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Fanfiction ► .hack//kingdom -a fanfic-



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Trey~Ice Knight~

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Chapter 3- The quest continues...

On a distant road, our four heroes continue their journey..." I'm hungry, kupo!" said Juhna as the heroes stopped along the road to rest a bit. "How long have we been walking?" said Kaito as he shared the last piece of snowball cake with his weary friend."About 7 miles"said Trey as he drank water from the local river."And yet we still haven't reached the point where we go into the other world, huh?" said Lixy. "Well, it's gonna take some time to get to my Montblanc...i mean the border" said Juhna as she lightly blushed. "Montblanc?...what does he have to do with any of this?" said Kaito. "Well, you see....wer'e meant to be" said Juhna as she looked up at the gray sky. "Well, we'd better get moving before it starts raining" said Trey as they got up and continued walking. " We'd better find a place to stay for the night, too" said Lixy. From the shadows, a figure was watching..."Now's my chance! I'll take them out one by one" said Maleficent as she made an invisible hole in the road. "Hey, it looks like things are clearing uuuuup!" said Lixy as she fell into the hole, luckily Trey grabbed her hand. "I got you, i'll never let you fall" he said as he pulled her back up out of the hole. "Drat!...this is going to make things harder..."said maleficent as she warped back to where the villans were. Meanwhile, at Destiny Islands, things were going a little...rough. "More heartless?" said Roxas as 100 heartless rushed through the world gate. " Not only that, but also lever 17 gunners are with them" said Aura. Not to mention the Antlions and Panthers that accompany them!" said Ritz as they continued to battle the enemies. "Theyre's no stop to this!" said Kairi as she began growing weary. "Don't give up, sister!" said Naminé as she also continued battling. "Let's just hope the heroes arrive here soon" said Shugo as he took out some enemies. "We're almost done!" said Sora. "Everyone, only a couple are left...keep on fighting!!!" said marche as they took out all the enemies. "That was tiresome" said Sora as he and the others rested from their battle. Meanwhile, back at our heroes...."That was a nice thing you did for me" said Lixy to Trey."It's nothing" he said as the four heroes continued on their path. "Well, this is for ur "nothing"" said Lixy as she kissed Trey on the cheek, making him turn red.
 

Aceflyheight

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Just like the past two chapters, great job once again. As for one more piece of advice that I can't believe that I never mentioned before, when you switch from having one character talking to another character, start a new paragraph. Also, it's easier to understand when you also make a new paragraph each time that you switch locations.

Let me show you what I mean. I'll edit the first part of Chapter Three to show you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On a distant road, our four heroes continued their journey...

"I'm hungry, kupo!" said Juhna as the heroes stopped along the road to rest a bit.

"How long have we been walking?" asked Kaito as he shared the last piece of snowball cake with his weary friend.

"About 7 miles." said Trey as he drank water from the local river.

"And yet we still haven't reached the point where we go into the other world, huh?" asked Lixy.

"Well, it's gonna take some time to get to my Montblanc...I mean the border." said Juhna as she lightly blushed.

"Montblanc?...what does he have to do with any of this?" asked Kaito.

"Well, you see....we're meant to be." said Juhna as she looked up at the gray sky.

"Well, we'd better get moving before it starts raining." said Trey as they got up and continued walking.

"We'd better find a place to stay for the night, too." said Lixy.

From the shadows, a figure was watching... "Now's my chance! I'll take them out one by one." said Maleficent as she made an invisible hole in the road.

"Hey, it looks like things are clearing uuuuup!" said Lixy as she fell into the hole, luckily Trey grabbed her hand.

"I got you, I'll never let you fall." said Trey as he pulled her back up out of the hole.

"Drat!...This is going to make things harder..." said Maleficent as she warped back to where the villans were.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also, I decided to go ahead and do some extra edits as well as showing you what I meant about making new paragraphs. Writing like this makes it much easier for people to see and definitely makes it easier on the eyes.

Well, that's my two cents for the day. Hope that you don't take any offense to my suggestions.
 

Trey~Ice Knight~

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chapter 4- intertwined hearts (in this chapter, we reveal the mysterious evil guy and also introduce a new villan...)

"I wonder when we'll meet the legendary heroes!" said Rena

"They pobrably think it's us that are the legendary warriors, though" said Riku as he looked at Rena who was walking by his side. Meanwhile, Zelfar and Montblanc were talking themselves about the journey they had embarked on.

