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Ehres

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One of my Italian Translation class assignments was to translate a two-paragraph report on infidelity but I'm having some problems with the English. This is a research/statistical/academic report.

Here's my translation.

The Hard Truth About Love and Infidelity

For couples of all types, there is a bout of bad news: the probability of cheating on the partner in a relationship, determined by a Canadian study, is very high---from 42% to 76%. Of course, the figures have also surprised researchers of the Department of Psychology at the University of Montreal, which lead the study. It is also the first one to try to determine a scientific explanation for a behaviour which puts at risk families and long-lasting relationships.

"These are very high figures," admits Dr. Geneviève Pelletier.

Scientists have tried to understand in particular whether infidelity has a tie to a phobia of commitment present since infancy, on which the behaviour of the parents at home has an essential influence, witnessed since an early age.

Canadian researchers have monitored the behaviour of 145 students, aged on average 23 years. 68% had thought of being unfaithful while 41% had been. Among these people the results have highlighted a strong correlation between unfaithfulness and forbidding themselves from forming an attachment with others. The moral of the story? Infidelity could be a precise emotional strategy adopted by those who have difficulty with attachment and commitment. By cheating, they distance themselves from their partners and keep their freedom and space, scientists explain. The only 'consolation' in the face of this fact is the substantial similarity between the two sexes: she cheats as much as he does.
 
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Ehres

` dragon dance
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The report is in Italian. My task was to translate it into English, and the above translation is my result. I just need some help making the English sound better.
 

Solar

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Oh, I thought you meant whether the report was accurate.

I'll edit this to share any help

EDIT: why is there a slash between "been" and "witnessed" in the fourth paragraph?

The rest is good, I found the last paragraph excellent. However the first paragraph sounds off, perhaps its my paranoia. I just dislike the way it all rolls off my tongue. The first sentence, to be exact
 

Ehres

` dragon dance
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Oh, I thought you meant whether the report was accurate.

I'll edit this to share any help

EDIT: why is there a slash between "been" and "witnessed" in the fourth paragraph?

The rest is good, I found the last paragraph excellent. However the first paragraph sounds off, perhaps its my paranoia. I just dislike the way it all rolls off my tongue. The first sentence, to be exact

There are a few slashes throughout the translation; they're two options I thought of using but I'm not sure which sounds better.

But, yeah, I hate that first line. Been trying to think of a good English equivalent for ages. :/

take out the second which in the first paragraph desu

Okie dokes.
 

Solar

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Well the edited version looks fine to me, I had to read the third paragraph twice but that might've been a personal error
 
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