Fanfiction ► A Love Gone, but Never Forgotten

[NYC16]

Yeah I have seen it. It's so sad it makes me cry. I guess it is kind of. I have lots of ideas, so I am trying to figure how to tie them all in.

Ava opened a letter that her mother had written her. Inside there were tickets to come back to America. Ava's heart sang as she looked at a way to get back to her home, but remembered it wasnt' the life she had known. She didnt' know whether to laugh or be upset to see it. Her mother begged her to take it and come home, her mother worried sick about her. Little Luke was sleeping and she could hear the sound of his breathing. She knew it was no place for a baby to be, but she couldn't leave yet, there was something her heart was holding on here and she herself couldn't answer. Ava heard footsteps coming up the stairs and then a knock. She looked over to see Dwain standing there, he looked at her with loving eyes in which she chose not to see. He walked over to her and smiled, "Hello. I didn't get to see you today so I thought I'd come up.", he said smiling. "Oh, well that's very nice of you.", she returned the smile. Dwain noticed the letter in her hand. "So did Mother send cookies again?", he laughed. "No, ", she grinned. "She sent me two tickets to America.", she looked down at the envelope she held. "Oh, I see. Are you going back?", he asked as his heart started to sink. He knew for sure that she would find someone back home if she was to leave. "I'm not sure. Luke needs to know his family, but I don't know if I am ready to go back.It's my past there, all I knew as a girl to a teenager. It's all there. I don't know if I can face the person I was. I'm not Ava Sullivan anymore. She doesn't exist. And I am not sure if I would still belong.", she said shaking her head. "Of course you would, that's your family. They love you no matter the way you are or the way you were.", he said, he held her hand.

She looked at him, "YOu are too kind, you will make someone very happy one day.", she smiled at him, but in some ways knew his heart. She couldn't give in because of her past and because she didnt' feel she loved him. The way he looked at her gave her chills. "Yeah maybe one day.", Luke said looking down to the floor. They sat there in silence listening to the sound of Luke's breathing.

 

[NYC16]

Ava finally got the chance to call home and talk to her mother. "Honey are you going to come? Everything is paid for.", her mother begged her. "Mom I dont' know. I need to think about it. Maybe I can bring Luke over and come back. This is no place for him. I need to be here though.", Ava answered hearing her mother sigh. "I wish you would just come home. There is nothing there for you. ", her mother pleaded. "There's nothing there for me either mom.", she said feeling a pain in her chest as she said those words. "Ava I don't understand, why are you doing this?", "That's what Lucas would have wanted me to do. Continue my work until it is finished.", Ava tried to reason with her mother. "No Ava, he would want you out of that hell hole and back with your family, where you are safe.", her mother began to get aggitated. "Mom, I will bring Luke home, but I have to come back. It's not time for me to leave yet.", she tried to make sence to her mother and herself. "What is there for you?", Her mother asked. "My life. MY life is here. So many things have changed. I can't just go on and not look back.", "Why would you want to hold on to those memories of pain and hurt?", again her mother questioned. "MY suffering is what got me this far. I have made friends here, I've lost friends here. I have waited for the man I love here, and I have lost the man I love here. I had my son here. There is too much in me that this place holds. Yeah it's been hell, but I have grown so much, I wouldn't trade the experience. The only thing that I would change was Lucas leaving me. I should have told him about Luke, when I had the chance. I should have wrote him and let him know that he was going to have a son., but instead I held back. Now he'll never know. That's my only regret." The officer nodded to her letting her know it was time to go. "Mom I have to go but I promise I will come home with my boy. I love you.", "I love you too Ava, so so much."

