I guess it was time I started getting outside opinions again. so here is the beginning, and let me know what you think.
Away From the World
Lynn didn't know what to expect when the elevator door opened. It was only a two-story building and she saw no reason for there to be an elevator when there should only have been stairs. On her flight to this place she could see that where she was going there would be more than enough windows to see through when those metallic doors finally opened.
She thought about the informer of this place, and why she was even doing this. Missing mages were not her field; yet, all the people gone in the past five months were her friends, making it personal. A woman at the fair with bright yellow eyes and hair to match whispered to her from another barstool about a white house on a cliff away from the world. She claimed the owner was ready to tell Lynn what he knew about the disappearances.
The woman frowned at her reflection in the doors, patting down her blonde hair and pulling it back to show the ears of a fairy. Except, Lynn was more witch than fairy; something inherited from her mother's side.
Suddenly, her breathing sped as the elevator slowed and she got the feeling that she wasn’t the only one in the tiny moving cubicle. Glancing to her left, she saw the ghost image of one of her friends, someone missing, step out the doors right as they opened. In front of her was crystal clear glass, showing morning already dawning.
The image of her friend, Ralo, strode out confidently and turned to the left beyond her sight. Lynn heard no signs of life from within the room, now believing that she must have arrived before the mysterious owner. She decided it wouldn't hurt her to follow this vision without waiting for the holder.
How wrong she was.
As she traced Ralo's steps she found herself staring at two different versions of one room. The second level was a single room, like the story below, and every wall possessed windows framed in white. The beautifully polished slats of wood flooring lay beneath two black leather couches cornering an old brass table with a glass top, and only feet away rested a rare white tiger, gutted and spread out as a rug. Not a speck of dust in the entire room.
However, her eyes remained focused on the ghost image of Ralo instantly shredded apart by invisible claws, his pieces thrown about added to all the other carnage decorating the room. The sight immediately made her sick, even though she knew it was no longer actually there. Except, she knew, she knew, that it truly had taken place. Amongst the tears swelling in her eyes, her sight blurred between a room splattered in blood, limbs, and faces; and a second story of a building that might as well have just been finished the day before.
She became sick again as she recognized each face separated from its body. Every single one had been a close friend. In her mind, Lynn kept wondering, What's going on? Who could do this?
On and on she ran the possibilities in her mind of who would want to harm any of these people, and finally realized that all of them were connected to her. But, who would specifically want to hurt her like this?
Her stomach cringed as fear collided with an unfortunate epiphany.
Brent.
Lynn couldn't believe she was considering him a suspect, yet the evidence continued piling against him. He had loved her more than she could return, which kept lessening until there was nothing but brotherly love. He had understood then, still she knew it pained him to have to stop kissing her, holding her. Brent was spontaneous and fun, yet his kind of fun spiraled downward the more she displaced herself from him. And this wasn't the first time he had tried to claim revenge.
That first time was in blind rage with a sharp dagger. It was beyond lucky that the boy couldn't fly and his attention died fast. Lynn had barely been three inches from her death when her feet finally sprang to safety.
Now he stabbed her in a different manner. This way he could do it again and again, and she would not die, but forced to survive and suffer another loss, another attack on her heart.
Tears landed haphazardly onto the floor as her fears were confirmed.
A man in dooming black popped into the white building from the far northwest corner. He stood with his back to her, breathing calmly. His hands clasped behind him as he turned the slightest to face his newest victim. Brent smiled, completely aware of what his ex-lover was experiencing.
Lynn gasped for air trying to control her horror of the scene. She wanted to scream at him, but all she could do was open her mouth like a gaping fish.
He called out instead. "Hope you like what I've done with the place."
The witch couldn't stand anymore. All of her reasons to exist were destroyed, including the one before her. Her knees fell sloppily into her own puke while shivers of absolute despair took control of her body.
Brent shook his head, lightly stepping his way toward her. Like a baby cow she stared at him with wide pupils, worried of the twisted glint in his eyes. But, instead of slicing her to bits which he most likely did with all the other mages, he gently grabbed her from under the arms and lifted her back to her feet.
"No, no, no, the Lynn I know would be stronger than that." He smiled with pure concern. Not even his disgust of her ruined pants broke onto his countenance. "She would be screaming and crying and fighting all the way to her very last breath. You can do that for me now, can't ya?" A smile twitched on his lips while insanity loomed in.
