Alright, here we go. I'm busy writing a bundle of stories, togheter titled 'A waterfall of Tears'. Its a bundle of 7 stories, and as the name might suggest they are emotional stories. The main character in all stories, a well as this one is Dolore, he's a diffirent guy in every story, as the stories are not linked together, as in; the same world and character and such.
Anyway, this is the first story of the bundle, and the first of two which are done. I want to ask your oppinion on this story; good, bad, could improve.
I don't know, just comment! =D.
I'll post the preview first, which is written in a poetry-ish style. If I get good comments I'll post the first chapter, and so on =).
A WaterFall Of Tears..
~Nihil lacrima citius arescit~
The first Tear: Sin
My eyes watched the blood.
The blood, which slowly sought his way down, soaking my clothes.
I just stood there, staring, engulfed in a pain, which I had never felt before.
He came closer. I had to react.
The sun shined upon my sword.
My eyes followed its beams of light, till the image of blood marked my retina.
It was his dark blood that covered the blade.
He came closer. I had to react.
I stood there, watching the body and the blood soaked ground.
Tears filled my eyes and started running down my cheeks.
He came closer. I had to react.
His lifeless eyes seem to watch me, counting my tears.
I try not to notice them, those eyes full of pain, full of sorrow.
I turn around and walk away, but cannot escape.
He came closer. I had to react.
The screams and cries of battle bash against my eardrums, but I can’t hear them.
Swords clash, men crash to the ground; their last breath taken away due a piece of cold steel, but I can’t see them.
Raindrops pouring from the sky touch my battered skin, but I can't feel them.
I walk away, away from his eyes.
This is my sin.
The black sky will hunt me for it, but I won’t give in.
------------------------------------
Comment! =).
Anyway, this is the first story of the bundle, and the first of two which are done. I want to ask your oppinion on this story; good, bad, could improve.
I don't know, just comment! =D.
I'll post the preview first, which is written in a poetry-ish style. If I get good comments I'll post the first chapter, and so on =).
A WaterFall Of Tears..
~Nihil lacrima citius arescit~
The first Tear: Sin
My eyes watched the blood.
The blood, which slowly sought his way down, soaking my clothes.
I just stood there, staring, engulfed in a pain, which I had never felt before.
He came closer. I had to react.
The sun shined upon my sword.
My eyes followed its beams of light, till the image of blood marked my retina.
It was his dark blood that covered the blade.
He came closer. I had to react.
I stood there, watching the body and the blood soaked ground.
Tears filled my eyes and started running down my cheeks.
He came closer. I had to react.
His lifeless eyes seem to watch me, counting my tears.
I try not to notice them, those eyes full of pain, full of sorrow.
I turn around and walk away, but cannot escape.
He came closer. I had to react.
The screams and cries of battle bash against my eardrums, but I can’t hear them.
Swords clash, men crash to the ground; their last breath taken away due a piece of cold steel, but I can’t see them.
Raindrops pouring from the sky touch my battered skin, but I can't feel them.
I walk away, away from his eyes.
This is my sin.
The black sky will hunt me for it, but I won’t give in.
------------------------------------
Comment! =).