• Hello everybody! We have tons of new awards for the new year that can be requested through our Awards System thanks to Antifa Lockhart! Some are limited-time awards so go claim them before they are gone forever...

    CLICK HERE FOR AWARDS

Fanfiction ► Axel's fan-fic



REGISTER TO REMOVE ADS
Status
Not open for further replies.

soraluverforever

New member
Joined
May 27, 2007
Messages
294
Shadowknigt your nice to help Eliza
and to Eliza just as I told you make a great fan fic can't wait for the rest I really want to read more ^^
 

I

The Show Must Go On
Joined
May 31, 2006
Messages
1,197
Location
Elsewhere
I feel as though I've seen the same story line else where... hundreds of elsewheres. I do hope you switch it up some once you get the plot going.

Your grammar could use work, and your 'ominous voice' in the prolouge talking to Axel was the most unbelievable thing ever. Really now, all voices that talk to the characters most likely know everything in the universe - I'd expect it to be far more pretentious and a bit more cryptic. Don't feel bad, most fanfic writers tend to not realise this, but if the writing's good, it should be fine.
 

TheLastKnight

You Swear To Listen
Joined
Apr 15, 2007
Messages
2,181
Website
s9.invisionfree.com
heh, I suppose I did make a few...I'd hate to brag, but I think I did a pretty good job...I wonder when Eliza will be on, I want to ask her a question...I tried to fix it up, as best I could...some mistakes are hard to find
 

Apollo

Silver Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2007
Messages
4,309
hay sorry i was late but I loved it good job keep up the good work!
 

Obscured fire

|?|エリイ|?| Azixel
Joined
Jun 27, 2007
Messages
1,650
Age
29
Location
Wherever you are not
Website
azixel.deviantart.com
YAY!!!
3rd chapter is done!!This time all the credits are going to Kersha fangs!!^^
A big thanks for her help^^
Well,i couldnt skip much of disney...but hope you will like it^^

Days:4-7
Day 4
The final battle is over and the two best friends returned safe to their islands...

"We.... we're back!" Sora said with a smile. Kairi returned it with her own.
"You are home..."Kairi said smiling.

After that everyone went to Riku's home...

"Did you defeat Xemnas? What happened?" King Mickey asked.

"Xemnas used his power to close the dark realm so we got seperate," Riku said with a tired voice.

"Riku are you okay?" Kairi asked concerned.

"I think we should rest up a little..." King Mickey said smiling.

"Wait a sec! Your majesty, you mean that you will stay here?!" Sora exclaimed surprized standing out of his seat.

"Yes Sora, but only for tonight. Tomorrow we will return back to Disney's Castle, it's time for me, Donald, and Goofy to return to our home as well..."

"Oh I see..."Sora said sadly and seating himself back in his chair.

"Gwarsh Sora, don't worry. Of course we will meet again! Remember, you are the key that connects everything", Goofy said with a big smile.

"Your majesty, Donald, Goofy, you can stay to my home tonight if you want..." Kairi offered.

"Alright. Thank you Kairi",King Mickey said and everyone left from Riku's house.

Day 5
Around 6:00 am, the Gummi Ship landed on Destiny Islands, of course in a place away from other's eyes.

"Wow I feel strange that I won't get in again, to travel to another world..." Sora said smiling but almost crying.

"Well I bet that you will get to again soon, Sora. There are always many villains", said the King.

"Yeah... you're right." Sora answered.

"Farewell then", Kairi said with a bright smile, waving.

"Bye", Riku said.

And then the King, Donald, and Goofy left the island...

Sora was a little sad, he just started thinking everything he had to pass to return back to his home and he was looking nostalgic but happy that he returned home. The rest of the day the three friends went to see their parents and see their old friends and explain what happened in their absense.

