• Hello everybody! We have tons of new awards for the new year that can be requested through our Awards System thanks to Antifa Lockhart! Some are limited-time awards so go claim them before they are gone forever...

    CLICK HERE FOR AWARDS

Draconic Soul



REGISTER TO REMOVE ADS
Status
Not open for further replies.

Dragonstar1715

New member
Joined
Apr 13, 2007
Messages
900
Age
33
Location
In my own personal world
Website
dragonstar1715.deviantart.com
Okay peoples since I came up with a new name for this fic and haven't updated it in god knows when. I will repost my Costume story here. For any people of DeviantART who have seen Transryu's work, yes this is a fic I made based on it (rights and all that jazz included).

Costume Shop Setting and its chars is (c) Transryu of DA
Valant (c) of DaCoolGuy on DA
All other chars are (c) of me

Chapter One: Welcome to Sunrise Valley

My name is Draco Carvhall, and as stupid as it may seem for a 18 year old, I have had a fascination for dragons. I collected merchandise and even have one as a friend, but sometimes I feel like I want something more of my hobby. I had this dream of being able to become a dragon and know what it is like to be one, but it's not like that was even possible.

But maybe it was possible; maybe there is a way to make such wishes come true...

I was sitting on the clock tower, eating sea-salt ice cream as I stared off into the sunset. I clutched my dragon pendant, which I kept with me at all times. Even though I was getting to the age when most kids would be over such childish things, my obsession kept burning bright, as it has always been since I was 5. I always had a dream of becoming a dragon for as long as I had this obsession. Sure I had Dragoon my friend who is a dragon, believe it or not and the dragon merchandise which I bought on a regular basis. But... I somehow wanted more out of it.

I have one of the biggest collections of Dragon merchandise in the worlds of Kingdom Hearts. But even though that satisfied me to a point, I still felt empty somehow. But even with the advances of magic in recent times, none had made a way to make such a thing happen, becoming the creature of their wildest dreams.

Roxas came and sat down next to me with a sea-salt ice cream bar as well and said "Hey Draco, what's been happening?" in a cheery voice. I smiled and then sighed a bit. "Something wrong Draco?" Roxas asked in concern.

"Roxas, is it wrong for someone like me to wish that they could become a dragon?" I asked in a uneasy tone.

"Not really, but why?" Roxas replied.

"I don't know, I always seemed to have a dream of becoming a dragon, but such a dream seems so... I don't know, farfetched." I said to him.

"Well if you had the chance, would you?" Roxas inquired.

"Of course I would! It's a thing I've always wanted to experience for the last 12 years!" I exclaimed.

"Well... maybe a costume would work?" Roxas suggested.

"A costume? But I don't know any costume stores that sell those kind of costumes!" I said to him.

"I might know one guy..." Roxas said.

"You do? Who?" I said with some excitement.

"Well I know that Sora once went to this one world that is a city surrounded by mountainous regions and forest. Apparently there is a costume store there that make costumes of almost every variety, though it's usually done by special order.” Roxas explained.

"What's the world called?" I asked.

"Sunrise Valley, I think Sora should still have the coordinates." Roxas replied. Roxas quickly whipped out his phone and dialed Sora's number, "Hey Sora, I'm good, you? Listen, I was wondering if you could do me a favour. Draco wants to go to that Sunrise Valley world, you still got the co-ordinates in the ships memory? You do? Awesome, could you SMS them over? Thanks Sora, you're a pal, bye!" Within a few minutes, the phone chimed and Roxas checked the message bank, and as promised, Sora had sent the co-ordinates"

I pulled out a pen and paper that I liked to keep with me for sketching and scribbled down the co-ordinates from Roxas's phone. "Thanks Roxas." I said with glee.

"You're welcome, be sure to show me that costume when you come back." Roxas said as we began to eat our ice cream. The sun was setting and it was getting dark, so after saying our goodbyes, we went our separate ways home. I walked in the front door and gave my family a quick greeting before heading up the stairs. Rushing to my bag, which I usually took on trips, I began to load some things up, because knowing that most costumes done by special order usually took about 1-4 weeks to make.

As I packed, a familiar figure landed next to my window, it was my dragon friend Dragoon. I first met Dragoon at The World That Never Was, well more like battled. You see Dragoon was at some point, defeated and then possessed by half-hearts. Whilst on little training excursion there, I discovered him as he teemed with darkness due to the possession. I was able to rid him of the half-hearts and we quickly became close friends, he even let's me ride on him sometimes.

"Hey Draco, what are you doing?" Dragoon greeted me.

"Oh hi Dragoon, I'm packing some things." I replied.

"What for?" he asked.

"I heard of this world that has a costume store that can make Dragon costumes, and I was going to see if I could get myself one." I explained to him.

"Heh, you still have that obsession with my kind?" Dragoon said amused.

"I can probably assure that my obsession will stay with me till the day I die." I said with a laugh.

"So you're going away for a bit then?" Dragoon asked me.

"Yeah, since the costume I want will probably have to be done by special order, I might have to stay there for a bit." I said as I stuffed more clothes and other things in the bag.

