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Ayumi

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I have a problem with myself.

To be blunt; I hate myself.

I just have many issues with myself. For one, I can't break my habit of saying sorry. I just say it all the time and I bothers me so much! Another problem is I worry alot ._. Like right now; I'm worring that my friend will be annoyed that I'm posting another problem i have with myself. I'm afraid even people on KHI will think that v.v; I just wanna know if anyone has advice.

I worry i bother people with every problem I have; Like now I have a huge issue with my brother, but I won't get into detail unless advice is welcome.

But with my worrying I feel as if my friends will hate me. I recently seen my biggiest annoynce of worrying when I kinda got mad and thought that My boyfriend was gonna break up with me because I worry where he is.

I told My boyfriend that I hate myself and I know he doesn't like that. I just have so much to hate, I only have one talent to be honest and I feel that I'm not good at that.

I'm sorry if this annoys anyone but I'd love some advice on how to relax more and take life easy.

Thanks.
 

kairigirl

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Alright. *cracks knuckles* This is EXACTLY (practically even the details sound right) how I felt once. Not sure when, just remember feeling this way.

To be blunt; I hate myself.

o-o Easiest reply: If you can't like yourself, you can't like someone else. And if you can't like someone else, you're going to be a very lonely person. This is the whole bottom line of my post: there is no reason to hate yourself, you're just going to keep thinking this and soon, it's going to make others hate you because you're not fun to be around. You've got to have confidence. We'll get more into this later, think of this as the intro. x-x

I just have many issues with myself. For one, I can't break my habit of saying sorry. I just say it all the time and I bothers me so much!

Are you saying sorry just because it slips out, kind of like how one automatically says "I'm good" to the question "How are you?" or because you're actually apologetic? It's alright to be apologetic, it means you're worried about their feelings and don't want them to be hurt. It's not alright when it's automatic though and you feel absolutely no remorse. The best thing I can think of to stop is try thinking of something else to say so you end up replacing it or just biting your tongue when you know it's about to slip out. But if you're honestly apologetic about it, don't worry about saying it. I do it all the time, I'm constantly apologizing.

Another problem is I worry alot ._. Like right now; I'm worring that my friend will be annoyed that I'm posting another problem i have with myself. I'm afraid even people on KHI will think that v.v; I just wanna know if anyone has advice.

This is also okay. Well, kind of. Worry is okay when you're worried about the feelings and the mental, physical, and emotional health of another human being. It's alright to worry about their safety and how they're doing in school because you want them to 1) stay safe because you don't want to lose them or have something happen to them and 2) get good grades in school to succeed in what they want to do.

In this case though, it sounds more like you're worried about what people think. And that's not something you should really worry about no matter how old you are. It matters more what you think of yourself than what other people think of you. I personally struggled with this very recently and I told one of my close friends what I was feeling and he gave a little bit of advice but was overall there as a support, but one of the things he said stuck: "You're not quite the same person if you're all depressed." And that hit, because I'd made a promise to him that I'd never ever change for the worse. So it became my goal to someday, hopefully very soon, to go back to being me again, and a little later after I'd been able to figure things out and my emotions and stuff, I asked him I was me again, and he agreed.

I'd learned to stop worrying about what people think when they see me. I told myself it doesn't matter. It does not concern them whether or not I am having a bad day. It does not concern me what they think. The only people that I'd care what they thought about me, I'm absolutely positive that they wouldn't think I was ugly or stupid or other negative and derogatory things because they're my best friends. That's what you need to do. Right now you're in this mindset that you must please the world. No you don't! Not at all, all you have to do is please yourself. The people that matter? They love you and they won't hurt you. They should be helping you through this. Your boyfriend sounds like he wants you to become You again. Try and aim for that. In order to become You again, you've got to get out of the mindset that people. It does not matter if we are annoyed. You are a strong person and you are able to bear whatever comes at you. They can not hurt you. And your friends? They are going to be worried about You and so try to help. Not annoyed. If it helps, get into an "I don't care" mindset. If you do something silly, like accidently say something stupid or trip up the stairs, smile and laugh at off and think to yourself "I don't care what you think! It was a complete accident and I'm not going to let it ruin my day."

I worry i bother people with every problem I have; Like now I have a huge issue with my brother, but I won't get into detail unless advice is welcome.

With an issue with your brother, talk to your family. Talk to him. I dont know what the issue is, but my best advice is to talk to someone you can trust that knows him and will be able to thoroughly help you.

As for bothering people with problems, that's what your friends are there for. That's what this section is here for. They're not your friends if they aren't willing to help you out with a problem. They want to help you out because, like I said earlier, they care for you. We're here to help because it's what we do.

But with my worrying I feel as if my friends will hate me. I recently seen my biggiest annoynce of worrying when I kinda got mad and thought that My boyfriend was gonna break up with me because I worry where he is.

