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Mason Stark

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Rena has a problem again and needs a solution. :< Unfortunately, this has been ongoing for months now and, earlier, I was about to be driven to the edge. It hasn't been this bad before, so I'm running onto here for help.

My dad LOVES to complain. He loves to complain about how sick he feels. He loves to complain about stuff relating to his career. But the one thing he loves to complain about most? I'm not sure if I can say this or not, but I'm saying it anyways:

He loves to complain about money. My mom works full-time. He works part-time. My mom works to pay the bills and my dad works on paying those bills with that money. He loves to complain about how much each thing costs, blahblahblah. But today? It was horrible. My mom and I were coming back from a day of riding on roller coasters [Though it wasn't nearly as good as last time. xD;;] and my dad called. All I figured out from that phonecall was 'Not good.' and my mom said it: 'Your father's complaining about money again.' UGH. I was basically saying 'Oh againnnnnnnn. Stupid head. Dx *kicks dad*' in my mind. But, I just said that my mom needed to relax, because she never does and I feel horrible about it, yet she just said that she said that she needed a second job in a REALLY angry tone. Definitely not good at that point.

We got home, my mom and dad argued for a few minutes while I unloaded bags before my dad was basically saying 'Whatever' and storming off into his office. He didn't come back downstairs and my mom was even standing outside his office door. The conflict was about his own money that he earned. You see, my dad has a job just for his movies. Yes, my dad is a director. And, frankly, I HATE IT. I HATE IT SO DAMN MUCH AND I'M SO DAMN SICK OF IT. I had a GIANT rant right here, but I'm not including it so you won't be sitting there for two hours, reading a rant. Anyways, my dad's earning money for his movies and I figured it out before I asked my mom about it. But, because of this, this stupidstupid conflict came up. They were complaining about what was happening with my dad's paycheck. In my opinion, I think it should be to support us, not his stupid movies. I know he loves them, but we've been on this stupid rollercoaster for years now and I would like to get off. I don't want my mom to deal with it either. :\ You see, on this stupid ride, we've been kicked out of our house, parts of our house have been messed up/destroyed [Like... someone angrily slamming something into the wall, and fake blood in the carpet], my mom and dad almost got a divorce because of these movies, and, definitely not the worst thing, we've had to plan/do things around what he wanted along with staying up extremely early because of him. People were in our house until 7 in the morning one time, and I stayed up til seven. Same with my parents.

Now, here's my problem, now that I've described the situation and how crappy this is: I was about to tell my mom that I was going to punch my dad in the face for all this crap. I KNOW how much he complains about money; it's not a secret to me. I KNOW how upset my mom gets about this; she tells me sometimes 'Your father will kill us if we get that', like she did earlier. But, no one knows how much I HATE my dad for all the crap he does. I really do love my dad. He's my dad, I love him, but he's not my best friend and he's making my mom upset because of his crap; I will NOT stand for my mom being upset. But I'm about to crack. Three, two, or even one more strikes and I'm going to punch my dad in the face, kick him, or do otherwise along the lines of punching and kicking. He's making me sick, and I just want to give him a bloody nose and RUN. Run out the door, run to my room, just plain RUN. He has no idea about how much I hate him, but I'm going to crack and punch him in the face.

Is there any possible way to tell my dad that I'm SICK of this movie crap, I'm SICK of him upsetting my mom, I'm SICK of everything revolving around him, and I'm SICK of all the other crap he drags on us? I'm a really shy person and I don't talk to my dad very much at all [Very rarely, actually], so it's hard to tell him in words for me. Should I start talking to him more or should I just send him a letter so I don't have to face him? I'm also scared of him, to a point, and I hate it when he yells and rants very much; I was shaking when he was in an incredibly foul mood once and was yelling at me to do something when I had school work to do. So, yup, this is a bit difficult.

Could someone give me some advice on this situation? I greatly appeciate anything and EVERYTHING you give to me. [And, don't you love long threads? xD;; At least I'm telling you everything in detail. :<]
 

tetraalmasy

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sorry I really can't help. I can't understand how you feel... but if you would like to talk about anything I'll listen...er...read so PM me if you ever want to.
I'm sorry that your dad complains like that but guys are drama queens, I think you should humor him.

your dad's a director? that's kind of nice (tell him to make a KH movie) I'm just kidding.
i'm probably making you feel worse. I'm not very good with situations like this but I would very much like to help.

If I were you I'd just gradually start talking to him.
Like "How was your day?" every day
and every day you see him you say "Hi Dad, I love you"
soon enough I think you'll get somewhere.

I hope everything will turn out okay. You seem really close to your mom, and I think she needs you a lot just as your dad needs you too.

Good Luck
 

Electropop

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I can see why your upset Rena. =/

This was a big thing while my parents split. I always felt bad when I bought some Ice-Cream for a buck, thinking they could use it. I never really spend money unless I really need it. I get my own clothes, Food, and even shoes. My Mum and I fight alot, and she complains about everthing. Money NOW is not a big deal, my Mum is Legaly Blind. My dad has a really bad heart and cant work.

So From both states they live in I get over 1000 bucks per month. My Mum and Step Dad Love to spend my money.

So I work. xD

But Rena, Talk with your dad! Tell him How you feel. Dont feel scared! It wont do you any good. You will start to get uncomfortable if you avoide your Father. So talk. Go up to him and tell him you want to talk with somethings. He might yell at you, But you need to control your anger. Tell him. Tell him "Let me explain and please dont intruput." Then tell him whats on your mind. If you do he might even give you some Respect about your feelings.

I hope it works for you Sweetheart.

Im always here to listen to you when ever you need it.

Rachelle.
 

Lycanthrope

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Our dads are very much alike, Rena. My dad complains about everything.