Ava began packing her son's things as she thought about the world around her. She had let her boss know what she was doing and made an agreement to come back. Her heart broke as she thought that she would be leaving her son, but knew that it was for him, she wanted him to have the all american dream. She wanted him to live in a place where he would be free from things here. This wasn't his past, it was hers. She walked over to the crib and picked up her son. He looked at her and smiled, his eyes filled with joy at seeing his mother. She herself giggled. Frannie came up the stairs to help her with the bags. She carried them downstairs for Ava as she followed. When they got out of the building, Dwain was waiting by the truck. "Bye Dwain, thank you for all you have been doing for me.", "Are you coming back?", he asked with eyes of sadness. "I will. I need to know he will be safe. I will come back though.", "I don't want you to get hurt Ava, maybe you should stay there, with your family. That's where you are happy.", Dwain said with a soft voice. "Dwain, I will come back, I promise." Ava loaded LUke into the truck and turned to say goodbye to Frannie and told her she would return.

 

[NYC16]

Ava had just arrived to the airport in Minnesota. Her heart lept at as she saw her family standing there with a sign. Ava smiled as she walked out of the barrier carrying little Luke. Her mother began to cry as she walked closer to her daughter. She grabbed her and squeezed her, relief had swept all over her as she looked at her daughter and grandson. "Aren't you handsome?", she held Luke's hand. He smiled at her not caring who she was. "How are you dear?", her mother looked at her with loving eyes. "I'm fine Mom.", Ava looked around to see her father and brother standing there. "Daddy it's so good to see you.", she said walking over to him. "Hi honey. You look good. So this is little Lukey?", her father's face lit with a huge grin. Luke giggled and gurgled at his grandfather. Her brother walked over taller than ever. "Hey sis.", he bent down to hug his sister. "Danny you've grown three feet.", Ava laughed. It felt good to be home with her loved ones.

Ava walked into the kitchen where her mother was making dinner. Luke was in the living room playing with his grandfather. "Lucas' parents are coming to see you and Luke.", her mother said turning to see her daughter. "Why right now?", Ava asked looking at her mother wondering why she did that so soon. "Honey they need to see you both, to get closure.", "Mom did you ever think that maybe I'm not ready to see them. Looking at them will bring too many memories that I"m not ready to deal with come back." Ava began to feel frustrated. "They are coming and that's that.", her mother said stirring the pot of stew. Ava turned around and headed to the living room.

 

[**Oathkeeper**]

Wow that was really good! I hope that Lucas's parents don't make Ava too uncomfortable! BTW thank you so much for the review on my fanfic!

 

[dark invader]

I love to read your story, and quite frankly, it's one of the only things that keeps me coming on this site. Your writing is like a breath of fresh air, you use just enough detail to let the reader know what is going on, but not excessive amounts. Your characters are so life like, almost as if this were actually happening and not just a fictional story. Personally, I think that this story could have enough potential to be made into a short novel, but I'm sure you've been told that before. I look forward to updates and later chapters!

 

[NYC16]

Oathkeeper: I hope that your fiction does work out for you. Just remember some may critize you, but that's just something you have to work with. You'll get it. Keep working hard.

Dark Invader: I am honored to have been one of the reasons you stay on. Thank you for your compliment, it's nice to know there are people accuatlly keeping up with your story. I appreciate your imput and hope to see you around on the forums.

 

[NYC16]

Ava waited in the kitchen setting the table. Inside she felt she was fighting a flock of butterflies. She knew they would be coming soon and she was scared to death. She hadn't seen them for quite a while and things would be awkward and difficult to deal with. Would they still consider her a daughter now? She didn't want them to judge her or their son because of their choices. She was sure that they would accept Luke, but she wasn't sure they would love her as well. Ava sat there at the table tapping the table with her fingers. She could hear her brother laughing with some friends he invited over. Two of them had grown up with Danny while one other was a new face to her. She was trying to figure out the right words to say when they walked in. Even as she said them to herself she still doubted their sincerity.

