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I mean, Namine said she hated her father about 3 times in a few paragraphs. Like that.
It's very good though. The dialogue gave a good play between Axel's and Saix's states of mind and habits of talk. (though the Negative nancy was a bit random) I take it the girl is Esmerelda?
And was it Saix talking about killing Roxas?
Mind pointing out where? Just that DiZ is nobility?
And I saw you repped me... do you want some in return?
No, Ziz, you didn't. You'll have to quote where it is. You've got DiZ being a nobility and Axel chasing a girl. Nothing in there says "Her name is Ino"
And, no. I give my rep out sparingly. (Though I thank you for yours)