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Fanfiction ► Eyes On Me - A Roxiri AU

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New member
Dec 18, 2003
The Decagon @ Iacon, Cybertron
If you don't know what an AU is, it means Alternate Universe. You know, like high school stuff? If you don't know what a Roxiri is, I have nothing to say.

This fanfic comes in five parts. Here's #1...


1 – My Stupid Dilemma

Once upon a time, some people – whoever the hell they were – got together and wrote a book. Well, they didn’t exactly write it because if they did, I would have read it from cover to cover and wrote notes in the tiny margins around each page. Because I really need that book. I know I do. You don’t believe me? Well, here’s my dilemma:

My best friend is a girl. Yes, it’s a she. What, I’m not allowed to have a best friend who’s…well, not a guy? You people are so lame. But yes, my best friend is a girl, the most awesome girl I’ve ever met, ever known, ever been in the presence of, and a billion other ways of saying that she’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met.

Yes, she’s amazing. She’s so smart, so clever, so just damn cheerful. She’s the world’s best optimist I’ve ever laid eyes upon. She’s sarcastic and mean, too...in a nice way, of course. You should see her lay it on Riku whenever he comes over with my cousin Orette. Always wondering if wind can talk whenever he tries to say something to her.

In short, she’s the most amazing person ever. How many times have I said that anyways?

So, you see the dilemma? I hope you do. Because…well…I don’t like talking about this. It’s just weird…like…I don’t know. How could I…oh what am I saying?

Okay, fine. I’ll say it.

I…I like her. Well, no, I don’t like her. I love her.

See what I mean? I love her. I mean, I just…love her. It’s not that she’s pretty, although she is beautiful. It’s just…her, something about her that makes me so…so happy. And I’m not really the happy sort. No, I left all that up to my twin brother. Yeah, I have a twin brother. A really happy, charismatic, happy-go-lucky twin brother.

He’s her boyfriend.

There, there’s my dilemma. See why I need that book that was never written?

What, you still don’t know what the book is? Well, it’s more of an oral thing, handed down generation by generation. It’s about love.

You don’t fall in love with your best friend.

And you definitely don’t have the hots for you brother’s girlfriend.

And why’s that?

If something goes wrong, there goes your best friend. If you steal your brother’s girlfriend, he’ll hate you forever. And since you live under the same roof…well you’ll end up losing the girl anyways.

But what am I saying? Hell, my brother’s already broken a rule!

See, I was going out with this one awesome girl. Name’s Naminé. She’s like the most amazing artist, painting the craziest things and stuff like that. She’s a sweet girl, quiet and calm and kind. I was so in love with her and I thought I was in heaven every single day.

And then one day I was at the mall looking for something to give to her for Christmas. Yeah, totally cliché, isn’t it? You go looking for a Christmas gift to give to your girlfriend and then you see her hanging around your brother in a way you can’t exactly explain without getting all flushed and pissed off. I mean, what the hell was Sora doing?! He’s been going out with Kairi for like ages and there he was at the mall wandering around with Naminé, his arm around her shoulder. They seemed to think they were the ones going out.

Naturally I followed them. Brilliant, aren’t I? Well, I did manage to not get caught for the next three or so hours since it was near Christmas and the mall was jam-packed full of every type of person imaginable, from the little annoying toddlers screaming in the toy stores to the old great-great-great-great-great grandfather-looking old man who’s taking ten minutes to decide whether to go up the escalator or not. And then there were those really, really, really annoying pre-teen, teen, and older-than-teen-but-not-quite-too-old girls who just really, really, really get on my nerves.

How so? Well I know so, especially since like half the school thinks I’m…er…hot. I give my brother the credit for making us the hottest twins at school but I don’t quite appreciate it, especially when all the ‘little’ high school people – especially those damn freshmen girls - goggle at me like I’m the rediscovered eighth wonder of the world. That is just so damn annoying!

So there I was, tagging along several feet behind Sora and Naminé, ducking around people and getting smacked in the face with their shopping bags, while every other foot some gaggle of middle school, high school, or college girls point at me and giggle amongst themselves. That got me thinking that I must be looking like an idiot, trying to act all stealthy and not get smacked in the balls by some old lady’s handbag while stalking my brother and my girlfriend.