"How you gonna have it made?" Dragoon asked me.

"Hmmm, Actually I was thinking of having it based off you." I said with some enthusiasm.

"ME?" Dragoon exclaimed.

"Sure, I've never seen a dragon with such colours as yours, I think it would be neat to have one that looks like you." I said with even more enthusiasm.

Packing the last item into my bag, I then picked up my digital camera. "I just want to get a picture of you, so the costume maker has a better idea of what I'm looking for in the costume." I said to Dragoon.

"Well, okay then." Dragoon replied.

Going out to a large open space I stood at a reasonable distance away so that I would have a full-size photo. "All right Dragoon, give me your best pose!" I shouted to him. Dragoon gave his most muscular pose he could, I laughed at this saying "Woah, look who's Mr. big macho dragon!" before taking several pictures from most sides to give the costume maker a better perspective.

"Well it’s getting late, so I should head back." I said as I examined the last photo.

"All right, have fun with your costume, give me a look at it when you get back!" Dragoon said before flying off. I headed for home and went to bed, I had dreams of me being a dragon and the feeling of what it was to be a dragon.

I woke up the next day and thought about the dreams I had the night before. Even though it was only a costume I was going to get made, I still felt that having it made would somehow satisfy me. Pulling my bag of things out of my closet, I grabbed Absolution as well and strapped him to my back. "Is getting a dragon suit made, really going to put your mind at ease?" Absolution asked me.

"I don't know, it may, or it may not, I really don't know. But if it makes me at least a little happy, I'll be willing to get one." I replied.

I walked downstairs and said goodbye to my parents, whom I told about my decision a few days ago. "Just make sure to give us a look, when you get it!" my sister said.

"Don't worry, you'll be the first one's to see it." I said as I walked out the door. I walked up to the summit of the hill next door to my house and pressed a button on a strange set of keys, which were the keys to my own personal Gummi Ship. Jumping inside, I looked at the control panel. Taking out the piece of paper that had the co-ordinates written on it, the words 'Sunrise Valley' appeared on screen.

I pressed a button to confirm my choice and the ship blasted off and started its course to its destination. The trip would be about 2 hours, so I headed into the cabin and fell asleep on a bed. The ship chimed that I had arrived and I looked out the window. I could now see why it was called Sunrise Valley, during the day, it always seemed like it was in a constant state of sunrise with the soft colours of the sun rising covering the city on the world.

I maneuvered the ship around and landed in a large field near the town. Getting out, I locked and disguised my gummi ship before heading into the city. It was quiet compared to most places I had been to. Walking around I searched for the store, but I couldn’t find any signs with the word ‘costume’ in it.

I was starting to get agitated, when I spied a teenager who looked like he had just bought a costume, judging by the size of the box. Walking up to him, I asked him “Hey did you just come from a costume store?”

“Why yes, how come?” the teenager replied.

“Well, I’m new to this city, and I heard that there was a costume store here, but I can’t find it.” I explained.

The teenager laughed and said “It’s not surprising, given the fact that it doesn’t even have to word costume in it.” “Look, just go around the corner there, and look for a small brick building called “The Second Identity”, that’s the store that you’re looking for.

“The second identity? That’s a strange name for a costume store…” I commented.

“Well it’s actually appropriately named, my friend told me about this place. The costumes they make here are actually quite realistic.” the teenager said as he opened his costume box.

Sitting in the box was a dinosaur suit, it was made superbly, and the detail was just so magnificent. “Damn if they’re that good, I’m looking forward to getting one for myself.”

“Well I’m sure you’ll have fun with it. But just be careful, I heard that sometimes the costumes can be quite… clingy” the teenager said as he walked off. As the teenager walked away, I felt a strange vibe coming from the box, I just shrugged it off and headed in the direction that the teenager told me to go.

Sure enough, there was a red brick building that had a sign above it saying “The Second Identity”. “Well at least I found it…” I said a bit exhausted from the search.

Walking inside, he was met with view of dozen’s of costumes. I walked around a bit and examined all the costumes, all looked nice, but they didn’t seem as nice as the Dinosaur one I saw minutes ago.

I walked over to the counter and rang a bell that was aptly placed for when customers needed help. I stood there for a few minutes and took another look at the costumes on the racks. My eye then caught sight of a slightly open door behind the counter.

Managing to see a portion of the room behind it, I spied even more costumes. But these were different, they seemed to have the same gleam and sophisticated design that the dino suit from before had.

“Can I help you?” a voice said.

I jumped back in horror from the sudden line of dialogue, and then averted my attention to a man behind the counter. He seemed to be quite old in some aspects and wore strange robes of some kind.

“Well?” the man asked again.

“Uhhh yeah. I, uh heard you do, uh special costume orders for people and was wondering if, uh I could pay to have one made for, uh me?” I managed to stutter out.

“What kind of costume would you like?” the man asked.

“Well um, I’m a big fan of dragons and wanted a dragon costume please.” I said after the man’s calmish tone also calmed me down.

