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Fanfiction ► .Hack//E.P.//vol. 1 legacy



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TheLastKnight

You Swear To Listen
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yeah cause much of our squad leader ain't on.
and for your fanfic cause well don't know
You talking about me, how rude! (joking)

anyways, I try to get on, but sometimes my dad won't let me...ah well, I'm gonna play the RPG a bit tomorrow.

anyways, maybe add a little description to everything, not that you're not adding any at all, you've done well so far
 

PKKzelfar

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Anywhere,dammit
You talking about me, how rude! (joking)

anyways, I try to get on, but sometimes my dad won't let me...ah well, I'm gonna play the RPG a bit tomorrow.

anyways, maybe add a little description to everything, not that you're not adding any at all, you've done well so far
Yeah, i'm gonna add some description later TLK
and thanks on what you think on my fanfic.!:thumbsup:
(oh, and what kind of description?)
 
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PKKzelfar

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Ep.4- Nightmare chapter1/4(mini chapter)- Alone

"It's you.....Zelfar!!"

"What are you doing here?," Zelfar asked.
"Looking for the number one," the C8 member said.
"Don't you see?, he's not even logged-in!," Zelfar said.

The teams faced off with each other leaving all players with low HP.

"These guys,......, they are all looking for the chosen one?",N0thing said.

"You....got lucky that we don't have any healing items,"One of the members said.
"We'll see you again......Zelfar!," the other member said.

All of the members left the field, after that Zelfar and his team
left the field.

(The...Chosen one?is it.... Rika?,with that power?,)Rona asked to herself.
Everyone all logged-out
They thinked all about what happened on that day.
Rika finally got home after visiting her Grandma.
"That soup was nasty!," Rika said to himself.

Next day-
"Time to log-in!", Zelfar said.

He got to the @home......
"No one is...here?,well only the...grunty," Rika said.
"Welcome,Hoink!," the abyss grunty said.
"Where are the others?,"Rika asked.
"Haven't seen them, hoink!," Abyss Grunty replied.
"Well, i'll just go get a solo quest then!," Rika said.

Rika finised the quest but.............. , something opened a battle with him.
"What the.....?," Rika said.
"Hahahah.....," ___________ said.

To be continued.................

If some one can guest who this character is i'll PM them a secret ep. of the chaos 8!(if you like to guess)
hint: He is a character from .Hack//GU vol.3//Redemption
 
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TheLastKnight

You Swear To Listen
Joined
Apr 15, 2007
Messages
2,181
Website
s9.invisionfree.com
"It's you.....Zelfar!!"

"What are you doing here?,"Zelfar asked.
"Looking for the number one," the C8 memeber said.
"Don't you see?, he's not even logged-in!," Zelfar said.

The teams faced off with each other leaving all players with low HP.

"These guys,......, they are all looking for the chosen 1?",N0thing said.

"You....got lucky that we don't have any healing items,"One of the members said.
"We'll see you again......Zelfar!," the other member said.

All of the members left the field, after that Zelfar and his team
left the field.

(The...Chosen 1?is it.... Rika?,with that power?,)Rona asked to herself.
Everyone all logged-out
They thinked all about what happened on that day.
Rika finally got home after visiting her Grandma.
"That soup was nasty!," Rika said to himself.

Next day-
"Time to log-in!", Zelfar said.

He got to the @home......
"No one is...here?,well only the...grunty," Rika said.
"Welcome,Hoink!," the abyss grunty said.
"Where are the others?,"Rika asked.
"Haven't seen them, hoink!," Abyss Grunty replied.
"Well, i'll just go get a solo quest then!," Rika said.

Rika finised the quest but.............. , something opened a battle with him.
"What the?.....," Rika said.
okay...a few points, just a few errors

put a space between the quotation in the 1st blacked letters (arial black),
Member was spelled wrong,
if a charactar is talking, use full words, except (since this is an online game) if they say "lol" and they actually say the letters "lol" it's fine (the way I see it) you used the number "1" instead of putting "one",
the last one, it should be, "What the.......?" instead of what you had


just some very MINOR errors...

and I mean the discription as to describing the battle instead of just saying, "The teams faced off with each other leaving all players with low HP." actually go into the battle
 

PKKzelfar

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Fine.... My final guess is..... Zelkova!!! You could have given some clues...

Okay, i'll give one more clue and one more chance for you to answer,
his name starts with C and ends with A
and................. just say when you need one more clue but i willl only give one more
clue and only three can win on my questions
and sorry if i'm not replying it's because i'm banned from the computer
and i can only use it when my parents are out
 

Trey~Ice Knight~

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Joined
Sep 19, 2007
Messages
149
Location
Earth ^_^
i understand how that feels, i can only use the computer at computer lab -_-...anyway, i likie .hack//twilight and all the other books/games (butmainly twilight)...i was wondering, can i make a character so that it can appear in ur story? if so, here he is...

Name: Trey (when in full-wolf form, Artik)
Age:18
Weapon: Twin Glacier Blades (Sowrds made completely of Ice crystals)
Element: Ice & Moon
Appearance: A fusion of Roxas' outfit and Shugo's only using white and blue colors...
Extra: Half-wolf (in "The World") that is brave, outgoing, funny and smart....In the real world, he's just moved by Rika (lives a couple of houses down from her) and is shy, smart, funny and strong, only he's not as out going because of his past...
Bio: In the past, Trey used to be one of the legendary players of "The World" until the day his girlfriend betrayed him, and conspired so that he'd never be in the game ever again. Since then, he is very shy and spends as much time as he can in "The World" (whenever he has no assignments from college) searching for his girlfriend in hopes of one day finding her. He carries around her pendant, which is the source for his Lunar powers (so because of the wolf he has ice powers (orbs of energy) and because of his love for his girlfriend, he got the Lunar powers)...

Anyway, hope u are taking characters...and keep on writing when u can, it's quite a good story! and if u want, u can check my story out!
It's called "The Elemental Warriors"...

thanx!
 

PKKzelfar

New member
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
821
Location
Anywhere,dammit
i understand how that feels, i can only use the computer at computer lab -_-...anyway, i likie .hack//twilight and all the other books/games (butmainly twilight)...i was wondering, can i make a character so that it can appear in ur story? if so, here he is...

Name: Trey (when in full-wolf form, Artik)
Age:18
Weapon: Twin Glacier Blades (Sowrds made completely of Ice crystals)
Element: Ice & Moon
Appearance: A fusion of Roxas' outfit and Shugo's only using white and blue colors...
Extra: Half-wolf (in "The World") that is brave, outgoing, funny and smart....In the real world, he's just moved by Rika (lives a couple of houses down from her) and is shy, smart, funny and strong, only he's not as out going because of his past...
Bio: In the past, Trey used to be one of the legendary players of "The World" until the day his girlfriend betrayed him, and conspired so that he'd never be in the game ever again. Since then, he is very shy and spends as much time as he can in "The World" (whenever he has no assignments from college) searching for his girlfriend in hopes of one day finding her. He carries around her pendant, which is the source for his Lunar powers (so because of the wolf he has ice powers (orbs of energy) and because of his love for his girlfriend, he got the Lunar powers)...

Anyway, hope u are taking characters...and keep on writing when u can, it's quite a good story! and if u want, u can check my story out!
It's called "The Elemental Warriors"...

thanx!

Yeah, i'll add that character later,
and this is the first time that someone asked me to make them a character
that is not in my buddy list(and if you wanna be buddies PM really fast, cause i'm gonna go)
and other readers post quickly if you wanna say something because i'm gonna go later
(i'm just in the school computer room)
 
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