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Fanfiction ► .Hack//E.P.//vol. 1 legacy



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PKKzelfar

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yeah nobody answered the question yet, huh?

anyway i'll just hide his/its name

Ep.4- nightmare chapter 2/4- confrontation

"What the hell?," Rika said.
"Are you ready?!," C___a asked.
Rika and C___a stared at each other angrily.
C___a took out his weapon, it was a double blade!

"Two....blades?," Rika said.
C___a ran towards Rika and slashed continuoslly.

"Die!," C___a shouted, he was about to attack but........
a wind blowed through them.
"Stop what you're doing!," Someone said holding two blades like C___a.
"Who are you!?," C___a aked.
"I'm the legendary double blade master!," Someone said.
"Ugh, NOT YET!!!!!!!!!!!," C___a shouted.
"What...what the heck?," C___a asked without even knowing what happened.
"What?, you don't remember what happened?," Rika asked.
"No, and who are you?," C___a asked.
"I'm Rika!," Rika said.
"Yeah, see you again Rika!," C___a said, C____a logged out.

"That was weird!," Rika said, he looked at the guy who saved him.
"Phew!, he was strong!, hey anyway," ??? said.
"Who are you anyway?," Rika asked.
"I'm the legendary double blade master, Bakura!," Bakura said
"Bakura huh?, hey wait a minute you're the one who trains blade masters
to become double blade masters!, Rika said.
"Yes, i am he!, and tommorow i can extend you blade job!," Bakura said.
"Why not today?!," Rika asked.
"Well, i really have no time!, sorry, anyway just go to-
Delta:Blade Masters Extension tommorow," Bakura said.
" Okay," Rika said, both of them logged out of the game.

In an area
"He's going to have the extension!," ??? said.
"Yes!, and C___a has awakened and his memories have rebooted", ??? said.
" Let's wait what happens next!," ??? said.
 
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F

Faint_Remnant

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Crappy. Yes i've played the game and it's kind of a shame. You have no details whatsoever describing the environment. After every question you have three marks, which clearly isn't needed. Your grammar needs to be elaborated a LOT more. I mean just practice more and you dont have to have the whole chapter, with just a couple of people talking. Add to it, and not have everything in speech.
 

PKKzelfar

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Crappy. Yes i've played the game and it's kind of a shame. You have no details whatsoever describing the environment. After every question you have three marks, which clearly isn't needed. Your grammar needs to be elaborated a LOT more. I mean just practice more and you dont have to have the whole chapter, with just a couple of people talking. Add to it, and not have everything in speech.

Well sorry!
i said it's my style okay, and i'm not even used to english grammar
because i'm FILIPINO!
anyway i'll try to make it good!
 

PKKzelfar

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oh yeah here's the levels and weapons or classes(which maybe some on't know yet)of our characters

Rika: Lv.25
Weapon:Blade Baruuc
class: Blade master

Rona:Lv.26
Weapon:Wrath feathers
Class:Twin blade

Betel: Lv.27
Weapon:Scatter wave
Class: Steam Gunner

Nivax:Lv.27
Weapon:Blaze Duprah
Class: Edge Punisher

Zelfar and the gang:Lv.45
Weapon:???(all)
Class:???(all)

N0thing:Lv.25
Weapon:Wrath Explider(rare weapon for you)
Class:Steam Gunner

Shino: Lv.25
Weapon:(still confirming)
Job: adept rogue

TLK:Lv.25
Weapon: Pierce Baruuc
Class:Blade Master

Max:Lv.25
Weapon:Rapid Feathers
Job:Twin blade

Xugoh: Lv.25
Weapon: Rapid Razor
Job:Wavemaster

Trey:Lv.20
Weapon:(still confirming)
Job:(still confirming)

all C8 members:Lv.60

Bakura:Lv.30
weapon:X porzak
Job:Blade master(extensioned)

C___a:Lv.28
Weapon:???
Class:???

that's enough for now
 
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PKKzelfar

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i understand how that feels, i can only use the computer at computer lab -_-...anyway, i likie .hack//twilight and all the other books/games (butmainly twilight)...i was wondering, can i make a character so that it can appear in ur story? if so, here he is...

Name: Trey (when in full-wolf form, Artik)
Age:18
Weapon: Twin Glacier Blades (Sowrds made completely of Ice crystals)
Element: Ice & Moon
Appearance: A fusion of Roxas' outfit and Shugo's only using white and blue colors...
Extra: Half-wolf (in "The World") that is brave, outgoing, funny and smart....In the real world, he's just moved by Rika (lives a couple of houses down from her) and is shy, smart, funny and strong, only he's not as out going because of his past...
Bio: In the past, Trey used to be one of the legendary players of "The World" until the day his girlfriend betrayed him, and conspired so that he'd never be in the game ever again. Since then, he is very shy and spends as much time as he can in "The World" (whenever he has no assignments from college) searching for his girlfriend in hopes of one day finding her. He carries around her pendant, which is the source for his Lunar powers (so because of the wolf he has ice powers (orbs of energy) and because of his love for his girlfriend, he got the Lunar powers)...

Anyway, hope u are taking characters...and keep on writing when u can, it's quite a good story! and if u want, u can check my story out!
It's called "The Elemental Warriors"...

thanx!


oh yeah about that:
there are no more wolf jobs on R:3 sorry!
and what element are you talking about?
there are no elements in "The World" only jobs
and you can't pick weapons of your own, hmmmm................
i know i'll make an episode about you finding that weapon but not now
sorry about that okay
 

Trey~Ice Knight~

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umm...i meant blue and white orbs of energy (lunar and ice)...i just give them elemental names becuase of their effects (white= weaken, blue=freeze)...and okay!...i'll wait for that chapter and hope my character joins the party soon...oh yea and forget about that loser dude who told u this story was crappy, he knows nothing....
 

N0thing

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In Jakarta
oh yea and forget about that loser dude who told u this story was crappy, he knows nothing....

yeah forget him, you're story is great.
well grammars aren't much of a problem anyway, people still understands what you're talking about.

oh yeah hope you'll continue it soon!!:)
 
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