Well here’s how to look like an idiot: You run into the Mercedes-Benz sitting in the middle of the friggin’ mall, waiting for some random dolt to go write his name on a piece of paper and hope he wins the lottery and take the damn car home. I mean, who the friggin’ hell parks a friggin’ car in the middle of the mall?

Yeah, I ran into the silver car. It hurt really bad. And it was really embarrassing. I was amazed Sora didn’t notice the commotion. Naminé did, I think, but I don’t think she knew who the idiot was who ran into the car sitting in the middle of the mall. I mean, who could miss that?

Besides me, of course.

But anyways, I got myself together and stood up behind the car only to see, all the way across the mall from me, Sora giving Naminé a quick kiss on the lips. The lips! What? Since when was my girlfriend having an affair with my brother? I just stood there, gaping, a huge bruise spreading on my forehead, while the two went their separate ways. And then there were people bustling around me, asking me if I was alright.

And then there were those girls giggling amongst themselves and pointing at me. And those little middle school jerks who are now attempting to imitate my spectacular Walk into the Benz move on store windows. And people around me in general snorting into their sleeves and hands and each other’s shoulders.

Do they really think that’s funny? I mean, they’re laughing over my walking into a parked car and I’m getting all mad over some affair Naminé’s having behind my back.

And then it got worse. How so? She broke up with me on Christmas Eve. Oh yeah. And in the worst way possible, too. See I was out that day helping Kairi with her last-minute shopping and I come home on my speed bike and I see this little package sitting on the doorstep of my house. Yes, Curious Me wanted to peek inside while the Paranoid Me kept nagging me about anthrax and ricin and all the great poisonous stuff random psychos keep sending to people in envelopes. Well anyways I opened the package at the doorstep and it was, of all things, the little black ring I gave to Naminé.

I think that says enough.

I know Naminé probably broke up with me because of Sora but I still don’t know what Sora thinks because well, he is going out with Kairi and he did split me and Naminé up. Yeah, that asshole. He’s been wondering why I’ve been acting like a jackass around him but I don’t need to say anything. I know enough.

But still…what is he going to do to Kairi? Why doesn’t he just break up with her? I mean…is a kiss worth breaking up over? Is a quick kiss signifying love? Ah hell, let’s throw this question into the pot.

What is true love?

I think I’m confusing myself.

“Hey Roxas, what do you think of this?”

I looked up and there was auburn-haired Kairi, standing right in front of me wearing a black spaghetti-strap tank top with a big shiny silver star shimmering in the middle of her…er…chest. She was also wearing a pair of low-riding jeans and a black belt with a star buckle to finish it all off. Oh yeah, and her sandals. And everything except her sandals had tags hanging off of them. And those damn little security button things. Ever worn something where the little security button rides up were you really don’t want it to?

Yeah, we’re shopping. What, you’ve never heard of a guy shopping? Oh get lost.

“I think it looks great,” I tell her with a smile. She knows I can never say “No Kairi, it doesn’t look good on you” but she also knows when I really mean it. And really, I meant it.

“You think so?”

“Kairi, since when did you not trust me?” I asked patiently. I leaned back against the wall I was sitting against and folded my arms. “That really hurt.”

Kairi only laughed. Her laughter was…okay, I won’t wax poetic but it was, to me, on par with one of my favorite songs, Simple and Clean-or the original Japanese version, Hikari. I don’t think I could ever get tired of her or the songs. And that makes me pathetic.

“Oh come on, Roxas,” she said. “You know I don’t mean it.”

“Oh? And how would I know that?” I perfectly executed a raised eyebrow at her. She said I looked like the Rock when I did that. I thought I looked like…well…a skeptical, cynical guy.

“Because we’ve gone through the same thing every time we go shopping for the past…oh, I don’t know, thirteen years?”

My eyebrow really shot up. “I went shopping with you when we were in kindergarten? That’s hard to believe.”

