A saint that is not seen is not adored



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Nehxaa666

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yaoi, kakairu, fluff

He woke up to the smell of purity; white sweetness. He wondered if that was the snow still falling outside or the naked, perfect body that laid motionless next to him, sound asleep. Either way, it really didn’t matter to him. Kakashi stared at Iruka with no feeling.

However, even though their relationship has lasted over a full year, and Iruka constantly told Kakashi how much he loved him, Kakashi just never seemed to return the feelings for him. And it wasn’t that he didn’t really like Iruka, it was just that he was…incapable.

“Wha-?” whispers Iruka, his eyes opening. Seeing Kakashi by his side, he smiled and sat up, hugging the built man around his stomach. “Good morning, ai!” he chanted, kissing the tight muscles on the sides of Kakashi’s stomach. Kakashi didn’t respond however, just merely got out of bed, leaving to get dressed.

Iruka sighed depressingly, sad that no matter how much he told Kakashi that he loved him, no matter how much time they spent together or talked, Kakashi could never return the feeling. What was even sadder was that it was Iruka’s birthday the next day, and he would probably be with Kakashi’s empty emotions again that night…that is if he could even stand it again.

Sighing again, he heard his door close and watched as the shadowed figure left to go find his squad of Genin. It didn’t really matter though, Iruka had a class anyways.

---

“Kakashi-sensei!” yelled an orange headed Genin, playing a game of kunai tag with the white haired boy hiding in the trees. He smiled upon seeing his sensei show up in the clearing and began to ignore his hiding team mate. It was too much fun messing with his perverted teacher. “You’re late!”

“Yes, yes” moaned Kakashi.

The blue haired girl smiled jokingly at Kakashi, pushing a pencil against her lip and letting her notepad full of jutsu techniques fall to her side. “Kakashi-sensei was up all night with Iruka-sensei.”

The orange headed ninja laughed out loud, almost falling from the branch he sat on. The white haired ninja came out of hiding place and smirked lightly at his gay teacher. And the blue haired Kounichi(sp?) tried to hold back her perverted glee.

“Laugh all you want children.” Kakashi muttered. “You’re immaturity will hold you back from becoming Chunnin.”

They all sharpened up at the same time, each appearing by Kakashi’s side in their own manner.

---

Iruka sat at his desk, sighing over the un-graded stack of papers, a red pen in his hand and the other pinching at his thigh. Why doesn’t Kakashi love me? Cried Iruka into the desk without letting his students see. I do everything for him, I listen to him and I try to help him with anything he needs. Why doesn’t he love me?

These questions weren’t new. Iruka found himself asking these things everyday and it was getting worse each time. No answers were found and he wondered if things would ever change.

Suddenly, another paper was handed in, and Iruka, in shock looked up. His teary eyes were met by those of Uchiha Sasuke. The young boy looked confused at his sensei’s expression, and there was a moment of awkwardness. Iruka formulated what to say in his head, however, before he could say a thing, Sasuke just walked away. Iruka, embarrassed by the sudden exposure buried his head again and wiped away the tears. That was enough unwanted attention for the day.

---

The sun was setting, and the open windows allowed the warm orange glow to spill into the room. Iruka finished grading the last paper and sat back against his chair, sighing for what seemed like the millionth time that day. He knew he would soon have to return to his home, where Kakashi would be sitting emotionless, as if he was nothing more than a bored captive.

I hate it how he always looks at me that way; as if I am nothing more than just…air. Iruka held back a tear and a shaky sigh as he lowered his head once again. His hands were shaking against the wooden table and his feet numbed quickly, leaving nothing but a stinging pain.

“Sensei?” came a small and shy voice. Iruka looked up quickly, similar to the way he had earlier. And Sasuke stood there once again, staring at his sad teacher. Blushing deeply, the raven haired boy didn’t look directly into his teacher’s eyes, but more towards the nearest corner of his desk. Fingers pinching his sides, the boy mumbled his words and spoke softly. “If it’s Kakashi that you’re sighing about-“ he began.

Iruka gasped at the sudden words, shocked that his twelve year not only knew about his teacher’s relationship, but also spoke so freely about the homosexual partnership in public. Sasuke didn’t stop talking though, although his speech became faster.

