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Better Left Un Answered (KH)



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Mikoto-Cat

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Rated: K+
Description: Roxas and Xion learn that there are just some things better left unanswered.


Roxas sat up on the clock tower overlooking Twilight Town. He was the first to arrive and he waited for his two best friends to arrive, if they do arrive this time that is.

Suddenly he felt something cold and sticky brush past his face. He looked behind him and he saw Axel with his usual smirk on his face. "Here ya go" Axel smirked.

"Thanks Axel" Roxas smiled and took the ice cream. Axel sat next to him and the two friends admired the sunset. It was quiet and peaceful until. "Hey Axel?"

"Yep" Axel said.

"The other day I saw a woman pushing a baby trolley thingo after my mission" Roxas explained nervously.

"You mean a pram" Axel corrected

"Yeah that" Roxas blushed with embarrassment.

"What's your point?" Axel asked calmly.

Roxas blushed again with embarrassment. "The thing is, I've asked everyone in the organization this question but they always find some excuse to leave or make up some lie"

"What's the question?" Axel asked impatiently.

"Where do babies come from?" Roxas asked. Axel was completely silent. Roxas turned to look at Axel and he had a horrified expression on his face. "Well…" Roxas said trying to get Axel to snap out of it.

"Do you seriously want to know?" Axel asked sounding unsure.

"Yeah" Roxas said sounding totally oblivious to what the answer may be.

Axel tried to calm down so he could explain it some how. "Well um… there's a bird called a stalk and what married couples usually do is order a baby online then 9 months later the stalk delivers the baby to the married couple"

Roxas gave Axel an annoyed look. "Demyx said that already. That is so unbelievable. I've seen stalks before and none of them delivered babies."

Axel had a worried look on his face. "Uh…well…" Just then Xion arrived at the Clock Tower saving Axel from explaining something embarrassing.

"Hi guys!" Xion greeted and sat next to Axel. "What's going on?"

"Axel won't tell me where babies come from" Roxas whined like a little boy telling on his older sibling to his mother.

"Good question" Xion said. "Where DO they come from?"

Axel sweat dropped. "Oh God not you too"

"Well…where do they come from?" Xion asked. Axel felt like he was being ganged up on.

"Kay, I lied about the stalk. They're delivered by airmail" Axel thought he had saved himself then until…

"Really?" Xion asked. "Zexion said they came from a cabbage patch"

"Well he lies" Axel said.

"Xigbar says a man plants a seed in a woman and 9 months later a baby is born" Roxas explained.

"Close enough" Axel muttered.

"Then where do they come from?" Xion asked sounding irritated. Axel felt defeated and he let out a heavy sigh.

"Okay I'll tell you" he said. "But promise me you don't tell anyone that I told you the truth"

"We promise" Roxas and Xion smiled innocently and their innocent faces made Axel want to turn away and never tell them but it is a promise so he can't back out now.

Axel let out a heavy sigh. "When a man and a woman, love each other very much, or they're very very very drunk they…

1 hour later

The younger nobodies looked at Axel with horrified expressions. Their eyes looked like they wanted to come out of their heads and their mouths we so wide an insect could fly in their mouths any time soon.

"Axel…" Roxas said breaking the silence "you really didn't have to go into full detail"

"Yeah" Xion agreed. "That's just gross. You're such a sicko"

The two young nobodies left the clock tower leaving Axel sitting by himself and his palm met his forehead. "I warned them. Did they listen? Nooo"

The End
 

KingdomKey

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XD this was Epic! I just kept laughing and laughing! Poor Axel having to be the one to tell it. *Keeps on laughing*
 

CA59

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Roxas sat up on the clock tower overlooking Twilight Town. He was the first to arrive and he waited for his two best friends to arrive, if they do arrive this time that is.
You didn't even take the time to describe anything or anyone.

Suddenly he felt something cold and sticky brush past his face. He looked behind him and he saw Axel with his usual smirk on his face. "Here ya go" Axel smirked.
There needs to be a comma after "Suddenly", and the "he" before "saw Axel" was not necessary. Also, you didn't use any punctuation at all in the dialogue.

"Thanks Axel" Roxas smiled and took the ice cream.
How does that even work? Here, I think this might help you:

Stop Using Those Said Bookisms

It was quiet and peaceful until. "Hey Axel?"
This needs to be fixed.

"Yep" Axel said.
Punctuate.

"The other day I saw a woman pushing a baby trolley thingo after my mission" Roxas explained nervously.
What is a "thingo"? That aside, this dialogue is bad.

"You mean a pram" Axel corrected

"Yeah that" Roxas blushed with embarrassment.
Punctuate.

Roxas blushed again with embarrassment.
When did he stop blushing? I think you meant "his cheeks got more red", but it should have been worded better.

"The thing is, I've asked everyone in the organization this question but they always find some excuse to leave or make up some lie"
Run-on.

Roxas turned to look at Axel and he had a horrified expression on his face.
Roxas had a horrified expression on his face? Why exactly?

"Yeah" Roxas said sounding totally oblivious to what the answer may be.
Punctuate and put a comma after "said".

some how.
One word.

"Well um… there's a bird called a stalk and what married couples usually do is order a baby online then 9 months later the stalk delivers the baby to the married couple"
Run-on. Also, spell out numbers.

Just then Xion arrived at the Clock Tower saving Axel from explaining something embarrassing.
Run-on. Also, describe what Xion looks like.

"Axel won't tell me where babies come from" Roxas whined like a little boy telling on his older sibling to his mother.
That doesn't sound like ANYTHING he would say, especially not in a whiny way.

"Oh God not you too"
Run-on.

"Kay, I lied about the stalk. They're delivered by airmail" Axel thought he had saved himself then until…
You don't need to use ellipses. Just transition the next line properly.

Oh, and punctuate the second line.

"Really?" Xion asked. "Zexion said they came from a cabbage patch"

"Well he lies" Axel said.

"Xigbar says a man plants a seed in a woman and 9 months later a baby is born" Roxas explained.

"Close enough" Axel muttered.
WTF...

Roxas thought the rest of them were telling him lies, so why is he bringing it up?

Again, spell out numbers with letters,

Axel felt defeated and he let out a heavy sigh.
Run-on.

"Okay I'll tell you" he said. "But promise me you don't tell anyone that I told you the truth"
Needs punctuation.

"We promise" Roxas and Xion smiled innocently and their innocent faces made Axel want to turn away and never tell them but it is a promise so he can't back out now.
This is a run-on, and this sentence needs to be fixed.

Axel let out a heavy sigh. "When a man and a woman, love each other very much, or they're very very very drunk they…

1 hour later
Transition time passing properly.

their mouths we so wide an insect could fly in their mouths any time soon.
"We" should be "were". Also, it doesn't take much to accomplish that.

"Axel…" Roxas said breaking the silence "you really didn't have to go into full detail"

"Yeah" Xion agreed. "That's just gross. You're such a sicko"
They're the ones who wanted to know. This is stupid.

The two young nobodies left the clock tower leaving Axel sitting by himself and his palm met his forehead. "I warned them. Did they listen? Nooo"

The End
This is a run-on, and the last bit isn't punctuated.

Also, don't put "The End", we're not morons.
 
Last edited:

TwilightRiku_13

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Wow, where the heck have I been? I am really backed up on these stories; I have to go through the last few pages to see what stories I have missed. Anyway, that was funny. I felt really bad for Axel for having to explain that to Roxas and Xion; it would have been easier for him to give them a book about it or something. Great job, and I look forward to more.
 
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