She only scoffed and shoved me playfully on the shoulder. “You literal you. No wonder half the class hates you whenever we have debates.”

Kairi may look like the most delicate person on the face of the Earth – although I cannot say the same because of Naminé – but when she wants to, she can be really strong. And yeah, my shoulder hurts. Just to let you know.

Why am I explaining everything? I feel like I’m talking to myself. Great, am I going crazy or something?

“…hello, earth to Roxas, wakey wakey,” Kairi called out, waving her hands in front of me. Whoa, since when did her hands start waving around in front of my face?

“Hey, I’m awake, I’m awake,” I assured her. “No go away and show me the next set you’ve got waiting.”

She backed off. “This is my last set. But since you don’t want me around you, I might as well just go-”

“Hey, I was just kidding!”

Kairi turned to go back to the dressing room. “I know.”

I just hate it when I space out like that. Man, what’s wrong with me? Wait, let me rephrase that: Man, what’s been wrong with me?

While Sora’s been gifted with the uncanny ability to pull off the stupidest pranks and stunts off and not kill himself – he actually jumped off the rooftop of our middle school hallway and he would not have broken his foot nor gotten suspended if he didn’t time it so he could jump on our principal in the process – I have this really weird ability to just space out. You know, like this: You talk to me and I won’t even know you’re there. Hence, the saying “Was that the wind talking?”

I actually said that once to Kairi. I only found out a slap and five minutes afterwards that she was the one talking to me. It took me a bouquet of her favorite flowers – I only know they look like little white stars, never mind their real name – and a night out at her favorite restaurant to make up to her.

Yeah, I’m actually quite willing to spend my money for her happiness. Isn’t that what best friends do for each other? She was the one who helped me pay for my speed bike in the first place. And she got me the helmet, too. Ah hell we paid half of what the other owned, practically. That’s how close we are.

But you know, it’s just not the same anymore. That’s the problem. I don’t know, it’s just that…I feel weird. I feel so weird…around her. Around Kairi. Like an oaf. Like I’m high on LSD, although I swear I never tried the real thing. Like I just had some laughing gas. Like someone set me on fire. Like I want to run a billion miles. Like I already ran a billion miles. Like ten other different ways of describing how awkward I suddenly feel around her.

I have no idea what’s wrong with me. And that is scaring the shit out of me.


need i say more? ^.^


killjoy princess
Aug 16, 2005
.__. No you don't but you need to update soon! *subscribes* >_> remember...SUNDAY. xD

Angel Shards

I would kill for you <3
Dec 13, 2004
Under your bed
ZOMG SHIROZORA -tacklehuggleglomps- 'Tis AS _angel shards) from LJ XD

You know I love the chapter ;) Excellent detail -is jealous- lolz ^_^ me likes


May 1, 2005
Wonderland. We're all mad here! :D
zOMg. I HATE Roxiri, and yet, here I am. Reading. And laughing. And nearly falling off my chair.

Stupid Sora. Die. *throws rocks at him*

*huggles Roxas plushie* Awesome first chappy, Shiro! <333


killjoy princess
Aug 16, 2005
.___. You hate it, yet Shirozora and I love it. xD



New member
Dec 18, 2003
The Decagon @ Iacon, Cybertron
If i get caught online, i'd be dead....but here's the next chapter...

Oh and mind the language. Sorry for its usage but that's real life for you. ;)


2 – Senioritis to the Prom-th Power

Spring. Spring is good, spring is great, spring I wish I could really appreciate.
Why do people like springtime anyways? I mean, all we get is rain and national tests and rejection – and acceptance letters, of course – letters from universities and senioritis and prom. Prom!

Let me make this very, very clear: I don’t dance. Period. I don’t care if it’s the high school senior prom or some gala ball where I get to meet the leaders of every nation on the goddamn planet. I don’t dance.

And what’s senioritis? It’s a contagious disease that reeks in every senior classroom and through every hall, especially during the second semester. In short, seniors slack off and start failing their classes because they think that they’re over with school and yippee, they’re off to some barnstorming tour in Europe or something great, only to come home and find out their university of choice rejected them because of some damn ‘C’ on their last report card.

