Short bursts of writing tends to fit my lifestyle better. My description does need a bit of work, seeing as I can be incredibly descriptive at one point, and then not at all at another.
Thanks much for the critique.
Fanfiction ► Aqua
- Thread starter JH
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Short bursts of writing tends to fit my lifestyle better. My description does need a bit of work, seeing as I can be incredibly descriptive at one point, and then not at all at another.
Thanks much for the critique.
No problem.
Just keep up the writing.
Its very attention grabbing.
Just keep up the writing.
Its very attention grabbing.
I try to cut off each post at a point of suspense, causing readers to want more. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
EDIT: I'll update with Chapter Three sometime tomorrow, most likely tomorrow night. I'll be updating 'Terra' tonight.
Thats not a bad idea.
Maybe I'll try that with my fanfic.
I would never have thought of that.
Of course I end my chapters at more cliffhangers than anything else.
Maybe I'll try that with my fanfic.
I would never have thought of that.
Of course I end my chapters at more cliffhangers than anything else.
I know there are some of you still reading and not commenting. Come now, don't be shy.
---
The briefing room wasn't anything special. It was one of the more dull rooms in the temple, with blan colored walls and no windows to be seen. In the middle of the room a long black table extended from one wall to the other, and chairs were evenly spaced along the sides of it. Too large, glorified chairs stood at each end. At the far end of the table, a man sat comfortably in one of the large chairs. He was wearing a uniform similar to Terra's. His hair was jet black and combed back and a nonchalant look covered his face.
"Welcome." The man greeted them. His voice was monotone.
Terra, Aqua, and Ven each took a bow of respect. The man nodded in appreciation.
"Please, sit down." He ordered.
The three migrated over to the chairs on the side on the table. They each slid a chair out from under, sat down, and them scooted themselves back in. Aqua kept her arms on her lap, while giving a polite smile to the man. Ven looked down at the ground, twiddling his thumbs at his knees. Terra folded his arms over the table and looked at the man with a serious face.
"Why have we been requested?" Terra questioned, a slight annoyance in his voice.
The man tilted his head sideways, resting it on his hand. He focused on Terra.
"You act as if this is not an honor, Terra," The man accused, "To be given such a mission as I am about to bestow, you should be glad."
Upon hearing the word 'mission', Ven raised his head in interest and turned to look at the man.
He exclaimed, "What kind of mission?"
"Settle down, Ven." Aqua whispered.
"No, no," The man interjected, "It is good that he is excited. That is just the type of attitude I expected from all of you."
He shot a glare at Terra. Terra turned his head away in shame, bestowing an awkward silence on the room.
"If I may ask, sir," Aqua began, interrupting the silence, "Just what is our task to be done?"
The man directed his gaze from Terra to Aqua.
"I am glad you have asked, Aqua," He answered, "Your task is one of utmost importance. Master Xehanort, you may know him, and his apprentice have suddenly dropped out of contact with us. We have no knowledge of his whereabouts, nor of what he is doing.
The man placed his elbows on top of the table and folded his hands together.
"While it may be a simple search party mission, we advise that you proceed with caution, as the truth of Xehanort's disappearance may define a larger problem. Understand?"
The three nodded. While Ven couldn't sit still with excitement, Aqua and Terra looked at each other in dismay. They both agreed mentally that the man wasn't telling them the whole truth about the scenario.
The man continued, "While I was hesitant to assign this particular message to you three, your Master heavily suggested that I do s--"
"You've heard from our Master?" Terra cut him off, "What news of him do you hold?"
The man paused for a moment, insulted by Terra's interruption. Regardless, he answered his question.
"You're master," He replied, "Was last heard from in the Enchanted Kingdom, consulting with the residents there about classified information."
Aqua thought about questioning what the information was, but saw it was for the best not to.
Instead, she asked, "When are we to leave on our mission?"
The man pulled some papers from his pocket, reviewing them.
"'Terra -------, Aqua -------, and Ventus ------ have been confirmed for departure on Mission #299234 as of the 4th day of Eversun,'" He read from a piece of yellow paper, "'Said participants are to depart promptly on the 5th of Eversun at 1300."
Terra, Aqua, and Ven all turned at the same time to look at the clock that rested on blank wall behind the man. 1200. They were to leave in one hour.
