Help/Support ► Dilemma about school

[Blobbit]

Well here's the deal. I'm currently a 10th grader at my high school. My parents want me to go to this really studious school in the capital; it's public school but it's a boarding school too. There I would most likely get better options for college scholarships and even cut down some of the time for college, but you don't really do ANYTHING but study. You can't use the internet(except for research) or phones either, so I wouldn't be able to keep in touch with my friends from my current high school very well, especially since the school is in a completely different city. The school I'm currently going to is a very good school too, so I don't think I would lose very much by staying, but I really just don't know what to do. I really love the school I'm going to now and I really don't want to leave all my friends, but the school my parents are wanting me to go to is really going to help me for my future. I shadowed there too, but to be honest it seemed extremely boring and lifeless. I just don't know what to do...I just need some advice.

 

[Taochan]

Being in a place where you're bored all of the time and are only able to do school work won't really make you more productive. You need ways to vent boredom and relieve stress, and this school you're mentioning doesn't really seem like the place for that.

You're also fourteen and this will seem excessively suffocating in a year or two, it may prove to be overwhelming. You may be better to stay where you are and continue to work hard. If your grades are up to par, that's all you'll need to get into a good school later in life.

 

[Oracle Spockanort]

It isn't the end point that truly matters; it is the journey there.

Also, it doesn't even matter what high school you go to when applying to college. What matters is your grades and abilities.

I'd stay where you are if you are making good grades and feel happy. Why become miserable by going to such a dull place?

 

[Narukami]

Like my mom always tells me: "Grades aren't everything."

You need a good balance of a social life and a school life. And trust me on this, colleges look for both. If that school is just focused on studying and nothing else it's probably gonna hurt your chances of going to that college you want to go to. This is coming from a high school Junior.

Also, like everyone else said, if you're going to be miserable DON'T DO IT.

 

[Blobbit]

I agree with everything you all have said, the thing is just that my parents are really forcing me to apply...I just feel like I should be making my own decisions. But no matter how much I argue I can't win, since, you know they're my parents. I feel like the only way that I'll be able to stay in my current school is if I write a really bad essay or screw up something like that on the application, but then I have no idea how angry my parents will be with me and it may make it even worse:/

 

[Oracle Spockanort]

I agree with everything you all have said, the thing is just that my parents are really forcing me to apply...I just feel like I should be making my own decisions. But no matter how much I argue I can't win, since, you know they're my parents. I feel like the only way that I'll be able to stay in my current school is if I write a really bad essay or screw up something like that on the application, but then I have no idea how angry my parents will be with me and it may make it even worse:/

Can you not sit down with them and discuss these feelings with them? I know they are trying to force you, but in the end this is your life and only you can live it. Your happiness should be their concern over what prestigious high school you go to.

I can honestly say as a college student that nobody is going to look at what high school you went to when you apply for work once you are in college. Colleges don't even care what high school you went to as long as the curriculum matches up with what they are looking for in a student.

You say there is honestly no difference in the school's level of education, so I don't see any advantage of you attending that school.

Again, it is your ability that will get you places and not the name of the high school you went to.



Don't tell your parents that. Just tell them that you don't feel confident in the idea of going to that school. If anything you feel as if you'll be worse off there. If they know that there is any potential for your grades to decline they might decide against sending you there.

 

[Blobbit]

Can you not sit down with them and discuss these feelings with them? I know they are trying to force you, but in the end this is your life and only you can live it. Your happiness should be their concern over what prestigious high school you go to.

Every time I try, they're convinced that the school will be much more beneficial to my future than the school I currently go to.

You say there is honestly no difference in the school's level of education, so I don't see any advantage of you attending that school.

Well to be fair I think the other school has more advanced classes(that are similar to college classes) but at my current school we have the IB program, which from what I understand is similar to AP but much more intense and requires a lot of work too.

Don't tell your parents that. Just tell them that you don't feel confident in the idea of going to that school. If anything you feel as if you'll be worse off there. If they know that there is any potential for your grades to decline they might decide against sending you there.

I'll try this; but my parents know that I'll try my hardest even if I go there...or if I look like I'm not confident enough to go there, they'll still make me anyways. I don't want to go but I know it's my parents best intentions and they're not just wanting me to go there so they can show me off(I hope...). I just don't know how to prove it to them without actually going there and not liking it.

 

[Taochan]

Why don't you suggest trying this IB program before you consider going to this prestigious high school. If you find the IB courses too much to handle then you probably wouldn't be able to handle that other high school. :/ They might be able to understand what you're saying with that.

 

[Dogenzaka]

A few things:
1 - There are always ways to have fun, even at places like Ivy League schools. So don't worry, if you leave, you will find friends (if you easily make friends) and start having fun at some point.
2 - Try to keep a future/mature perspective on things. If you want to go to college, go to the high school that best prepares you for that and will trim time off your college degree. High school is a very fleeting, temporary, ultimately irrelevant experience in the long run that will have fun sweet and horrible memories, but you've got to focus on your future and what's best for that as well as living in the here and now.
3 - If you go to a university away from home, you will never want see/talk or want to see/talk to 99% of your high school friends ever again, by sophomore year. Chances are, they will grow apart from you as well. Don't throw all your eggs in the high school basket. Most people who go to college and end up with careers hardly end up talking to their high school friends by the time they've moved into the later stages in their adult life. So appreciate high school for what it is, but don't let these temporary relationships dictate your future. Wherever you go, you can find friends, some more meaningful, hopefully, than the ones before.

Just keep all that in mind when you make your decision. But if you're happy where you are and are making good grades and like the balance of your current school, consider just staying where you are. But if you want a new experience and want to see the challenge of growth by being thrust into a new environment, consider changing things up and switching schools. Ultimately you have to make the decision, just keep in mind your future, your happiness, and your comfort, as well as what's going to be best for your grades.

 

[Nutari]

Just let your parents know, as respectfully as you can, that you really want to stay. You make sure they know that your heart is here and if you leave that it'll be horribly distracting and possibly even depressing. Switching schools this late in the game is hard anyway. I assume you've been in the same school system for a while? Switching to something entirely different may set you back if your schools arent lined up ciriculum wise..