Anyway, I'm thinking up ways to help. I'll let you know if I come up with something.
 

Deeman

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I completely agree with sorasheart281. As hard as it may be, you must summon up the courage to face your father and consult him. Like you said, he is your father. What are fathers and mothers for? They're there to help and protect you. It seems your dad is overreacting, but if you were to consult him and tell him your feelings, I know for a fact he would understand and soften up. Tell him how concerned you are for your family's relationship and how much you want things to work. If he's your father, he'll show love and compassion, not anger and hate. As bad as it may seem, your parents are always there to help. They care and want the best for you. Certainly right now is not the "best", so you need to let him know that.
 

Duality

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I agree with the others. Face your father, and tell him straight up how you feel and why. Otherwise, this tension will build up to something much worse, or will spill over onto someone who doesn't deserve it. I can empathize with your timidness. I am not going to judge your family and say the only option is to tell your father directly. Other options are (in no particular order):
(1) Write him a letter - not bad, also a good option since your English seems very good. Gives you time to think about what you have to say.
(2) Make a film of your own, explaining your problems with him - I don't know if this is feasible, but just a thought.
(3) Talk to your Mom about it - maybe she can provide some insight that we can't, but be careful as to how much you reveal. Leave out stuff concerning the deep hate. It might really hurt a mom to hear that from her child. But you know her better, so its your call.
(4) do NOT run away - this is not so much an option, but more so advice. I know you didn't mention running away, but at times of desperation, it seems like the best thing to do. If you do it, it'll ruin any courage you might have to confront this problem.

Those are some ideas I'm throwing around. If I can think of anything else, I'll post.

Best of luck. PM if you ever need to talk. I'm always ready to listen and help.
 

Mason Stark

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Pretty belated post, but still a reply. xD;; Thanks for all the help; I really appeciate it!

When the time comes [AKA when my dad yells at my mom again about money] again, then I'll be sending an email to my dad, rather than talking to him face to face. That seems to spark up some face to face conversation, anyways, but the only problem is what I'm going to say. When the time comes, though, I'll know what to say. And, also, the tension I had when I wrote this only pops up when my dad is a jerk, meaning I'll know what I want to say and I'll type it out or say it to his face. It's not so much that I'm getting the idea to run away, though. Conditions aren't NEARLY as bad as they were a few years ago when my mom and dad were considering a divorce; I think me crying nonstop when they told me and at random moments changed their minds a bit, actually...

I'll talk to my mom, too, and I might even made a video about everything. I just need a tripod first. But, I'm going with the email thing. Truth be told, I can't summon enough courage to go talk to someone face to face. Yes, I'm like a scared little puppy. I hate that so much. Dx But, an email'll spark up a face to face conversation, so I'll have to face it anyways. I did the email thing when I told my parents that I was a mod, and everything worked out fine, which I saw from my dad asking me all about it all day. xD;

...Wow. I can type. D:

Once again, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE HELP. If you have any other advice, feel free to post it up! I have no clue when I'm going to be sending this thing, but when I do, I'll post up all about it.
 

violent_anger

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i heard of something similar. a wife had a husband, and the husband was always complaining about his weak heart. she left a bunch of pamphlets about heart attacks laying around the house, and whenever he talked about his weak heart, she went to balance their checking account. he stopped complaining.

give you any ideas?
 

Duality

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Takushi Rena said:
I did the email thing when I told my parents that I was a mod, and everything worked out fine, which I saw from my dad asking me all about it all day.
It was that big a deal when you became a MOD? Why? Did you expect your parents to be upset or something?
 

Mason Stark

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No ideas on that one. xD; If I did something like that, though, I'd probably get punched. Well... maybe not punched, but probably yelled at. My dad would probably take something too seriously and I would just think it was a joke, or it would be completely backwards.

Actually, it wasn't a big deal, but my parents didn't know I was a mod. I told them in... I believe... February and I had been a mod since August. I freaked out, thought they would force me to quit, but told them anyways. They took it much better than I thought they would in my imaginative mind. xD;; So, yes, I thought my parents would be upset, but I had my dad asking if I got paid and asking me all these questions [Which was really neat] while I could talk to my mom about it. I also freaked out when I told my mom I had an art gallery and when she found out I had a website. Yeah, I'm kinda jumpy about online things. xD;;;
 

Aly-chan

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RENNYYY D8

I just think you need to take a minute, by yourself, in a quiet place; you need to think about the situation rather than thinking of your mom. If you want your mom to not be upset, don't show her the side of you that's upset because...she's upset. If she sees you like this, it will make her feel evem more upset....that make sense?

Talk to your dad about his complaining and what it is doing to your family

Don't go overboard and start yelling at your dad. Just tell him calmly and in a mature manner. If you were to spark up an agressive arguement, it would upset you both. (Mom and Reny)

Think, be calm, and don't worry so much about your mommy ;)

~Aly
 
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Aly-chan

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Who were you talking to again?

EDIT

No wait. What did her Mom try? :\
 

Aly-chan

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how passive and feminine. your mom has probably already tried that before, so unless you're better with words then her, that wont work.


I can see you posted probably; but how could you not know what you thought she did?

You clearly said she 'probably' did something. And I was just curious what you thought she did. Since you didn't post it. Because I was thinking you were relating to my post about the 'father & daughter talk'.

Let me rephrase my question: What did you think she had tried?

:\
 

Face My Fears

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I've dealt with family issues myself and let me tell you they are NOT pretty and normally painful to deal with but you just have to keep looking forward to the end product, so with that in my you have to intervene when they are complaining and tell them all your problems and concerns and think of ways to help things change and improve the situation and then impliment them or suggest them to your parents and make sure to let them know how you feel about the situation and how much it is hurting you. Hope that helps!
 
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