Dentim's Tales



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Dentim

A boy in a playsuit.
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I used to write a lot, then not anymore and lately again. Figured I might as well actually post stuff and have other people read them now. :p So read, tell me what you think, (constructively) criticize and so forth. Any advice is always welcome, especially when it comes to stuff like punctuation (and keep in mind that although I'm not bad at it, english ISN'T my first language :) )

To start off, here's something I wrote last week. My friend gave me a premise, and I was to try and make something amusing out of it. For slight spoiler reasons I'll put said premise after the story.

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Howler

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Nice job! Yeah, I didn't expect him to be that at first for sure. I do like though how he has a strong will and wants to follow his dream no matter what he his and what he is told. I must say I like the little humor in it too. This was really an interesting read, and it's okay if you make some errors in the story. :)
 

KingdomKey

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Even a Sparrow can dream to be a wrestler! I was greatly amused, entertained, and surprised by the outcome of this story! And I love all of the characters personalities in this too. Especially Mr. Davenport because, that's what I'd imagine a manager in charge of pro-wrestlers to sound like. You've really out done yourself, Dentim! The story itself was really refreshing and uplifting. And there's not much to critique because, it read really smoothly too. However, 'mr' should be capitalized with a period next to it. So it should look like 'Mr. Davenport' instead of 'mr Davenport'. :) Everything else checked out!
 

Dentim

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Made another one yesterday. It's very much in the same veign as the last one, I was thinking of doing a series of variations of talking animals in normal human settings trying to fit in. At the moment they're coming easier to me than other ideas.

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At it's core it's a bit too similar for my own tastes, an animal and a human talking in an office without any real movement or anything, but then again it's only a short bit. I'll try to vary it up in the future.
 
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Howler

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It's good for being short!
I like how you are making the settings like that similar to a comparison to regular lives.
Good, he is getting noticed. Maybe he can finally fulfill his dream. :)
 

Dentim

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He may. I might make a follow up with Chad and Bomber sometime, but only if I can think of something satisfying enough.

Got 2 stories today: the first is something I wrote a little over a month ago, the other is from yesterday. The tone of both (especially the first) is radically different from the other 2.

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KingdomKey

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Fluff Piece

This was incredibly entertaining from start to finish. Chad trying to be a big shot journalist by writing about something more dangerous with Jill telling him no got me hooked in deep. I love how him being a chimpanzee was really emphasized during the story. Like asking to be groomed and spitting out his banana. And it fit in the setting like a glove. You really pulled that off! Seriously, I'm amazed and impressed. I love these short stories. Keep them coming! And I love the call back to the wrestler story and the talking bird. <3

Dark Passage

Well... that took a really unexpected turn. lol. This is going to sound really crazy but, I could hear the beat of the drums too. Talk about intense. I'd be terrified too, if I was thrown into the dark with a sharp floor hurting my bare feet. Not knowing what I'd find at the end. But seriously, this was amazing. I felt like I was there and hearing the drums. I felt my heart race. And then my mouth dropping, when the girl just stabs her mom in the chest and smiles about it. Talk about creepy. Oh how I love this story so much. It was so, so good!

The Tigress and the Village

I'll admit, I thought perhaps the tiger was waiting for a chance to eat one of the villagers. I feel so bad about it now because, being a talking tiger and feared by humans has to really suck. It kind of reminds me of what a dog would be like. Hoping someone would pay attention to it, then laying back down when it doesn't happen. Oh how my heart is hit with so many feelz right now. I love how Samithra lets the Tigress open up to her and gives her meat. It was a really sweet and adorable moment between the two of them. I hope Samithra can help the Tigress find her place in the world. <3
 

Dentim

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Fluff Piece
I figured that since Chimpanzees are social creatures and grooming is part of how they maintain their social structure, it would make sense for a talking to chimp to constantly request it. Living among humans, grooming is not something he'd experience often. And it made for an entertaining gag. :p

Dark Passage
If that's how you felt, that's good, cuz that's the type of reaction I was aiming for when I wrote it. Darkness is a primal fear that speaks to many people, which is why it was easy to have that twist turn the situation radically around. While she was a bit unsure herself, she was never in actual danger at all. Most people would have expected her to die at the end.

The Tigress and the Village
I'll be honest, one other reason I also added Dark Passage before this is so that people wouldn't immediately think it's another talking animal story. I made the situation seem like ambiguous on purpose. I chose a big predator this time around because as a mysterious talking (and non-aggressive) animal, the predators would have a much harder time to get in touch with humans than animals like birds and sparrows. Especially if they still live in the wild, like this one. If they don't live in a zoo (which is were Chad was born, btw), or a nature reserve with at least semi-frequent contact with rangers they're basically shit out of luck because most humans would indeed run or attack.
Again, I'm glad it had the intended effect, along with the feelz. :p I think this could be followed up on at some point, but I'll only do that if I find something to my own satisfaction. Plenty of other animals to explore left after all.
 

Dentim

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It's been a while (vacation and stuff), but I got a new one: couldn't really think of a name, so I just called it Douglas. Enjoy (or not, free country)
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I really liked this one, cause it's easy to envision this. Almost like a movie, actually. Anyways, I was greatly entertained by Douglas the janitor and the mouse. xD I love how the boss handled things. And the inner thoughts going on with Haliday needing to get rid of certain things. lol. Well worth the wait and a fun read overall. <3
 

Dentim

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Actually finished this one a while ago, but stuff kept getting in the way. :p Enjoy (and thx for the compliments on the other, could've sworn I replied though. Oh well)

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KingdomKey

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This was hilarious and absolutely mind boggling in a good way. Poor Danson can't see reality from delusions. I think the two dogs being different breeds kind of count as real? If I understand what the hamster was saying. xD Either way, I really enjoyed this! And was super happy to read it, cause it was entertaining from start to finish! <3
 

Dentim

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Glad you liked it. Work on this was a bit out of the ordinary, I had written half of it and then got sidetracked for weeks before getting back to it and finishing it. I even wrote a couple of jokes double (despite re-reading what I already had exactly to prevent that from happening -_- ) The result being that I wasn't sure about the finished story. But I read it a couple of times and couldn't really find anything to improve upon so there.
 

Dentim

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And now for something completely different.
This is something new and unrelated to the rest. I'm planning on a much bigger story now, here's the first chapter (no title yet):

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Dentim

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Second chapter. I'm also already a good way in chapter 3.
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KingdomKey

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First Chapter

It was hilarious. I absolutely love the evil overlord Ghast and Igor his assistance. I like all of the jokes they made in the chapter. Or how the Iron Maiden Igor uses doesn't fully work. I also laughed at the robbing the wrong person part that caused the mob in the first place. Or the dragon being sickly. I had a blast reading it. I'm glad you've written more of it because it's a wonderful read. I like how different it is from the usual evil overlord in a gloomy castle story <3

Second Chapter

The poison happy part had me busting a gut in laughter. I also liked Ghastly speaking to Chauncy too. It was hilarious when Ghastly went silent for two days. And Cletus screwing up the straps was funny. I like that you break the fourth wall too. You write the best stories ever, Dentim! Both of chapters are a lot of fun to read. I simply can't get enough. And I really can't wait for Chapter three! :D Sorry for the delay in reading this btw.
 

Dentim

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Glad you liked them. :) And don't worry about that delay. I'll post chapter 3 later today. 4 is also almost ready. I just noticed I have to make some minor edits for consistency: my narration has evolved to the point where the narrator isn't actually the writer.
 

Dentim

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Chapter 3
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Dentim

A boy in a playsuit.
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And the 4th
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