Ava heard a knock on the door and the sound of her mother's heels across the floor. Her heart was pounding, she took a deep breath and went to the stove to check dinner. She heard their voices and knew they would be in the kitchen. Luke was sitting in a high chair in the kitchen with her, he looked at her with those big blue eyes and smiled. She grinned, she was grateful that he was a happy baby. In a few seconds her mother came in and ushered her into the living room. Ava picked up Luke and headed into the room. There they were sitting there proper on her couch. Lucas' mother immediately got off the couch to walk over to them. "Hi darling. I'm so happy you're safe.", she smiled. "So this is our grandson. He's the spitting image of LUcas. Those blue eyes.......", she said her voice trailing off. Soon her husband had joined them and marveled at Luke. Things had seemed to be going smoothly. Ava sighed to herself somewhat relieved, still not sure of what would happen next.

Her mother invited them all into the kitchen for dinner. They each took their spot at the long oak table while Luke waited by his mother's chair. "It's so nice to have everyone together like this again.", Ava's mother said. "Yes it is refreshing to see you all.", Lucas' mother replied. They were chit chatting here and there making little conversation. "So Ava, what are your plans now that you are back in the states?", Lucas' father asked. She could feel the pressure coming on again, "I'm accuatlly not staying. I will be returning over seas soon. I brought Luke here for his safety." She could feel their eyes on her and could hear the sound of her family's forks hitting the plates. It was an awkward moment that she didn't want to face. "Why dear would you want to return to a God awful place as that?", Lucas' mother asked full eyes resting on Ava. "Well I believe I am still needed there. They need all the help they can get. Our boys are still being injured and nurses are scarse lately.", she tried to answer her question with as much integrity as possible. "Hmm.", was all she said to Ava in return. For the rest of the dinner she felt as if she was being summed up. She was so relieved when dinner was done. The whole family walked them out to the front door, they said their goodbyes and hoped to spend time with Luke. Ava simply smiled while inside she was screaming.

 

[NYC16]

Ava washed Luke in the bathtub. He splashed and squealed as he watched the bubbles fly. Ava grinned looking at her little boy growing bigger everyday. She could hear her mother yelling at her brother for leaving his shoes in the kitchen. "It's nice to be back.", she laughed to herself thinking of all the things her parents had yelled at her about. Things were definitely different now compared to what they had been long ago. She wished that things would still be as they once were, but Lucas was dead and the life she knew was dead with him.

Lucas' family came by all the time and she got tired of seeing them, she knew the reasons they were there. To see Luke, and to critize her for the things she had done. The grandmothers enjoyed spoiling their grandson and took him everywhere. Soon she would have to leave her family and son. She would look at the calendar and sigh now and then thinking of all the things that she would have to give up again. The hardest thing for her though would be to leave her son, he was her world but knew it was better for him to grow up the way she did.

 

[NYC16]

It was the day before Ava would have to leave again. They were all sitting down for dinner as a family. The conversation had been dead for a while and the only sound was their forks tapping their plates. She wanted them to enjoy their last meal together for a while. A month had gone by since she had been home and it didn't seem to be back to normal. They had few conversations and it was usually the baby that made the effort to speak. Her brother was the one that usually started a conversation. He would go on about his day and all that had happened at school. He was a part of the football team and base ball team. He told Ava that basketball just wasn't his thing. "So Mom are you coming tomorrow night?", he asked trying to solve the silence. "I don't know, the girls are coming over for our book reading. I don't think I will be able to make it.", she said not listening to her bizarre way of answering. "Uh son I will be working late so I may not be able to drop in and watch you either.", his father said looking up over his glasses. Danny sat there looking bummed out. "Hey my plane doesn't leave until 8 tomorrow night so I can stay and watch you.", Ava said looking at her brother. "Awesome. you can bring Luke with you. He'll thinks it's cool to see his uncle in action.", he laughed. "Sure I will bring Luke too.", she laughed.

