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snowdog

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dark_dutchman said:
let's see...

the fic is getting more original with every new chapter you write.

Again, it's very discriptive, wich can be a bad thing for people who prefer alot of action.

You put some humor in it, wich i don't find necessary, but still good.

My conclusion: a very good and discriptive fic!

thanks dd, i knew the beginning was gonna sound unoriginal, i'm just glad you guys stuck around until it got more original :) thanks.
yeah, i knew that this fic was gonna be descriptive, a lot of it came from needing to practise for a descriptive writing exam, which is next week >.< *scaredness*
thanks so much dd, your constructive criticism is great ^-^

aww, but i brought cookies too! *hands out cookies* not as good as L337's, but cookies all the same!

lol sorasheart, i love the simpsons XD oh, and no-one will be wearing a bathrobe!

sorry but the next chappy is gonna up either tomorrow or thursday night.

i have another exam tomorrow and i'm not feeling so good as it is :( and i really should be revising right now. so i'm really sorry, but i'll make sure it's up as soon as possible.

<3 <3
 
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snowdog

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dark_dutchman said:
having your finals i see, i'm having mine next week on thursday (and i'm scared to death)

yeah, got my GCSE's at the moment, i did really badly in one yesterday, which kinda scared me because i've got loads left to do. no time to write more chappies, just time to revise... :rolleyes:

good luck in your finals, i hope you do well! :)

<3 <3
 

snowdog

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hi ^-^

i had my desciptive writing exam today, so now i have time for more chappies :)

Chapter Twenty-Four

It was just like any other room in Disney Castle. The huge windows, minimal amount of furniture, large bed, white walls. It was surprising, considering the fact that he was the King. Even his room on the Gummi Ship was more extravagant than this room. This room was simple. Minimalist. But, even in the darkness of the night, the room felt light and breezy. Everything was white, except for the little details. The sheets were a regal shade of royal blue, as were the curtains. Small, intricate carvings on the furniture had all been carefully painted in the same shade. King Mickey stood before the huge windows, looking out into the night sky, into the vast, shimmering kingdom of the stars, ruled by the pale, milky light of the full moon. Wisps of smoky cloud cloaked the ground, snaking in and out of the starlight. Sora took a step towards him.

“We didn’t wake you, did we?” he asked.

“No, don’t worry about it,” King Mickey replied. “What are you all doing here, it’s in the middle of the night!”

“A member of the New Generation was here,” Sora explained. “Goofy was the one who saw him, maybe he should explain it to you.”

So, for the third time, Goofy went through what had happened. King Mickey seemed shocked and concerned, hanging on every word Goofy said.

“… So we came here, to find you,” Goofy finished. “Sora thinks that they’re out to get revenge.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “I just don’t understand why they’re taking this out on Riku and Kairi.” He saw the King smiling. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s obvious, Sora,” the King said. “They obviously know how much they mean to you. They know you’d come running if they were ever in any kind of danger. They must be using Riku as some kind of lure.” Sora nodded. It made sense now.

“And they want Kairi as a lure too,” he nodded. “But what do they want to lure me for?”

The King heaved his shoulders.

“I’m not sure,” he sighed. “Maybe revenge, like you said. I’m not sure though, to be honest, I have no idea.” Forgotten in the corner, Kairi thought carefully. Maybe that was it.

“They need you for something…” she whispered. Everyone turned around. They’d forgotten she was even there. She spoke again.

“Sora, they need you,” she repeated. “Think about it. They don’t want him dead.”

“What makes you say that?” Donald quacked, sceptical of her idea. “They’re luring Sora to them, can’t you see it’s a trap?”

“Well, kinda,” she went on. “That guy was from the New Generation, right?” They all nodded. “And he was only looking for me, they didn’t want to know where Sora was.” They all screwed up their faces. Her idea sounded crazy. “Well… he could have killed Sora there and then. He said he knew Sora was here, but he didn’t go after him.” The King’s expression was less tense.

