Dial 'M' for 'Motherfucker'
- Nov 22, 2006
- Location Location
Today, we'll be learning a little bit about the man behind 'Sam'.... again.
"¡Carajo, jiho de puta!"
Are you ready, Samsonite? Interview time. If you were in a threesome with a man and a woman... and the man at one point attempted to do you up the butt. What would you do?
I'd ask myself why I was having a threesome with another man in the first place. There is nothing sexy about the thought of London Bridging a girl.
Have you ever been in a fight?
I've been in a few fights. None of them were too serious, and only twice have I ever been on my own during the fight. I remember once, four guys jumped me but my friends Zack and Abraham were there. Me and Abraham each took on one guy, and Zack took on the other two, beat the shit out of both of them before me or Abraham were even close to seeing an end, and then picked a fight with some random bystander just because he could. Dude is a fucking beast.
Awesome. So hey what's your relationship with your parent(s) like?
I have a very close relationship with my parents (or, I should say, my mom and my step dad), but I think a lot of people would also call it dysfunctional. We talk about everything, and no subject is off limits, which may or may not be healthy. Both of them are also very good at annoying me, and when that happens I treat them the same way as I treat anybody else who annoys me. I'm a bad son.
So a sort of casual relationship with a bit of 'fucks' and 'shits' then?
That's an understatement. If you want an example, earlier today I injured my finger and my dad came up to my room with an ice pack and ordered me to put my dick in it. He was joking, of course, but – and maybe I’m wrong – that kind of humor doesn’t seem common in parental relationships.
So you play the git box. the geetar. the axe... are you in a band or anything?
I've played with some friends before, but they all tend to suffer from a condition that I call "you fucking suck at playing your respective instrument". Not like I am Satriani or anything, but not many people that I've met or had the chance to play with are at my level or have any interest in the sort of music I like. This is why I wish Ric lived closer to me.
You should come over here and we can make an avant-garde psych band neooyyoooo. So what do you do in your spare time as well as guitar and internetting? Do you have any weird hobbies?
I'm a big gamer, but no game has come out since Fallout 3 that I've really felt was worth playing. And I'm on my fourth character now, so it might be time to give that a rest. But weird hobbies? Not really. Whenever I see somebody do something innovative with a guitar I'll devote weeks of my life to emulating it, but that isn't really weird, just obsessive.
I see. I see. If you were to come over to the UK and if we were to hang out n shit. How sexual would it get? I know you like the younger ones.
Very sexual. After fucking all of your female relatives, I'd try to hook up with whatever hot English girls I could find. Not gonna lie, I think the accents are hot when done right. Keeley Hazell accents, I mean. Margaret Thatcher accent, not so much.
I meant between us, but hey that's cool, that's cool.
Oh. You're a little young for me, and a little male. Mostly male.
Even if I dressed (more) like a woman?
I might let you give me a lap dance if I was feeling generous.
I look forward to it. Have you ever been abroad? Apart from MEHICO MEHICO ANDALE ANDALE ARIBAAAAA.
I have been to Mexico, several times, but I’ve never left the North American continent.
That's a shame.
Where would you like to go?
Everywhere. But if I had to choose a few places... New Orleans would be nice, and I've heard that Lapland is really beautiful. Any city in the Middle East. I know that saying this as a post-9/11 American makes me a traitor, but I've always been fascinated by Middle Eastern culture.
Middle Eastern food is great.... speaking of food, what nationalities of food do you like?
I don't usually categorize taste by nationality. I like some Italian dishes, but generally speaking they use may too much tomato. I like some Mexican foods, but they all sort of taste the same. But if I had to choose only one it would have to be Australian, honestly. They invented barbecue and you just can't top that.
croc on tha barbie.
so the inevitable question.... What music are you into as of late?
I was on sort of a Greg Dulli hiatus for awhile, but that's behind me, and I have to say that I think Powder Burns (by The Twilight Singers) is probably my favorite album of all time -- if you don't think that it's one of the most brooding, emotive, captivating things you've ever heard, you just suck.
That one’s probably my favourite TS album. I need to give it some more time.
Aside from Dulli and all of his projects, I'm still a huge fan of bands like Pain of Salvation (who released their live DVD a few weeks ago, and it is incredible), Porcupine Tree, Radiohead, Jeff Buckley...the list goes on and on. I've also been listening to Tori Amos a lot lately. She is fantastic.
Cameron isn't right about many things, so don't let it get to you.
i just wanted you to say boredoms ;_;
I don't know if I can even consider them to be a band. They're more like an aural acid trip.
That sounds like a compliment.
I like them, but I have to be in a very specific sort of mood to listen to them.
It's not good driving music, I'll say that.
haha oh god... How about films?
Slumdog Millionaire stands out as the best movie I've seen in years, which says a lot because it came out in a great year for the film industry. It won eight Oscars for a reason. Everything about it was more or less perfect.
The countless Myspace bulletins kind of hinted at that.
Word of mouth is a powerful thing. I did convince a lot of my friends to see it, and none of them had anything but praise for it. Especially the women.
Now to top this bitch off, out of these three people: Germaine Greer, Ellen DeGeneres and Bjork, which one would you
A) have a one night stand with
C) Go on a boat trip with. no sex
I'd never heard of Greer before, but authors are usually interesting to talk to so I'd assign her to C.
She's a feminist. Like, a big one.
I have a huge crush on Ellen DeGeneres. Her offbeat sense of humor is very attractive. So I’d marry her.
I don't think she'd be very attracted to you...
I know, and I also like how she's so open about her sexuality. I like the LGBT rights movement. Besides, for a woman in her fifties, she looks undeniably good.
For the one night stand, obviously Bjork. She is kind of weird looking, but I imagine she's nice...[/COLOR]
she wants to free tibet a lot.
Really? Me too. I guess we could discuss our political ideologies in between fuck sessions.[/COLOR]
It was nice talking to you Sam.
Yes, short and sweet. Unlike Rabbe's.
Alright then. Been fun, man.
Ladies and gentlemen. Sam ______ (TBA Q4 2009) has left building.