 

[NYC16]

The next day she packed as she watched Luke play with his toys. Her mother had left to get groceries, her dad went to work with his tie and brief case. She looked at Luke and smiled. Her heart was breaking to leave him but knew she couldn't bring him back with her. Her parents would take care of him and she wouldn't leave him forever. When she came back she would take him and find a home of her own. But for now this is where he needed to be. She looked at the clock and tried to finish all her packing. Soon it was time to leave so she could go to Danny's baseball game. Ava dressed Luke in a little baseball outfit her mother had bought for him, she put his little hat on his head and tied his shoes. She smiled at his little pudgy cheeks and the gurgling sounds he made at her. She carried him downstairs and packed his bottles and blanket. The baseball field wasn't far from the house so Ava decided to walk.

She went out of the house and closed the door, she walked down the many stairs and turned to look at the house. She sighed as she turned around to walk down the sidewalk. She could already hear the people arriving and yelling to their kids. She walked up to the fence and saw Danny and his friends laughing. Ava walked up to the stands and looked for a seat, when she sat down she waved at Danny, who smiled at seeing her.

 

[NYC16]

The game was over and her brother was trilled that his team won their third game of the season. He ran up to Ava in the stands and hugged her. "We accutately won!", he said excitedly. Ava smiled, "You were awesome." Little Luke smiled at everyone happy to be out. "It's getting late, I have to be going soon.", Ava said to Danny. "You have to celebrate with us, were going to go to the burger joint. Allen's mom is paying.", he said with a smile. "I would love to but I need to get to the airport. Sorry bud.", Ava touched his shoulder. "I am very proud of you. Go and have fun.", she said looking at him. "Alright I will be home soon to say goodbye.", Danny said with a grin. With that he hopped off the seat and out to the field to meet his friends.

Ava walked down the street with Luke and went to the house. The lights were still out, "I guess no one is home yet.", she said looking at the quiet house. She opened the door and walked up to her room. A hour passed by and her father arrived home. "Ava are you here?", he yelled up the stairs. "Yeah dad I am up here." Her dad came up the stairs. "Do you need help with your bags?", he said with a smile. "Yeah I think I do.", she laughed. Luke was sleeping now and looked so gentle. "We should be quiet so not to wake him.", her dad picked up a couple of bags and headed down the stairs. "Thanks dad for bringing these down.", she said looking at the mountain of stuff. "Of course you're my little girl.", she could see a tear in her dad's eye. He hugged her, it had been so long since she had been embraced with love. "I love you too.", she said.

 

[**Oathkeeper**]

This is so good! I was close to tears when Ava and her father said goodbye! Keep up the excellent work!

 

[NYC16]

thanks!! What can I say I'm good. Haha. Joking. I try. hehe
Sorry it's so short tonight, I promise I will post more later.


Ava had said goodbye to her parents, her brother, and the hardest of all Luke. She was on the plane now and her family were standing outside waving. Tears stung in her eyes, she hadn't cried in a long time and it hurt just as her past memories did. The plane finally lifted off to the gray sky. She closed her eyes trying to think about something other than the sadness she felt in her heart. Her parents questioned her more as she began to board the plane. "Why do you have to go?", her brother had asked her his eyes full of tears. "I need to.", was all she could say. She thought about her perfect little boy and how she was going to miss out on alot.

 

[dark invader]

They just keep getting better and better! I really can't wait for the next chapter, and I'm sure there are lots of other people that can't wait either!

 

[NYC16]

Ava was off the plane and waiting at the docks that would send her over to Germany. She was happy she was going to see old faces but scared at the same time to think about what may have happened while she was gone. She saw an old man sitting by himself looking rather sad. Ava didn't want to bother him but something told her to go and talk to him. Ava walked over holding her bag, "Hello sir.", she said not sure if he would answer her or just ignore her. "Hello.", the old man looked up at her with sad eyes. "My name is Ava Sullivan.", she said trying to start a conversation. "I'm Herald Johnson.", he said not looking up at her. "Well it's nice to meet you.", Ava said with a smile. The old man looked up at her and kept her in his gaze. "You remind me of my daughter long ago.", he said with a pale face. Ava was kind of shook up by the way he said that and the look on his face. "she was my angel.", he said with a tear falling down his face. Ava sat beside him and listened as he told her his story of his daughter and the life he had left behind. He could never forgive himself. Ava and he had a conversation that lasted even on the boat bound of the shores of Germany.

