• Hello everybody! We have tons of new awards for the new year that can be requested through our Awards System thanks to Antifa Lockhart! Some are limited-time awards so go claim them before they are gone forever...

    CLICK HERE FOR AWARDS

Fanfiction ► the pitiful past (Reader Insert)



REGISTER TO REMOVE ADS
Status
Not open for further replies.

Shasha

New member
Joined
Oct 12, 2015
Messages
8
Location
California
Website
shadowfurykatrina.tumblr.com
the pitiful past (Reader Insert)

Vanitas x Reader
I hate you...so much
You stared at him.
The boy with the ebony hair and golden eyes. He was never the nicest, which was obvious. He was cold, he was harsh, and he was ruthless. He trained you, sure he beat the shit out of you almost every time and you were pretty sure you had broken almost every large bone in your body thanks to his method of training, but he trained you to be strong nonetheless.
That was years ago. You had thought he died, back when Ventus sacrificed himself to destroy him and the X-Blade. You were pretty sure he did actually.
And yet, here was.
Standing in front of you, staring at you with those chilling, golden eyes. How? You had no idea and frankly, you didn’t want to care.
Sure Vanitas was a bad man but spending the amount of time you did with him allowed you to see him in situations you didn’t plan to see him in. In all reality, Vanitas was a sad man. Broken and confused. Of course he would never admit it but you saw it. Those nights after Xehanort and Vanitas finished their training, you could truly see who Vanitas was behind his tough man exterior. Xehanort was cruel, crueler than how Vanitas was with you. He showed no mercy and he would repeatedly beat Vanitas. It was hard to watch, so you didn’t. You stayed in your little hideout in the Keyblade Graveyard, waiting for him to comeback.
He told you how he felt, what he thought while you helped heal him up, using bottles of Cure. He’d cry to you and you’d let him lean on your shoulder just too totally ignore the fact it happened the next morning and have it all happen again, night after night. And you enjoyed it. Not the part where Vanitas gets his ass kicked of course, but the moments you shared. But nonetheless, he was a bad man.
You knew that much. He betrayed you, almost killed you with the X-Blade, killed your old friend Ventus and then had the guts to somehow comeback and confront you.
“(Y/N)…”
Without hesitation, you wielded your Keyblade and swung at the man; hard. He went flying with the impact of the Keyblade as it hit his abdomen. Your grip tightened on the hilt as you heard him crash into a nearby wall with a grunt. You took a deep breath before giving the man a side way glance as he stood up from the rubble
“T-tsk…You got stronger…I’ll give you tha-“
He was cut off as you ran full speed towards him with your blade up, both your Keyblades clashed, sparks went flying at the impact, both your eyes narrowed before you pushed yourself back.
“Are you going to let me tal-“
“damn you”
You hissed out in response before you started slamming your Keyblade against his as he tried to shield himself. This was a tactic he taught you. Brute force. No matter if you broke your bones doing this, it was effective nonetheless. Vanitas was on his knees due to the pressure in no time. Either, he’s lost his skills or you were just too strong for him but once you saw his current position, you kicked at him, he was too busy blocking your blade to block your foot from hitting him straight in the gut. As he curled over, you kicked him straight in his jaw.
You took a step back as he fell sideways onto the ground.
You stared up at him before kneeling down next to him
You reached out you hand, offering him a hand.
He spat up blood before wiping the blood from his nose. He stared at your hand in disgust.
You rolled your eyes; a Cure bottle appeared in your hand
“You look so pitiful Vanitas. You’re so damn weak”
But you still cared about him.
I love you all the same
 

navyninja87

New member
Joined
Aug 14, 2007
Messages
48
Age
36
Re: the pitiful past (Reader Insert)

Good start but the spaced out letters are a bit jarring. You might want to consider not spacing them out and using italics with apostrophes on the end, like this, 'I love you all the same'. It conveys the same message in my opinion.
 

KingdomKey

Queen
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
6,261
Awards
26
Age
32
Re: the pitiful past (Reader Insert)

You pulled at my heart strings on this one. I was hoping there was a kiss at the end of this, but it turned into a fight instead. lol. The format you wrote this in is a little distracting, but I like it all the same. I'm curious if the "I love you all the same" is from the reader or Vanitas himself? Either way, this was a favorite of mine to read today. Well done, Shasha. :)
 

Shasha

New member
Joined
Oct 12, 2015
Messages
8
Location
California
Website
shadowfurykatrina.tumblr.com
Re: the pitiful past (Reader Insert)

Yeah, I thought they may have.
They're in a different font that makes it looked space when in reality, it really isn't.
Though I noticed that the different font isn't all that noticeable here so maybe that's why it's not as aesthetic as I anticipated
 

Shasha

New member
Joined
Oct 12, 2015
Messages
8
Location
California
Website
shadowfurykatrina.tumblr.com
Re: the pitiful past (Reader Insert)

Thank you Kit~
Yeah, I dunno where I was going with the format to tell you the truth.
I just wanted to space things out a bit because it looked messy all bunched up and at some point I just gave up and it went all over the place. It's in the readers perspective!
I was really feeling some angst and I wanted to try out a fight and trust me,A kiss scene would have been great but I wanted to give the reader more of a...tough personality? Where they're hiding what they actually feel xD
The reader was actually heavily based off a KH fancharacter I have but I decided to keep her out ;u;
 

KingdomKey

Queen
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
6,261
Awards
26
Age
32
Re: the pitiful past (Reader Insert)

Your welcome, Shasha. :) I wouldn't overly worry about the format, because it's a lot better than walls and walls of text. lol. Therefore, yours was more refreshing to look at and everyone has their own unique style of writing. Yours just happens to remind me a bit of something I'd see in the poetry section tho. Anyways, you hit it on the nail for a tough personality, because that came across so well! Why do people have to be so dang stubborn in admitting their feelings? xD ooh, how exciting! You'll have to tell me more about her later!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top