Help/Support ► Dealing with love troubles
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dude it's wanking is there supposed to be a point
Nevermore... you're pissing me off with that...
as for the second question... there are very few people besides disabled freaks and other nerds who'd be my friends... I don't like being part of a crowd so much... unless it's for a group activity
as for the second question... there are very few people besides disabled freaks and other nerds who'd be my friends... I don't like being part of a crowd so much... unless it's for a group activity
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masturbation is a good workout bro
gets you big biceps i reccomend 10 reps per arm for best results
gets you big biceps i reccomend 10 reps per arm for best results
well then why do you feel lacking in companionship
Pretty much going to agree with this post. Personally, I've always been attracted to guys who were outgoing and liked to meet new people, go out to group activities and who were just generally friendly guys. It's difficult to deal with the emotional toll of dealing with people who come off as having a bad self-image, who may appear clingy, who don't want to go out and interact with people, etc. That's not to say you shouldn't be able to share your feelings and have your bad days when you feel like everything is terrible. But trying to enjoy life and looking at the positive things will give you an air of confidence and people will want to associate with you.
I was usually happy with only a handful of friends but after a breakup I decided it was time to make a lot of friends. So even if I didn't feel like going out to group activities, or doing whatever it was my friends were doing... I'd still go out and try to have fun - and a lot of times I was surprised with not only how much fun I was having but by how much people enjoyed my company. Maybe that's something you could try doing, too? Plus it's a great way to meet new people, including new girls who might potentially be dating material.
I wouldn't worry about being in high school and drifting apart from people... that's always going to happen in life. But when you find someone who is important to you, you find ways to keep in touch.
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Don't let your desperation drive away potential girlfriends. You're better off enjoying your time being single now and letting relationships form naturally.
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Exactly! :3
Make friends! Maybe you don't like huge crowds, but have those group of friends who you really love to hang out with, and have fun with. I never had a boyfriend in high school (well, I did, but they didn't last such a long time) and then I thought, well, I'll be going to college, so maybe I'll meet someone new! But I didn't have a boyfriend when I went to college. And now I'm thinking, well, maybe I'll find someone in university! and if that doesn't happen, well...maybe when I work! And...yeah.
What I'm trying to say is that there shouldn't be any rush into getting a girlfriend, and getting a girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend...I don't see what's the point of that. :/
Kay, I'm here, as promised.
First of all, why do you keep calling yourself a nerd and degrading yourself? What's the point? This is probably the biggest problem with your self-confidence; you keep putting yourself below others, but you don't have to do that.
Heck, you even were able to start a relationship with a female who was interested in you. You've already done much MUCH better than most "nerds" alone with that achievement.
And second, this "geniune" relationship you speak of is rare. Soulmates don't come flying to you on their own just like that. Hell, some people spend their whole life looking for such a person and never manage to.
There's no guarantee you'll ever get there; but what you can do, is increasing your chances by going out there and being on the lookout, i.e. being open to people and getting to know them. And to do that, you have to stop judging people by stereotpyes (nerds, shallow girls, and all that other bullshit).
If you're looking for more contacts, it always helps to fill your free time with joining clubs or doing other activities. Learning some martial arts for example, learning an instrument, going for some language courses, anything really.
Also, whenever you meet up with friends, try to organize some group activities, and encourage them to bring along their friends, too.
You can do whatever comes to mind, as long as you have an opportunity to get into contact with other people. The more you do that, the higher the probability will be that you'll find people you can get along with and relate to.
Disabled freaks and nerds? Jesus Christ, give me a break.
Like I mentioned before.
Well, being social and going out involves that, whether you like it or not. You'll have to find a certain compromise and see what's more important to you: being social or being afraid of crowds.
Chances are you'll get used to it once you spend more time outdoors. Trust me, I've been through exactly the same development.
Are you absolutely serious? Cause I'm not sure if that's even biologically possible. :l
First of all, why do you keep calling yourself a nerd and degrading yourself? What's the point? This is probably the biggest problem with your self-confidence; you keep putting yourself below others, but you don't have to do that.
Heck, you even were able to start a relationship with a female who was interested in you. You've already done much MUCH better than most "nerds" alone with that achievement.
And second, this "geniune" relationship you speak of is rare. Soulmates don't come flying to you on their own just like that. Hell, some people spend their whole life looking for such a person and never manage to.
There's no guarantee you'll ever get there; but what you can do, is increasing your chances by going out there and being on the lookout, i.e. being open to people and getting to know them. And to do that, you have to stop judging people by stereotpyes (nerds, shallow girls, and all that other bullshit).
