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Fanfiction ► Crystal vs. Key, The battle of Sora's life



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Coldman9

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Ok since no one seems to like me last fan fic I was struck with an idea for a new one. Respond to this one please people.
Chapter 1
Found​
Sora looked over the vast blue ocean from the tiny island where he sat on the poupo tree. He was glad to be home and relaxing with his friends and telling the stories of his adventures to an unbelieving Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie. As he moved he heard a jingling in his pocket and remembered the necklace he had bought for Kairi.

He took it out and began looking over it again, it was simple metal, all he could afford really, shiny in the light of the setting sun, a long chain ran through his fingers and as the charm on it rested in his palm. Two separate hearts connected by a star shaped fruit between them with Sora on one heart and Kairi written on the other. Her birthday was coming up and knew he had only one shot to get things right.

As he heard the door across the bridge open he quickly stuffed the necklace in his pocket and continued enjoying the sunset. Riku walked over and leaned back against the tree, unusually quiet. Since they had come back to the islands Riku had been the one to tell most of the stories escept for the ones only Sora could know.

"Sora?" Riku asked,

Sora continuing to look at the sunset replied,"Yeah?"

"What do we do now that it's all pretty much done?" Riku asked. Sora hadn't thought much about that.

"I don't know. I just thought we'd get called back or found if something new comes up."

"That's just it Sora,"said Riku,"what if nothing comes up. I mean I love being back but that doesn't mean that I don't want to see some more worlds either."

Sora jumped down from the tree and said in a light tone, "Well we deffinently didn't destroy all the Heartless and Malificent's still out there, plus who knows what other group of crazy nutcases wanna make thier own Kingdom Hearts as well. Don't worry Riku, we are deffinently gonna get called out to help sometime." a smile spread over Riku's face as he looked at Sora and the conviction in his eyes.

Suddenly Sora bolted off towards his boat by the dock and yelled back to Riku,"Last one to the Shack buys icecream!" hearing those words Riku ran determined not to buy Sora the most expensive thing on the menu as he was sure to order it if Riku was buying.
*************************************************************************************
Kairi sat at a table watching the setting sun while other teenagers around her were talking and socializing. Then looking into the distance she saw Riku and Sora running full speed toward the resturant. Others quickly took notice and began shouting encouragment for the one they wanted to win. Some cheered for Sora and some for Riku, ever since they had left and come back thier competitions and stories had got everyone's attention.

They were even more popular and the girls were all over them. Someone took it upon themselves to roll a piece of ribbon between two columns and make a finish line to determine the winner. Sora and Riku quickly came up and broke the ribbon at the same time ending with everyone groaning with a tie. They fell into the nearest chairs panting for breath and exhausted.

Kairi got up and walked over to them and said,"You two need something drink."

Sora replied inbetween breaths,"No, - need - icecream - Riku's - treat."

Riku looked over at Sora and rebutted,"It - was - a - tie.- I - don't - buy - anything."

Kairi said with a little laugh,"I'll buy the icecream if you two will just have something to drink." They nodded to out of breath to talk more. It took her about five minutes to go to the bar, order something, have it made, and come back but when she came back people were crowding around them, the girls fighting for the closest seats of course, leaving barely any room for her to squeeze by. The questions began flying from all directions and Sora and Riku were doing thier best to answer all they could. Girls batting thier eyes and doing anything to attract attention when Riku or Sora's eye range came anywhere close to them.

Kairi slammed thier drinks down, spilling some of it, and pushed her way through the crowd to get out. Sora took a quick drink then got up and said,"Riku entertain them for a little." then pushed through to go after Kairi.

He found her outside sitting on the grass on the hill the Shack was built on. He sat down by her in the light of dusk getting darker every minute, she had been like that for awhile, her usual caring, kind, laughing self when all three were alone but if a crowd began forming she got really angry and gave them the cold shoulder. After a short time Kairi growled,"What are you doing out here? Your fan club is waiting inside."

Sora replied,"Well my fans can wait to get a piece of me." smiling and looking over to see if she got the joke. She just continued to watch the horizon with a glare in her eyes, her legs up with her arms crosed over them and her nose sitting on top of her arms.

He desparatly asked,"C'mon Kairi, what's going on? You're just not yourself." Kairi continued to be silent and suddenly a chilly breeze swept up making her shiver. Sora took off the jacket part of his attire and put it around her shoulders.

She shrugged it off and replied,"I don't want it." coldly.

Now that he was aggitated Sora got right in front of her and asked,"O.K. just what is your problem!"sternly.

Kairi replied,"I'm not the one with a problem. I wait an entire year for you two and when we come back at every turn you're mobbed by a crowd when we're supposed to be spending time together. I can barely get through to you when they're around and you want to know what my problem is?" and ending it t she greew quiet again. Sora began to snicker and when Kairi started to look up at him he broke out laughing.

