Help/Support ► Anger

[The Big Lovin']

So, I got this little problem. Normaly, I'm very, very good with self-control and am very passive in my ways. But lately, for an unkown reason, I will suddenly become very stressed and I will begin to get very angry, to the point where I literally tear nearly everyone limb from limb. I mean, most of the time I mentaly surpress the emotion, but now its progressed to a physical state. I mean, I've tried working out, taking walks, and countless other things. I've even resorted to self-abuse it has become so bad. Basically, I turn into the hulk. I've tried not smoking, and at the moment, am winning. But I'm not sure for how long. I don't know how to surpress this random emotion. Any thoughts?

 

[Lord of Chaos]

Woah, em-- No, not even going to go there for a joke this time.

First off, congrats on winning the fight of not smoking. You're too young anyway. Don't give me reasoning either, smoking kills you either way.

At any rate, it sounds like maybe you've done what I did a long time ago. See, I was the kind of kid that you are now. I was a mostly passive kind of guy, I didn't really let stuff get to me... sure I'd give my opinion and tell them what I thought once in a while, but for the most part, it didn't effect me...

What I didn't know, is that no matter what you do, it still builds up inside. Think of it like a dam -- sure you stop the water, but a little is going to get past every time. That example aside, one day, it all finally came out. Me (I was 12 at the time) and my 16-year-old cousin (who weighed like 190 lbs, about 6'3) were rough-housing around, and I was starting to get annoyed by it because I didn't want to do it anymore. Well, around that point, he tried to DDT me and I ended up smacking my head into the wall.

It clicked.

It basically set off this bomb that had built up over the years. I just snapped, and next thing I knew, my parents and his parents were in there pulling me off of him, because I was choking the life out of him. To this day, he still talks differently.

It sounds like you have a build up of pressure. For some people, taking walks and shit like that won't work. You have to find that medium in which to express your emotions. That's why some people resort to self-abuse: it lets them express their feelings in a way that someone will notice -- themselves.

At least, that's what kind of problem it sounds like to me. You need to just find a way to channel all this. I know I sound like some kind of psycho-quack, but it does work when you find the right way. Hell, also, it would help if you actually took a more active stance once in a while, instead of a passive one. It keeps it from building up.

If this doesn't help, gladly PM me. Hope it does though.

 

[Little_Red]

when you get angry, try taking a deep breath and closing your eyes for a minute. i've had some similiar situation with that too. you could also take up another hobby or something, like art, it's a good way of releasing that bad feelings onto a piece of paper rather than on someone's face

i hope that can be of some help to u

 

[Infinity's End]

Well...I like to pet my cat when I'm angry, scientist's say its proven the blood pressure lowers when you pet an animal or pet.

^^

 

[The Big Lovin']

Erm, thanks everyone. And LoC, its not "cutting" self abuse. More like fighting a tree and losing, or something along those lines. Bashing your head against the wall, punching a door and nearly breaking your hand, kinda sitation. I mean, football and working out were my outlet for the longest time and that is not working anymore. Hell, by the time I reach the height of my anger, I have some much andrenline in body, I can rip a phone book in half like a piece of paper(I wish I had taken photos). I'm glad when these little surges happen no one is around. I mean, I would have suspected that it was my anger building up, but I'm not sure if thats exactly what it is. I mean, I have never exploded on someone. Hell, whenever I get in trouble and know exactly every word I want to say and know I'm right, but I just don't and take the punishment for whatever I did. I just brush it off my shoulder and continue with what I was doing. I don't know. Its just a little fustrationg not knowing what is happening to me =/

 

[Lord of Chaos]

No offense, but you're 15 -- odds are, you're still in a very hormonal stage.

 

[The Big Lovin']

True, but do hormones actually cause these things?

 

[Zero Sora]

Trig, just make sure you don't beat someone's head in with a rock like I did... and above all... don't enjoy it like I did.

It seems that when you get stressed you should watch porn or stare at some breasts or something. Yeah I know "Oh mah godz pr0n!!" seriously though, I read that watching porn is a good stress reliever. And it's ok to release your anger someway, everyone does and will snap at some point in their life. Just try not to let it get the better of you.

 

[the loose moose]

get a gun and shoot yourself in the leg
or take like st johns wort (anger control pill)

 

[Shadukai X]

True, but do hormones actually cause these things?

Sadly, yes it does. You could be just overall stressed out from not doing anything. When was the last time you spent a day hanging out with a group of friends? That usually helps me out.

 

[Infinity's End]

Well, I find if I smell cat food, it makes me angrier, so don't try that

 

[the loose moose]

i find if i smell cat food it makes me think
"wait, we dont have a cat.."

 

[pk para]

If you don't know what's the cause of your anger, it could always be some psychialogical (sp) desease. Try to find the thing causing all of your stress (or anger) and go from there.


But I could always be wrong. (about the medical part)

Anyways, that's all I can think of, hope it helps in some small way.



P.S. Stay off of drugs. I've had quite a few people in my family die due to drug problems. =[.

 

[The Big Lovin']

Sadly, yes it does. You could be just overall stressed out from not doing anything. When was the last time you spent a day hanging out with a group of friends? That usually helps me out.