Oh yeah, what a result for slacking off, eh?

To get to the point, it was spring.

Yeah. I hate spring. I mean, rain is nice but not so nice when it makes the streets really wet and you’re streaking around town on a speed bike with only a plastic helmet on your head to save you if your bike slips and you skid into some tanker trying to make it to the other side under a yellow light. I actually saw it happen to some poor bloke who, I later heard, lost his arm because of the accident. Something about bones crushed beyond recognition.

Luckily I don’t go around at a hundred miles per hour not wearing a helmet through one of the busiest streets in the city. See, I’m not that bloke. I’m a straight A-student who’s not stupid enough to do something like that. Well, Sora probably would but that’s his problem, not mine.

Oh yeah, and that reminds me.

I hate school. Period that, too.


“Roxas, did you finish answering all the questions on Mr. Lin’s handout? You gotta help me, man! I fell asleep over the stupid packet last night, it was so ****ing boring I could’ve died!”

I sighed. Oh no, not again…

“If I told you I didn’t do the homework, what would you do, Axel?” I asked my other best friend as I turned around. Good ol’ Axel, the punker kid with a penchant for not doing his homework. His excuse? Something about his beauty sleep being interrupted by homework. I laughed so hard when he told our ninth grade literature teacher that both of us got kicked out. Weird way to start a friendship but still, the best things don’t always happen in usual ways.
Of course that leads to one asking for the definition of ‘usual’ but we won’t go there. Why am I referring to myself as ‘we’?

“I’d freak out, of course,” Axel said with a smile. He ran a hair through his red hair. “And then I’ll have to go pester your girlfriend for the homework-”

“For the last time, she’s not my girlfriend. Geezes, Axel, you’re just as bad as any one of them!” I said, waving my arm in the general direction of our high school as I tried to remember my locker combination and talk at the same time. For the record, it’s not the best thing to do. Numbers and words don’t go together. Period.

“Roxas, Roxas, listen. I know you’re still in denial but-”

Yes, the locker opened! Time to pay more attention to what I need for the day than Axel’s daily lecture about my behavior around Kairi for the past thirteen or so years. I can’t believe he thinks I have like the hots for her. She’s my brother’s girlfriend, for crying out loud!

“Yeah, I know,” Axel said, rolling his eyes, “but you have to wake up, man. The way you act around her is anything but being a friend.”

“Proof, Axel? You haven’t gotten any because I don’t do anything to make it look like I like her because I don’t like her.”

“Hm…do you even realize how close you sit to her? And how you always smile whenever she’s around? And how you actually laugh when she’s there? And how you don’t act like your calm, serious, depressed self when she’s around in general? Sometimes you are just so busy talking to her that you piss your brother off. And she’s the one who always has to tell you that I want your attention or something. Being around her is like you’re off in another world.”

I stopped tossing stuff into my shitty brown locker and looked at him. I heard nothing until that last sentence. Whatever he was saying was mumbo-jumbo but me being in another world around her? My feet are planted squarely on planet Earth unless I’m on a plane and I’m not on a plane right now, am I?

“So…” Axel’s little smirk again, “am I right or am I right?”

“You are wrong and you are wrong,” I said and slammed the locker shut. “C’mon, let’s get to class.”

“Oh yeah, and another thing,” Axel began as we started for the stairs to the second floor of the building we were in, “you always sit next to her.”

“Oh? And what about you and Larxene? You always sit next to her.”

“Oh please, brother! She’s the one sitting next to me. Can’t resist my charms, if ya know what I mean.”

He winked at me. I only sighed. Typical of Axel. “Then I might as well move away, if only to resist your so-called ‘charms’…”

Just to annoy Axel, I ran.

Note to self: don’t run through a school hall before school. It’s not that you’ll accidentally run into someone’s open locker. Nobody’s that stupid. Honestly, the stuff that happens in those stupid high school chick flicks are just full of shit. I mean it. We high school students aren’t stupid enough to run into lockers. We’re stupid enough to run into people.

