Help/Support ► Breaking-up with a friend.

[Ballad of Caius]

Have you ever had a breaking-up with a friend? If so, was it hard? Have you overcome that particular stage of your life?

Let me start:

Spoiler Show

I had a best friend, like a brother from another mother. We were friends since middle school, up until after our senior year ended. It was August or September. He wrote some serious stuff on Twitter. A couple of hours later, I contacted him on Facebook with our trivial humorous discussion that Android (my favorite OS) is better than his (iOS). Afterwards, I asked him if he wanted to talk about something. He did not reply, so I asked him: assuming you do not want to talk about it, could I tell you something? He said "No", but it did not stop there. He insulted me, saying I had problems, all because I wanted to try and approach him about the things he typed on Twitter. Anyhow, I left that aside and decide to ignore him (mind you, he likes doing this to anyone, and by anyone, yes, I mean it in every sense of the word: friends and relatives). He would ignore text messages from his mother, brother, girlfriend, best friends, anyone. Again, I decided to ignore him, but afterwards, him, me and other three friends were planning on going back to have some fun at our high school with some of the teachers. Since I was very busy with College, on the Facebook group chat we had, I said that, because I had a lot of college-related stuff to do, I could not participate. Ever. One of the other friends, an idiot, said: no one's talking with ya. I replied: since I'm part of the conversation I assumed I was still part of it (it being the meet-up). Him: no one asked you. Then they all started laughing and even my "best friend" started making comments about: yeah! Tell him! (Basically adding fuel to the fire). Funny, that same friend that back-talked me was the same one that either tried to steal the girl my friend wanted or he just wanted to try and humiliate him in front of his ex-girlfriend. He knew it and even decided to not talk with him much (but that was all talk, since after breaking-up with his girlfriend a guy he knew started flirting her and this for some reason irked him. He did not like the guy afterwards, but he still talked with him, joked with him and even help him enter the Air Force and where to go and stuff). Days passed, I was still part of the conversation, this somehow "ticked" him and would rant that I should be removed (I assumed the one that initiated the group chat could remove the members back then, and since I simply did not want to leave, over pride, I stayed). This would go on and on and on and on and... on... Yeah. After that I stopped talking to him, really. I am in college and afterward I shall enter the world of a job, as in, I shall meet a lot of people. Hell, I am friends with one of my State's top political positions and she dedicates me more time than that individual did. Sometimes I would message him and the text would never see a reply or it would say it was seen by him. She, a VERY busy person, even if hours later, would reply. Since he was leaving for the Marines, it might as well have been a good opportunity to leave things behind me since we will never see each other again, and if otherwise, if the situation calls for it, I'll just greet him like people I do not know: Hey! How are you? And as you may contemplate, yes, I have overcome that particular stage of my life. It was not the first time we had a sort of break-up, so the deception this time was not a tear-dropping experience like the past one did. But to be honest, looking back, it is incredible how human relationships can change in a whim. Six years all thrown away over something so small and stupid.

But yes, have you had a break-up?

 

[blksabbath74]

Sorry, you lost me at 'Brother from another mother.'

Seriously, most of your friendships will come and go throughout your lift e as your situation changes. Just enjoy the freinds you have. In the present.

 

[Bobjam]

I think it is amazing how you can spend so much time with someone when you are younger, growing up, sharing all these experiences and then suddenly they start becoming this person that makes you forget all that and only see the negative. As Sabbath said its all about the people in the present =). Sorry to hear about your friend but it is also amazing the kinds of people you will meet as you go into the working world and make your own way through it. I had to let go of a best friend a few years ago and it is tough and horrible to do but for me was a good decision to make for the long term. It was a 14 year friendship thrown away and just because I he became so different in such a short space of time but sometimes its necessary.

 

[Oracle Spockanort]

Life is about enjoying the gifts it gives you. Friends will come and go, but rather than thinking it was a waste, just consider it a part of your life that you have gained an experience from. The fun and joy you had with them isn't trivialized because you are no longer friends with them. Treasure it all, and then let go.

Hm...I guess you could say I broke up with my best friend of 7-8 years? Maybe not a break up, but a definite shift in the state of our friendship.

Spoiler Show

It was so weird because the rift grew out of the clear blue. I saw the signs in high school when she was spending more time with other people who she shared more common interests with. We fixed things once they came to light, though, but I think that might have been the start of the big rift.

Anyways, we were as close as sisters. We did everything together, I could practically read her mind we were that close.

We were going to colleges half way across the country from each other, but we stayed in contact and it wasn't so bad. It really wasn't until I think 2010 that it was really obvious how distant we were from each other emotionally. The day my uncle was dying in the hospital, I was texting her and called her to talk and she didn't really know how to comfort her. I knew that she didn't know how to handle death herself. She told me about her experience when a relative died and how it just made her uncomfortable to think of, but who else was going to call? Then when I went home and found out he died I needed her but she didn't answer my call or text and idk...

In 2011 she tried to get me to do this summer day camp-like thing with her at this religious youth place. It was fun, but I could feel the distance between the two of us even though we were enjoying it together. We also went to a theme park one day with her younger sisters, some of her friends during one of her visits home. Idk it didn't seem like we were there together at all.

We laid out all of our feelings last year on her birthday via text since she she's working out of state and I guess it put me at ease about the whole thing. She thought I didn't like spending time with her anymore, and I thought she just didn't enjoy having me around because I was boring or something.

We've stayed in contact since then, but nothing constant but I don't feel like my life is over like I did throughout 2011-early 2013. She's an amazing person and she helped to shape a pretty important part of my life. Our friendship has taken a new form, and while we aren't as close as we used to be I'm fine with that. As long as she's happy, alive, and succeeding in what she is doing, I'm cool.