“Try asking him about my relative, Uchiha Obito.” And with that, the young boy rushed out the door, heading for his lonely estate. Iruka sighed, watching the boy leave his sight and wondering what he meant by that.

---

“Remember Mihyo, Junko, and Himiko,” whispered Kakashi to his excited students. Leaning down, he gave them their final lecture. “In the ninja world, those who don't follow the rules are considered trash, but those who don't protect their comrades are worse than trash." They all nodded at him, smiling.

Turning towards a brown haired female ninja, their smiles became even wider. Then, at Kakashi’s request, they all headed toward the woman known as Rin.

Kakashi waved goodbye to his team for the last time, watching as they left to go to their new teacher who would take them to the Chunnin Exam where he would never see them again. Watching them leave his sight, he compared them to his own team, slightly afraid of how the outcome might turn out to be. But if they died, it wouldn’t be any different. He was already immune to the sadness that humans felt.

No…I’m really not. But I can pretend. His team disappeared over the horizon, ready to face the world and leaving Hatake Kakashi to sigh shallowly. Then, Kakashi began to walk back towards the house where he was sure that Iruka waited for his birthday surprise, aka sex.

Kakashi sighed, listening to his steps and watching the swirling leaves flee from his heavy bounds, leaving the wounded to be crushed further under the green boots. This is why he would use his transport Jutsu; he couldn’t stand things being…crushed. But he was too lazy and down to perform any sort of jutsu at this moment. Hands in pocket, Kakashi ignored the slight breeze that ran through his hair, pushing him faster towards the small home. However, his attention was caught by an uneasy Chakra, expelling from behind a nearby tree.

Looking up, he found the opposing ninja staring at his approaching body, his own leaning against the giant wood. Iruka began to step forward, blocking Kakashi’s path. The copy-ninja continued to walk on, only stopping a yard away, and looking at the brown haired man with a gaze of emptiness. After a few moments of silence and complete staring, Iruka silently cleared his throat.

“Kakashi-“ he began. There was no response to this and a cold wind brushed past them, chilling the two’s bodies. “Kakashi- I…”

“Happy bir-“ began Kakashi.

“NO!” yelled Iruka. “Don’t say it!” Kakashi, with confusion written into his frown, looked at the man. Iruka disregarded this and continued to talk to him, burning eyes swelling with tears and throat dry and scratchy while trying hard to get his point across. “Kakashi! I can’t handle this anymore! I just can’t stand being with you!”

“You can’t stand me?” asked Kakashi as if it was all a joke. Crossing his arms infront of his torso, he leaned at a slanted angel, tilting his head and smirking.

“No!” snapped Iruka without hesitation in his voice. “I can’t love you if you don’t love me back!”

“Iruka,” hissed Kakashi, still showing nothing but an awkward smile. “I do lo-“

“No you don’t!” Iruka cut him off. “You don’t love me like I love you! You could never love me enough! Because you don’t love me like-“

“I don’t need this!” hissed Kakashi, starting to turn his back so he could walk away. However Iruka grabbed his arm, keeping him in place.

Crying his words, he screamed, “You don’t love me like you love Obito!”

There was silence, nothing but the small sounds of breath. Kakashi’s pulse increased and his body over heated even though his heart became cold. “Who told you about-“

“I know all about him! I know everything from your childhood romance to the point where you two made a promise to be married! And when he died-“

“SHUTUP!”

“AND WHEN HE DIED, HE TOLD YOU HE LOVED YOU!” sobbed Iruka loudly as his grip was ripped from Kakashi’s arm. Kakashi turned back and glared at the younger man with fierce eyes. “And you told him-“

“That’s enough!”

“You told him that you would never-“

“I said shut up!”

“You said you’d never love anybody else!”

“Will you Shut up!?” Kakashi swung his arm, palm catching Iruka in the cheek and pushing his face to the right. Stumbling backwards, Iruka was shocked by the sudden pain. Looking up at Kakashi, his face turned a deep red where their skin had made contact.

Tears ran down the man’s face as he stared back at Kakashi. Then, in a quick flash, Iruka slapped his own palm into Kakashi’s face. His neck snapped to the left and his eyes went wide in shock. Slowly turning his head back into place, he found his eyes locked with Iruka’s tear filled ones.