“You’re right,” he said. “It makes sense. Instead of looking for Sora, he was looking for you. He’d have just gone ahead after Sora if it was about revenge. I think something else is going on. Donald, I think you’re right about it being a trap, too. Riku is the bait, and Kairi will be too if they get their hands on her. They’re using Kairi and Riku to get to you, Sora. They need you for something.”

The room was silent, everyone lost in a quiet moment of realisation. Goofy broke the silence.

“What do you think they need Sora for?” he asked. If the theory was true, there must be a good reason.

“I don’t know,” King Mickey responded. “I think we need to get some sleep though, we’re going to need it. Tomorrow’s the big day. Kairi, I’m sure it’ll be fine for you and Sora to go back to your room. Just lock the doors and windows.” Sora nodded.

“Ok,” he said, turning away to face the door.

“I’ll sort out Goofy and Donald in a moment,” the King went on. “Sora, can I see you in private? It’ll only be a minute.” He blurted out. “Everyone, we need a moment alone.” Sora turned back around.

“Uh, yeah…” he said, confounded to as why the King wanted to see him. “I won’t be long, Kairi.”

She nodded, leaving the room with Donald and Goofy. The door closed shut, leaving Sora and King Mickey alone.


hope you guys like it :)

<3 <3
 

snowdog

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no problemo, the cookies are my way of saying thanks :)
well, i'm not sure about king mickey at the moment, you'll have to read the chappy first before you decide! i'm not entirely sure what you'll think of it, but here it is anyway!


Chapter Twenty-Five

"Here, sit down, Sora," the King said, pointing to a chair next to the bed. He seemed nervous and shaky. He waited for Sora to sit down, then continued. "Did you tell Kairi about our conversation this afternoon?" He questioned. "About the Keyblade?"

"Yeah," Sora confessed. He couldn't lie to his friend. "That's ok, isn't it?"

"Oh..." the King sighed heavily, massaged his wrinkled forehead. "It would have been."

"But... what?" Sora asked, a little suspicious.

"Well, it's just that.." King Mickey looked up at him. "I've done some re-thinking. I don't think she should be allowed to wield one." He then avoided Sora's eyes.

"What do you mean?" Sora was confused.

"For one thing," King Mickey explained, "the Keyblade must choose its master. It seemed very likely that a Keyblade would choose Kairi, but after today's events-"

"What about them?" slightly angered at how Kairi had been messed around, Sora interrupted the King.

"It's just that..." this seemed very difficult for the King, who was now shaking. "She shows a great deal of fear in these situations. She's showing signs of weakness."

"Fear? Weakness?" Sora still had no idea. "Your Majesty, in these situations, it's perfectly understandable! I mean, she was attacked by a Heartless!" Sora was defending Kairi as much as possible.

"I know, it's only natural." King Mickey seemed strained, his face was pale, and he was continually wiping his palms. "But I watched you help her fight that Heartless today. I know she fought back, which showed her strength, but after only a short time, she gave up. She gave in to her own fear. That can't be allowed to happen. Think about it. What would you do in that situation?"

"I'd fight it," Sora said quietly. "But I'd have a Keyblade."

"What if you didn't have it?" King Mickey was reinforcing his point.

"I'd still fight it," Sora repeated.

"See?" King Mickey went on. "You would never give in like that, regardless of wether you had a Keyblade or not. Even before you had a Keyblade, you'd fight, no matter how inexperienced or scared you were." He stopped, to let Sora think it all over. After a moment, his head in his hands, he responded.

"Her heart is strong and pure," he argued. "You could never deny that."

"I know," the King sighed. "She's someone special, her heart is good and kind. But she's too fearful. Her body language said it all when she was in here earlier. She was all hunched up in the corner, pale and shaky. I know it would have been a traumatic time for her, but I think she would need to be much braver." He put one hand on Sora's shoulder, his voice quivering. "I know this sounds mean, but the last thing I want is for Kairi's feelings to be hurt by all this. I just think that her fear would cloud the Keyblade's judgement of her heart, and I would hate for her to feel so rejected... so weak..." he trailed off, his voice quaked.

