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Help/Support ► Dissocial Personality Disorder



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Endgame

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I've just discovered something about myself. See, for years, I've been diagnosed by doctors as having androgenous depression. However, in the last week, I stumbled upon something that means that I never had depression in the first place. Potentially, however, it's much worse.

A documentry I saw led me to start reading up on certain disorders. Upon browsing over a certain one, I started to notice a lot of similarities between the traits of the disorder and myself. Looking for more information, I quickly realised that I have 90% of the traits of this disorder. It's called dissocial personality disorder. Most of you probably havn't heard of that, but there's a more common name for it you probably have heard of.

Psychopathy.

Narcassism, inflated sense of self, removal from the social order, antisocial tendancies, manipulation, ability to fake emotions and/or lie easily, lack of certain emotions, lack of empathy or remorse, willingness to do whatever necessary to fulfil a want, regardless of the effect doing so may have on others, tendancy to use others to gain wants, parasetic lifestyle to those residing with, inability to determine emotion from certain expressions or body language, easily bored, inability to deal with boredom, reliance on external stimulus for entertainment, predisposition to substance abuse due to tendancy to seek sensation... all traits that I have. In fact, the only ones I don't are heightened agression: I'm easily angered, but never aggressive, because I'm too rational and calculating to start physical fights, and sexual promiscurity: I find most girls to be too braindead and moronic, so I'd rather make fun of the mall-crawling airheads then sleep with them.

Just reading up on this, I suddenly understand things about myself, things I do without knowing why, that I never could comprehend beforehand. Everything that confused me about me makes perfect sense with this new information.

So, I'm 99% certain that I fall into this catagory, a catagory only 1% of the world's population share with me, the larger part of which are criminals.

The problem is, now I know, I don't know what to do from here. I don't want to speak to a doctor about it. They'd put me on some drug that would change who I am. I've had enough of thought process altering medication after the antidepressants drained away my creativity for some time.

I can't speak to friends or family about it. Either they wouldn't understand it, and would think I was telling them I'm a serial killer, or they'd understand it... the worse scenario. Who wants to be around someone if you're not sure if they're happy, or they're pretending to be happy to get something from you?

So, there's only two things I can do, really. Hide it, and let it eat away at me from inside, but never, ever, tell anyone, or try to forget I ever found out. Which I know right now will be impossible. It's not easy to forget an epiphany.

Even worse. I don't know if I even truly love the people I think I love, or if I just tell myself it's love, and subconciously want things from them. I don't know how real any of my emotional connections are. And I don't know how to find out. It's like a colourblind person deciding if the colours they see are the same as what others see. I call that truck red, and you say it's red, but is the red I see the same red you see?
 
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Ulti

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Shit is too complicated for me. So don't take my ideas here seriously. I would just forget what I found out. It will just make my mind a danger zone if I have to figure out why am I doing things I want to do. Never second guess your actions. If you believe you have certain feelings for one person or another, why let something you think you have tell you otherwise? You still function well. You aren't running out and making yourself an enemy to everyone. You think what you feel.

Again, I'm no expert. I am probably and surely wrong, but it is what I would do. It would just be worse if you tell others and they started to treating you differently if they believe you have this disorder, meds or no meds.
 

Silh

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Self-diagnoses are annoying and pretentious.
 

Dman2.0

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well That would have matched me back in 7th grade 9th grade now. It was just a short term thing and i dont know why it happened. I just now realized I acted like that then. I think it had something to do with realizing that people are stupid. Then I lookded at it a little more and realized Im just as stupid as them just in different ways.
 

Thelonepickle

I don't like bugs!
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Silh beat me to it. Whiner. Admit it, you won't go to a doctor, 'cause he might tell you that you DON'T have this mysterious disorder.
 

Wehrmacht

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Chances are, if you care enough to be worried about the discovery and post this thread, you're not a psychopath.
 

Lifes.Lover

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I don't know. My suggestion would be to talk to your doctor about it. I mean, not knocking your diagnosis or anything, but I've learned over the years that trying to diagnose myself is just a bad idea.

I'm usually wrong.

No matter how close the symptoms are, there's every chance that the doctors aren't actually fucking up and that they are right in their diagnose. 'Cause, you know, they spent tons of money and wasted years learning medicine. They're not complete imbeciles.

Anyway, if this is something that you believe you have, then you should talk to the doctor. That will alert them to it, and they will run actual tests to figure out if you have it. Then, if you are truly diagnosed with it, you can decide where you will go from there. They may want you to take medicine, but that medicine doesn't necessarily mean that it will change who you are as a person, and that doesn't mean that you don't have the right to refuse the medicine.

Also, trust yourself. You felt for these people before you found out about the disorder. Why doubt that feeling now, when you think you may have it?
 

Reika Noko

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traumatize yourself enough about the topic to go into selective amnesia

Seriously, if that's what psychopathy is and since you're pretty sensible, I'm pretty sure everyone else went through it one point in their life before. Then I went into selective amnesia to forget about what I kept telling everyone in 5th grade. There is always some form of solution to help you get through a problem.
 

Enchanted Rose

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Try role-playing less?

You're being melodramatic.

See a doctor if you're genuinely concerned. They are, at least, confidential and will be less judgmental than us. They'll see it in terms of medicine rather than personality, but that's not to say they'll just instantly put you on meds.
 

Stavvy

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Try role-playing less?

With the state the RP section is currently in, it would be a blow.

I say go to the doctor, even if they give you some drugs, it's for the best.

You say that you don't want to change, is that to say that you're happy with how you are? If so, then why make a deal of it? If you want to change, or at least get better, why be afraid of the trip?
 

Endgame

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Self-diagnoses are annoying and pretentious.

Hey somebody help silh is victimising me stop him before he gets my IP KHI.

Despite all the advice to the contrary, I'm not going to see a doctor. I'm tired of medications making me into a different person. They destroy my intellect, my creativity. I quit drinking. I'm quitting smoking cold turkey to avoid the drugs for that. I don't even take pain medication for headaches after work. I detest having any form of altered mental state. I believe that medication is an unnecessary step. You've got a problem? It's a matter of wrappping your head around it, understanding it, and learning to work around it, not taking some pills that are supposed to be a magical solution. Magical solutions don't exist.

A lot of you evidently don't understand what it is. It's not 'The serial killer disease'. It's a simple misconception. The disorder itself just means that you don't really give a shit about anyone but yourself.

Ulti, making an enemy of everyone? On the contrary, I always put on an act to make people like me, to get them on my side. It's all just subconcious. I don't say, Oh hey, I'll put on an act to lure this guy into thinking I'm his friend. I just do it. And later on, I realize that I hate them, but I keep that act up because they could be useful to have the loyalty of later on.
 

Thelonepickle

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Going to the doctor =/= shoving pills down your throat.

At least find out if you even have it. They're not going to forcefeed you anything.

It would be a lot easier for everybody to take your melodromatic speeches if there was actually a basis for them. For the sake of KHI, see a doctor (or stop whining)?
 

very differentiable
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As long as you haven't gone on a rampage, or kept on thinking about killing someone, i think it's not that severe. I'm no expert though, so a phsyciatrist still is your best bet.
 
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