When he noticed her glaring he stopped and said,"So that's what's been bothering you. Kairi me and Riku are just getting our fifteen minutes of fame. Once this dies down we'll all be able to spend time together and no one will bother us. Me and Riku aren't going off anywhere anytime soon either." and sat back down beside her. "Besides now that we know what's bothering you me and Riku'll set aside some time for you." Kairi took her head out of her arms and looked as best she could at him in the near darkness.

Another breeze began she shivered again. Sora put his jacket back on her and asked,"You're not gonna take it off this time right?"

She uncrossed her arms and pulled it around her and replied,"No."

"What do you two think you doing, just leaving me to them like that!" said Riku behind them.

They looked behind them as he picked them up by thier arms and started dragging them back toward the building. "You both are gonna help me answer thier questions cause they are really eager tonight." he told them.

Kairi objected,"But I wasn't there. I can't answer all their questions."

Riku said to her,"Yeah, but you were there for the most important parts and you'll deffinently be answering those." and dragged both of them into the well lit warm resturant. They didn't notice the shooting star slowly heading through the night sky.

Sora was lying on his bed looking out into the night sky. Even though he was exhausted he still had this nagging feeling in the back of his head like something was bad but he just couldn't think of what it was. Wind blew through his window jingling the wind chimes hung there then all of a sudden it hit him

"The necklace is in my jacket and Kairi has my jacket!" he thought. He wanted to suprise Kairi with it and her finding out about it without him just made him feel hopeless. Without a second thought he jumped out his window and started running toward her house. Luckily the dirt roads were lit with the light of houses rooms through windows. People were settling in for the night.

He knew she usually kept her window open at night and when he got to her house he found her having dinner with her family so he started the climb to her window. He managed to get in and took a look around, everything was neat and in place unlike his messy room. He quickly saw his jacket folded up on her bed and luckily the pocket the necklace was in was face up. He dug in and grabbed it. As he heard footsteps coming up the stairway he paniced and quickly looking for a place to hide he slid under her bed.

Kairi walked in and closed the door behind her. She started humming a tune as she headed over to her closet and opened it up. Sora was trying to think of a way to get out when he noticed that whe had removed the outer part of her dress.

"She's changing for the night." thought Sora as he began to turn red,"No I shouldn't look, it's not the right thing to do. The Keyblade Bearer is not a pervert."

But boyhood took over as he slowly peeked his head out so he could see. His jaw hit the floor at what he saw. He couldn't believe what he was doing and what he was seeing and he knew he was never going to see Kairi the same way again.

He quickly hid back under the bed when she turned around and got redressed and waited for an hour until he was sure she was asleep. He quietly got out and stood up. As he turned towards the window he noticed that even though she had the covers on his jacket was sprawled out over her. He quickly got beside her bed and pulled it up to her shoulders, a smile coming to her face as he turned to leave.

Back on the road Sora took a right instead of a left and headed for the beach. When he got there there was only enough light to dimly see the water and sand. He sat down at the waters edge and looked at the necklace again. He held it in his left hand and summoned the Keyblade with his right hand. As he looked at it he thought,"I've beaten the darkness, fought countless Heartless, sealed the door to darkness, faced off Organization XIII, and I can't begin to imagine giving her this!"

He sat there for some time losing track of it until he notice that almost all the lights had gone out. He got up and started waking back home with the Keyblade still in his hand when he began to notice something moving. He couldn't make it out but he could tell it had two bright, yellow eyes. He ran towards it and destroyed it leaving only a black wisp and a heart being freed. However he was filled with terror when he turned around and saw numerous other standing there.

"Not here! Not again!" Sora said with anger as he ran towards them, Keyblade flashing as he swung it around dodging their attacks and delivering his own.

After what seemed like an eternity Sora grew tired and looking around him saw that they just kept coming. He kept fighting but as exhausted as he was he could now only defend. He looked around hopelessly when all of a sudden a wall of bright blue flames began sweeping across the beach eliminating the Heartless in it's path. He braced himself as it came but felt no heat or impact and saw as he opened his eyes that it swirled around him and that it not only destroyed Heartless but also freed hearts as well.

The wall of flame finished it's job and began swirling back to where it had begun and Sora saw that it congrigated into someone's hand. There was enough time to see shoulder length black hair, piercing red eyes in a handsome face, a black coat open in the front revealing a tan muscular chest.

"So I guess even sometimes the Keyblade Master needs help." said the stranger as Sora could see in the little light left his outline began moving closer to him when it fell to it's knees and cried out in pain.

Sora quickly ran over to the person and asked,"What's wrong?"

The person responded,"I used too much energy in that last one. You're a handfull to save but first impressions always count." in a strained and pained but joking tone. then suddenly it fell flat on the ground and rolled over.

Sora said,"Hold on I'll get some help!"urgently.