After all, I am the one who ran into the Mercedes-never mind. Let’s not go there.

So there I was, running down the hall, dodging people and lockers while Axel’s yelling something awful behind me. I couldn’t tell if he was getting closer or if I was losing him, so I just ran like hell. I went through one hall, out the double doors, and over the concrete walkway to the neighboring school building. There were fewer people in the hall so I just ran, looking back constantly to see if Axel was even trying to chase me now-

Pain. Really intense pain. The next thing I knew I was falling. I closed my eyes tightly and cursed while my world spun in circles. I was aching all over; these tiled floors are quite unforgiving to idiots like me who run wild through halls only to run into a fellow student. That and I banged my head against the wall. My ears were ringing. My brain was pounding against my skull. It hurt. It was horrible.

Cross off horrible. That was a major understatement.

“Roxas? Roxas, are you alright?”

…that was…Kairi?

Something soft and warm and cool touched my face. I shivered slightly as I opened my eyes and found myself staring at a pair of purplish-blue Converse. Then slowly I turned my head slightly to look up. It was Kairi. She was crouching down next to my head, her eyes brimming with worry. I…I had never seen her look like that. That look on her face, the way her expressive blue eyes watched me, it was…strange. I shivered again but I couldn’t look away. I couldn’t.

“What…” Was that my voice? It sounded so distant. “What happened?”

“You uh…” Kairi turned her head to look somewhere in the direction of where my feet must be. I kept…staring at her. Kairi in profile. I never really noticed the curves in her face before. It was…fascinating. “You ran into Naminé, if you really want to know-”

Shit. Of all the luck in the world, couldn’t some of it at least go my way? Why did I have to run into my ex-girlfriend in the first place? Who up in the high heavens thought it was great fun to position her so that I could run right into her while trying to get away from Axel? And have Kairi right there seeing the whole spectacle made everything worse. O ye cruel, cruel gods…. I closed my eyes tightly and curled up like one of those fetuses you see in those biology books. I didn’t want to know, I didn’t want to deal with the world right now. Just go away, please, go away and let me drown in my humiliation and misery. If only I didn’t decide to prank Axel and his stupid ‘charms’. Damn me and my stupidity, damn me and my horrible, horrible luck, damn me and my goddamn ****ed up life-

“Roxas, are you alright?” Someone was fingering my bangs, brushing them over my forehead. Another chill up my spine. Something was pounding in my ears. Something other than the sickening sound of impact, which was already fading away.

Am I alright? Of course I’m not alright! How the hell could I be alright, when I acted like a complete and utter fool running down a school hall, crashed into my ex-girlfriend, and have the whole spectacle witnessed by my best friend? But then again…why should I be embarrassed in front of my best friend? What was there to fret about? I had my share of moments; it must be a thing that runs in our family. Not that I won’t go there. But everyone knows us twins were always getting into things, be it Sora’s chalk fight in the eighth grade or me falling down a flight of stairs and landing at the feet of our high school principal and the superintendent of all the schools in our district. You know, like the CEO of every school within a five-mile radius.

But why was I feeling so embarrassed? If it was just regular people, even a teacher or two, I’d just get up and mutter something evil while hobbling away. But here I was, trying to hide inside myself while Kairi was…what was she doing?

“Whoa, what happened here?”

That was definitely Axel’s voice. He had finally caught up to us. And then…


“I thought he outgrew first grade,” she was saying. “Apparently he needs to go back to elementary school and relearn his manners. The nerve of him.”

Naminé, how could you say something like that? What happened to the sweet, gentle girl I used to know? What the hell’s going on? What did I do? What did Sora do?

“Hey.” Kairi. Her voice had a harsh, defensive edge to it, a tone I never heard her use before. She was mad. “I don’t want you saying that around him. Go away, Naminé. You’re bothering him.”

She was still touching my hair. It was the weirdest feeling. I felt all cold and hot, and relaxed and tense, and every other contradictory duo of words that existed in the English language.

“Fine,” I heard Naminé say. “Have it your way.”

