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Asking Someone for Their Phone Number



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Max

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I recently went through a situation of asking a girl for her number, and some of my biggest questions I pondered were "what exactly should I say?" and "how exactly do I go about this?"

I'm not looking for advice really, I already worked out my situation in my own way, but I want to hear from both the sides of the men and the women what you think of asking/being asked, what is okay to say and what isn't, how exactly would you or wouldn't you go about it? I am just genuinely curious, as I had never actually had to ask for someone's number I was interested in prior to this, I was always on the other side of it, so it was very awkward for me.
 

robvandam111

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If you're comfortable talking to her. Just ask, if she says "sure" or "yes", you have the green light. If there's no fluid on the conversations then its a lot harder. If she's the type of girl that very open. Just go for it. That type of feeling comes at you naturally. And make sure you value yourself first meaning no matter what you do in life the other person feels also comfortable about it.
 

A

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the more you think about it, the harder it comes just let it flow naturally.
 

VoidGear.

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Really depends.
Best way is to just "be yourself" in my opinion, because playing it cool and pretending to be someone you aren't will backfire sooner or later anyways.
I'd just stick with the truth. Tell the person the reason you'd like their number and it'll be fine, I think. Honesty's the key.
 

The Conquerer

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When I'm feeling super confident and I know the girl is already into me, I'm not asking for her number, I am already assuming that she is willing to give me her number. I then proceed to write it down. Example:

(After ice is broken and we know there is chemistry)

*I pull out my phone and tell her to put her number into it*

Example 2:

Me: "I am going to take your number down. *Pull out phone*

Her: "Well I am going to give it to you. It is 555-5555."

She is either going to give you her number or not. You are conveying to her that you have done this before. Remain indifferent. There will be more. She may change her mind at the end after you've built up enough rapport if she initially decided not to give you her number.

Some of this has a lot to do with understanding psychology of men and women, do not fake the funk by just repeating lines, the real you will show out with constant exposure and she'll know if you're bullshitting. That's why it's important to develop (not be someone else, but a you that you would be proud of) yourself and know her too (at least enough in the beginning).
 
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KingdomKey

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Out of curiosity, how do you tell somebody you're not comfortable giving out your phone number? Is there a polite way to do it?

In relation to the question: I'm kind of surprised people still exchange numbers. I shouldn't be, but I guess it's because I'm used to everyone being on social media; facebook, skype, and ect. Yeah, definitely be yourself for asking for somebodies phone number and don't make it a big deal, because that'll make it seem like you're pressuring them for it. Which can be quite uncomfortable to be in. *knows from experience*
 

Max

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Out of curiosity, how do you tell somebody you're not comfortable giving out your phone number? Is there a polite way to do it?

In relation to the question: I'm kind of surprised people still exchange numbers. I shouldn't be, but I guess it's because I'm used to everyone being on social media; facebook, skype, and ect. Yeah, definitely be yourself for asking for somebodies phone number and don't make it a big deal, because that'll make it seem like you're pressuring them for it. Which can be quite uncomfortable to be in. *knows from experience*

You know, I'm really not sure the answer to your question. I mean you could bluntly just tell them that you're sorry but you aren't interested in giving them your number, but I don't think there is a super-polite no one gets hurt guaranteed way to turn someone down. Some people will take it harder than others, that's just how it is. I definitely don't recommend just giving it out if you aren't interested for fear of hurting someone's feelings though.

As far as your remark about being surprised that people still do it due to social media, from my experience it still isn't really the same thing. People add others on facebook and the like all the time, many times people they might not even know (I keep my friend list pretty bare bones, people I actually talk to). It's hard for me to put into words, but I would say that actually communicating via phone vs. social media is still different in a way, but that could just be me.

I appreciate all of the responses though everyone, it's interesting to see everyone's different views or experiences on the matter. I've asked a few people around school I know as well, and everyone has something different to chime in. My favorite was: "Okay, tell her you need to ask her two questions. 1. If you take a hot pocket out of the microwave and the middle is cold, do you reheat it, or just eat it as is? 2. Can I have your number?" Oh, Ben, he has a way with words.
 
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