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General ► Do you ever just really despise your siblings?



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Like to the point of wanting to beat the everloving crap out of them because of how much of a jerk they are?

I know I do with my older brother.

He's just such a piece of garbage with barely any redeeming qualities that I just want to go ballistic on him every time he tells me to shut up for no real reason.

Like, just now he accused me of lying about how the dogs didn't eat the cat's food, assuming with no evidence that they did eat the cat's food because of the freaking timeframe from when the food was given to when it was finished. He literally yelled at me about it then mumbled about how I was a liar under his breath[badly might I add, I heard it all].

And that's not even scratching the surface of how much he treated me like crap over the years, the bad shit he's done, his utter lack of self-awareness, his total laziness, and how he just always believes he's in the right.

Anyone else have siblings like that?
 

Recon

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As the oldest, I used to play the role of keeping everyone in line. Now that we’re much older, not so much. It’s all about providing life advice and guidance. Sure, we’ve had our disagreements and arguments, but at the end of the day, I love all my brothers. As they say, “friends come come and go, but you’re family for life.”
 
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As the oldest, I used to play the role of keeping everyone in line. Now that we’re much older, not so much. It’s all about providing life advice and guidance. Sure, we’ve had our disagreements and arguments, but at the end of the day, I love all my brothers. As they say, “friends come come and go, but you’re family for life.”
Lucky...sounds like you had a better relationship with your siblings.

My brother and I never agree on anything, he never cares about anything I say and believes nobody else does.

None of what he says has merit anyway but it's just telling that he believes no one cares about what I say.

He hates me, for no reason other than he just does.

After all the shit he pulled, I wish he never came back.
 

PrettyGuard

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How I'm thankful I never had that kind of sibling relationship even when I was a kid. Hopefully, as your brother matures, he will realize how wrong he has been to you.
 

Absent

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There’s a wide age gap between us, that alone makes us get along better.
 
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As a kid sure but my relationship with my fraternal twin sister was just normal sibling squabbles.

As an adult no because our lives are more separate.
 
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Yep, my brother and I will never get along especially after he called me out for miniscule bullshit and said that I never think.
 

Face My Fears

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He obviously has his own insecurities and issues that he is transferring onto you. You need to call him out for it and tell him, hey I'm not your punching bag for when you feel like crap. From my own experience, it sounds like he is actually trying to provoke a reaction out of you, just so that he can get a fight - so that he can let out whatever his anger his about (and I'm sure it has nothing to do with cat food).

Have you tried being the mature one to sit him down and talk about this? How old are you all? It sounds like he may be 15 or 16?
 
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He obviously has his own insecurities and issues that he is transferring onto you. You need to call him out for it and tell him, hey I'm not your punching bag for when you feel like crap. From my own experience, it sounds like he is actually trying to provoke a reaction out of you, just so that he can get a fight - so that he can let out whatever his anger his about (and I'm sure it has nothing to do with cat food).

Have you tried being the mature one to sit him down and talk about this? How old are you all? It sounds like he may be 15 or 16?
He just turned 23 a couple days ago.
 

Face My Fears

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He just turned 23 a couple days ago.
That's still young enough to be oblivious to how he's hurting you, but old enough to have a conversation with him.

Do you even talk to him about anything of substance? I think it comes down to whether you even want to maintain this relationship when you move on with your own life and grow up. I personally would try and fix things first, but if he is as bad as you say, then maybe you will inevitably just grow apart from him and see him for holidays here and there, and just be cordial. Nothing's wrong with that either.

I had to deal with younger and older brothers, so I know how the relationship can be difficult at times because the older feels like they are always right and treat the younger ones as incompetent.
 

Idreamaboutcats

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OMFG Yes! YEEES! Honestly though it might be because I could probably have Asperger's (I need to confirm with my psychiatrist for this), added to the fact that I'm the youngest and the default "golden child." I hate how he's so..."kind" or in my view, gullible, too nice, too...too...too much of a pushover. How on earth is he surviving with a wife and kids when the world is a complete shithole and our other sibling (who I despise for different reasons) basically swindled him out of a large amount of money that could be downpayment for his house? I hate how he's so undriven that there's more pressure for me to marry and have kids instead of celebrating my introversion and have hypothetical kids to succeed after their grandpa. For crying out loud, I was so put off by it all that the idea of sex seems more like a chore than anything fun. However, I recognize I might have this "golden child" mindset brainwash and I'm trying to be free of it and become more tolerant. It's awfully hard because we both obviously haven't emotionally matured, among other things...

...I definitely need to speak to my psychiatrist...

...probably ask him why I'm still alive too...

...meh.
 
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Oracle Spockanort

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Well goodness, this thread (and my mom's sister) makes me happy I'm an only child.

@KeybladeLordSora, perhaps consider talking to him. You two sound like you need a genuine serious, adult conversation.

If something like that isn't possible based on your personalities and history, I imagine the best fix in the future is to distance yourself from your brother and when you are in a position to leave home or he can leave home, take it. If there is one thing I've learned from observing my mom and her sister, it is that sometimes sibling relationships are unsalvageable even if there can be moments of peace and understanding. You are better off getting away ASAP to avoid the relationship souring into bitterness and leading to actual physical violence.

All it does is breed toxicity and it WILL last until your dying days if it isn't resolved when you are young enough to be willing to actively learn and change.
 

Face My Fears

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Fuck that noise, he's an adult. He's mature enough to know how bad his behaviour is, he just has a power complex because he's the older sibling hence the bad behaviour.
That's true. But some people need guidance. The fact is that maybe the older brother is going through stuff too that the younger brother doesn't know, and the two not understanding/communicating with each other is just adding more negativity and hostility? I'm not in the situation and don't know the guy, but I wouldn't just dismiss the older brother immediately as a piece of crap. You can't expect someone to change or even acknowledge their bad behaviour if no one calls him out for it or tells him that it's bad. I do wonder what the parents had to say about all of this.
 

Idreamaboutcats

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I think I honestly just stopped caring. The only problem is my tendency to retaliate. If I can learn to keep my cool, I can finally coast through life ignoring them forever except work.
 
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