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Help/Support ► friendzone



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hey guy's. how does one get out of the friendzone? plus i understand what happened in my last post. so how does one get out of it.
 

Badger

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Well first you need to understand that the friendzone isn't really a thing. People and relationships are more complicated than that.

If you've asked this person out and they've rejected you, then you might just have to move on. I know that might sound kind of harsh, but there really isn't something you can magically do to make someone be attracted to you.

I've been on both sides of this so I know how hard it can be. I've had plenty of unrequited loves, and it's not fun at all, I get it. But I've also been on the side where I'm sure this person thought I "friendzoned" him. He would always say sweet and romantic things but I just wasn't into him in a romantic way so it became super awkward to the point that now we aren't even friends.

I would hate for you to lose a friend because you're convinced if you just do this, this and this they will change their mind.
 

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Appreciate being their friend because being someone's friend isn't a punishment. Being in a relationship isn't better than the other.
 
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ok i i see what you guy's. but i feel hopeless when i tried so hard, then fail miserable in the end.
 

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Having a friend is important. When things get you down, they'll be there to get you back up your feet again. If your in a bad mood, your friends can cheer you up again. I did read your other post about it. And well you are still young at heart to that. Respect the person being friends with you. And enjoy it the times you have. Hang out somewhere fun. Make the memories last. Give the person an understanding and respect that decision wants to be in a friend zone.
 
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Nutari

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Instead of trying to win the girl over, be her friend because you actually want to be her friend. Be a gift. That's how relationships actually grow bud. If there's anything I've learned in 19 years, it's that not being in a relationship isn't the end of the world. Having really good and healthy relationships with females is more desirable than a girlfriend. Certainly there are times when you're going to want somebody to hold and kiss, etc, but that's not the point of love. You can love those other people in ways you can't gain romantic love. And after you've put in the work to tighten those friendships, maybe one day one of those people will fall for you. Relationships shouldn't be like how we see in TV's and Movies. Those relationships often occur arbitrarily. These ones have potential to be incredibly meaningful.

Also, monitor yourself. Don't let yourself become part of emotionally dependent relationships, and from what it sounds like, you're emotionally dependent on this person who 'friendzoned' you. Emotional dependency leads to obsession, jealousy and a whole host of other really bad things. The best thing you can do right now is step back and try to process the things that have happened, so that you can first of all be healthy enough to continue to interact with this person who you care for. Without the threat of overstepping boundaries.

I'm under the impression you're straight. If not, the same thing still applies. In the end, be a gift.
 
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I agree with most of what they're saying but you should never be friends with someone because you expect something (sex, a relationship) to happen. Be friends because you want to be friends. Expecting anything from anyone is where you get hurt. And also hurt the other person.

Complaining about being "friendzoned" by your friend like it's some sort of punishment or something you have to force your way out of actually REALLY hurts the other person because you don't want to be their friend, it just makes them feel like you only want to have sex with them, because in a lot of cases, a relationship is just the same friendship + sex.
 
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DarkGrey Heroine

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You tell your feelings to the person you like, and then face one of the 2 results:
1) get rejected ----> get over it or try even harder but that makes things awkward for both
2) get in a relationship ----> ???? ----> PROFIT xD

either way, you lose your friend forever. If option 2 happens, then the friend becomes a lover and if the relationship doesn't work, you'll break up and most probably will become strangers to each other, so the friendship is gone forever. This is what I experienced. It's not that bad, you get to know he/she's not the right person and don't even want to meet them again in your life

relationships are so complicated, it either lasts or not, so you just have to take them as they are and not suffer too much. Or you'll create Unversed, and when you kill those Unversed, you'll feel extreme pain in your chest. And then more Unversed will be created. So, you must just take them as they are and ... try. There are always risks, but if you don't get too careless with sexual stuff or marriage promises or any other abuses or fights, then you can as well try and see how things work out.
You know, "one never knows until one tries"
...
 