 

[NYC16]

When they reached Germany she and the old man said goodbye and hoped to meet each other again in life wherever they may be. Ava was taking in what she remember and looked up seeing a familiar face. There stood Dwain. It had been months since she had seen him and was suprised at how handsome he was. It looked as if he hadn't shaved in a week but she couldn't keep herself from blushing. He smiled at her as he walked up to her, "Well if it isn't Miss Sullivan." He took her hand and held it for a moment. "Hello Dwain. It's so good to see you again.", she said with a smile. She noticed he was still holding her hand. "So is it just you?", she said releasing her hand from his. "Yes Frannie is still waiting for you at the hospital." Dwain looked at her feeling nothing but the rush of his love for her. He could see she had pulled away from him. "Are you ready?", he asked. "Yes.", she said, he took her bags from her hand and started to walk towards a truck. "You didn't have to do that you know.", she said walking behind him. "Be quiet.", he laughed loading her bag into the truck.

 

[NYC16]

It felt good to be around familiar faces, Frannie was still working with them and some of the other nurses she had met had become close friends. Sometimes Ava could feel Dwain looking at her and she pretended not to notice. Everyday Frannie would tell her how much Dwain adored her but she would always say the same thing, "Dwain is a good friend to me. There's nothing more there for me. I'm not ready to love again.", She knew that Frannie didn't always believe her, but the truth was she was afraid to love again. Ava called home now and then to hear her happy baby giggle. Other times she would write to her mother and ask how everything was going. She had a picture of Luke sitting in the grass looking at a butterfly. She would sometimes sit there looking at it and start smiling. Beside it was a picture of Lucas. She missed him terribly and wanted him to be in her life again. She knew it was God's plan and that no matter what it couldn't have been changed.

She saw more men come in with similar stories, she would listen and laugh with them and sometimes even cry with them, she would hold their hand and just listen to what that person had to say. She found that it was important to talk to them and for them to know that someone did care about them and what they were doing to protect their country. One night she was walking outside to get some air, she had been crying with one of the men and her face was wet with tears. She walked over to an old stone wall that only went to her hip, the moon was out and she looked at it feeling sad inside. Dwain watched from a distance as his heart broke seeing her upset and wishing she was his.

 

[NYC16]

Dwain waited for a moment, he didn't want to disturb her as she cried to herself. He wanted to reach out to her and comfort her. He yearned to wipe the tears from her face and hold her. He started to walk out of the shadows towards her. Ava turned to look at him. "Are you alright?", he asked knowing she wasn't. "Yes I am fine.", she said wiping the tears from her face. Dwain walked up to her and lifted her chin up to him. He looked down at her fierce green eyes looking up at him. In that moment he was capitivated by her beauty. The moonlight was shining on her dark brown hair and made a glow on her skin. Ava just looked up at him, she had no feelings or expression on her face. She felt his hand wipe the tears off her cheek. He just stared into her eyes, he didn't want to lose this moment. For just a second she was his, he felt her skin and wanted to help her pain. He wanted to kiss her, he longed to kiss her. "It's getting cold, I think I am going to go in. Goodnight Dwain.", Ava said moving from his touch and turned and walked into the building. He stood there in the moonlight only holding a memory now.

 

[NYC16]

A week passed since that moment, Dwain kicked himself for coming out and bothering her. He didn't have the guts to come up and talk to Ava. He would see her and turn away, he felt so stupid and didn't have the nerve to look her in the eye. He tried to keep distance between them afraid she would run away. Dwain saw her now and died to talk to her but kept his words inside. She didn't see him, and he sighed. He watched as she laughed with one of the patients. That was me once....I was him...she held my hand, she laughed with me...she cried for me.... He couldn't keep watching her while his heart was breaking. He got up and left.