Sora looked up at King Mickey, his blue eyes seeming to pierce the King.

"How do you think she'll feel now?" he asked sarcastically, angered at the fact that Kairi was going to be hurt by this. He knew King Mickey was right, but he was frustrated at how she would feel.

"I know," King Mickey croaked, a genuine streak of sadness and regret in his voice. He truly did regret having to do this, he was clearly upset by what he had to do. "Believe me, if there was another way, I would find it, but... I don't think a Keyblade would choose her... I don't want her to be hurt, I know how much she means to you."

Sora did not respond, he just sat quietly, contemplating everything King Mickey had told him. He knew King Mickey was right. Kairi had been showing a lot of fear, and these situations, like being attacked, were only going to become more frequent and more violent from now. He'd accepted that this would affect the Keyblade's judgement of her. Deep down, he knew it may reject her. That would be horrible for her, he hated the fact that this would hurt her feelings. Sparing the young girl's feelings was the priority at this point. He looked up at King Mickey, whose head was hung. Clearly shaken, he was upset at what he'd had to do. Sora knew that King Mickey would only do something like this if there was no other way to resolve the situation.

"What do you think?" King Mickey asked quietly. The atmosphere was tense.

"You're right," Sora nodded. "I just don't want her to get hurt."

"I know," the King said. He sat on the edge of his bed.

"She had a dream before, too..." Sora mused.

"A dream?" King Mickey seemed intrigued, leaned towards Sora.

"Yeah," Sora nodded. "It sounded like some sort of vision." He then proceeded to tell King Mickey all that she'd seen. Donald. Goofy. King Mickey. Himself. The dark figure.

"That does sound like a vision..." King Mickey said thoughtfully. "I think you're right, the New Generation could be involved. I guess that accounts for part of her fear... but she can't let them intimidate her like that."

"Yeah," Sora spoke softly. He'd thought it all over. "I guess it's for the best in the long run... it spares her feelings. She was thinking of not coming before, she seemed terrified. Poor Kairi..." He avoided King Mickey's gaze. He felt terrible about it all. He wanted her feelings to stay intact, he didn't want to hurt her. King Mickey was right though. Although even she herself had doubts over wether a Keyblade would choose her, she would still feel hurt by it. She'd be completely devastated and humiliated if the Keyblade rejected her. At least this way, he could break it to her gently and spare her emotions. It was for the best. He stood up and readied himself to leave.

"Sora, please try to understand what I mean," the King begged. "I can't just let anyone have a Keyblade. The Keyblade chooses it's own master, not me. I'd hate for Kairi to feel rejected. Her fear is the only matter in the way of her being able to wield a Keyblade. Her heart is good and pure, Sora." This was King Mickey's last attempt at reassuring her. "I don't want her to be upset, Sora."

"I know," Sora nodded. "I better go. It's late, and Kairi's waiting." He bowed to King Mickey before leaving. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," the King replied quietly. Sora left the room, and Goofy and Donald returned to King Mickey. They saw the look of sadness on his face, and so thought it was best if they remained quiet.

King Mickey sat quietly for a few minutes. Thought it all over. He knew it was the right decision, the kindest thing to do in that situation. He still felt awful about it though. He hoped Kairi wouldn't take it personally. That would be terrible, and he felt guily enough already. Trying to take his mind off it, he turned to Donald and Goofy.

Meanwhile, Kairi and Sora had finished the long walk back to their room. Kairi climbed back into bed, exhausted by the eventful night. Sora was stood by the windows, looking out over the dark land, thinking over all King Mickey had said. Lost in his own world, he hadn't realised Kairi was calling to him. He jumped as she gently touched his hand.

"Come on," she smiled. "You'll need your rest for tomorrow."

Sora nodded as she led him back over to the bed. His bright blue eyes were dull now, ringed with a dark tint. He looked exhausted as he wearily climbed into bed next to her.

"Goodnight, Sora," she yawned, kissing his cheek softly.

