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Help/Support ► a friendship worth ending?



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evil_kenshin

greatest of the ungratest
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ok for a fair while now (about 2 years) me and a girl named mia have been friends, we were pretty close friends too, yet ever since she got a boyfriend she ignores everyone else. i know that being that its her bf its understandable that she would be closer to him than everyone else, but to the degree she takes it is overboard

i mean she barely talks anymore, she's the type of person to use people then toss them away once they arn't of any use to her anymore (twice she's done it to my other friends, both times she's come to me blaming them said its them changing, yet cause she's my friend i just let her have her rant and pretend i agreed with what she said)

now i guess its my turn to be tossed aside, i've kept trying to salvage our friendship, yet she's in the "meh whatever" sort of mood about it, heck its up to me to even start a conversation with her, if she comes on msn she won't start one, or even in real life she won't start one unless i say something first, its like im not even there (last time we were talking she walked off without even saying she was going, with no explanation nor even a goodbye)

i've watched her change over time she's gone from the happy sort of girl that hugged you when you met, actually cared about her friends & all that to someone who only cares when she will get her next f**k (if this is against the TOS i'll edit it out) and blames everyone else for her own problems

should i bother to try again to salvage our friendship once more, or is it time to go our separate way's?
 

Djordjevic

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if i was in your sitiuation, i would probably just have to end it....by the way she's acting it seems that she's already taken the step to end the friendship anyway...you say uve tried to salvage the friendship and nothing....you could try giving her an ultimatum...i doubt that would work but i personally would just be like...thats it....if i'm not worth your time....your not worth mine
 

evil_kenshin

greatest of the ungratest
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thats true, im just afraid that it will just cause problems being that she's still friends with a few of my friends, the last thing i want is her to go whining to them, i mean there was a stage i was stupid enough to believe her lies and actually told my friends off for it, yet now i see who's really my friends

but yeah i've already tried such things and it fell on deaf ears basically, but i'm finding it hard to do
 

Djordjevic

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every now and again, u have to make decisions that u don't wanna make....u could always...just not tell her ur not her friend, just stop talkin to her....see what that does.....if she's really bothered then she'll ask u about it.....but at the end of the day, if your friends are your friends they'll take no notice of her and just let her talk.
 

stephaknee

Hakuna Matata
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I'd say wait it out. I've been in the girl's position before, and more than likely, her "meh whatever" moods will pass. Why don't you try and find out why she's doing this? I know when I feel super depressed I tend to ignore my friends purposely, so yea. I've lost a few friends because of acting somewhat like her, and it'd definitely be something she regrets.
 

Guile

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...she's the type of person to use people then toss them away once they arn't of any use to her anymore (twice she's done it to my other friends, both times she's come to me blaming them said its them changing, yet cause she's my friend i just let her have her rant and pretend i agreed with what she said)
Was she like this beforehand, or did this start occuring after she had gotten a boyfriend and this chain of events progressed?

Anyway, I'll have to agree with baka ushi on this. (I'm a guy and I've had times when I feel like this as well, though not to the extent of completely tossing aside friends or ignoring them.)Waiting it out for awhile can do some good, but finding out what is wrong is a toss up. In other words, it can either turn to good or bad, depending on how the person that you're trying to help perceives it.

While you "wait it out" as previously said, the suggestion that Djordjevic gave can be given a try. By not talking to her and acting as if you're not her friend you can figure some things out; whether or not she still cares. If she questions you later about how you've stopped talking to her and the like, it can be said that she still considers you a friend, but this still isn't the most trust-worthy.
 

Cicero

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I say end it. Well, don't end it, but don't go and try to make it better. You have done enough and as long as she has her bf she's not listening. I know a lot of people who are the same... A friend of mine got a bf and after two weeks she didn't even say hi to her best friend anymore. But they are still just people and when they break up they need friends. Not they it is certain that they will break up, but what I'm trying to say is that you don't have to enforce your friendship with her. Like bakaushi said just wait it out. Live your own live and keep your friendship. Eventually she will get back to you...or not, I don't know her well but if she doesn't get back on her own - for exapmle due a break up or just because she wants your friendship back - she isn't worth your friendship.
 

bladed asassin

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don't end it.. shes just probally unsure of things and doesn't know how to handle her bf and you or her other friends.. i mean if you had a gf and it hang out with her or your friends then who would you choose.. try lookin at it from both sides.. and if your that unsure just talk to her about it..
 

Djordjevic

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I agree with baka. You can't just end a friendship without knowing the friend's side of the story.

the thing is she's not givin him a chance to talk to her, so if she's not givin him the time then what can he do, its unfair for him to keep tryin when she just doesnt seem bothered at all.
 

bond of flames

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well, if you've already tried many times.

give it one last shot.and tell her that.
tell her you've been trying and that if she doesnt want to meet you hafl way or sumthing then you'll go join ur other friends that she tossed away
 

ozymandius

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I feel that you should sit down with her -even if you have to force her- and talk to her and see what's up. Handle it delicately, though, 'cause her new boyfriend might have done things to hurt her, like drugs, alcohol, sex, etc. She may just need someone who'll talk to her. So, if you talk to her, you may 1) Save your frienship and/or 2) save her life (whether it be her menta, physical, or emotional life). Just talk to her.

give it one last shot.and tell her that.
tell her you've been trying and that if she doesnt want to meet you hafl way or sumthing then you'll go join ur other friends that she tossed away

Agreed. If my advice doesn't work out, then this may be the only other option...
 
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