ehhhhhh. freeverse

[Spic Steve]

I dunno lol.
I like the alliteration used later in the poem.
But that's me.
It's a little jumpy... so whatever.
---------------------------
P-p-p-pop
The pop that won’t stop
A pop that never flops
And stays strong
Gone baby gone
Death.
You can hear the person shut down
Taste the embalming fluid
See the decay
Feel the light dimming!
Doesn’t it just leave a lasting impression on you?
Doesn’t death just leave the sloppiest kiss on your lips?
Lick it up.
Embrace the soggy, stench-ridden smooch of unceasing suffering,
Because you certainly won’t be feeling it for a long time.
But I?
I kiss death daily.
A daily death is a deed well deserved.
A chore cherished casually.
Life.
Full of strife
I strive to float above the water,
But I continue to sink lower and lower
My air is getting heavier and heavier
Bubble
Bubble bubble
Like the Hubble it floats.
And bursts in the sky
I wish I could fly
The pope has made me lose hope.
Lies are abundant
Your cries
I despise.

 

[Nyangoro]

Well, looks like you took all (or at least some) of your pent up frustration and just let it spill onto the paper. I wouldn't call it the best poetry I've, but I can appreciate the passion.

Nice wording as well.

 

[Siren]

Would probably sound good as a rap.

 

[Rainfire]

Meh. This honestly does just look like a splattering of random thoughts. Reminds me of what I used to do back in Seventh and Eighth Grade... good times, good times...

Though it does kind of have a nice different rhythm to it... reminds me of something Stein or some other (High) Modernist would have written.

 

[Spic Steve]

It is just a splatter of shit.
I was kinda aiming for that.
I wanted a poem that was all over the place but kept a consistent rhythm.
But yeah, I think some of the ideas are too ehh.
Thanks.

 

[Massive Attack]

p-p-p-pussy.

 

[Spic Steve]

go suck americas cock britshit.