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BN Rant 2.0! Huzzah!



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Blackest Night

High Priest of Sloanism
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All BN rants from this point on shall have my seal of approval. ^_^

I have free time right now and I figured I'd invest it into something productive. However, I ended up doing this. Sloan be praised!

1. To all of you idiots out there in intarwebz land. My avatar is NOT my picture. I repeat, my avatar is NOT my picture. It is Ed Sloan of Crossfade. If yu knew anythign about me, you would know why I have that there. If I looked like Ed Sloan, I would not be spending my summer mornings and late nights on a forum.

This is me.
See the difference?

2. Pepsi owns your soul. It is delicious and MUCH better than Coke. Coke is the milk of the infidel.

3. Absolutely no online or long distance relationship is a serious relationship. If you believe you are having a serious relationship during one of these, I suggest you receive a gunshot wound to the face because you are an idiot.

In a related matter, I shall voice my opinion on those who marry their high school sweethearts. It is adorable, yes. It is also the worst move of your life. Are you aware of the number of potential betters there are in the world? That high school sweetheart of yours is going to be waking up to you for the next 50 years. Eventually, she's not going to be "cute" anymore.​

4. Sloan owns you

5. It is my opinion that Bill Clinton is among the finest presidents ever to grace the United States. Mr. Clinton made the presidency fun again. He let it be known that you can have a widely publicized sex scandal in the highest position in the world and STILL manage to come out of it smelling like roses. I tip my hat to you, Mr. Clinton and may Sloan continue to bless you and your secks.

6. V for Vendetta is an incredible movie. For all you morons out there who cannot manage a "suspension of disbelief", I suggest that you kindly jump off the nearest cliff. It is a well written movie with marvelous visual scenes. The Valerie sequence ranks among my top movie moments.

7. A list of things I either do not like, hate or despise their very existence:

A)Coke
B) Bible Thumpers
C) N00bs
D) Those who blaspheme against Crossfade.
E) Pretentious jerks who have no reason to be a pretentious jerk.
F) Emo bands, people, movies, songs, so forth.
G) "Punk" bands such as Simple Plan, Good Charlotte, etc. WHen you are 35 or older and your voice sounds like a prepubescent girl with helium, it is time you exit the music business.
H) Kikyowhereareu
I) Soradude
J) AngelofDestiny, simply because I remember her actions and attitude all too well.
K) Alphabetical lists of things I do not like, hate or despise.
L) L337sp34k LAWLZ
There are more, but I am eager to move onto other points.​

8) Mario is a communist. http://www.aethiamud.org/communist_mario/ There is your proof.

9) Link is a Nazi. He is a blond haired, blue eyed Aryan dream who constantly saves a blonde haired, blue eyed princess from dark-skinned, red-haired, big-nosed bad guys. In Hylian mythology, the Hylians served a "greater purpose" as the messengers of the Gods, because their pointed ears allowed them greater hearing, effectively placing the blonde-haired, blue-eyed Hylians above the normal humans.

10) Dora the Explorer is an idiotic child who wanders the woods and wilds without any form of parental supervision and speaks to smiling, inanimate objects with the help of her shoe-wearing, multi-lingual purple monkey. I smell acid trip.

That is it for now, dearies.
 
Last edited:

Chris

I share this account w/ my mom lmao
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10) Dora the Explorer is an idiotic child who wanders the woods and wilds without any form of parental supervision and speks to smiling, inaminate objects with the help of her shoe-wearing, multi-lingual purple monkey. I smell acid trip.
Aw hell yea.
 
I

inhiding

Guest
10) Dora the Explorer is an idiotic child who wanders the woods and wilds without any form of parental supervision and speks to smiling, inaminate objects with the help of her shoe-wearing, multi-lingual purple monkey. I smell acid trip.
You forget the part where Dora is always asking the viewer to do stuff for her. This implies that she is a lazy Mexican; ergo, the show is racist.

All-in-all, very nice rant.
 

Alaude Drenxta

\+The Devil's+/ .{Advocate}.
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1. To all of you idiots out there in intarwebz land. My avatar is NOT my picture. I repeat, my avatar is NOT my picture. It is Ed Sloan of Crossfade. If yu knew anythign about me, you would know why I have that there. If I looked like Ed Sloan, I would not be spending my summer mornings and late nights on a forum.
*you
*anything

Now, I'm sure you wished you did though. =D

2. Pepsi owns your soul. It is delicious and MUCH better than Coke. Coke is the milk of the infidel.
h00 kars?

3. Absolutely no online or long distance relationship is a serious relationship. If you eleive you are having a serious relationship during one of these, I suggest you receive a gunshot wound to the face because you are an idiot.
srsly? U no dat? FUNNEH.

5. It is my opinion that Bill Clinton is among the finest presidents ever to grace the United States. Mr. Clinton made the presidency fun again. He let it be known that you can have a widely publicized sex scandal in the highest position in the world and STILL manage to come out of it smelling like roses. I tip my hat to you, Mr. Clinton and may Sloan continue to bless you and your secks.
Damn right.