---
-continued from last post-
The briefing room wasn't anything special. It was one of the more dull rooms in the temple, with blan colored walls and no windows to be seen. In the middle of the room a long black table extended from one wall to the other, and chairs were evenly spaced along the sides of it. Too large, glorified chairs stood at each end. At the far end of the table, a man sat comfortably in one of the large chairs. He was wearing a uniform similar to Terra's. His hair was jet black and combed back and a nonchalant look covered his face.
"Welcome." The man greeted them. His voice was monotone.
Terra, Aqua, and Ven each took a bow of respect. The man nodded in appreciation.
"Please, sit down." He ordered.
The three migrated over to the chairs on the side on the table. They each slid a chair out from under, sat down, and them scooted themselves back in. Aqua kept her arms on her lap, while giving a polite smile to the man. Ven looked down at the ground, twiddling his thumbs at his knees. Terra folded his arms over the table and looked at the man with a serious face.
"Why have we been requested?" Terra questioned, a slight annoyance in his voice.
The man tilted his head sideways, resting it on his hand. He focused on Terra.
"You act as if this is not an honor, Terra," The man accused, "To be given such a mission as I am about to bestow, you should be glad."
Upon hearing the word 'mission', Ven raised his head in interest and turned to look at the man.
He exclaimed, "What kind of mission?"
"Settle down, Ven." Aqua whispered.
"No, no," The man interjected, "It is good that he is excited. That is just the type of attitude I expected from all of you."
He shot a glare at Terra. Terra turned his head away in shame, bestowing an awkward silence on the room.
"If I may ask, sir," Aqua began, interrupting the silence, "Just what is our task to be done?"
The man directed his gaze from Terra to Aqua.
"I am glad you have asked, Aqua," He answered, "Your task is one of utmost importance. Master Xehanort, you may know him, and his apprentice have suddenly dropped out of contact with us. We have no knowledge of his whereabouts, nor of what he is doing.
The man placed his elbows on top of the table and folded his hands together.
"While it may be a simple search party mission, we advise that you proceed with caution, as the truth of Xehanort's disappearance may define a larger problem. Understand?"
The three nodded. While Ven couldn't sit still with excitement, Aqua and Terra looked at each other in dismay. They both agreed mentally that the man wasn't telling them the whole truth about the scenario.
The man continued, "While I was hesitant to assign this particular message to you three, your Master heavily suggested that I do s--"
"You've heard from our Master?" Terra cut him off, "What news of him do you hold?"
The man paused for a moment, insulted by Terra's interruption. Regardless, he answered his question.
"You're master," He replied, "Was last heard from in the Enchanted Kingdom, consulting with the residents there about classified information."
Aqua thought about questioning what the information was, but saw it was for the best not to.
Instead, she asked, "When are we to leave on our mission?"
The man pulled some papers from his pocket, reviewing them.
"'Terra -------, Aqua -------, and Ventus ------ have been confirmed for departure on Mission #299234 as of the 4th day of Eversun,'" He read from a piece of yellow paper, "'Said participants are to depart promptly on the 5th of Eversun at 1300."
Terra, Aqua, and Ven all turned at the same time to look at the clock that rested on blank wall behind the man. 1200. They were to leave in one hour.
More, more, I need more, but first, update TERRA!!!
To make things clear, "------" is to represent their last names, seeing as we don't know them.
Clever. Very clever indeed.
More More More MOre More I need to read more genues.
awsom mor mor mor mor i need more
PLEASE, MORE! PLEASE! Do you know how good your writing is?...*falls on knees crying* But first update Terra!!!!
Just read all of Terra in about 3 minutes, give or take. Update both off these faster. Or we'll find you.
Also, if possible, make chapters longer.
Also, if possible, make chapters longer.
I figure if I put more chapters I can afford to keep them short.
Flawed logic, probably.
Technically yes, this would work, but you could still make them a little longer. Either way I'm fine as long as you don't do what James Patterson did with Maximum Ride and have the average chapter 1 1/2 paragraphs to 3-4 pages.
Haha, I actually read that series. Maybe that's where this short chapter thing of mine is coming from.
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Great update again, JakeH. This story is getting good now. i cannot wait until the next update.
Yes he does. And just noticing this. How come your not doing him as a story like your doing with Aqua and Terra? Just wondering...
He said that he's going too. It'd be kind of tough to do three stories at once, right?
Nah, I'm not doing a Ven one. I figure both Terra and Aqua provide enough information to make up for it.
However, I am making a Master Xehanort one, just not right now.
Dang, a Ven would be great. Master Xehanort will be cool, though. When is DS going to appear in Terra and Aqua?
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