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- Aug 3, 2005
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Reactions to small dick!
Date: 2008-03-04, 2:52PM CST
I have a very small penis. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I've come to terms with it and now I've even found someone who will date me in spite of it. Nevertheless, the moment when I expose myself has always provided a bit of consternation and some interest moments. At the suggestion of some others on other board, I'm posting a few anecdotes based on this experience. Enjoy.
From a blonde who was chewing gum at the time..."So, I mean, is this it???"
"Yikes, Andrea said you were small but...wow!"
From another girl, holding it between her index finger and thumb, "Why don't you just use your hand."
I had just gone home with a girl who provided some 420 fun, "Wow...I hope you know how to eat this cooch!"
From a girl who gave me oral, "Well at least there's no chance I'll gag!"
Doggystyle and balls deep, "C'mon baby, you can do it!"
From a sweet girl with a complete look of shock, "Well, it makes your balls look really big."
"Oh, cute. It's like a little button!"
"Do you think it'll ever get any bigger?"
"Do you mind if I just rub it for a while?" And after I came, "Wow, I never thought something so small would make such a mess!"
From the drunk girls...
"You've got to be kidding me! Can I take a picture of that!?!?"
Giggling..."I've seen small cocks before but goddam"
"Sorry, but this is just f'ing pointless!"
As soon as I lowered my pants, "You poor thing!"
After sex and cuddling, "I should hook you up with my friend Stacy. She was saying that small dicks don't bother her."
Mean drunk girl, "I seriously think this is the size of a paperclip. I mean one of those bigger ones." She actually got a paperclip out of her purse and compared.
On breaking up..
"Good luck ever finding someone who wants that pindick."
"I'm telling every single one of my friends that you have a three inch cock. Keep fcuking whining and I won't even exaggerate that much!"
"I lied. It is by FAR the smallest fcuking cock I've ever seen."
When I found out she was cheating and demanded the truth, "Oh my God, you sniveling little fcuk. Because his cock is long and fat and I can actually feel it slide into me."
Human Cat for Adpotion
Date: 2009-04-07, 2:35PM EDT
Friendly Human-Cat for adoption.
I will crawl around your house and do cat-like things in exchange for only cat food, water, a litter box, and occasional treats. Cat-cats are more of a hassle than human-cats. If you are looking to adopt a cat-cat and have been researching the matter you already know what I mean. There is less research to be done on human-cats, so let a friendly little fellow into your house today and be one of the first to spearhead a fledgeling community.
I will not speak or do anything human-like, only cat-like. I look out windows, become enthralled with small objects, run across the house in the middle of the night and make a terrifying sound in the corner, nuzzle you with my head, etc. You must take care of me as you would a cat-cat.
Email me for details.
you wiped your butt with a dollar bill and I picked it up - w4m
Date: 2009-04-10, 2:30AM EDT
Dear Sir,
Tonight I was walking down Hill St when I saw a dollar bill on the ground, covered with what looked like a muddy footprint. This was in front of a frat, I do not know the name of it. I picked it up, because, hey, a dollar, and only part of it was covered in the "mud." I thought, maybe this is poop, but I don't think so. I held it by the "clean" end and carried it all the way home.
Upon third party inspection, it has been confirmed unanimously that it is indeed poop. My gut instinct was that it was human poop, but who wants to think they touched that? Be true to yourself, guys, and you will not touch poop, I assure you.
So: Why did you wipe your butt with a dollar bill?
I get that it is a phrase, like "I'll wipe my ass with this [document that I do not value]", but why a dollar bill? Did you deliberately aim for George Washington's face (you should be ashamed)? Why after pooping? you could just do it without any kind of digestive matter and still make the same point. How did it end up on the corner (approx.) of Hill and South U.? I just need to know. I mean, you owe me an explanation for how I came into contact with your poo.
I await your response.
Additionally, if you were a witness to the creation of this poo-bill I would welcome your account as well. Whatever anal[ha]ysis you would like to provide would be equally helpful.
Pregnant? - m4w
Date: 2009-04-24, 1:09PM PDT
I was standing in line to make my purchases when you tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to hand you a $1 pregnancy test (can you even trust those?!?) and then made small talk with me while you stood behind me in line.
How'd it turn out?
Single?
I lost your number - m4w
Date: 2009-08-24, 1:19PM CDT
hey, I don't wanna plaster your name all over here, so I'll just use your initials. JS, I lost your number and would really like to get a hold of you. I hope you check this part of craigslist, I know you use CL b/c that's how we met. to refresh and so you're sure of who I am and that I'm talking about you. I met you off of CL for some FWB actions. We had a wild first night. It just got crazier from there, we helped each other broaden our horizons. We tried outdoor stuff a lot of role play (you love the rough stuff) that one night that we didn't have a condom we should have refrained. You missed your period and I talked you into getting rid of it. You were a little mad at yourself, and yes, me too.
But anyways, I'd really like to get back in touch. You still owe me 75 bucks for your half of the procedure, plus we could probably fool around some more.