Again, worring too much. o-o Have you given your friends reason to hate you? I can understand if you destroyed their reputation or betrayed them or just truly and cruely hurt them in the most possible way, but other than that, what would be the reason? They're your friends. Why would they hate you? And your boyfriend wouldn't break up with you over that. Maybe if you got stalkerish or clingy, because everyone need's a little time with their guy friends or gal friends, but you're just worried about his safety or something, I assume.

I told My boyfriend that I hate myself and I know he doesn't like that. I just have so much to hate, I only have one talent to be honest and I feel that I'm not good at that.

See? This is showing that someone cares for you. He wants you to become better. Try to, if just for him. As for only one talent, bah. Use that talent. Work with it, become good at it. And as you grow older you'll discover more talents. You can't let stuff like that get you down.

I'm sorry if this annoys anyone but I'd love some advice on how to relax more and take life easy.

My best and first advice is to just calm down, take a deep breath, and learn to like yourself. Make a list. Force yourself to thumb through everything and force yourself to look at past events positively. Force yourself to think positively. Compare the good to bad. Ever hear the old "To every cloud there's a silver lining"? That's true. It is. Look for that silver lining. Find the good, and tell yourself that. Tell yourself over and over what you're good at. "I'm ____" or I can _____" Fill in the blanks, look at yourself positively, use a mirror if it helps.

People love you, you've shown that, and you know it. Let them, and let them help you. Don't let others get in the way; they don't matter. You can't let them matter.

*dies* This is soooo long...can't believe it took me half an hour. @-@ I'm sorry. XD I hope it helps though.
 

Ayumi

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Alright. *cracks knuckles* This is EXACTLY (practically even the details sound right) how I felt once. Not sure when, just remember feeling this way.



o-o Easiest reply: If you can't like yourself, you can't like someone else. And if you can't like someone else, you're going to be a very lonely person. This is the whole bottom line of my post: there is no reason to hate yourself, you're just going to keep thinking this and soon, it's going to make others hate you because you're not fun to be around. You've got to have confidence. We'll get more into this later, think of this as the intro. x-x



Are you saying sorry just because it slips out, kind of like how one automatically says "I'm good" to the question "How are you?" or because you're actually apologetic? It's alright to be apologetic, it means you're worried about their feelings and don't want them to be hurt. It's not alright when it's automatic though and you feel absolutely no remorse. The best thing I can think of to stop is try thinking of something else to say so you end up replacing it or just biting your tongue when you know it's about to slip out. But if you're honestly apologetic about it, don't worry about saying it. I do it all the time, I'm constantly apologizing.



This is also okay. Well, kind of. Worry is okay when you're worried about the feelings and the mental, physical, and emotional health of another human being. It's alright to worry about their safety and how they're doing in school because you want them to 1) stay safe because you don't want to lose them or have something happen to them and 2) get good grades in school to succeed in what they want to do.

In this case though, it sounds more like you're worried about what people think. And that's not something you should really worry about no matter how old you are. It matters more what you think of yourself than what other people think of you. I personally struggled with this very recently and I told one of my close friends what I was feeling and he gave a little bit of advice but was overall there as a support, but one of the things he said stuck: "You're not quite the same person if you're all depressed." And that hit, because I'd made a promise to him that I'd never ever change for the worse. So it became my goal to someday, hopefully very soon, to go back to being me again, and a little later after I'd been able to figure things out and my emotions and stuff, I asked him I was me again, and he agreed.

I'd learned to stop worrying about what people think when they see me. I told myself it doesn't matter. It does not concern them whether or not I am having a bad day. It does not concern me what they think. The only people that I'd care what they thought about me, I'm absolutely positive that they wouldn't think I was ugly or stupid or other negative and derogatory things because they're my best friends. That's what you need to do. Right now you're in this mindset that you must please the world. No you don't! Not at all, all you have to do is please yourself. The people that matter? They love you and they won't hurt you. They should be helping you through this. Your boyfriend sounds like he wants you to become You again. Try and aim for that. In order to become You again, you've got to get out of the mindset that people. It does not matter if we are annoyed. You are a strong person and you are able to bear whatever comes at you. They can not hurt you. And your friends? They are going to be worried about You and so try to help. Not annoyed. If it helps, get into an "I don't care" mindset. If you do something silly, like accidently say something stupid or trip up the stairs, smile and laugh at off and think to yourself "I don't care what you think! It was a complete accident and I'm not going to let it ruin my day."



With an issue with your brother, talk to your family. Talk to him. I dont know what the issue is, but my best advice is to talk to someone you can trust that knows him and will be able to thoroughly help you.

As for bothering people with problems, that's what your friends are there for. That's what this section is here for. They're not your friends if they aren't willing to help you out with a problem. They want to help you out because, like I said earlier, they care for you. We're here to help because it's what we do.



