358/2 Days: Kairi's Story



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Jason1

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Hey, I’m always thinking about the events of the Kingdom Hearts storyline that are apart of the timeline, but weren’t played out. An example is what took place in Kairi’s life during the events of 358/2 Days. In this work, I wanted to explore the time when Kairi did remember Sora, before the events of Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memoires, her enrollment in school with her friends, Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie, more development of those characters, the possibility of introducing a new character, how Kairi initially responded to losing her memories of Sora, and her interaction with Xion. I thought about whether this idea has already been used in a thread before; if it has, please feel free to let me know, so I can give acknowledgement. Thank you for reading :)

Day 1

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Day 9: The Secret Place

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Day 10: Ice Cream

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Day 12: Unfamiliar Face

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Day 14 PREVIEW

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Jason1

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I like the concept fo this story. I always wondered how Kairi felt about forgetting Sora. Although it was a little odd to see the story written in presence tense, it still works. I'm looking forward to more.
Thanks so much for the response :) I'm happy you enjoyed reading it. It's funny, I thought about the same thing when I wrote it; I was conflicted with whether to write in present or past tense, haha. More days are in development, and will be posted soon. Thanks again :)
 

Jason1

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Day 14: Familiar Face

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Day 49 PREVIEW

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Jason1

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Day 26: Fading Memories


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Annoyance

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I may add this to the critique group's to do list but for now, I wanted to make a note that with dialogue and thought snippets you still do need to make a new line. I may do a small critique of the first day to show what I'm talking about. :eek: There are also multiple times where you can make a new paragraph line instead of continuing in the same paragraph.
 

Annoyance

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This took less time than I thought.
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I hope I was of some help. Overall, it was enjoyable, but you need to definitely work out the kinks I noted like the tense changing and general wording stuff. Work on that final sentence before Kairi says "Sora" too because there is no reason for a sentence to be that long. But yes, I'm hoping I helped just a bit, I'm sorry if I came off rude, you definitely have talent and potential you just need to work on some things.

Also wow I never noted how I like how you posted these. The images and spoiler boxes allow for a good broken up way of telling things. It's nice. I just wanted to comment on the first day since it had some issues.
 
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Jason1

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Pretty good, adding the picture of Sora all blured was a nice touch. And so was the scatered dream, and far off memory lines.
Thank you so much :) I'm happy to hear you enjoyed it. I was excited about posting the pictures, and that line as well. When I got to that part, I think I might have been drawing inspiration from the idea of the long distance, and oblivion they both felt. The line fit with that idea; a "scattered" dream, and a "far off" memory.

This took less time than I thought.
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I hope I was of some help. Overall, it was enjoyable, but you need to definitely work out the kinks I noted like the tense changing and general wording stuff. Work on that final sentence before Kairi says "Sora" too because there is no reason for a sentence to be that long. But yes, I'm hoping I helped just a bit, I'm sorry if I came off rude, you definitely have talent and potential you just need to work on some things.

Also wow I never noted how I like how you posted these. The images and spoiler boxes allow for a good broken up way of telling things. It's nice. I just wanted to comment on the first day since it had some issues.
No, no, thank you so much :) I'm humbled and I truly appreciate you taking the time and effort to add your perspective, and contribute to this piece of work, with your advice and help. It's funny, ever since the first day, I was conflicted with whether I should write in present or past tense, haha. I did notice I was going back and forth, but I couldn't make a decision, and left it the way it was. After writing Day 14, I decided to only write in past tense, and now everything from that point, is written like so. Thank you again for the review, and I'm so glad you liked the pictures and spoiler boxes, I was excited about posting those
 
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Jason1

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Day 27: Oblivion

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Jason1

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If anyone is interested, I just finished editing Day 1-12. I made some subtle changes, corrected mistakes, and if you noticed, put everything in past tense instead of going back and forth between past and present, haha. Maybe consider it a celebration for the newly announced Kingdom Hearts 1.5 HD Remix? Haha, I don't know


Day 49: Thalassa Shell

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Jason1

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Day 50-51: Light


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Jason1

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Day 84: First Day of Class

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Jason1

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Day 94: Dreams

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Day 130: Stars Above

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Jason1

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Still liking this story. I wonder what Vincent is doing in all of this. And what the organization's plans for Kairi are (if for anything at all).

Thank you! :) I'm so glad you like it ^_^ More is definitely going to be revealed as the story goes on!
 

Jason1

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Day 149: Assignment Part 1


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Jason1

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Day 150: Assignment Part 2 (Second Half)

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Jason1

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Happy Valentines Day! <33 In honor of the holiday, I've made a trailer for the the story! I've been working on this all week, revising it more times than I thought I would haha. My original plan was to release it alongside Day 151, but after reading it over again, I've decided it's still not ready. I know I can make it even better, so I'm not gonna post it unless I know I gave it my 100%. For now, I hope you enjoy the video :) If I can find a way to post it in a higher quality, I'll let you know

[video=vimeo;59711418]https://vimeo.com/59711418[/video]
 
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