I hang out with my freinds and girl freind in and out of school. hanging out with my freind usually stresses me out even more for some reason. They have become rather annoying lately. Being with my girl has been the only thing that has calmed me down, but she isn't going to be with me 24/7. She has a life too, and I want her to succed in school and be with her freinds as well.

 

[Katattack]

Um, I don't think Porn is the way to go, considering if you watch it every time you're angry, you're probably going to get an addiction to it....

Since athletics aren't a proper outlet anymore, it's obvious you need to find an additional hobby to help relieve your stress. Do you have any other hobbies that help you feel calmer?

As for your friends, if they're really annoying you lately, you need to rethink the friendship, try and see what's been bothering you about them lately.

Good luck!

 

[Tyler Durden]

I hang out with my freinds and girl freind in and out of school. hanging out with my freind usually stresses me out even more for some reason. They have become rather annoying lately. Being with my girl has been the only thing that has calmed me down, but she isn't going to be with me 24/7. She has a life too, and I want her to succed in school and be with her freinds as well.

See, I have the same problem as you do. I recently thought about it, and I came up with an answer.

The reason you are still happy around your girlfriend and NOT happy around her is because you NEED her.

When she is around, you feel better about yourself because she tells you how much she loves you/ whatever she says. When you ARENT around her, you arent getting that affirmation. You lash out after she is gone because its like a drug in the way that you are detoxing- you have become addicted to that feeling, and when you don't have that feeling, it hurts more than it normally would.

[That, and testosterone is pumping through your body more than blood. If you look down and see that you're 'bleeding' its not blood, it's pure testosterone]

 

[Cid Highwind]

ha, actually i heard that masturbation relieves stress so if you are getting really stressed out, maybe that could help you out.

i also agree with letting out a medium of anger. if you let it issues brush off of you, it will built up until one point you just burst with anger and such. if your friends are being annoying, tell them off like "stfu" or w/e. let them know that they are being annoying, and they might stop.

if you can find a stress reducer game that would be good also, just any way you can let off steam without trying to affect others.

marijuana might help, but it looks like you are off the whole smoking thing, so maybe that's not a good idea.

sorry if this wasn't much help, but good luck.

 

[The Big Lovin']

See, I have the same problem as you do. I recently thought about it, and I came up with an answer.

The reason you are still happy around your girlfriend and NOT happy around her is because you NEED her.

When she is around, you feel better about yourself because she tells you how much she loves you/ whatever she says. When you ARENT around her, you arent getting that affirmation. You lash out after she is gone because its like a drug in the way that you are detoxing- you have become addicted to that feeling, and when you don't have that feeling, it hurts more than it normally would.

No, thats not it. I know for sure that isn't it. Its possible, but very, very unlikely.

[That, and testosterone is pumping through your body more than blood. If you look down and see that you're 'bleeding' its not blood, it's pure testosterone]

Hmm, didn't know that. I should check that out.

ha, actually i heard that masturbation relieves stress so if you are getting really stressed out, maybe that could help you out.

I know it does, but I don't need to masturbate...lmao

i also agree with letting out a medium of anger. if you let it issues brush off of you, it will built up until one point you just burst with anger and such. if your friends are being annoying, tell them off like "stfu" or w/e. let them know that they are being annoying, and they might stop.

Thing is, its very hard for me to get angry, period. Thats why it startled me when I turned into the hulk xD

marijuana might help, but it looks like you are off the whole smoking thing, so maybe that's not a good idea.

Yeah, not a good idea at the moment. Girl dosn't mind it, but she dosn't like it. So just ignore it.

sorry if this wasn't much help, but good luck.

Thanks anyways.

I appreciate the help guys, but I don't think I'm getting what I'm looking for. I don't even know what I'm looking for. Still, thanks for posting.

 

[member #8 Axel]

There are several things you can try, and it may take awhile to find the one that works for you. Here's a list of things that you can do:


I find these methods usefull


1) Take a walk--getting some fresh air and taking a time out from everything might give you a chance to clear your head
2) Meditate
3) Exercise--it releases endorphines, which help your body feel better
4) Cathartic writing--this one works for me...if you're mad at a specific person, write them a letter telling them how pissed off you are but don't send it. If it's just life in general, keep a journal about what's going on in your life and how you're feeling about it.
5) Learn to laugh about it! It may seem like a HUGE deal now, but if you can find humor in a stressful situation, it's likely to not get you so worked up.
6) Try aromatherapy, especially with meditation. Certain scents tend to send cues to the brain saying "relax," much like smelling food can make us salivate or feel hungry.
7) Take up a hobby, or if you already have one, make some time to enjoy it! You need time for YOU, and since no one else is going to GIVE it to you, you need to set aside time for it!

 

[var1ables]

Well, as stated above, mediate. I was kinda pissed off all the time before(as can seen in my first months here) I started mediating. I calmed down, and well felt good. Another thing sleep. It may help.

I know how you feel, but if you think you'll cause any physical harm to yourself or to your fellow man, seek help.(sounds like an after school special doesn't it?) Talk to someone, family, doctor,friends, anyone.