Help/Support ► attempting to move forward

[Ysu]

I always thought I'd be the one giving the advice, but now its me who needs the help and support.

It all started in February. I met this girl, and we really hit it off. The first phone conversation was 6 hours long, it was crazy how much I liked this girl. We eventually started going out, and it was by the first week that we realized we loved each other. I jumped into a 7 month long relationship that would be filled with love, future plans, dreams and a state of happiness I had never felt before. But it all ended last week. One of the major problems we always had was our age difference. I was going to college when summer was over and she would still be in High School. We trusted each other to never leave for another, and to not be tempted. I kept that promise fully, she however, found someone else. This person could be there when I couldn't be, he could relate to her because he was closer to her age. Her liking for him grew as her love for me diminished, to the point where she doubted she could go on. Then she decides to throw it all away one night as she breaks up with me, and pursues that boy she likes . . . the very next day. She lied to me for 7 months, and the final lie was "I won't be with anyone else for a long time."

Ever since then, I've been in a state of heartbroken depression. Nothing seems to be important to me anymore, and its because she meant everything to me. I never stopped loving her, and although my heart is shattered, the pieces that remain are still in love with her. So I need to know, how can I move on? I've tried hiding my sorrow, but I just feel dead on the inside. This isn't healthy, and I don't want to be this way. I have to move on, but first I have to know exactly how to do that.

 

[Deeman]

='(

A very sad story indeed.

The relationship's over, my friend, so you're going to have to get over this sooner or later. It's hard to get out of that heartbroken state your in, but you must get out of it. And that's something only you can do. Mourn for your loss and accept it. Then, move on. Life moves on.

Think about it, though you loved her so much, it wasn't meant to be. One day, you'll meet your true future wife, and you'll be glad you got over this one girl.

You can only but prepare your mind and soul for your next relationship, because this one has flown away with the wind.

~<3

 

[Hypoxium]

It's sad when something like this happens. They make a promise, yet, those promises are never kept. We only later realize that those promises should have never been made in the first place. Obviously she isn't the right person, but I'm sure finding the right person could take a very long time. It's like trying to find a four-leaf clover, It's something very rare.

I think that people need to build up more strength when they go into a relationship, you leave yourself open to a heart-break, no matter how much you think she wouldn't do that to you.

You need to let go, be a man, and realize that you need to leave the past behind and build up a new future. So you had a good run, now we need to let it go.

But asking for help, on getting over her... That's something that you have to do on your own, and no matter how much help you ask for, only you can pull yourself through.

I'm hungry. :/

Good luck.

 

[Ysu]

Thanks for the advice.

I know I have to get over her, and I eventually will, but I what I really wanted was the experience of someone who this happened to as well. I need the advice and experience of someone whose gotten over that hump.

 

[Jopari]

Well, I've never been in exactly the same situation, but I know what it feels like when the person you love doesn't love you in return. And even though she didn't lie about it to me, the pain is similar.

the only thing you can do is work to get over her. It may take time and loving someone is like giving someone a piece of your heart. When they don't give you a piece of theirs in return it creates a wound and sometimes it takes a long time for the wound to scar over. No matter how long it takes the wound will scar and the scar will fade.

Just keep hope for something better and something right to come your way, things generally work out it the end.

 

[Yannis]

Basically, YOU´RE SCREWED, MAN! =´(

That was very sad story. At first, she didnt never truly love you. Seven months is pretty long time to share with other person. But there is no way you can have that girl back, remember this.

Maybe you two rushed into relationship before both knew each other. It is not right for you to blame age difference. If that girl really loved you, then age difference would be just one thrash on the road.

I know this, cuz im with 15 years old girl who is in highschool and Im in college. She doesnt want those highschool-d*cks.

I dont have that kind of experiences that u have, sorry...=(

You must understand these:
-She isnt for you, best thing is to not love her anymore.
-Age Difference isnt very big problem, I know it.
-Dont be sad anymore, If you are, you wont meet other girls anymore.
-Blame the girl, she was one bitch and there is one good girl waiting for ya somewhere..

 

[blinkboy211]

Dude first off if you take your story to any known tv station that show soap operas the will buy it.