"You know, they'res different parts to the profecy, you know" said Zelfar.

"Really kupo? I never knew, kupo!" said Montblanc as he listened to Zelfar attently.

"Yeah, the legendary are supposed to meet with the ones that have intertwined hearts" he said to his friend.

"Kupopo...i wonder who those could be?" said Montblanc as he scratched his head, wondering who this part of the profecy could be reffering to.

"Isn't it obvious?" said Zelfar.

"Kupo?" said Montblanc.

"Look at how Rena and Riku walk by each other..." he said as he responded to the moogle.

"They walk by each other...the same way Zeffie and Doned walk...and Shara and Mewt do too, kupo!" he said.

"Well, belive it or not, they are meant to be together, they have expressed their true feelings to one another and so they have "intertwined hearts" get it now?" said Zelfar as he laighed a bit.

"But then that means that we should have intertwined hearts too,kupo!...so why don't we?" pondered Montblanc.

"We have yet to find our other half, the ones were destined to be with...but someday we will...you'll find Juhna, and me the one i'm searching for..." said Zelfar.

"Juh-Juhna...her name sounds familiar" said Montblanc as the two continued on their journey with the rest of the group. After a while, they stopped to rest beside a cyberlake.

"Have we crossed the first sector of "The World" yet?" said Shara as she rested.

"No, not yet, my angel" said Mewt as he gave her water and rested with her.

"What's with them?" said Zeffie.

"Beats me..." said Doned as he lifted a piece of cake to his mouth. Suddenly, Zeffie took the piece from his hand before he could taste it.

"What are you doing?" said Doned as he looked at her angrily.

"I'm hungry...and besides, ladies first!" she said as she took a huge bite of it, leaving only a little bit for Doned. "Here you go!" she said as she gave Doned the tiny piece.

"I...i mean...oh nevermind" said Doned as he looked as the piece dissapointedly. Everyone else laughed, and then after a while Doned laughed too. Meanwhile, at the realm of Darkness, the mysterious player of "the world" was plotting something...

"I, Dark Kite shall rule everything!...Now tell me, why were you sent here?" he siad to the mysterious new person who appeared in the realm.

"I don't know...but i'm not staying" sayed the new person. Just as he was about to leave, Dark Kite snapped his fingers and his dark portal was shattered.

"Now tell me, who are you and what is your purpose?" said Dark Kite as he took out his weapon.

"I am...the replica of riku, the keyblade wielder" he said.

"So, replica...u were created by vexen the nobody, right?" said Dark Kite as the riku pelica nodded his head. "Replica...no, that name will not do, if u are to join or clan" said Dark Kite. "So, from now on, you are Xurik, sice u are somewhat like a nobody and were created by one" he said.

"One problem, i have no heart" said Xurik.

"No problem" said Dark Kite as he snapped his fingers, summoning a human-like heartless that he destroyed. He took the heart and gave it to Xurik.Suddenly, as he got the heart, he started to glow and when he stopped, he had the powers of Zexion.

"A...a heart?...These powers...Ionez...I'm sorry..." said Xurik as he stopped glowing. Meanwhile, back at where the council was, things had quieted down.

"Sora, do you think we are part of the profecy too?" said Kairi.

"Yes, i'm sure of it!" he said as Rona, Rika, Marche, Ritz, Shugo, Kairi and Aura looked at the book that contained the profecy.

To Be Continued...

What does the 3rd part of the profecy say? Will Zelfar ever find his true love? What of Xurik, will he use his new powers for good or evil? And what of our heroes, will they ever find the ones with"intertwined hearts"? Stay tuned n find out!

Next time, chapter 5 - Xurik's Choice
 

Aceflyheight

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Ok, now things are definitely starting to get interesting. So, Dark Kite and Xurik(Riku Replica) are going to be two of the bad guys in this story? I wonder how that is going to work out. Well, whatever, I digress, keep on writing. I can't wait to see your next chapter and I'm still wondering about what the third part of the prophecy states. I got a feeling that it's definitely going to be a surprise.
 