"Sweet dreams," he replied quietly.

Within minutes, Kairi was fast asleep. Sora wasn't so tired. He lay awake, staring at the ceiling. Kairi breathing heavily next to him, blissfully unaware, he felt numb, unsure of how to feel. He thought of the New Generation. Why were they after him? He thought of Riku, missing him, worrying about him. Most of all, he thought of Kairi. He, too, knew it was the kindest option, and that it would spare some of her feelings.

"So why does doing the right thing feel so... wrong..." he thought to himself, lying awake. "What if this hurts her?" It had been hours since Kairi had drifted off to sleep. The night was lasting much longer than usual. He knew tomorrow was going to be busy, he knew he had to get some sleep, no matter how difficult it was going to be.

After a while, he'd drifted away, without knowing it. At least some sleep would rest his weary mind. It had been an exhausting night.


hope you like it, i'm not so sure about it myself... it's my personal least favourite chapter so far :confused:
i hope i described mickey well, i wanted certain emotions to be convyed through him andi don't know if it worked ^^; let me know what you think, wether it's good or bad!

<3 <3
 

dark_dutchman

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good chapter! i hope my fact of the keyblade didn't cause too much trouble. There's a lot of dialogue in it, so there isn't much to describe. You've described the emotions of the people in the dialogue and that's the most important thing.


Tnx for the praise of my fic:) . It get's a good piece of views, but only three people are posting:( .

With judgement day i mean the day when we get our reports and they say if you advance or not.
 

snowdog

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don't worry dd, i figured out a way to sort out the problem with the keyblade :) it took me a while to figure it out and put their emotions into words, i had serious writer's block while doing that chappy. i knew what i wanted them to say, i just wasn't sure of how to put it effectively ^^;
no problemo, your fic is great! oh, and i know how you feel, only you, l337 and sorasheart post here :) you're all great fans, which makes up for it, quality over quantity! ^-^

wow, l337, so many cookies! do you own a bakery?! ^-^


Chapter Twenty-Six

Muffled chirping filled the air. Filtered sunlight flooded the perfect white sheen of the room. Everything was still. Calm. Silent.

Sora stirred, took a heavy first breath. He stretched his tired legs. He then jumped back as he felt Kairi’s cold legs next to his. Sora had forgotten she was even there, she was so quiet when she was sleeping. In a state of disorientation, as always first thing in the morning, he looked around the room, rediscovering where he’d fallen asleep. Slowly, his senses were awakening. He turned his head to the side, saw Kairi yawning and stretching. She, too, was beginning to wake up. Blinking, and gazing up like a child taking its first look into the vast sky, she found Sora’s eyes. She stopped, then gave him a dozy smile. Sora smiled back, shifted onto his side, facing her. She leaned towards him, stretching, contorting her face. He pulled her closer. Wrapped in Sora’s arms, held close to his body, Kairi gazed up into his eyes.

“Good morning,” she spoke softly, reached up to kiss him. “How was your sleep?” She ruffled his already messy hair, displaced the spikes.

“Awful,” he sighed deeply, stroking her pale cheek. “I couldn’t sleep, and when I did get to sleep, it was disrupted. I couldn’t relax.”

“Aw, don’t worry,” Kairi whispered. She wasn’t sure if everyone else was awake yet. Then again, all of their rooms were far away. She could be shouting and they’d never hear a thing. “I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time to rest on the Gummi Ship.” Sora nodded, stretched again. He kissed her softly.

“I guess we better get up,” he sighed, reluctant to leave. “As much as I’d like to stay here with you.”

“I know,” she smiled. “I’m sure they’ll come looking for us soon, we should be -”

A knock at the door interrupted her. The door then flung open. Sora lifted his head, rested it on Kairi’s shoulder, facing the door. Donald and Goofy stood grinning in the doorway.

“Uh, we won’t stay,” grinned Donald, trying not to laugh at Sora’s reddening face. “The King is expecting you in the gardens. He needs to speak with you and Kairi.”

“Ok,” Sora was bright red, embarrassed by their timing.

