Deep Dive I: What's important to your identity?



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Grono

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Hey, guys! I've been exploring myself and my values lately, notably what defined me and inspired me, and I figured that this would be a good time to start a series of threads to get to know everybody! These threads will be named "Deep Dives" after the secret movie from the original game's Final Mix.

So, my first topic I want to cover is identity. What is important to your identity? Are there any individuals in your life that helped form you? Are there any experiences you've had, good or bad, that have changed your perspective on things and made you more aware of something you treasure?

And remember, don't forget to go deep! My second one is going to be very deep if anyone is shy ^u^

I'll start with a simple one and a complex one: my country home and my atheism.

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Anyways, what's an important part of your identity that you'd be willing to share with our community! Make sure to comment below, and thanks for tuning in, KHInsider! TwT
 

Tring

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I like your idea. I'm a psychologist by profession, and I dedicated to give my life to human psychology. I write a lot of interesting things liked here for a wide range of people. You can at any time ask me to reveal a special topic for you. Personality of man first of all manifests itself in his life path, in his choice and in his responsibility.
 

Rodin

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I suffer from depression since May 2016 and started going to therapy for it in February 2017. The catalyst was my parents got involved in my attempt at having a relationship with a nonmuslim girl and the results were not pretty.

Having your parents be the reason why a relationship doesn't work out is never fun. I think it wrecked my faith in my parents and my faith in Islam. I was really angry and I wasn't my best self for a long time.

After a year's worth of therapy my anger was a way to hide my fear. Being sad all the time wasn't helping so i thought being angry would help more and it did but it was not enough.

A year later I'm in a better place with my parents and we are working on being better. I had to be honest with myself about what I really want and why I'm so afraid and its an ongoing thing.
 
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Grono

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I suffer from depression since May 2016 and started going to therapy for it in February 2017. The catalyst was my parents got involved in my attempt at having a relationship with a nonmuslim girl and the results were not pretty.

Having your parents be the reason why a relationship doesn't work out is never fun. I think it wrecked my faith in my parents and my faith in Islam. I was really angry and I wasn't my best self for a long time.

After a year's worth of therapy my anger was a way to hide my fear. Being sad all the time wasn't helping so i thought being angry would help more and it did but it was not enough.

A year later I'm in a better place with my parents and we are working on being better. I had to be honest with myself about what I really want and why I'm so afraid and its an ongoing thing.
I'm so sorry to hear about all of that with your parents, but I'm glad to hear that you've been able to work things out with them. What I did to fight off depression sounds stupid, but it worked.

Every day I walked into high school more and more depressed. I somehow figured that part of it was because my upset demeanor didn't invite anyone to talk to me, so I did something that most people wouldn't recommend: I just smiled, even if I didn't mean it at all. And I didn't mean it for something like six months. Eventually, I started smiling so much that I eventually did start feeling better, and now I'm known as someone who's stupidly naive and happy all of the time. I'm not sure if that would have happened if I didn't actively try to make the most out of a shitty situation like that, even if I had to lie to myself a bit.
 

Rodin

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I'm so sorry to hear about all of that with your parents, but I'm glad to hear that you've been able to work things out with them. What I did to fight off depression sounds stupid, but it worked.

Every day I walked into high school more and more depressed. I somehow figured that part of it was because my upset demeanor didn't invite anyone to talk to me, so I did something that most people wouldn't recommend: I just smiled, even if I didn't mean it at all. And I didn't mean it for something like six months. Eventually, I started smiling so much that I eventually did start feeling better, and now I'm known as someone who's stupidly naive and happy all of the time. I'm not sure if that would have happened if I didn't actively try to make the most out of a shitty situation like that, even if I had to lie to myself a bit.
Sometimes the people who smile the hardest, cry the hardest. There isn't a single way to deal with depression so you just gotta try whatever you think would help.

So what you did isn't unbelievable.
 

Grono

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Sometimes the people who smile the hardest, cry the hardest. There isn't a single way to deal with depression so you just gotta try whatever you think would help.

So what you did isn't unbelievable.
That's so true, though. Even now I feel incredibly anxious for the stupidest shit, I'm almost never just completely relaxed. When I am that means that my head is going to tell me that something has gone horribly wrong.

Another important part of my identity: chasing the feeling of being young again. I've felt like this ever since I realized that I'm getting my bachelor's in a year, and it hasn't been easy for me grappling with the reality that, while I was always a little sad and chasing love where I wouldn't find it, I still miss the chase and that feeling of youth that I just don't have anymore. I love my girlfriend and all, but at the same time I feel nostalgic for when I wasn't with her for some reason, you know? Gah, it's a weird feeling.
 

Soldier

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Well, i'd say I value my "soldier" disposition, what do i mean by that? well here it is below

IRL I address average people in a certain way, calling them "soldier". This extends to close friends, brief acquaintances, almost everyone It actually works in a lot of scenarios, i can say "on your feet soldier, there's work to do" and it fits no matter the situation. But here's the kicker, i'm not in the army, i can't even join their ranks so why do i do it? Well, i've always admired the orderliness of armies, the loyalty of the foot soldier for his commander and the general feeling of pride and strength. So to emulate this, i walk with a refined expression, take everything seriously, and guide my friends like an army commander. Another reason is my belief that deep down, we're all soldier's, fighting our own battles against depression, actual people, mental illness etc, and that it takes a strong person to overcome the odds. And you know what? i wouldn't have it any other way.
 