PKKzelfar

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Finally I'm in the main story!:thumbsup:
anyway good chapter
I think you should make something Like
Dark Orca and Dark Balmung
or maybe........Shadow Haseo
or.......make the Epitaph's
villains....making Corbenik the leader
 

Trey~Ice Knight~

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Ok, now things are definitely starting to get interesting. So, Dark Kite and Xurik(Riku Replica) are going to be two of the bad guys in this story? I wonder how that is going to work out. Well, whatever, I digress, keep on writing. I can't wait to see your next chapter and I'm still wondering about what the third part of the prophecy states. I got a feeling that it's definitely going to be a surprise.

actually in chapter one we were introduced to four enemies (the fourth one being a mystery) they are: Malificent, Remedi, Ovan, Dark Kite and now Xurik...perhaps maybe more enemies join them in the realm of darkness but who knows....^^...'cept me...anyway, yes, the third part of the prophecy will be revealing...:thumbsup:...but for now, just stay tuned...:thumbup:
 

Trey~Ice Knight~

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Finally I'm in the main story!:thumbsup:
anyway good chapter
I think you should make something Like
Dark Orca and Dark Balmung
or maybe........Shadow Haseo
or.......make the Epitaph's
villains....making Corbenik the leader

shadow haseo MIGHT make an appearance in my fanfic...oh yea n one possible character i'm considering for the dark council will be...Dark S____r...if anyone thinks they know the answer, then tell me by my mail n i'll tell u if ur right...:toungesmile:
 

Trey~Ice Knight~

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Chapter 5- Xurik's Choice
At the realm of darkness, Dark Kite asks Xurik to join the council of darkness..."J-join you?" thought Xurik to himself as he stared at Dark Kite

"Well, waht is your choice?" said Dark Kite.
"I...*stops, then grins* i wil join the council of darkness" said Xurik as his outfit became darker and he got a hood (like the ppl from org. 13).

"Good, now, we need more allies..."said Dark Kite as he paced around the room

"May i make a suggestion?" said Ovan

"I have someone in mind as well" said Malificent

"Actually, so do I" said Remedy as the three came foward.

"Well, let's hear it!" said Dark Kite as they began to speak...

Meanwhile, at a remote location of "The World"..."This seems like a crystal that's good enough, i should probably get back to the others" said the player as he began to walk back to where his friends were. Suddenly, Remedy appeared behind him.

"Haseo!...so glad i found you!" she said as she smiled

"Wh-who are YOU lady?" he said as he took out his weapon.

"Oh, u don't trust me?" said Remedy as she looked down. "Even when u are about to be a part of THE TEAM?!?!" she said as she looked avilly at Haseo.

"Wha-what;s happening to me?" said Haseo as he covered his ears and fell to the ground

"That, my dear, is the sound of evil...you are no longer Haseo, but a stronger, eviler version of yourself- SHADOW HASEO!!!" she said as he glowed with a dark aura and stood up, since the shadow virus had infected his body completely.

"Let's go...the master awaits to meet you" she said as the two headed for the realm of darkness...

Meanwhile, at Twilight Town, a young warrior was training..."That training sure was fun, and especially since you were there to help!" said the person to his companion.

"Sure thing, Setzer, anytime you wanna hang with me, just let me know!" said Fuu as she blushed slightly and left for her house.

"Fuu...i...oh nevermind, i'll tell her tomorrow!" said Setzer as he started to walk away from the arena.

"You have feelings for her, don't you?" said a voice from the shadows.

"Who's there?" said Setzer as he started to charge his energy.

"If you care for her, and want her safe, you will come with me, Setzer...and take this" said Malifiecent to the young hero as she gave him a pendant.

"What...what is this...object?" he said. Suddenly, the pendant glowed and Setzer was engulfed by a dark orb.

"ARISE, DARK SETZER!" said Malificent as she waved her staff and opened a dark portal.

"We must travel to the realm of darkness" said Setzer as he went through the portal with malificent. When they got there, Ovan had already returned with the 3rd new member of the council of darkness.

"...What do you want?..."said Dark Mireille as she stared at Dark Setzer.

"Yes...things are looking up now!" said Dark Kite as he laughed evilly. In a place distant from them, Xurik was alone, thinking to himself...

"I have to help them...or else the fourth profecy shall never come true" thought Xurik to himself as he opened a portal and went through it.

Meanwhile, back at the Council of Light, they were reading the third part of the profecy..."Let's see...when the ones with intertwined hearts and the legendary heroes meet, the heroes will face a terrible enemy that they cannot defeat. When this occurs, the sun and moon will become one and there shall be an eternal day..." said Sora as he finished reading the book tome.

"Wait...there's more to it, isn't there?" said Aura.

"Look! The page was torn" said Marche as he pointed to the book.

"But who could of done this?" said Rika as he wondered who it could be...

"Someone who didn't want you guys to know the last part of the profecy" said a mysterious figure from the shadows.