Again, worring too much. o-o Have you given your friends reason to hate you? I can understand if you destroyed their reputation or betrayed them or just truly and cruely hurt them in the most possible way, but other than that, what would be the reason? They're your friends. Why would they hate you? And your boyfriend wouldn't break up with you over that. Maybe if you got stalkerish or clingy, because everyone need's a little time with their guy friends or gal friends, but you're just worried about his safety or something, I assume.



See? This is showing that someone cares for you. He wants you to become better. Try to, if just for him. As for only one talent, bah. Use that talent. Work with it, become good at it. And as you grow older you'll discover more talents. You can't let stuff like that get you down.



My best and first advice is to just calm down, take a deep breath, and learn to like yourself. Make a list. Force yourself to thumb through everything and force yourself to look at past events positively. Force yourself to think positively. Compare the good to bad. Ever hear the old "To every cloud there's a silver lining"? That's true. It is. Look for that silver lining. Find the good, and tell yourself that. Tell yourself over and over what you're good at. "I'm ____" or I can _____" Fill in the blanks, look at yourself positively, use a mirror if it helps.

People love you, you've shown that, and you know it. Let them, and let them help you. Don't let others get in the way; they don't matter. You can't let them matter.

*dies* This is soooo long...can't believe it took me half an hour. @-@ I'm sorry. XD I hope it helps though.


Wow o.o; Thanks for the advice! ^.^ Your right though; I used to like how I was, only recently things have changed and I plan on changing that by changing how I feel about myself. I know my friends will support me if I ask right?
 

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Believe it or not alot of people go through what your feeling. Hell i used to/ and in some ways are still going through it. It hurts your soul i know, and you seem to begin to push people away. Trust me i was just like you, being in a constant state of sorrow, feeling as if i was the lowest person in the world, apologizing to people for me was because i didn't want other people to have sorry, because i felt as though everything that happens was my fault.

It took me alittle while to get out of that mode, and your boyfriend seems like the perfect guy to help you make that step...thats what helped me. Having someone that makes you feel amazing, that makes you feel like you can do this, to make you feel like you have nothing to be sorry for. Such an influence can help more than you know, now i'm not saying that with this guy you'll be cured instantly but through that connection it will come....

Of course if you chose not to get help from the one person closet to you, then you could go in the other direction...by becoming consumed w/ hate & rage, no pride or self-respect, constantly in a state of sorrow w/ the slightest off comment making you angry...i know what that feels like and trust me you don't want to go there...

It's gonna all be alright, you just have to wanna change and you must take the steps to change..

~the Fallen Angel~
 

Savior of Dawn

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I'll be honest for once and tell the truth that worked for me:

I felt similarly once, I even once thought I must've done something horrible in a past life or something bizarre like that, and that's why the human race seemingly hated me. So, I eventually sat myself down, thought about it, and just realized I was being treated like crap. So, I said "(censored!) the human race!"

..But I suppose you don't want to turn your shame into anger, eh?

All you need is a self-esteem boost. Really, all you need is something to make you happy, a hobby, project, a trip, or maybe even just reading a book. It depends on the person. : /
 

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i used to feel that same way for the longest time.but i met one of my best friends cousins and we started hanging out.then we started goin out.we've been going out for abotu 2 months now.and i gotta say that she saved me from what i dont want to think about.whenever u feel sad or hate urself or w/e, just think of sumthing that makes you happy.it'll help.but u hav a bf so just spend time with him.it might make u feel better.maybe you should just talk to him about this stuff if u havnt already.
hope this helps, even though everyone elses advice is better lol
 

kairigirl

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Wow o.o; Thanks for the advice! ^.^ Your right though; I used to like how I was, only recently things have changed and I plan on changing that by changing how I feel about myself. I know my friends will support me if I ask right?

You're welcome, sorry for taking so long to reply. And yes, your friends should support you. They're your friends, it wouldn't make sense for them to not support you. And yes, the easiest way to go back to how you were is to change how you feel about yourself. Like I've said a ton of times before, you can't like someone else until you like yourself. And people find it hard to get along with someone that doesn't like themselves, either. That's just life.
 

Light Aura

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I don't see anything wrong with worrying too much. I'm the same way with my mom. Normally she is late getting home. I always worry and call her up to make sure she is okay.

And if you make people mad it's not like you can't make up. And if someone does get mad at you, you have to try and resolve it. There was this freshman girl in my spanish class. I am a sophmore and I started to like her; as a friend and as something more. She even had the same interests as me, such as Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts. I told her that I liked her and eventually she got mad at me because she said that she didn't have time for a boyfriend and wanted me to find someone else. I continued to like her and she got mad. But she is a good person and hopefully she will forgive me so we can be friends again.
 
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