As he turned and got up the person grabbed his arm and said,"I'm Maverick."then fell unconscience.
 
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PKKzelfar

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nice!
but you should work on the length or seperate into chapters
like:
ep. 1- _____ chapter 1/3 - ____________
 

N0thing

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yeah i agree with PKK.it's a nice story but i think you really need to work on the length.
it's way too long. you can put it in chapters.
 

Ban Mido

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You should definately break it into chapters and paragraphs. Big blocks of wrighting like that could be kind of imtimadateing.
 

Ban Mido

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Wait, What? You just post the rest of your story in this thread. Just copy and paste what you have done every time you update your fic.
 

Ban Mido

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One more thing: Don't double post when if can be avoided. There's an edit button in every post you make.
 

Coldman9

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Chapter 2
A Friend From A New World

Riku was running down the street towards Sora's house. After getting his message Riku couldn't keep from running as he thought,"Heartless! Here?!" and finally reached his destination. He snuck around to the small guest house in the back and once inside he called out,"Sora!" Sora appeared from another room and said,"I'm here. Riku you gotta help me." and led him to another room where Maverick was lying on a bed, still unconscience.

Riku walked over and took a good look at the guy. He had shoulder length black hair, handsome features, wore a black coat opened up in the front revealing a tanned chest with pants like the ones he wore, and as far as he could tell it ended with black boots that had a worn look. "So this is the guy that saved you, huh?" asked Riku as he finished looking. "He said his name is Maverick." replied Sora as he looked bervously between them.

"He's just exhausted. Let him sleep it off." said Riku as he turned to leave.

"I did." said Maverick prompting both Riku and Sora to look back on the bed.

He was sitting up and then turned so that his feet were on the ground. He raised his head and showed then a smile as he said,"You look suprised. You didn't expect me to sleep forever did ya?"

"No, but the way you acted i thought you were really hurt." replied Sora

"I just used too much energy. It's not a good thing to do but it's nothing to get worried about." said Maverick and looked at them both, resting his gaze on Sora he said"So you're the Keyblade Master. You're younger than i thought."

"Well look at yourself, you're not much older." replied Riku with a annoyed tone.

"I take it from that tone that you're Riku. Nice to meet the both of ya at once." responded Maverick and then stood up and offered out his hand to shake.

They both shook and Riku began asking questions,"Why are you here?"

"Cause of the both of you." answered Maverick

"Why us?"asked Sora.

Maverick seemed to enjoy answering, "Well you're both Keyblade bearers, you're known everywhere on my world. You see the Keyblade has deep roots in my world's history, we have a connected destiny with it. But recently we've come across hard times, Heartless, Nobodies, and the world itself is starting to sink into darkness."

Before Sora could ask something else Riku butted in,"Wait, you just said you're from another world right? Well then how did you get here without a gummi ship?"

Sora grew quiet as he realized just what a good question that was.

Maverick answered,"Well if you're strong enough there are corridoors you can use that aren't dark to move between worlds. The only problem is that it takes a lot of energy to do so and when you come out into the world you want you can't just start fighting."

Now that Riku was done Sora asked his question,"What's your world like and what's it's name?"

Maverick seemed pleased to answer as a smile spread across his face as he began talking,"It's called Yearie, it's a small world like this one except the ocean views aren't as good. There's plenty of trees and lots of mountains, and waterfalls that are a hoot to jump off from." and his eye's kinda glazed over as a sad smile filled his face thinking of his home.

"We desperatly need your help, the world is falling apart and you're the only ones that can do anything!" he said suddenly and there was a begging tone in his voice.

Sora and Riku looked at each other thinking the same thing, "We gotta help him." then turned to him and Sora said,"We'll help. Just give us a few minutes to get things ready." and they left the guest house heading off to prepare.
*************************************************************************************
Thirty minutes later they were back in the guest house with packs and clean clothes on.

"Is that everything you'll need?" asked Maverick.

Riku and Sora nodded together and Riku looked to Sora and said,"I left Kairi a note telling her where we went. She's gonna be so mad when we get back." thinking of that Sora asked Maverick another question.

"Can we get this done in a few days? We gotta be back here or else she'll really be mad." jhe asked.

Riku looked confused for a second and then remembered,"Her birthday."

Maverick nodded and answered,"Yeah this will all probably be over in a few days." then reached out his arm and clenching it into a fist opened a hole that shone bright and through it Sora and Riku could see a forest with tall mountains in the distance.

They stepped through and stood on Yearie.
 
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Ban Mido

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Well done. Its much better. no big paragraphs to clutter up the page, makng it easier to read, and there is no confusion on who is saying what. It's much easier to get into the story than it was before, it being presented like this. It really shows that a good story, if not presented properly, won't get across to the reader. It's much better than it was.


Great Job!:thumbsup:
 
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