At dinner that night Ava sat with Frannie and laughed. It felt so good to think about the funny things in life instead of the sad and sometimes the important moments. Ava never told Frannie about that night outside with Dwain. Frannie would tell her what she already knew and would look into it a whole different way. Ava knew her heart and what her mind said. Every time she thought she would make a step to move on Lucas' face would appear. Ava knew Dwain would treat her like a queen, but that was why she wasn't ready to love him. Ava thought life was supposed to feel tough sometimes, it was the process of growing strong. Ava needed to feel that way before she could let anyone in.

 

[NYC16]

Frannie and Dwain sat at the table in the kitchen, they were talking back and forth about little things. Frannie looked at him, "So what's going on with you and Ava?" Dwain looked at her for a second. "There's nothing going on." She could see the look of sadness on his face. "Dwain it's not that you're not good enough for her, it's just she's not ready to love you." Dwain looked down at the worn table. "I'm willing to wait for her, I have been waiting for her.""How long are you going to wait. It could be a long time.", Frannie asked. "I'll wait to the end of the world. I love her Frannie, I'll wait as long as she wants me to." Dwain looked at her.

Ava was down stairs working with one of the new nurses, her name was Emma. She was a few years younger than Ava and was very pretty. She showed Emma around and how to take care of the patients. "Thank you for helping me. I would be so lost.", Emma said to Ava. "Oh hun it's no problem, I was the new girl before." Emma followed Ava up stairs to Ava's room. "You can come up here and talk sometimes if you'd like." Ava told her with a smile. "Thank you." Ava folded some of her things and began putting things away. Emma saw a picture in a frame, she looked closer it was a young man in a US Army uniform, and beside it was a picture of a little boy smiling in the grass. Ava noticed Emma looking at the pictures but didn't say anything. Emma looked up at Ava but thought it wasn't a good idea to pry into Ava's private life. "Are you ready to go down for dinner?", Ava asked with a smile. "Yes.", Emma said. "Okay well let's go downstairs then.", Ava started down the stairs, Emma followed but looked back at the pictures.

After dinner was over Ava left to wash the dishes and go take care of the patients again for the night. Emma sat at the table with Frannie and Dwain. Emma was quiet, she didn't know Dwain very much. Emma thought he was very handsome. Though she didn't say so she could feel her face turn red. "So Emma, how do you like it here? I know it's probably nothing like you imagined.", Dwain said looking at her. He was trying to make conversation with her because he could see she was uncomfortable. "Oh well it's fine here. But it is different than I expected."Emma's heart pounded, he was talking to her and she was accutally able to answer him withour stuttering. "Well I hope you grow to like it somewhat here. There are alot of nice folks that come through here.:", Dwain said with a smile. "Yes I hope so too.", she said smiling back.

Dwain left the table and went outside. Emma looked at Frannie, " Is Ava alright? She seems kind of far away in her mind?" "Oh yeah she is, she just has alot of memories that come to her." Emma hesitated but knew that Frannie was nice so she asked, "I saw two pictures in Ava's room. One of a man and little boy. Who are they?" Frannie paused for a moment. Then she looked at Emma,"Well the man is her childhood sweetheart. They were going to be married." Emma hung on those words, "What happened?" "He was killed in the line of duty."Frannie said with a sad face. "Who is the little boy?", Emma asked. "That is her son." "Is he okay, where is he?", Emma looked worried. "He's fine, he is back in the US with her parents." "Did her fiance spend time with her son?", Emma wondered. "No. He never knew about little Luke. Ava never got the chance to tell him." Frannie had a tear in her eye. Emma felt a sadness deep inside her. "That's awful." "Yes it is, so don't take it personal if Ava is kind of out there. She's just in love and reminices about the past."Frannie answered. Emma nodded her head.