6. V for Vendetta is an incredible movie. For all you morons out there who cannot manage a "suspension of disbelief", I suggest that you kindly jump off the nearest cliff. It is a well written movie with marvelous visual scenes. The Valerie sequence ranks among my top movie moments
It sucked.

. A list of things I either do not like, hate or despise their very existence:
~concurred

9) Link is a Nazi.
We know.

10) Dora the Explorer is an idiotic child who wanders the woods and wilds without any form of parental supervision and speks to smiling, inaminate objects with the help of her shoe-wearing, multi-lingual purple monkey. I smell acid trip.
I was thinking shrooms but that works too. =D


All around, nice job. A few more grammatical inefficiences than last time.
 

Savior of Dawn

Leader of the Dai Gurren Brigade
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Blackest Night said:
10) Dora the Explorer is an idiotic child who wanders the woods and wilds without any form of parental supervision and speks to smiling, inaminate objects with the help of her shoe-wearing, multi-lingual purple monkey. I smell acid trip.
Watch an episode of PeeWee's Playhouse and realize it was designed for children. Electronically transmitted acid, FTW.

BP said:
It sucked.
Now, the question is.. What did it suck? I liked it, but I still prefer the graphic novel.


...Why am I not on this list? Oh well, nonetheless, I'll have to agree with this.

HAIL HYRULE!
 

Valentine

almost human.
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BLASPHEMER! MAY THE HIGHER POWERS OF HYRULE REIN FIRE AND BRIMSTONE DOWN UPON YOUR HEATHEN SOUL! THE SEAS WILL BOIL! THE SUN WILL GO BLACK! THE MOON WILL GLOW BLOOD RED! ALL FOR YOUR DEMISE!

Just kidding, you're terrific.
 

Xiao

serious at least all of the time
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2. Pepsi owns your soul. It is delicious and MUCH better than Coke. Coke is the milk of the infidel.
i second that

3. Absolutely no online or long distance relationship is a serious relationship. If you believe you are having a serious relationship during one of these, I suggest you receive a gunshot wound to the face because you are an idiot.
i second that

In a related matter, I shall voice my opinion on those who marry their college sweethearts. It is adorable, yes. It is also the worst move of your life. Are you aware of the number of potential betters there are in the world? That high school sweetheart of yours is going to be waking up to you for the next 50 years. Eventually, she's not going to be "cute" anymore.
i second that

It is my opinion that Bill Clinton is among the finest presidents ever to grace the United States. Mr. Clinton made the presidency fun again. He let it be known that you can have a widely publicized sex scandal in the highest position in the world and STILL manage to come out of it smelling like roses. I tip my hat to you, Mr. Clinton and may Sloan continue to bless you and your secks.
AND I SECOND THAT TOO. notice how the country was in pretty good shape with clinton. now look at bush. NOT LOOKING TOO GOOD NOW, ARE WE?!?!?. dammit.

"Punk" bands such as Simple Plan, Good Charlotte, etc. WHen you are 35 or older and your voice sounds like a prepubescent girl with helium, it is time you exit the music business.
yes. down with them all.

L337sp34k LAWLZ
dont even get me started on that

Dora the Explorer is an idiotic child who wanders the woods and wilds without any form of parental supervision and speks to smiling, inaminate objects with the help of her shoe-wearing, multi-lingual purple monkey. I smell acid trip.
quite true. heh.
 

Aucune Raison

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Lol, nice job BN. Especially with the Link as a Nazi and Mario as a Communist. Keep on ranting. :thumbsup:
 

Vayne Mechanics

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Lol Link is a nazi and that's why I ****ing love him xD

But for this whole damn rant, I love it all except for one point. The pepsi/coke thing. To me, they're the same, just I prefer coke because it contains canada colours in it :3

Now, I demand you bear my child whether impossible or not. LOVE ALL ASIANS!
 

scubasteve

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2. Pepsi owns your soul. It is delicious and MUCH better than Coke. Coke is the milk of the infidel.
5. It is my opinion that Bill Clinton is among the finest presidents ever to grace the United States. Mr. Clinton made the presidency fun again. He let it be known that you can have a widely publicized sex scandal in the highest position in the world and STILL manage to come out of it smelling like roses. I tip my hat to you, Mr. Clinton and may Sloan continue to bless you and your secks.
6. V for Vendetta is an incredible movie. For all you morons out there who cannot manage a "suspension of disbelief", I suggest that you kindly jump off the nearest cliff. It is a well written movie with marvelous visual scenes. The Valerie sequence ranks among my top movie moments.
Quoted for truth and effect.

Excellent Rant. Much better than your first one. I'm looking forward to future ones BN.
 

Black_Star

Stylin' on Ya
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Blackest Night said:
10) Dora the Explorer is an idiotic child who wanders the woods and wilds without any form of parental supervision and speks to smiling, inaminate objects with the help of her shoe-wearing, multi-lingual purple monkey. I smell acid trip.

That is it for now, dearies.
:laugh: That made my day. BN, when is v3 coming?
 
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