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Fanfiction ► Birth By Sleep: The Short and Honest Version



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DMrayZ

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At the end of time, listening to the drums...
Well, this is it, the last thing you'll ever want to read. By me, because I doubt you'll want to read anything else after this. This is my first attempt at fan-fiction, written in parody style, with due credit to fanfiction and Cracked writer NCHammer326, who inspired this horrible, horrible trainwreck that's about to eye-rape you.

With that said, I truly hope you enjoy this, but you're going to miss a lot if you haven't played the game, or at least watched the cutscenes, that said, you just need the first three minutes. Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep Walkthrough Part 1 English BBS HD opening Intro Ventus Walkthrough USA - YouTube

Credits open and we find our hero’s sitting on the edge of a cliff, as Utada Hikaru’s Simple and Clean starts to pla-
Terra: STOP! Just stop, right there, I can’t listen to that song one more bonkin’ time!!!
Author: Okay, and what do you propose we play over the opening credits?
Ven: ... Baby?
Terra: Shutyomouth...
Aqua: I like it!
Author: The day I purposely listen to Justin Beiber will be the same day I light my ears on fire.
Terra: Something that’s heavy rock, or metal.
Aqua: Of course you would say that, but, we do need something recognizable.
Ven: baby...
Terra: Hell. No. How about Something by nine inch nails?
Author: This is an all ages site, remember? We need something that’s less... soul rapey.
Aqua: Beatles?
Author: Too old.
Ven: Baby......?
Terra, Aqua, and Author: NO!
Ven: Haaaa! *claps happily*
Author: That’s it, I’m going to make this simple *We Will Rock You fades in*

Scene, Terra leaping towards Xehanort
Terra: Judo kiiiiiick!!! Oh shi-!
Xehanort: You wanted Heavy Rock? *drum beat*

Scene, Ven turns as Vanitas and Xehanort walk through the door.
Ven: Santa!!! And his elf!!
Vanitas: Seriously... I come from that guy?
Xehanort: Yeah, unfortunately when I created you, I might’ve damaged his brain a little..
Ven: Merry Easter! Ho ho hee!
Vanitas: That’s, so wrong.

Scene, Terra passes Aqua
Terra: *Frrrrrrrrppppppp*
Aqua: *gag*

Scene, Ven running through a hall as disney characters fill the screen around him
Ven: MOMMY!!!! Make the bad men go away!!!!

Scene, Aqua holds a frozen Ven
Ven: oot ah ‘and in ah ouf ah et ah taste ike ee ault ahss cree
Aqua: ... What?
Author: I think he said, “Put my hand in my mouth, I bet I taste like sea salt ice cream...
Aqua: That... That’s what I thought...

Scene, Aqua, Ven, and Terra falling into the darkness.
Ven: Wheeee, Confetti!
Aqua, Ven, no, that’s glass
Ven: *Smiles with mouth bleeding* It tastes like chocolate pain!

Final scene, we watch a young Riku and Sora as they sit on the beach, facing the water.
Riku: Sora, get your finger out of your nose.
Sora: Fine...
Riku:... Now get your finger out of My nose.

End of opening.



Well, that’s it, anyone who’s still reading, it’s over, you’re suffering is finally over, and anyone who’s not, Problem bro? Let’s go bro! Let’s go!!!


Seriously though, this part was a little shaky, I debated doing the opening scene but, you’ve gotta start somewhere, right? Please comment, constructive criticism is Always appreciated!
 
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CA59

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NCHammer326 is a comedic genius.

I'm glad someone is trying to do a BBS SHV, but this could use some improvement. Too much "funny" dialogue, not enough making fun of the game.
 

Lanydx reborn

The Superior Lanydx
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Another one of these things. *Groans.* Look I'm not one to hate on people's fics but this kinda puts a bad taste in my mouth. Welp people gonna troll so whatever.
 
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