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Eternal Dream

The Messenger
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Poem duo flavored by Alice in Wonderland. They're kinda homework, thanks to a creative writing class I'm taking, and I guess you could say they're... interesting, to say the least. A little on the dark side, so use caution. Critique would be appreciated. Thanks!

Inspiration Song: Little Sister by Your Favorite Enemies

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Inspiration Song: Her Name is Alice by Shinedown

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KingdomKey

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I thought Fading Wonderland was great! It has a nice flow to it and lead up to a nice finale. =D As far as criticism goes, I think towards the end of the poem itself, I could do with less "Monsters". Then as for the "Gone. Gone." part, I actually think you could've of put them onto the next row instead of keeping them on the same lines as "The magic's gone." or the "Cheshire's grin is gone." That's just me though. I'm not really an expert on poetry. :3

My Name is Alice is my absolute favorite of the two. It painted a vivid story to say the least. Much darker than I had anticipated. I say bravo!
 
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