I heard distancing footsteps. But my ears were ringing with her words. The tone in her voice…I didn’t like it, period. Was she up to something? Wait, was this Naminé? This girl, my ex-girlfriend, she was a stranger. A complete stranger. Did we even date or was I just dreaming about her? Maybe I was dreaming about her. Damn these rose-colored glasses people always talk about. I see nothing rosy about her now. Or hear her at least.

“Something’s definitely weird about her,” I heard Axel declare. “Hey, shoo, go away. Enough sightseeing! Haven’t you your own high school dramas to deal with, huh, huh? **** off!”

“Axel,” Kairi began warningly but he interrupted her. “As I was saying, there’s something definitely weird about her. Something very, very weird. Was she ever like that, Roxas? Hey, Roxy, you hear me? Hello?”

No, go away, just leave me alone. It hurts. My whole body hurts and my head hurts and I just want to go home and forget everything and…

“My head hurts,” I found myself whispering, then bit my tongue. Great, now I sound like one of those whiny little first graders. I didn’t say that, I swear…

“Well serves you right running down the hall like that,” Kairi said smartly. “You banged your head against the lockers falling over Naminé. Lesson one: Unless you want to fracture your skull, don’t run like a drunk driver down a school hall, okay?”

“I don’t drink,” I muttered. My head was really swimming. Things were going in and out of focus and Kairi had four eyes. That…really didn’t look right. And what was that big red fuzzball off in the distance? I blinked and everything focused for a moment before everything dislocated but I knew that was Axel. Axel a big red fuzzball? That was…weird.

“No, Roxas,” she sighed. “I told you you were too literal. Are you feeling alright, Roxas?”

She kept touching my hair. Why? She…she never touched my hair like this. Not ever. She did ruffle my hair every now and then, because I often did that to her, but the soft strokes, the brushing aside of my bangs, her cool fingertips, it was all surreal, all just weird.


The voices were fading. The hammer in my head was drowning everything out. That was all I could hear now. My eardrums were pounding with the hammer.

And then I just closed my eyes.


“Okay, fine, if you don’t like her then she likes you. Happy? I’m happy.”

“Axel, just shut up. I don’t want to deal.”

Today could be the crappiest day of my life. That whole escapade knocked me out cold for most of the school day, I found out later. And Axel managed to concoct some excuse to sit with me in the nurse’s office and skip Mr. Lin’s class. First-class genius, I swear. He almost got kicked out like every hour by the nurse for fiddling around with her equipment and scaring the ‘wittle kiddy widdies’ who visited her office with complaints of stomach pain and headaches and coughs and etc. And no nose could stand the nurse’s office. I swear the place reeked of rubbing alcohol and old woman’s smell. And the thin cotton blanket…I don’t even want to know what it’s gone through.

But that wasn’t it. Because I woke up with Axel and Kairi practically hovering over me. That scared the bejeesus out of me and I sat up and I yelled and then they yelled and then some other kid in the room with a sprained ankle yelled and then the nurse assistant yelled and then half the main office freaked out and…we got an hour-long lecture about our rude conduct in the main offices, especially us three seniors. It was horrible; my head was still pounding away and then our old nurse was yapping in her high voice and Axel kept elbowing me. I don’t know why in hell he decided to do that but I finally decided to pinch him in the side. Hard.

Thirty minutes’ worth of more lecturing later we were free. School was over.

And then it was sprinkling and then…not sprinkling. Okay, the weather’s got bipolar disorder. Oh look, it’s sunny-no wait, not sunny. And there was my brother and oh look he’s mad. He’s standing there with our friends and he’s clearly not a happy camper, sunshine or no.

And since when did Sora need to stick some tracking device – GPS to be specific - on his girlfriend? The first thing he demanded was where she was and she told him point-blank that she’s been with me because I banged myself up earlier in the school day. Then it dawned on me.

Kairi, one of the top seniors in our high school, didn’t go to class at all? Oh my god, was the whole friggin’ world turning upside down? Someone tell me when the gravity’s going to be switched off.