"I...i recognize that voice!" said Naminé as the shadow came near to them.

"Yes, it's me, the Riku Replica...only now i go by Xurik" he said

"Well, spit it out!" said Rona

"Spit what out?" said Ritz and Kairi

"The fourth part of the profecy" said Roxas.

"FIne, fine....At the third eternal day, The Guardians of Light and the Keepers of Dark will face each other, and a great chaos shall occur...When this happens, two warriors - one of day and one of night - shall bring balance to the worlds and the chaos will dissapear...but the warriors will be lost forever, traveling through time..." said Xurik. "But that's not all, it says : if the warriors escape with their lives, the chaos will halt but the worlds will remain connected and more worlds might appear..."he said. "Well,...hope i helped you guys out...."he said as he opened a portal back to the realm of darkness and left.

"A terrible enemy, an eternal day and a time of chaos..."said Shugo as he looked at the other council members who started to discuss what they could do.

Meanwhile, at a distant road, our four heroes had reached an obstacle, a mysterious laberynth..."Well guys, looks like we have to go through it" said Trey as he led his allies into the strange maze...

To Be Continued...
 

Aceflyheight

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Great chapter as always, Trey. At least now we know the third and fourth parts of the prophecy. I only have one question though, is the Mireille in the story, the same one from .hack?

Another thing, can't wait to see how Trey's group fares in the labryinth. Hope to see another chapter soon.
 

Trey~Ice Knight~

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yes, the one that hunts rare items and weapons for her collection...and as for the labryinth, let's just say what will be at it's end will be...special for one of the heroes...:thumbup: but glad u liked it^^
 

Trey~Ice Knight~

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Chapter 6- Labryinth

Our heroes ventured into the depths of the labryinth, not knowing what perils they had to face.

"I feel strange, as if i've been here before" said Trey as he turned to the side and the others followed him.

"Yeah, but we've never been here!" said Lixy as she walked by his side.

"Yeah, i know, but still, i know i've seen this place before...i think i've dreamed of it before" he said as he continued walking.

"Well if you've seen it before, then you should know the way out, right?" said Kaito as Trey suddenly sped up.

"Yea! c'mon, it's this way!" said Trey as he started running.

"Wait up, kupo!" said Juhna as she began to run. Suddenly, they all stopped at what appeared to be the center of the labryinth. "Kupo?" she asked as she looked at Trey.

"This place, it used to be...a palace" said Trey as he looked around. Suddenly, he stepped on a stone that activated a switch and the whole place turned into a lake.

"What is this place?" siad Kaito as he and the others looked around.

"It's the lake of sorrow, the royal palace used to be here, but that time has passed" said a young warrior who looked like Trey, only with blue hair and white (at the ends), wolf paws, fangs, ears and a wolf tail and was trapped in a large blue crystal beside the lake. "I've since lost everything, my home, my parents, and even my twin brother. What's worse, some old lady made me half-wolf and imprisoned me in this crystal, with no way of escaping" and forced me to join some organization (wink wink) which is why i have this oufit" said the warrior.

"That's terrible, kupo!" said Juhna as she looked sadly at him.

"Twin brother? wait....Xegba is that you?!?!" said Trey as he went up to the crystal,

"Xegba?!?! You never said you had a twin brother named Xegba!" said Lixy angrily to Trey.

"That's because i didn't know he was still alive, the time we spent together was only when we were small, that's all i can remember" said Trey as he looked at his brother.

"Any idea of how to break ya outta there?" said Kairo.

"Hmm...let's see...I think the old witch said something like "one of the warriors of legend will use their abilities to free you, but until that time, many suns will rise and many moons shall fall" or something like that..."said Xegba.

"Legendary warriors, kupo?...We don't know them, kupo, but maybe we can use our powers kupo!" said Juhna as her hands started glowing. Suddenly, a white orb was released which wrapped itself around the crystal, then it stopped at the center of it and transformed into a key that unlocked the crystal and freed Xegba. "I...i did it kupo?" said Juhna as everyone looked at her in amazement. Suddenly, she started glowing again and then she dissapeared and in her place was Zelfar.

"Oh boy...hello, who are you guys?" said Zelfar

Meanwhile, at the place where the ones with the intertwined hearts are...

"Kupo! this has been a long day, hasn't it, kupo?" said Montblanc to Zelfar, but he got no response. "Are you kupo listening?" he said again. When he turned around, he saw a young, beautiful moogle girl about his age (Juhna).