She closed her eyes and hoped the worst was over.
Lynn didn't know what to expect when the elevator door opened. It was only a two-story building and she saw no reason for there to be an elevator when there should only have been stairs. On her flight to this place she could see that where she was going there would be more than enough windows to see through when those metallic doors finally opened.
She thought about the informer of this place, and why she was even doing this. Missing mages were not her field; yet, all the people gone in the past five months were her friends, making it personal. A woman at the fair with bright yellow eyes and hair to match whispered to her from another barstool about a white house on a cliff away from the world. She claimed the owner was ready to tell Lynn what he knew about the disappearances.
The woman frowned at her reflection in the doors, patting down her blonde hair and pulling it back to show the ears of a fairy. Except, Lynn was more witch than fairy; something inherited from her mother's side.
Suddenly, her breathing sped as the elevator slowed and she got the feeling that she wasn’t the only one in the tiny moving cubicle. Glancing to her left, she saw the ghost image of one of her friends, someone missing, step out the doors right as they opened. In front of her was crystal clear glass, showing morning already dawning.
The image of her friend, Ralo, strode out confidently and turned to the left beyond her sight. Lynn heard no signs of life from within the room, now believing that she must have arrived before the mysterious owner. She decided it wouldn't hurt her to follow this vision without waiting for the holder.
How wrong she was.
As she traced Ralo's steps she found herself staring at two different versions of one room. The second level was a single room, like the story below, and every wall possessed windows framed in white. The beautifully polished slats of wood flooring lay beneath two black leather couches cornering an old brass table with a glass top, and only feet away rested a rare white tiger, gutted and spread out as a rug. Not a speck of dust in the entire room.
However, her eyes remained focused on the ghost image of Ralo instantly shredded apart by invisible claws, his pieces thrown about added to all the other carnage decorating the room. The sight immediately made her sick, even though she knew it was no longer actually there. Except, she knew, she knew, that it truly had taken place. Amongst the tears swelling in her eyes, her sight blurred between a room splattered in blood, limbs, and faces; and a second story of a building that might as well have just been finished the day before.
She became sick again as she recognized each face separated from its body. Every single one had been a close friend. In her mind, Lynn kept wondering, What's going on? Who could do this?
On and on she ran the possibilities in her mind of who would want to harm any of these people, and finally realized that all of them were connected to her. But, who would specifically want to hurt her like this?
Her stomach cringed as fear collided with an unfortunate epiphany.
Brent.
Lynn couldn't believe she was considering him a suspect, yet the evidence continued piling against him. He had loved her more than she could return, which kept lessening until there was nothing but brotherly love. He had understood then, still she knew it pained him to have to stop kissing her, holding her. Brent was spontaneous and fun, yet his kind of fun spiraled downward the more she displaced herself from him. And this wasn't the first time he had tried to claim revenge.
That first time was in blind rage with a sharp dagger. It was beyond lucky that the boy couldn't fly and his attention died fast. Lynn had barely been three inches from her death when her feet finally sprang to safety.
Now he stabbed her in a different manner. This way he could do it again and again, and she would not die, but forced to survive and suffer another loss, another attack on her heart.
Tears landed haphazardly onto the floor as her fears were confirmed.
A man in dooming black popped into the white building from the far northwest corner. He stood with his back to her, breathing calmly. His hands clasped behind him as he turned the slightest to face his newest victim. Brent smiled, completely aware of what his ex-lover was experiencing.
Lynn gasped for air trying to control her horror of the scene. She wanted to scream at him, but all she could do was open her mouth like a gaping fish.
He called out instead. "Hope you like what I've done with the place."
The witch couldn't stand anymore. All of her reasons to exist were destroyed, including the one before her. Her knees fell sloppily into her own puke while shivers of absolute despair took control of her body.
Brent shook his head, lightly stepping his way toward her. Like a baby cow she stared at him with wide pupils, worried of the twisted glint in his eyes. But, instead of slicing her to bits which he most likely did with all the other mages, he gently grabbed her from under the arms and lifted her back to her feet.
"No, no, no, the Lynn I know would be stronger than that." He smiled with pure concern. Not even his disgust of her ruined pants broke onto his countenance. "She would be screaming and crying and fighting all the way to her very last breath. You can do that for me now, can't ya?" A smile twitched on his lips while insanity loomed in.
She closed her eyes and hoped the worst was over.