And there I was, spacing out and away while Riku and Tidus and Axel and Selphie and Wakka and Yuna and Aerith and Hayner and Orette and the rest of our pretty big group of friends tried to mediate some growing argument between my brother and my best friend. And once I came back down to Earth, they were nearly at blows.

“…didn’t see you the whole day, you have any idea how scared I was? You never missed a day of school before so why the change?”

“Unless my eyes and my ears deceive me, you don’t care whether or not your brother gets run over by a damn tanker! At least I care whether or not your brother faints in the middle of the school hall!”

“I wasn’t there! How was I supposed to know?”

“Grow up, Sora. If this is how you treat Roxas, I’d really like to know how you really want to treat your girlfriend and the rest of our friends.”

Then she turned and walked towards me, grabbed my arm, and literally dragged me away. I didn’t even bother to fight; my head was still pounding and I was just so damn sick and tired of today. Rain didn’t help lighten my mood either. Some people would sing when it rains…or rained, in this case. I pout. Or so people say. I mean, I frown, but people say I pout. What’s the difference anyways?

Why am I thinking this? My best friend just had a huge verbal fight with my brother and I’m worried about how I frown? Where the hell are my priorities?

In any case Kairi let me go after a while, after school had long since disappeared, but she didn’t talk. And so we were rather silent as we walked to her house. I kept looking at her, wanting to see the look on her face and wanting to read her mind to figure out what she’s thinking, but she had her head bowed so I couldn’t see anything past her bangs. And so I decided not to talk. When Kairi get’s that way, even one squeak would result in a verbal lashing from her.

After I dropped her off, I walked all the way back to school just to get my speed bike. Brilliant, aren’t I?

Axel was waiting for me there. And that’s where we had that stupid conversation. Or should I say ‘having’?

“No, seriously, the way she was at it, it was like she likes you, you know?”
Axel was saying. He was dancing around my bike, obviously trying to keep me from getting away.

“Axel, we’re best friends. How can she not like me?”

He stopped dancing. Finally. “She’s right. You are literal.”

“And your point is?”

“I’m not talking about that sort of ‘like’. I’m talking about love like. As in she likes you as in she loves you.”

“Uh yeah, can’t best friends love each other?”

“Depends. Are you talking about friend love or love-love?”

O gods, I really didn’t want to deal with this. I twitched the key and the engine rumbled to life. “Look, Axel, I really don’t want to talk about this, okay?”

“My friend-” Oh no. “-we do need to talk about this. I should have seen it years ago. All the signs were there and yet my eyes deceived me again and again and again-”

“Maybe because you were too busy looking at Larxene’s ass-”

“Shut up. We’re talking about you, not me. And I don’t look at Larxene’s ass. I like her face.”

“Or her breasts,” I snorted as I pulled out my helmet. It was a nice dark metallic blue. Very pretty. Very, very pretty. Kinda like Kairi’s eyes when she gets upset. I hate it when she gets upset but at the same time…I like it. O damn it!

“Tsk, tsk, you think all men are alike. How very sad, coming from someone like you.”

“Yeah, I’m secretly a girl,” I retorted sarcastically as I shoved the helmet on. Bad move. My head was still sore. And that really hurt. “Ow! Why did I bang into the lockers in the first place…”

“So you’re planning a sex change or something? And remember, you were the one running away from me.”

“No, Axel, and you’re the one talking about your so-called ‘charms’.”

“Hey, I do have charms, compared to Mr. My-Heart-Got-Broken-By-A-Stonehearted-Bitch. Moping over Naminé breaking up with you on Christmas Eve-”

“I’m not moping!”

“Okay, then, explain your behavior.”

“What behavior?”

“Ever since last year you haven’t been the same, man. You did actually smile, unless you forgot. And out of the blue you get all defensive over nothing. I mean, what is going on, Roxas?”

I stared at him as I pulled on the visor of my helmet. Rose-colored glasses. UV protection-colored glasses. So many different ways of viewing the world.

And since when did I go and get all defensive over nothing? I have nothing to be offended against. Nothing offends me! So what was he talking about?
“Nothing. Nothing’s going on.”

