Going on Hiatus



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KingdomKey

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Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't be writing this unless it was important. I think some of you could probably tell already, but I'm not sticking around for the remainder of the year. I can't do it anymore.

I can't be what everyone wants me to be. Both in real life and online. I haven't been happy these past few months. I almost left back in June when things were at their worst in real life, but stuck around because, I didn't want to quit or be a quitter. Except I'm barely able to recognize myself anymore; where I'm constantly frustrated lately, verbally complaining more often, and this isn't me. This isn't like me at all. I don't know if it's the holidays, the pressure of being a moderator, or something else. But I'm tired of competing against a fantasy version of myself that doesn't even exist. I feel like I'm not good enough any more. I feel like a disappointment to myself and to those around me. And none of this is anyone's fault except for mine, however, I need to step away from the forum for awhile. Maybe clear my head and get my sh*t together. A break might be what I need to bounce back, and to be a better person, a better friend, and a better moderator. Or be like Papyrus, who's all smiles and believes in the good of everyone! Right now, I can't see the good in me. I feel like I hit a new low lately. It's why I quit my social media because, I knew I was close to my breaking point. And I'm tired of trying to do everything, cause I always take on more than I should.

In the meantime, I'm sorry for those of you who are/were counting on me to read everything you post. But I can't keep up with it at this rate. All of you are amazing writers and gifted artists, who deserve all of the praise in the world and then some! You're an amazing community that I'm proud of! I'm also sorry that I won't be co-writing anything in the immediate future right now either. However, I know in my heart you'll do just fine writing on your own. (You know who you are. ;)) And I'm really sorry I can't be a better friend to all of you. I know I've let you guys down when I don't respond to your messages after awhile. Both on here and outside of the forum. Some of you, who haven't heard from me in over a year. If not months at best. But I really do appreciate all of you. Thank you for being my friend. Including those of you who are new! I hope you guys can forgive me. Right now, I think it's time I take care of myself and put some other things first for my health. It's been another long and hard year, which is funny because, I thought last year was bad.

Personally, this might become a joke later should I find the strength, DETERMINATION, and motivation I use to have to get things done on here. Anyways, I'm sorry for making you guys read all of this. And I'm sorry for myself, for being who I am right now. Someday, future me, you'll get a pep talk. Or I'll lend a hand that pulls you out of the water, so you'll stop drowning.

I'll see you guys in 2018!
 
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Recon

Thank you Edmunds
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I'm sorry to see you go away, Mite. And you don't have to be sorry for anything lol.

If what you type is truly how you feel, then yes, a break sounds like it's needed.

Collect yourself.

Sometimes we reflect to evaluate our actions, what we stand for, and who we are, but come back when you figure it out.

If you ever need to vent, post in the General Help/Discussion parts of the forum and we'll be there for you.
 

jamjack2001

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The fact that you took the time to write such an open and honest message to your community about how you're feeling proves how much you care about everyone. My opinion may be invalid since I don't know you personally but, person to person, I hope you come out of this situation triumphant.
 

Max

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You've gotta do what you've gotta do, take care of yourself first and cut certain things out if you need to to alleviate some of that mental stress. Everyone appreciates everything you do around here, but I'm sure everyone would also want you to make sure you aren't taking on too much and overeheleming yourself.
 

Chuman

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oh jeez. ooooooohhhh jeez. good luck with everything and i wish you the best, everyone needs a break sometimes.
 

DarkGrey Heroine

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Dear friend, you know very well that taking a break to recollect yourself, even if that break will be months of peaceful, helpful isolation, this decision doesn't change how I - how we - feel about you and how you made us feel, so there is no need to apologize :')
Please, human, have MERCY and forgive yourself for the past. Take your time to heal, to fix what needs to be fixed, and through it all, STAY DETERMINED

Whenever the time comes for us to meet again, I'll greet you with the warmest (virtual) hug. I hope, with all my heart, that you will find the inner peace and inner ...portrait!.. you need and are determined to find

I believe in you

and I'm rooting for ya, dear

Take care of yourself, 'cause someone really cares about you
 

Zul

 
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You've been slowly moving away from online stuff for a while now.

I look back at this site after 11 months of not even visiting the front page and the first thing I see is your hiatus thread XD.

Hope everything works out.

Doesn't seem like you'll be missing out on much here though....this place seems a little dead.
 

Grizzly

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You certainly can't be blamed, life is often tough.

You're a treasure around here, it's important you take care of yourself. Best of luck!
 
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