“What colours and what shape would you like to have?” he asked. I laid out the photos of Dragoon out and the man looked at them with some curiosity.

“How did you get pictures like these?” the man asked.

“He’s my friend and he allowed me to take pictures of him.” I replied.

“You mean… you’re friends with a dragon?” the man asked with a hint of disbelief.

“Sure, is that so hard to believe?” I said to the man.

“Here. Dragons are just myths, well sort of…” the man replied.

“Well could you make me a dragon costume then?” I said getting annoyed with where this conversation was going.

“Well you said you’re a friend, of the dragon?” the man asked.

“That’s right.” I replied.

“Could you maybe get a scale from him, of both colours on him?” the man requested.

“What for?” I said confused.

“You’ve seen the costumes in the back haven’t you?” the man asked motioning towards the open door.

“Well, just a peek.” I confessed to him.

“The reason that they seem so life like is because I make it out of a special material, and sometimes, to get the material just right, I have to mix it with fur or scales from the animal requested or a well detailed picture of what the person wants.” the man explained.

“What would I get for it?” I asked curiously.

“Look, I’ll tell you what, you get the scales for me and I’ll make one of my ‘special’ costumes for you for no charge, sound fair?” the man proposed to me.

“You serious?” I said in disbelief.

“You have my word.” the man said.

“Um, just wait here, I can get them for you within the hour.” I said as I made my way for the exit.

The man was obviously excited by the fact that I could obtain such prized items.

I made my way back to the ship and hopped inside before cloaking it again. I then summoned Absolution and telepathically contacted Dragoon.

“Dragoon, you there?” I said.

“Draco, that you?” Dragoon replied to my voice.

“It’s me.” I replied.

“What’s up?” Dragoon asked.

“Would it be a bother if I could have one of your white and gold scales?” I asked nicely.

“What on earth for?” Dragoon asked.

“The man at the costume shop said that if I got a gold and a white scale from you, apparently he can make it better than his regular costumes.” I explained.

“How does he plan to use them in your costume?” Dragoon enquired.

“I don’t know, but he also said that I could have the costume for free if I got them.” I said with some happiness.

“Well I suppose if it means a free costume for you, I suppose I could.” Dragoon agreed.

“Right, just put the scales when you get them on my desk and I’ll grab them.”

“Okay then.” Dragoon replied.

Several minutes went by as I waited for Dragoon to give the okay. Just then Dragoon contacted me “Okay I put the scales on your desk.” he said.

“Okay, just give me a sec…” I said as I cut a portal open to my room. Stepping through and grabbing the scales, I turned to see Dragoon outside the window. “Got them." I said holding them in my hand”.

“I hope your costume turns out alright.” Dragoon commented.

“Yeah me too.” I replied. “I might stay an extra night after I get the costume, just to try it on, you know, if there are any complications.” I added.

“Well just don’t stay around too long, I miss having you around.” Dragoon replied.

“Don’t worry, a month tops!” I reassured him as I stepped back though the portal.

Stepping back through, I saw the sun was starting to set. So I decided put my quest on hold until tomorrow. I walked outside to get a better view of things, the sunset was as about as beautiful as the sky usually was.

I casually looked up for a bit and caught eye of a strange looking figure. I wasn’t able to tell what it was, but it had hair, a tail and a… cap? The figure quickly flew away from sight as I stood there with a dumbfounded look on my face.

“Jesus, I really need to cut back on the coke, all the sugar and caffeine is making me see things.” I thought to myself. Heading back inside the gummi ship, I helped myself to a meal from the ship’s Galley before going to bed. For some reason that figure was stuck in my mind, as I tried to figure out what the hell it was.

“Meh, not much use worrying about it” I told myself before I fell asleep.
 
Last edited:

Essence of Elegy

How long shall you delve into time?
Joined
Oct 17, 2007
Messages
1,796
Awards
4
Location
Valorin
Roxas came and sat down next to him with a sea-salt ice cream bar as well and said "Hey Draco, what's been happening?"

Here you change from first person to third person. It's kind of weird.

Roxas enquired

inquired

co-ordinates

coordinates is fine too.

ship’s Gallery

It's called a galley =D

You did well. Somehow this reminds me of Goosebumps. You need to learn to put a period in your quotations before closing the quotations. You do this: "The fat man"

It should be this: "The fat man." Make sense?

Other than that, you did alright. Put in some more suspense and it might be even better. Also, try not to make your stories so predictable. Everyone loves a plot twist.
 

Dragonstar1715

New member
Joined
Apr 13, 2007
Messages
900
Age
33
Location
In my own personal world
Website
dragonstar1715.deviantart.com
You did well. Somehow this reminds me of Goosebumps. You need to learn to put a period in your quotations before closing the quotations. You do this: "The fat man"

It should be this: "The fat man." Make sense?

Other than that, you did alright. Put in some more suspense and it might be even better. Also, try not to make your stories so predictable. Everyone loves a plot twist.


Well no one had told me in the past about those kinds of grammar rules >.< But I fixed all errors, as for plot, I was never good at writing plot :(
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top