If you're looking for more contacts, it always helps to fill your free time with joining clubs or doing other activities. Learning some martial arts for example, learning an instrument, going for some language courses, anything really.
Also, whenever you meet up with friends, try to organize some group activities, and encourage them to bring along their friends, too.
You can do whatever comes to mind, as long as you have an opportunity to get into contact with other people. The more you do that, the higher the probability will be that you'll find people you can get along with and relate to.
Disabled freaks and nerds? Jesus Christ, give me a break.
Me said:
Like I mentioned before.
Well, being social and going out involves that, whether you like it or not. You'll have to find a certain compromise and see what's more important to you: being social or being afraid of crowds.
Chances are you'll get used to it once you spend more time outdoors. Trust me, I've been through exactly the same development.
Are you absolutely serious? Cause I'm not sure if that's even biologically possible. :l
Kay, I'm here, as promised.
First of all, why do you keep calling yourself a nerd and degrading yourself? What's the point? This is probably the biggest problem with your self-confidence; you keep putting yourself below others, but you don't have to do that.
Heck, you even were able to start a relationship with a female who was interested in you. You've already done much MUCH better than most "nerds" alone with that achievement.
And second, this "geniune" relationship you speak of is rare. Soulmates don't come flying to you on their own just like that. Hell, some people spend their whole life looking for such a person and never manage to.
There's no guarantee you'll ever get there; but what you can do, is increasing your chances by going out there and being on the lookout, i.e. being open to people and getting to know them. And to do that, you have to stop judging people by stereotpyes (nerds, shallow girls, and all that other bullshit).
If you're looking for more contacts, it always helps to fill your free time with joining clubs or doing other activities. Learning some martial arts for example, learning an instrument, going for some language courses, anything really.
Also, whenever you meet up with friends, try to organize some group activities, and encourage them to bring along their friends, too.
You can do whatever comes to mind, as long as you have an opportunity to get into contact with other people. The more you do that, the higher the probability will be that you'll find people you can get along with and relate to.
Disabled freaks and nerds? Jesus Christ, give me a break.
Like I mentioned before.
Well, being social and going out involves that, whether you like it or not. You'll have to find a certain compromise and see what's more important to you: being social or being afraid of crowds.
Chances are you'll get used to it once you spend more time outdoors. Trust me, I've been through exactly the same development.
Are you absolutely serious? Cause I'm not sure if that's even biologically possible. :l
Leonard:
1) why do I do it? it's because it's true that's why... because people stereotypes are based on certain facts about people, IE nerds for Example: Glasses-wearing, Abnormally 'smarter than the average bear', often teacher's pets, (mind you Nerds don't wear striped shirts and pocket protectors anymore at least I don't.) and I know I don't have to degrade myself.
2)as for my first girlfriend. It was an achievement, I know... but did you read my earlier posts? she was a mooch! she only wanted me for my stuff... and boy... I hate to sound mean to her here but she wasn't even cute... the reason why I dumped her was because I realized: 'I could do better than this' but now I'm starting to regret it...
and for the activities: I recently joined a robotics club and I know all of the people there though...including my first girlfriend...
I mostly joined because I wanted to pass time on tuesdays and thursdays so I could catch the bus with one of my other friends... (She had basketball, her friend and I had Robotics) Also for hobbies I practice my guitar, maybe play keyboard.
Disabled freaks and nerds) Believe me... I have a friend who's dying from a tumor in his cheek the size of a football
I do have that development too... depending on the weather depends on what I do... (Summer and spring: Go out for a walk. Fall: watch the sunset, Winter: go out and shovel snow.)
Everybody has a different opinion on it alright? I just happen to not like it.
Have you ever heard the phrase "statistics mean nothing to the individual"? Same applies here. The individual human is more complex than that. Anybody saying they can foresee the outcome of their interactions with another person, just by applying a stereotype to them, is a liar. You don't even know what circumstances might've led to their outward appearance.
It's better to let go of that way of thinking.
But still, she is a female who was attracted enough to you to try and get in your pants. That sounds good enough to me. Look, you said once that you were "at the end of the foodchain". I'm just trying to convince you that you're not.
Well that's a decent start, isn't it? You can use that to join a band, maybe at school or something. Like I said, as long as you're around people.
I'm not saying you shouldn't have those friends, I'm just saying you shouldn't limit your contacts to that particular group of people because you think you can't get along with anybody else.
That's not exactly "crowd material", but yeah. I was talking more aboutgoing shopping at a mall or something of that sort. And like I said, you'll probably get used to it, or at least feel less uncomfortable.
