I'm sorry Qwe I'm late reading this..=(
Anyways it was an awesome chapter can't wait for more^^
Anyways it was an awesome chapter can't wait for more^^
Fanfiction ► Back on the islands
- Thread starter Apollo
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Yes please finish the next chappie soon i love it and i can't wait!!!!
- Joined
- Mar 17, 2007
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- 4,309
I hi I tired to do better this time so point out anything that is bad please!
Chapter 4
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Riku was running down a street down to his boat. He need to get to Sora, and Kairi. He jumped in his boat to started to go across the ocean.
Meanwhile Sora was fighting heartless he did not know where Kairi went. Sora felt really weak he could barly stand anymore.
" I am almost there!" Riku yelled. He jumped out of his boat. He saw that Sora was on the ground he ran over to him and started to defend Sora. But just than when Riku turned around and he got hit by somthing hard, he fell over and everything went black.
"Riku are you up yet?" Riku opened his eyes it was King mickey. Riku could barly get up but he manage to get up. " Where is Sora, and Kairi?" Riku said his voice was full of pain.
"Kairi went home to get her bag. Sora is still sleeping. When I came the heartless attacked you I fought them off." Mickey said in a worried voice.
"Crap what happened?" It was Sora as he got up. Mickey explained what happened. Than Kairi came with a pink back pack.
They all said hi to her, than Riku told about his fight with T.K. "I had a fight with him too "King Mickey said. I "I almost lost" King mickey said in a sad voice.
"Well if you are all ready lets get going. Before you ask we are going to get to the castle we will be using dark portals. I will open one you guys will go in there, you only have 10 seconds to get in. Once your in you have 10 mins to run one mile to the other portal if you don't make it you will be lost to the darkness forever." Mickey said in a calm voice has did weird thing with his hands tell a portal opened.
As Riku was following Sora, and Kairi in T.K jumped out of now where and ran at them. "Go I will hold him off." King Mickey yelled as he pushed Riku in. Everything went dark the last thing he saw was King mickey and T.K running at each other.
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Well that is the end please point out bad things!
Chapter 4
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Riku was running down a street down to his boat. He need to get to Sora, and Kairi. He jumped in his boat to started to go across the ocean.
Meanwhile Sora was fighting heartless he did not know where Kairi went. Sora felt really weak he could barly stand anymore.
" I am almost there!" Riku yelled. He jumped out of his boat. He saw that Sora was on the ground he ran over to him and started to defend Sora. But just than when Riku turned around and he got hit by somthing hard, he fell over and everything went black.
"Riku are you up yet?" Riku opened his eyes it was King mickey. Riku could barly get up but he manage to get up. " Where is Sora, and Kairi?" Riku said his voice was full of pain.
"Kairi went home to get her bag. Sora is still sleeping. When I came the heartless attacked you I fought them off." Mickey said in a worried voice.
"Crap what happened?" It was Sora as he got up. Mickey explained what happened. Than Kairi came with a pink back pack.
They all said hi to her, than Riku told about his fight with T.K. "I had a fight with him too "King Mickey said. I "I almost lost" King mickey said in a sad voice.
"Well if you are all ready lets get going. Before you ask we are going to get to the castle we will be using dark portals. I will open one you guys will go in there, you only have 10 seconds to get in. Once your in you have 10 mins to run one mile to the other portal if you don't make it you will be lost to the darkness forever." Mickey said in a calm voice has did weird thing with his hands tell a portal opened.
As Riku was following Sora, and Kairi in T.K jumped out of now where and ran at them. "Go I will hold him off." King Mickey yelled as he pushed Riku in. Everything went dark the last thing he saw was King mickey and T.K running at each other.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Well that is the end please point out bad things!
Yay good chappie buddy i likie a lil short but the shorter a chapter is the more it leaves you hanging!!!!!!
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2007
- Messages
- 522
It whas good!!! Short but good bud!!! Nice chap.!
i want moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i neeed the other chapters to come soooooooonnnnnnnnn lol
- Joined
- Mar 17, 2007
- Messages
- 4,309
Ok I did my best!!! Thank you Hikari713 for doing the the edit stuff!
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It was dark everywhere and Riku's head hurt. Then there was a sharp jolt of pain in his back and he fell to the ground. He got up and looked, he was in a bright place, he could feel the darkness around him. He saw Sora, and Kairi running.
"Riku we have to get going there are a lot of heartless; I told Kairi to go!" Sora yelled at him and Riku started to run.
They hit the heartless along the way. Kairi was far ahead of them. "She's gotten a lot faster" Riku gasped as he ran. He was feeling pain in his legs.
They ran for a while and then Kairi yelled. "I see the portal!" It was True Riku could see a big black hole in the wall.
"Go Kairi we will get caught up" Sora yelled. Kairi went in, but just then a big hole showed up in the air and a big heartless emerged blocking the portal. It swung it's arm and hit Riku and Sora they flew back and smacked into the ground.