“Yeah, well, that’s what you say. But now I know.”

“Oh do you?” I raised an eyebrow under my helmet as I inched the speed bike forward. “Hurry up. My engine’s overheating thanks to your useless talk.”

Axel had his mouth open to say something but shut it as soon as I said that. Oh my god, did I actually say that? Me calling my friend’s words crap? Useless? Worthless? A bunch of hot air? A waste of my time? Axel, I didn’t mean it, I swear!

His dark eyebrows were narrowed dangerously. I couldn’t tell what shade his eyes were but I knew they were darkening considerably. And there was that frown on his face. It really was an ugly frown, edging on a snarl. He always looked like a feral cat when he was this mad. And I really hated it when he was this mad.

“Useless?” he hissed. “Useless? Well I’ll give you useless, Roxas! I want you to wake up for once and understand what you’re feeling. Yeah, that’s right, what you’re feeling. Why? Let me say this again: you’re in love. You’re in love with your best friend and you’re so ****ing blind it’s disgusting! And I’m sick and tired of watching you do nothing, so damn tired of you ignoring your feelings because of whatever shit happened last year! When are you going to wake up for once and forget the past and realize all of this? When?!”

I stared at him. That was all I did. I just stared. What else could I do? He was so mad and he so deeply believed that I was in love with Kairi. He’s got to be joking, right?

“Axel, listen, I don’t-”

“No, Roxas, no. I don’t want you to answer. This is what Mr. Lin calls a rhetorical question, and I want you to go home and think on it for the next couple of days. Or weeks. Or months even. Maybe forever. I want you to go home and ask yourself: Am I in love? Because, Roxas, you act like you do.”


“Just shut up, you ****ing idiot! I told you, go home!”

And he just spun around on his heels and walked off. That was that. He just…walked off. And I just stared after him, the engine of my speed bike overheating, my mind just frozen and mashed up by…by…

Would verbal abuse count?

But I don’t love Kairi! I know I don’t! So what is he talking about? What is Axel-okay, forget it, I’m going home. If Axel wants me to, I’ll do it. I’ll go home and I’ll sit there and I’ll ask myself if I’m in love with my brother’s girlfriend.

Yeah. I’ll do that. And I’d better hope my brother doesn’t overhear me talking to myself out loud like I usually do.

He’d kill me.

But as I cruised down the rather empty streets towards home, I just had to think about what Axel said.

Am I in love? I’ve been in pain for so long since Naminé gave me back my black ring, which I now wear on the middle finger of my left hand. Been in pain for so long I can’t distinguish between emotions anymore. Been in pain for so long I bury myself in my friendships with Kairi and Axel and think that’s how my high school life will end.

And why Kairi? Why does he think I’m in love with my best friend? I mean, that’s just not right. We’ve known each other for so long, it’s kinda creepy thinking about it.

And then I just…I just remembered the way she kept touching my hair. That was so weird. I mean, firstly, I kept freaking out. And secondly, she’s never done that before. So…what does that mean? Does that mean anything at all?
And what about those other times? Wait, what other times? I mean, I’m always jumping whenever she puts a hand on my shoulder, and I’m always feeling like I’m high or something supposedly close to being high whenever she smiles at me. Yeah…whenever she smiles at me I feel like running miles around the school track.

What does that mean?

I’d better stop thinking about this until I get home. That’s the third red light I’ve ignored and that has got to be the fifth STOP sign I nearly ran into.


the one thing i like about KHI is that it respects fanfiction, not like KHU. just my say :cool:


killjoy princess
Aug 16, 2005
.___. OMG SHIRO! >_< you hurt our dearest Roxy! ;-; Sora, damn you asshole! Don't you care for your brother? Or are you too busy screwing Nami? >_>

OK....SLOW DOWN... .__. Nice update. Will review it on FFnet if you updated there too. ^^


Edit :

Ok, I reviewed with love. xD
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True Serenity

your forgotten memory
May 9, 2004
anywhere but here.
Awesome chapter! I really love this fic! ^_^

Poor Roxas though. He's going through some major problems. I can't wait to see what happens next!
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