That really sucks though. I mean to hold something so close to you for so long and than it just to drop you like a rock. This could have just been another high school love and it sure sounds like one. So i would suggest just slowly getting on your feet and just get back out there. Dont date right away cause you will keep thinking of that girl instead. Just do things that interest you. Try not to have her dwell inside your head. Than when you feel up to it ask another girl you might like out. Dont try anything that will try to rush fix the problem. Slow and steady always wins the race (i think)

 

[gottaluvkh1992]

so sad, but think of it this way, she didnt love you and lied to you all this time and she will get what is coming to her, hopefully the boy does the same to her, and i bet you if he does she will go back to and try to get you to take her back. So then you can say see you don't like it do you, and say no i will not take you back and so therefore you can move on, i do not believe she is the one for you, if she loved you as much as she did she wouldn't do that to you would she. I have never been in the situation sorry but that is what i think should happen

 

[Ysu]

It has happened to her before. Her past boyfriends always "left her for something better." I would never do that to her, but she turned around and hurt me the same way they hurt her. I just don't even know her anymore, she's confused and doesn't know what "love" is.

But I feel better now guys, thanks for all the support. I just have to put my mind on something else, and soon enough, I'll be able to keep moving forward.

 

[Bebop Blues]

i'm so sorry. you should do what i do when i'm sad. have a night out with you friends:thumbsup:it always helps. me and my friends did to help one of my other friends. she was happy less than half way through the night!

 

[gottaluvkh1992]

It has happened to her before. Her past boyfriends always "left her for something better." I would never do that to her, but she turned around and hurt me the same way they hurt her. I just don't even know her anymore, she's confused and doesn't know what "love" is.

But I feel better now guys, thanks for all the support. I just have to put my mind on something else, and soon enough, I'll be able to keep moving forward.

good luck, i wish you the best of luck

 

[Athletics Legend]

Sorry to hear that...

Well atleast you dont have her. I would have rather got rid off someone who was probably going to get tempted and go with another boy than to go out with that person who could have ditched me...

 

[Wehrmacht]

Well, it seems I'm a little late, but I felt I should say something as well. I do have an idea of what you're feeling. I've never been in a relationship before, but I do know how it feels when you're totally into someone and said person does not like you back.

I'm still suffering from it actually. I suppose in the end what is best is for you to try and put this behind you. Moping about it won't do you much good. Eventually you'll find someone else. Well, I doubt I will, but I'm pretty sure about you.

 

[Shadukai X]

I literally got through the exact same kind of relationship as you, so I can connect completely.

As for myself, I'm sort of lost also. You're pretty mch used to the thought of being with her, so thinking of life without her is hard to formulate. This may seem like a cliche', but I've basically just been getting through it everyday, trying to establish thoughts of life without her, so I can move on. More and more the thought of not having her in my life has become more established, so now things don't seem so bad.

My advice to you is to do the same, but you'll probably do it naturally anyways.

 

[dark___edge]

I know how you feel.. I've been through that too. What you need to do is find another girl.

 

[Thelonepickle]

^Because rebounding is always such an intelligent move. :/

Honestly, I think the best you can do is accept that you still love her, but that you can't be with her. At LEAST for now. Maybe someday she'll come crawling back, but when/if she does, you'll have a whole new issue on your hands - wondering whether or not it'd be in your best interest to take her back.

For now, say to yourself, "Yes, I love her, I know I do, but it's not going to happen, so I'm just going to give myself some time to heal." You're alone again? No problem; it's just time for you to think about yourself. Now that you have this under your belt, it's time to reflect. What has this taught you about what you want in a relationship? Through this horrible case, you can better learn about what girls would suit you better.

This doesn't mean that you should go chasing skirts immediately. You may just want to forget about dating/relationships for a month or so at least. See where you are then. Until then, it's not a bad idea to pour yourself into healthy distractions, like exercise, homework, work, etc. As long as you're not driving yourself into the ground, you should be fine.

To summarize:
-Take a break from chicks for a while. Seeing as how you felt so strongly about this one, you probably weren't planning to jump back into dating/relationships so soon anyway.
-Reflect on the situation only to learn. Don't dwell too much on the sad stuff, just think about what you've learned.
-Accept that you still have feelings for her, and may for a very long time.
-Don't be too hard on yourself.

Take it as easily as possible. At least you still have yourself. If no one else is around, you can still always trust YOU. Take comfort in that. You got screwed over, but you're okay. It's going to take a while, but just go in steps. You'll be fine.

<3 Gud luck! :O!

 

[Ysu]

Thats really the best post I've read yet. Thanks for the advice, most of which I'm already implementing. I have been working out like crazy lol, its a great stress reliever. I'm not going after anyone, although some girls have offered, I'm not the kind that rebounds just like that *cough* like she did *cough*.

If she ever does come crawling back, she'll need a miracle for me to accept her back after all this, regardless of whether I love her or not.

Thanks for all the advice guys, I hope to help you all out someday in the same way.