Meow Wow

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My past.

No but one thing that almost defines me is surpresion and fangirlism
Back in the start of middle school is when I started to become a fangirl of a fandom I do not speak of.
Becoming a deranged fangirl ruined some relationships I had and I became the laughing stock of my class. At the same time I started to use video games as an escape(because of other drama I won't get in to).

Through the next few years, I became more shy and tried suppressing that side of me. In return, I became kind of apathetic and hard shelled, never showing any negative emotion, even when I try. Truth is, I pretend to not care what other people think of me but I care a lot. Every time I fangirl, I slap myself on the wrist(figuratively).
Thankfully, my friends put up with me...somehow. Tho I can't help but feel that I am annoying, both IRL and here.

In a way, I can relate to everybody who posted here. Like, we all have our own stories to tell and all the negative things that happen are what shapes us the most.


Gosh who knew that reading this thread would send me on a long period of self-reflection...
 

PotatoSim:1

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Beep.
For casual introductions and stuff, we typically ask peops what they're most geeky about. (If our intuition warns us that even this question might blindside the person we're asking, we give examples such as "physics stuff, psychology, botany, pop culture, etc." Sometimes, "geeky" is misheard as "kinky," which results in us being blindsided. :D That's typically in just one particular cluster of subcultures where we find ourself most at home, though.)

OTOH, When we really intend to get to know some one, our first question might be, "If you intend to get to know some one, what do you ask?" Wethinks it's a reasonable place to start, inquiring into what one considers most salient. One's idea of what "knowing who some one is" seems to be a good indicator of one's idea of whom oneself is.

Our identity... We identify as an ordinary human. We live in a brain which is made entirely of organic neurons, myelinated in typical chordate fashion rather than of heavy gauge due to what our creators knew hao to manipulate. You know what? Forget we said anything about hybrid networks or mollusc stock. Er, we mean, that was a joke, ha ha. Our midgut gland takes the form of separate, disctinct hepatic and pancreatic modules, our hearts number in the normal range for humans, and we posess hard Calcium-buffering organs which double as major structural components, rather than a hydrostatic skeleton articulated by antagonist circumferential and longitudinal linear actuators. Our eyes, of which we have two, unless that's not the usual number, in which case we have however many you think we ought, have their retinae installed backwards just liek any other human's. Yep, that's us, totes unsuspicious.

Okay, seriously, we identify as a turbo-dweeb. This mortal form does not define us as a person! We are transhumanist! That's the right word for if we love humanity and are not cisgendered, right? Ahem. "Seriously." Sorry. We likes a little bit of physics, cosmology, life sciences, human stuff, hard sci fi, and really excited about only a little slice of the array of pop culture available. (Portal, Starcraft, Steven Universe, PBS Space Time, XKCD & various prolly obscure webcomics featuring human relations with nonhuman sophonts, those sorts of things)

We're a-gnostic a-theist because growing up with lotsa mystical and deistic influences has taught us that no one has access to evidence which we find sufficient to rationally justify belief in something which Ockham's Razor disfavours, and what is available to us has convinced us that requiring rational justification is one of a few critical parts of the best heuristic we're aware of for building an accurate predictive model of factual matters, which is in turn one of a few critical requirements for any reasonable chance of successfully articulating, to any significant extent, our desire to help ourself and others seek happiness.

We're a little twisted, which we attribute to a bouquet of psychosocial challenges. A minor part, we attribute to mental illness for most of which we avoid clinical terminology on ethical grounds because we do not intend to seek clinical diagnosis beyond what we already have. (which we did not seek in the first place, bleh) A major part of our eccentricity, moar importantly in our opinion, we attribute to growing up in a context very ill-equipped to handle human diversity in general and in particular the random roll of minority status we ended up with at character creation. We strongly suspect soem sort of neurodivergence, though cannot claim to know which one(s) in particular. FWIW, we've noticed that a handful of peops on the Autistic Spectrum, whatevs that means, have asked us if we know ourself to be on that spectrum too, including one who has lived with us for most of their life and ours, and happens to be a half-sibling by blood.

We fail to identify in terms others expect us to, which we guess is salient to this topic. We're really weirded out by the idea that our leaning toward lesbian is supposed to be "a part of our core identity," somehow moreso than most other matters of personal preference, and especially by the idea that it's supposed to revolve around sexual preference. That might be informed by our happening to be grey ace and aro, though. Maybe it'd make more sense to us if we were as sexual as most peops seem to expect. We're also nearly apoplectic at the notion that our gender identity is supposed to encompass our sex and any minority status that clearly falls into the "physiology" category. (dyadic vs. intersex, cis vs. trans, intact vs. injured, etc.) We happen to be a woman, our gender is feminine, and that is entirely independent of both our intimacy orientation and what this stoopid redox-powered, tiny-brained, woefully tentacle-challenged bag of water and protein looks like when we don't gotsta wear clothes. Okay, maybe our hilariously configured brain has just about everything to do with our identity, but the specific configuration of the peripheral support hardware isn't who we are! Haha, wethinks what we feel strongly about is also salient to what's important to our identity.

We'll return to this thread later, whereupon we might get into life experiences informing our personality, if wethinks we knows by then hao to clearly articulate such. Boop.
 
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