Help/Support ► Argh, confused.

[stephaknee]

This is sort of a follow up thread from the "lol, crazy?" one I posted a while ago. (link) I've been working on that, and it's been getting better, but still hard to deal with. He's been hanging out with his friends way more than he ever has. He sees them more than he sees me, now. I've also found myself becoming more obsessive and paranoid. I'm constantly questioning whether he loves me. He insists he does, but I still can't bring myself to fully believe him. I feel like the best way to get over this would be to break up with him. But I really don't want to not be with him.. I'm really confused, and just wanted to hear some opinions or something.

I've been feeling especially depressed lately, so I've tried talking to him. He told me that he's been getting annoyed that I can't get over it, so I can't even really talk to him anymore. And ugh, I'm starting to restrict him from doing the things that he wants to. His best friend's 18th birthday is in August, and they want to go to Canada together.. I'd be fine with that, however, he plans to go to strip clubs and drinking. The drinking I'd be okay with, but he has told me if I went drinking with my friends, he'd break up with me. The strip club I am definitely not okay with, at all. I told him I didn't want him going, and after some frustration, he agreed. But now I feel guilty and bleh. Don't know if I should break up with him or not. <:/

 

[Trigger]

let's see what their ideas are on this

 

[Deeman]

^Spam.

Do you still have feelings for him? Look deep down into your heart; do you think maybe it's time to move on?

It sounds to me that you're being a bit paranoid. You need to stop worrying so much. He can still have friends, you know; he's not restricted only to you. Let him have his social life.

Is his best friend a girl? If so, that would not be good. "Something" could start while they were in Canada.

 

[stephaknee]

^Spam.

Do you still have feelings for him? Look deep down into your heart; do you think maybe it's time to move on?

It sounds to me that you're being a bit paranoid. You need to stop worrying so much. He can still have friends, you know; he's not restricted only to you. Let him have his social life.

Is his best friend a girl? If so, that would not be good. "Something" could start while they were in Canada.

No, his best friend is a male. And yes, I know I still have feelings for him, but it still might be time to move on. <:/ If I were to end the relationship, it would be so I could sort through my unwanted habits.

 

[ViVi94]

I think it could just be paranoia (which is perfectly normal) my mom has to deal with "you cant go out today, I'M going out today" and all that, baisicly like the "you cant drink" situation your having, even though it isnt right, its what men do, and I think you need to talk to his friends, and try to bribe something out of them or something.

 

[Disluxia]

What's the big deal with a strip club

do you have a problem with him looking at porn? cause its the same thing

 

[Trigger]

^Spam.

That was not spam, I have supported her throughout this whole thing more than you will ever know, I was merely showing that she continues to have my support.

 

[stephaknee]

What's the big deal with a strip club

do you have a problem with him looking at porn? cause its the same thing

There's a slight difference between beating off to two people having sex on a screen and lusting over a girl that's taking her clothes off in front of you.

 

[The Conquerer]

How come you never went to these places with him? Perhaps you can ask to come along next time. Although you don't always want to tag along, but sometimes you can ask to come with him, if its not too much of a problem.

but he has told me if I went drinking with my friends, he'd break up with me.

What your boyfriend is saying right there is complete bull. In America the both of you would still be under the drinking age. Why don't you confront him about that and ask him "why can't I drink?" Perhaps you two could come up with a solution.

The strip club I am definitely not okay with, at all. I told him I didn't want him going, and after some frustration, he agreed. But now I feel guilty and bleh. Don't know if I should break up with him or not. <:/

Would you be happier if you told him to go? If you still have feelings for him then you two could still work something out, but breaking up with him is entirely your choice.

Relationships can be so hard. I like being single and I plan not to get another girlfriend for awhile. Perhaps you need some time off, who knows, its up to you.

 

[Johnny Stooge]

How come you never went to these places with him? Perhaps you can ask to come along next time. Although you don't always want to tag along, but sometimes you can ask to come with him, if its not too much of a problem.

Cardinal rule. Big NO NO. (Excuse me, Baka) When you are out with the boys, you do not ring the GF, you do not text the GF and you NEVER, EVER bring the GF.
It sets such a crappy mood for the single ones.


If you think breaking up with him to clear you head is the right choice, then do so. That's what my ex-girlfriend chose to do (And we're back on good speaking terms.). I think some space might do you some good. Though not so much a break up. A hiatus, perhaps? Let him go with his boys and you clear your head. Then come back and decide.

 

[Tyler Durden]

You know, the whole strip club thing I do not agree with. Except for the fact that it isn't his idea, it it his friends.

18th birthday? They will probably end up getting a hooker for the dude as well. But as for your boyfriend, he is being a hypocrite. If he doens't want you to drink, then he shouldn't drink either. Unless you handle alcohol very badly and he doesn't.


But if he is out with the boys, leave him alone. For the most part- in no way is a strip club appropriate for a non-single guy. If he goes, break up with him. But don't be surprised if he breaks up with you if you call him constantly. It shows that

1- You are obsessive
2- You are paranoid
3- You don't trust him.


And if he doesn't think you trust him (which apparently you don't) then why should he be with you? Relationships need trust.

 

[Davy Jones]

Well, you have to do what you think is right. If you have strong feelings for him, just talk to him. You should be able to trust him if you feel you have a connection. The same goes for him. Still, drinking at eighteen could start some problems. So if you feel you must break up, then do so. You can't restrict yourself to a life of worry. If its making you depressed, then stop the relationship and lift your spirits. You have to look within to find what to do: no one can change your mind.

(Sorry if this was a total waste for you. My advice is kinda bad to me...)