Day 6

Sora and Riku were on the smaller island that they would always practice sparring with each other. They were waiting for Kairi to show up. They were going to teach her to properly wield her newly obtained keyblade, but Kairi was late.
"Hey, guys! I'm here!" Kairi said, her mouth stuffed with a piece of toast as she ran towards them. Kairi stopped before them and finally finished eating her bread. "Sorry I kept you waiting. I wasn't let out until I had something to eat."
"No problem Kairi, you're here now. We can practice." Sora reassured her. "Now summon your keyblade."
Kairi did so, baring it forward but with a little trouble from the unfamiliar weight. Sora and Riku did the same with theirs, but Kairi took a step back. "You guys are going to go easy, right?"
"Of course! It's only training for now." Riku said. "Now since you're still new, you have to get used to the weight of the keyblade. Trying swinging it a few times. I'll help your form and reaction time."
Kairi followed Riku's advice. She quickly learned and now she weilded her blade with ease. "I'm getting the hang of this!"
"Now we practice against an opponent." Sora stepped forward bearing his blade. Kairi jumped slightly.
"So soon?"
"I'll be ok. Let's just try for dogding and hitting today."
"Alright..."
Sora swung his keyblade slowly, letting Kairi raise her and deflect it. He then repeated, a little faster. Kairi followed through, successfully block every hit. Kairi then blocked one move and swung her blade around and got Sora in the side, only a soft hit though. Sora put his hand over the hitted area.
"You got me."
Kairi then jumped up and down in joy. "I'm really getting good, huh?"
"Yeah!" Riku agreed. He then took the winged part of his keyblade and put it behind Kairi's ankle and pulled her foot under, causing Kairi to fall over. "And a little big headed. Don't let your guard down. That's when they'll get you the most."
Kairi rubbed her sore bottom and helped herself back on her feet. "Hey, I'm just playing. It's just fun for now, but I'll get serious as soon as I get as good as you or Sora."
"That'll be the day..."
The trio laughed in unison and continued on with their play-fighting. After some hours, they stopped and rested and then saw the setting sun. "It's getting late.." Riku stated, his hand sheilded his eyes from the orange rays of the sun.
"Let's go home and rest. We can practice again later." Kairi said. The other two agreed and then they waved each other away as they went to their own homes.

Day 7

King Mickey sent a letter which the following was stated:

Sora, Riku, and Kairi

I knew that we would have to start a new journey, but I never thought that it would happen so fast.
Today I had a new visitor, and I am saying that because you know this person quite well. I can't say I'm exactly
sure what happened, so tomorrow the Gummi Ship will arrive early in the evening to take you back to Disney
Castle. I know that you wanted to stay a little longer in your own homes and beds, but that is an emergency, or
at least that is what I think we are dealing with here. We wanted to celebrate our victory against all the enemies
that we defeated the last 2 years together, but we will see soon enough if we can have that celebration.
Well I will explain you better what happened when we meet each other, until then rest up.
See you soon,
King Mickey

"Wow, what does that mean?" Sora asked after finishing the letter.

"It means that we have to get prepared for another journey", Riku said.

"But all together this time," Kairi said smiling. She continued, "But I wonder who his visitor is, I mean he said
that we know him quite well..."

"I have no idea, don't look at me", Sora said with his hands up.

"Axel?" Kairi suggested.

"But he is not alive..." Sora said, sadness in his voice after remembering Axel's sarcifice.

"Hmm... I guess then... but... oh, never mind", Kairi dismissed her own thoughts. "Well guys I think that we must start preparing... see you later!" She said and then left Sora and Riku to go prepared herself for the journey ahead.

"Well Sora I think that we should keep on training a little then. Until the King get here, so that we're not rusty." Riku offered.
Sora nodded. "Yeah, you're right." He answered back. So with that the two friends continued their friendly sparring until dusk.
 

KershaFangs

New member
Joined
May 8, 2007
Messages
452
Age
28
Location
Inside my one green square =3
I like where this story is going, even if it's a bit like others. You're going great for your first time and if you ever need me for any more beta reading you just ask. I'm pretty sure I put little to no mistakes there. I hope that future chapters are just as great. :3
 

Obscured fire

|?|エリイ|?| Azixel
Joined
Jun 27, 2007
Messages
1,650
Age
29
Location
Wherever you are not
Website
azixel.deviantart.com
I like where this story is going, even if it's a bit like others. You're going great for your first time and if you ever need me for any more beta reading you just ask. I'm pretty sure I put little to no mistakes there. I hope that future chapters are just as great. :3

Aww...thnx a lot^^
I asure ya that the next chaps will be greater and greater^^:thumbsup:
 

Obscured fire

|?|エリイ|?| Azixel
Joined
Jun 27, 2007
Messages
1,650
Age
29
Location
Wherever you are not
Website
azixel.deviantart.com
its really good i can't wait for the next one but i don't think this will be the story in the next kh which carries on from sora's story sorry. But otherwise good.

Er...i never said that it will be the next kh story,it's a fan-fic story,which means that it's something that i thought abiut the heroes i like...
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top