“Y-you don’t have to forget about him, Kakashi.” Iruka cried, looking deep into Kakashi’s eyes. “You don’t have to stop loving him. Because he is right here.” Pressing his hands lightly against Kakashi’s eye and heart, Iruka leaned in closer towards Kakashi’s face. Another cool wind blew past them, brushing gently against their facial flesh and drying the exiting tears. “But you can’t let him take you over. He is gone, Kakashi and if he were here, he would want you to be happy and to love again.” Pressing his forehead to Kakashi’s, he could feel the beat as the sobs became deep and heavy.

Hugging Kakashi tightly, Iruka began to cry with the elder Jounin, refusing to let him go. “It’s going to be okay Kakashi. It’s all going to be okay.” Kakashi continued to cry as Iruka soothed him by rubbing his back gently with this kind hands. Then, as the two cried, holding each other in tight embrace, a single snowflake fell. 1

---

Iruka woke up the next morning with golden sun light stroking against his eye lids. Opening them, he turned to his right, seeing a new man sleeping next to him. With an innocent expression, Kakashi slept next to the sensei, still fully clothed in the clothes he had just worn the day before.

Iruka smiled and touched his hand against Kakashi’s cheek.

Kakashi cried into Iruka’s shoulder, body shaking with emotional pain from the memories of Uchiha Obito. All Iruka could do was hold him closely and promise to him that everything was okay.

-memory de Kakashi-

“Kaka-shi…” moaned Obito’s weak voice. His entire right side was buried under over a ton of rocks and mud. Watching his partners Rin and Kakashi, he smiled weakly at them. “Kakashi, I want you to have my Sharingan.”

“Nani?” asked Kakashi in sadness. “No- Obito…I can’t.”

“Please, Kakashi.” Sighed Obito, feeling his life slip away from his grasp. “Kakashi, take my Sharingan and I will always be there, even when you move on.”

“I will never move on!” cried Kakashi loudly, grabbing onto Obito’s left arm. “I will never love anybody but you!”

Obito wanted to tell him to find somebody else and not to waste his life thinking of him. However, Shinigami waited by his side impatiently and stole him away.

-end memory-

Kakashi opened his eyes and looked at the brown hair waving in the wind. Obito wanted him to be happy and love another, and Kakashi would never forget, always reminded by the Sharingan in his left eye.

“It’s okay now.” Kakashi whispered to himself, smiling wider than he had in years. “It’s all right now. I can love again without leaving you behind Obito. I am free.”

“That’s right Kakashi,” smiled Iruka, smiling sweetly at his love. “You are free to do as you choose.” Then, getting up, Iruka pulled the blanket over Kakashi, kissed his cheek, and left to go teach his students.

---

It was dark, just like it always was after a Friday night. All grades had been turned in to the principal and Iruka was free for spring break. He wanted to go somewhere, to get out of Konoha and get away from it all, even if just for a night.

Heading back to his house at a faster pace than usual, he searched for his keys in his pockets and thoughts ran through his mind rapidly. Is Kakashi still here? Did he leave Iruka or decide to stay with him? And did he change at all? Opening the door, he was upset to find it was dark and empty inside.

Sighing, Iruka spoke out-loud to himself. “So you’re gone, I see.”

“Who says?” came a lively and happy voice. Iruka turned quickly to find Kakashi standing behind him in the doorway, holding a teddy bear in his arms. Smiling at Iruka, he stepped forward. “Happy Birthday. Sorry I’m late.”

Iruka smiled and laughed a little, happy at the sight of his precious Kakashi. Stepping forward and closer to the copy ninja, he felt something new, something warm and light. And he was sure Kakashi felt the same way. “What’s new?”

Kakashi smiled even wider and learned into Iruka’s face, kissing his lips with passion and kindness. “Everything.”

Their evening was spent on a warm night, walking next to the beach that was located in the village hidden in the clouds. Walking hand in hand, the mood was warm and light, a perfection greater than anything felt before. Stopping infront of a small palm tree, Kakashi held Iruka back.

Leaning down, the Jounin smiled and began to speak softly. “Iruka. I just want you to know, that i am sorry about everything.”

“Oh Kakashi, don-“

“No,” whispered Kakashi. “It took me forever, but I finally understand. I am in love with you, much more than anybody else that I have ever or will ever meet. Iruka, I love you.” With that, their lips embraced in a quick and passionate kiss.

“Kakashi, I love you too,” smiled Iruka.

Owari!
 
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