"Kupopo! you're Montblanc, kupo!" she said happily as she hugged him.

"Kupo? You're who, kupo?" he said as he turned red.

"My name is Juhna, kupo!" she said happily as she smiled at him.

"Juhna...The legendary warrior Juhna? The one i'm destined to spend my life with?" he said happily as his eyes glistened.

"Uh...legendary kupo?....But yes, i'm supposed to remain with you!" she said as she looked into his eyes.

"Hey, what's the commotion back there?...And where's Zelfar?" said Riku as he looked at Juhna and Montblanc. Suddenly, he and Rena dissapeared in a flash of light. "Mewt...your leader noooow!" he said before he dissapeared.

Meanwhile, back at the labryinth....

"So, your name is Zelfar, your is Riku and hers is Rena, right?" said Kaito to the new warriors.

"Yup, and you guys are Trey, Lixy, Kaito and Xegba, correct?" said Riku to Trey and his friends.

"Yea, but where did Juhna go?" said Trey to Riku.

"I think that when we were sent here, she took my place and should be with the others now!" said Zelfar.

"Well, we should keep moving forward, i wanna reach the end of this maze before nightfall" said Trey as they continued walking.

After a couple of minutes, they reached the end of the labryinth, and what they saw at the end shocked everyone. "Is that...the palace?" said Trey as he looked at an old palace that was beat-up and abandoned. "Is that...our home, Xegba?" said Trey as Lixy looked worried at him and everyone just stared at the castle.

"What...what happened?" said Xegba as they all walked towards the palace.

To Be Continued...

Next Chapter - The Secret Palace
 
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Trey~Ice Knight~

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Chapter 7 - The Secret Palace

Before the group stood a large abandoned castle that was falling apart but somehow stood up.

"We have to go in there!" said Trey to his friends.

"No! wait...we all want to go too" said Lixy as everyone nodded.

"Well then, let's go" said Trey as they walked towards the castle.

"Don't you remember anything about when you used to live here, Trey?" said Zelfar to his friend.

"Not much, how bout you Xegba?" said Trey to his brother.

"All i remember is that mother used to sing us a song as she layed us to sleep...but i can't even remember THAT" said Xegba as he looked sadly at his brother.

"Well, we've reached the door" said Rena as they all stopped.

"THAT'S A BIIIG DOOR!" said Lixy as she jumped up in amazement.

"So...how do we open such a grand door?" said Kaito.

"Only Xegba and Trey can open this door, i'm sure of it" said Riku as he looked at the two, who looked at each other confused.

"Hmm...what are we supposed to do, brother?" said Xegba as he looked at Trey.

"Maybe...we just lift our hands up at the doors and then they will open?" said Trey as they lifted their hands and faced them towards the doors. Suddenly, their palms started glowing and the door opened. "Why did i know that?" said Trey to himself as they proceeded to enter through the door. When they got inside, everything was intact, the opposite of the castle's exterior. "This place...i think i'm starting to remember!" said Trey happily.

"Good, you should remember" said a voice from the depths of the castle.

"Wh-who's there?" said Lixy as she grabbed onto Trey.

"You need not fear, i mean you all no harm" said the voice as he stepped into the lighted place."My name is Seth, and i am keeper of this castle" said the young man who looked a LOT like terra only not as tall and with silver and yellow hair. "I am your cousin, Trey, and i have waited many times for this day to happen" he said happily as he ran over to Trey and his friends.

"Perhaps you can tell us why Trey didn't remember why he used to be a prince?" said Kaito as he listened eagerly.

"When darkness took over the kingdom, Trey and Xegba were seperated, for they were sought after. Her highness though it best to send Trey to a normal family and paid them not to tell him the truth while Xegba remained close with a group of monks. Her highness lost sleep because she missed both of you very much, and loved you dearly. She told me that if we ever were united, to tell you that she missed you every night and that she prayed for the day she could see your faces again. She was a kind, just ruler until the darkness came and stole her heart, crushing her very essence" said Seth sadly as he shed a tear.

"No...mother" said Trey as fe fell to the floor and began crying, soon Lixy and Xegba cried with him too. "Who did this?" said Trey as he continued to sob.

"The witch that seeks hearts, Maleficent" said Seth. Trey, Lixy and Xegba got up and began walking out of the castle.

"Come Seth, we have a world to save..." said Trey, now more determined than ever to stop the Dark council...

To Be Continued...
 
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