Zettaflare

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Personally, if I was in your position, I'd just end the relationship. If I still had feelings for the person and I know it will never progress beyond friendship, I honestly don't have a desire to remain friends. It'd just be really awkward and uncomfortable
 
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Personally, if I was in your position, I'd just end the relationship. If I still had feelings for the person and I know it will never progress beyond friendship, I honestly don't have a desire to remain friends. It'd just be really awkward and uncomfortable
but I'm not that kind of person. i still talk to girls i like since 7th grade. and I'm a junior in high school.
 

Zettaflare

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but I'm not that kind of person. i still talk to girls i like since 7th grade. and I'm a junior in high school.

I meant more on the lines of if you confessed your feelings and the person you confessed to doesn't feel the way.

It's fine if you feel otherwise, I just have different feelings on the matter
 

Oracle Spockanort

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I meant more on the lines of if you confessed your feelings and the person you confessed to doesn't feel the way.

It's fine if you feel otherwise, I just have different feelings on the matter

That's really sad. You don't just end a friendship because the other person doesn't want to date you. Thinking about yourself and your feelings is fine, but you also have to see this from the side of the friend. They didn't see anything wrong with the friendship until the confession and probably didn't see anything wrong after beyond wanting to move past the awkwardness.

Instead of being petty and just ending a perfectly good friendship because you can't have that person the way you want to have them, maybe try to put some effort into fixing the friendship. The confessor is the one who caused the rift, so don't run away because you ruined something good.

If you end a friendship like that, it just proves exactly why you aren't relationship material.

That is my opinion of your opinion, of course.
 
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That's really sad. You don't just end a friendship because the other person doesn't want to date you. Thinking about yourself and your feelings is fine, but you also have to see this from the side of the friend. They didn't see anything wrong with the friendship until the confession and probably didn't see anything wrong after beyond wanting to move past the awkwardness.

Instead of being petty and just ending a perfectly good friendship because you can't have that person the way you want to have them, maybe try to put some effort into fixing the friendship. The confessor is the one who caused the rift, so don't run away because you ruined something good.

If you end a friendship like that, it just proves exactly why you aren't relationship material.

That is my opinion of your opinion, of course.
thanks master spocknart. you have been on my case since i join here. thank you friend.

hey annyonance if your there, should i not stop being friends with her?
 
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Nyangoro

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You can't "get out of the friendzone." If someone isn't romantically interested in you, then they aren't romantically interested in you. Now, it's true that it could maybe change in the future, and it's perfectly okay to hope somewhere in the back of your mind that it does someday; but it's unreasonable to expect it or feel that it's owed to you.

You can express your desire to enter into a romantic relationship; but obviously, this carries risk. She could say yes, and you could start going out, and hopefully everything goes smoothly from there.

But if she says no, then you have a decision to make. Are you okay with staying friends? Do you think it would be too painful for you to stay friends afterwords? Understand that neither answer is wrong. I actually disagree with Spockanort to an extent. There is nothing wrong with ending a friendship because you wanted to become more romantically involved. Does it suck? Sure. And yeah, she's losing a friend; but in your mind, the friendship might already be lost. Of course, if you both are able to stay friends, then that works too.

The important time is before you ask to progress a relationship further, not after or during. You have to ask if you're willing to risk potentially ending a friendship for the chance to be something more. You also have to ask yourself if you could stay friends with her following a rejection. It's important to consider things from her point of view as well; but at the same time, if you're considering risking the next step at all, that alone proves that those feelings have already started forming on your end. And it can be a dangerous thing to let them simmer in silence.
 

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I think you should talk to her about this, about your feelings and if you really feel like it's too painful, maybe you guys should just drift apart for a while. But that's also her choice too. She could be very hurt that you don't wanna try to be her friend despite all this.
 

Nutari

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oh god i didn't even think about that.

I completely understand how you're feeling right now. These kinds of things are really rough. But seriously take a step back. I'm not judging or trying to be mean to you, but it seems like you're starting to spiral, or at least reacting very strongly to this situation. Definitely talk to this person. Do it ASAP, and let us know what happens.
 
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