“See you there," Goofy and Donald closed the door. Sora blushed even more as he heard their howls of laughter.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Almost an hour had passed. As usual, it looked like it would be another glorious day. The sun smiled down on the castle, sending radiant beams of light to brighten up the morning. The perfect blue sky was complimented with fluffy wisps of cloud. Kairi stepped out into the garden with Sora. They saw King Mickey waving at them from the lawn, along a stone path that led up to a beautiful white marble fountain. It gushed cool, clean water up into the air, then showering back down, adorning the ground with thousands of tiny diamonds. Sora took Kairi's hand and began to walk along the stone path.

The gardens were beautiful. They seemed hidden under the golden haze of the early sunlight. Vibrant flowers added splashes of colour to the green lawn, rockeries added landscaping. Perfectly trimmed hedges lined the outside of the lawn, the boundaries of the garden. Willow trees provided shade from the heat of the day. Happy insects buzzed around. Butterflies flitted from flower to flower. Little birds swooped through the sunbeams. The garden was calm, yet lively, all at the same time.

"Good morning," King Mickey greeted them. He seemed a little off, not his usual, over-cheery self. "I hope the rest of the night was more peaceful."

"Thanks," Sora responded politely. "I hope you had a good night too, we have a lot to get through today." He sat on the edge of the marble fountain. It was damp, but he didn't mind. The spray of the cool water was refreshing in the heat.

"We do," the King nodded. He then turned to face the castle again. He began muttering to himself. "I wonder where Donald and Goofy are, I sent them away a while ago..." He shook his head, then began talking to Sora and Kairi. He turned to face them again. "Anyway, I called you here because I need to talk to you both." His facial expression seemed to fade. In that instant, Sora knew immediately what he was about to say. Almost like a sixth sense. "Well..." he went on quietly. "Mostly you, Kairi."

"Me?" she said, puzzled.

"Yes," the King nodded slowly. "About the Keyblade."

"Oh, ok," Kairi knew what he was talking about now.

"Well..." the King sighed. His guilty feelings came flooding back. "We've given it all another thought, taking the events of last night into account." He hung his head, closed his eyes tightly. He hoped that would make it easier. "We've decided that it's best if you -"

"Don't have a Keyblade?" she interrupted, offering an ending to his sentence. The correct ending. It seemed like she knew what he was about to say. She effortlessly finished off his sentence.

"Well, yes," the King was a little shocked, but offered an explanation anyway. It was the least she deserved in his eyes. "We think that the Keyblade may not choose you, and that you'd feel rejected. We didn't want your feelings to be hurt. I really am sorry, Kairi."

"Don't be sorry," she said in her usual, cheerful tone. She seemed light-hearted, carefree, completely fine. "To be honest, I kinda... expected this."

"Really?" the King looked up slightly, stunned by what she'd said.

"Yeah," she confessed. "Sora had once told me that a Keyblade chooses its own master, and I figured that it wouldn't choose me, I get way too scared too easily."

"Well," King Mickey went on, "that was a reason. Probably the main reason. But, Kairi, there's one thing I want you to understand." He looked at her, straight in the eyes. "Your heart is strong enough. You're tough, pure, kind, loving, and good. You're worthy to wield a Keyblade. We just thought that your fear would cloud its judgement of you and you'd end up feeling rejected. We wanted to spare your feelings." He felt like an enormous weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He felt relieved that she hadn't taken it personally and felt hurt.

"Thank you," she smiled. "It really is ok though, I don't mind at all. I know I get really scared sometimes." Sora, who had watched it all, stood up from the fountain.

"I hate to interrupt," he said, "and it probably isn't the time, but how is Kairi going to be able to defend herself?"

"You'll see," King Mickey smiled for the first time that morning. It was evident from his expression that he was feeling his usual, cheery self again, relieved that she'd taken the news well. "Wait for Donald and Goofy to get back."


not sure what you guys were expecting from this chappy, i hope you all liked it though ^-^
let me know what you think!

<3 <3
 
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