" The darkside!" Sora yelled. Riku felt pain in his arm were he landed.
"The portal is closing Sora we need to go under him" Riku yelled. The portal was getting smaller. Riku and Sora ran at the Darkside it swung it arms again but they ducked under it and ran at the portal. They jumped in and everything went black again.
Then Riku fell down to the ground with Sora. " Oh you guys I was worried but King mickey said you guys would be okay." Kairi said in a happy voice as she helped them up.
"Where is the King anyways?" Riku asked. It was hard for him to get up but he did.
"He went to go check the conerstone of light. He said he would be back with treatment for you guys." Kairi said she had a smile on her face.
"There you guys are! It took you guys sometime to get here!" King Mickey said with a calm voice.
"King mickey before we get treatment can you tell us about T.K?" Riku said in a powerful voice full of hate.
"Yeah a few weeks ago I had Master Yen Sid make a stone for me to go back in time where the memory i am going to show you guys takes place. When I went back to try to stop somthing that happened at the time. I messed up and I failed so when I was going back to our time T.K grabbed my tail and came with me. He has a goal to kill everykeyblade wielder he meets here. So you need to be careful he will do anything so now, nurse can you treat them?" Mickey said this was all in a worried voice.
"Yes he looks the worst I will treat him first!" The nurse said as she grabbed Riku's hand.
"I broke my arm. How long is it going to take to fix it?" Riku asked he a had a very bad pain in his arm.
"One night we are going to use a spical room that speeds time up. So one night here will be 8 months in the room." The nurse said after she wrapped up Riku's arm and pushed him in the room. " Take off the wrap in a couple of hours." the nurse said as she shut the door.
It was weird in the room. after a while Riku could fell his hair grow. There was a lot of food, and water in the room. Riku arm felt a lot better with in hours.
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Thanks again Hikari713!!!!!!!!
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It was dark everywhere and Riku's head hurt. Then there was a sharp jolt of pain in his back and he fell to the ground. He got up and looked, he was in a bright place, he could feel the darkness around him. He saw Sora, and Kairi running.
"Riku we have to get going there are a lot of heartless; I told Kairi to go!" Sora yelled at him and Riku started to run.
They hit the heartless along the way. Kairi was far ahead of them. "She's gotten a lot faster" Riku gasped as he ran. He was feeling pain in his legs.
They ran for a while and then Kairi yelled. "I see the portal!" It was True Riku could see a big black hole in the wall.
"Go Kairi we will get caught up" Sora yelled. Kairi went in, but just then a big hole showed up in the air and a big heartless emerged blocking the portal. It swung it's arm and hit Riku and Sora they flew back and smacked into the ground.
" The darkside!" Sora yelled. Riku felt pain in his arm were he landed.
"The portal is closing Sora we need to go under him" Riku yelled. The portal was getting smaller. Riku and Sora ran at the Darkside it swung it arms again but they ducked under it and ran at the portal. They jumped in and everything went black again.
Then Riku fell down to the ground with Sora. " Oh you guys I was worried but King mickey said you guys would be okay." Kairi said in a happy voice as she helped them up.
"Where is the King anyways?" Riku asked. It was hard for him to get up but he did.
"He went to go check the conerstone of light. He said he would be back with treatment for you guys." Kairi said she had a smile on her face.
"There you guys are! It took you guys sometime to get here!" King Mickey said with a calm voice.
"King mickey before we get treatment can you tell us about T.K?" Riku said in a powerful voice full of hate.
"Yeah a few weeks ago I had Master Yen Sid make a stone for me to go back in time where the memory i am going to show you guys takes place. When I went back to try to stop somthing that happened at the time. I messed up and I failed so when I was going back to our time T.K grabbed my tail and came with me. He has a goal to kill everykeyblade wielder he meets here. So you need to be careful he will do anything so now, nurse can you treat them?" Mickey said this was all in a worried voice.
"Yes he looks the worst I will treat him first!" The nurse said as she grabbed Riku's hand.
"I broke my arm. How long is it going to take to fix it?" Riku asked he a had a very bad pain in his arm.
"One night we are going to use a spical room that speeds time up. So one night here will be 8 months in the room." The nurse said after she wrapped up Riku's arm and pushed him in the room. " Take off the wrap in a couple of hours." the nurse said as she shut the door.
It was weird in the room. after a while Riku could fell his hair grow. There was a lot of food, and water in the room. Riku arm felt a lot better with in hours.
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Thanks again Hikari713!!!!!!!!
Great chappie and i noticed a couple spots where i messed up......whoopsie daisy thanks for letting me edit though anyway!!!!
ya good job it sounds great!!!!!!
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2007
- Messages
- 522
Sorry I'm really man! It whas pretty cool! I'll wait for the next chap!
I've only read the first chapter so far and it's pretty good! Just work on the details, that's what makes a story better. 
tis was cool! I liked it!
filler
filler
I've missed a lot..again but grea chapters buddy =D
but grea chapters buddy =D- Status