Renn,
Gosh I know how you feel,
for some people being single really sucks. I HATE it really. anyone who's known me personally for any real length of time that I almost above all else hate being single. and yes at times it gets me depressed. I've even come to the point at times where I've lost hope for... moments at time. but I realize that I'm not ruled by these situations, and that I still have most of my life ahead of me. True. it's been years for me. and I've had some bad love experiences that would probably for most men give them a bad outlook on women...
By all rights Renn, I should be more depressed than you. Yet if you talk to anyone who'd been close to me. They'll tell you that through it all I'm keeping a smile on my face. and I'm not bogging down the rest of my life with problems. Take into account the good you have going for you... (and if you say that you don't have anything, you aren't thinking very seriously).
Renn,
A major life goal for me is to get married. I want to share my life with someone so badly that I'm almost tired of waiting. I mean jeez I remember a blog I wrote where I practically said that if someone seem remotely interested in dating me I'd be tempted to buy the ring the next day... at times I almost still feel that way.
but you know what? I am refusing to think I will get noone... I'm refusing to think that someone I will get will be someone I regret, AND, I've made it my FIRM RESOLUTE AND ABSOLUTE decision that I'm going to get a girlfriend this year. and I'm positive i'm going to do it.
Now... What is this going to take? I have issues within myself that I need to resolve yes... I have social issues, just as you. I have self esteem issues, just as you. I'm willing to work on myself to get there... what about you Renn?
Yes... This going to be harder than it looks, and easier said then done... but if all you do is remain in this negative state and not looking at peoples honest advice... You are going to hate yourself... and I know. I've been there
wow...
Renn, you have a major problem identifying your ego
Gosh I know how you feel,
for some people being single really sucks. I HATE it really. anyone who's known me personally for any real length of time that I almost above all else hate being single. and yes at times it gets me depressed. I've even come to the point at times where I've lost hope for... moments at time. but I realize that I'm not ruled by these situations, and that I still have most of my life ahead of me. True. it's been years for me. and I've had some bad love experiences that would probably for most men give them a bad outlook on women...
By all rights Renn, I should be more depressed than you. Yet if you talk to anyone who'd been close to me. They'll tell you that through it all I'm keeping a smile on my face. and I'm not bogging down the rest of my life with problems. Take into account the good you have going for you... (and if you say that you don't have anything, you aren't thinking very seriously).
Renn,
A major life goal for me is to get married. I want to share my life with someone so badly that I'm almost tired of waiting. I mean jeez I remember a blog I wrote where I practically said that if someone seem remotely interested in dating me I'd be tempted to buy the ring the next day... at times I almost still feel that way.
but you know what? I am refusing to think I will get noone... I'm refusing to think that someone I will get will be someone I regret, AND, I've made it my FIRM RESOLUTE AND ABSOLUTE decision that I'm going to get a girlfriend this year. and I'm positive i'm going to do it.
Now... What is this going to take? I have issues within myself that I need to resolve yes... I have social issues, just as you. I have self esteem issues, just as you. I'm willing to work on myself to get there... what about you Renn?
Yes... This going to be harder than it looks, and easier said then done... but if all you do is remain in this negative state and not looking at peoples honest advice... You are going to hate yourself... and I know. I've been there
wow...
Renn, you have a major problem identifying your ego
Thanks David, you've posted one of the most genuine pieces of advice that I've seen. (Leonard, you were good too, I recognize your effort too, Thank you as well)
Like you say about yourself, You carry yourself on the positive things in life... Bad news is, I don't have many of those to go on, I do the same though. I can maintain a positive view on life I just seem like I don't. And things seem to be perking up for me recently. And as I am one who tends to finish work efficiently (Fast and effective), so that leaves me with tons of time to myself in class... and I end up thinking about how bad my life's been so far... I know other people who have it worse. But I still feel bad nonetheless.
But honestly, what am I going to do about it? Currently, now thanks to this and recent developments, I know what I might be doing in the possible-near-future for me. One says that 'If you have an issue, try to occupy yourself, and so think on the task at hand, and not on the issue unless it is concerned.' And something might just develop for me to do just that.
Like you say about yourself, You carry yourself on the positive things in life... Bad news is, I don't have many of those to go on, I do the same though. I can maintain a positive view on life I just seem like I don't. And things seem to be perking up for me recently. And as I am one who tends to finish work efficiently (Fast and effective), so that leaves me with tons of time to myself in class... and I end up thinking about how bad my life's been so far... I know other people who have it worse. But I still feel bad nonetheless.
But honestly, what am I going to do about it? Currently, now thanks to this and recent developments, I know what I might be doing in the possible-near-future for me. One says that 'If you have an issue, try to occupy yourself, and so think on the task at hand, and not on the issue unless it is concerned.' And something might just develop for me to do just that.
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