Poetry ► ♫Grimoire of Rhymes♪

[Ðari]

Atrophy On My Emotions

Mercy was the problem I struggled with
Always taking ownership of problems so unwarranted
I wasn’t busy fucking with myself enough to give a shit
About my self esteem and constant state of worthlessness

But that’s the end it, close the book and starting over
I’m done pulling over, I’m saving up, might cop me a Range Rover
These fuck you’s looking plentiful, gottem hand and fist they taking over
Another out of body experience as my personalities unleashed with the change over

I can’t believe it took so long to be at peace with my emotions so dis regulated
With half a mind at work it’s no wonder why a nigga hesitated
To make commitments, make decisions that would change your life indefinitely
Fuck these pussies, I will never let them arrest what’s left of me

I’m here today, living, breathing, feeling like an anomaly
Quite honestly, my life has been a fucking tragic comedy
My brother died, best friend died, it’s sadness has and ebb and flow
Had to validate myself and relations in isolation because it’s all I know

It’s terrible, I’m terrible no bullshit and no exaggerations
People pissed away my patience with selfishness to fit the ages
Broke bitches wanting anything and everything so impatient
I’m violating every sanction, expectation, and won’t keep yall waiting

 

[Ðari]

Ice Climbers

Reload the clip, tired of this feeling of withholding shit
Done pissed me off the point of no return and I’m just over it
I’ll take all of you on a dare that’s based on ownership
And watch you lie and pussy out just like a brokerage

Don’t want your love or respect it’s value got inflated
Bitches complicated they life and barely getting situated
Kill’em where they stand and call it another man degraded
The energy so off the charts with lies they must be out here retrograding

I’ll put that my mother that this life I’m living is in my control
She skipped the birth control now your fucked while stuck on my patrol
These body shots are packing extra heat because hell is the toll
Your payment bounced, I fucked you up and got you looking questionable

 

[Ðari]

Souls and Shadows


A presence takes the neck and with a grip of cold
You’re collared up, obedient, don’t speak unless you’re told
The confidence you thought you built has already been sold
They wanna see you broken since no problems was never the goal

Shut it down, you carry on alone it must be tough
The brain on shuffle, scrambling just to make enough
We don’t even speak, sit in silence, reflection on the rough
Fuck I look like shutting up, challenge you and call your bluff

I let them kill me over and over again no hesitation
I’d rather break they spirits and subject them to expurgation
Clean the state and start over is the topic of this conversation
Crashing outta control got my hands ready for collaboration

Combo
Beat me into submission as it’s clearly necessary
Hate when they mistake my words for venom over vocabulary
Annihilating every adversary, lacerate they capillaries
Drag all of you to hell with me and back before I’m dead and buried

 

[Ðari]

The Ego Dies Forever

They'll tell you about yourself even when you're your biggest critic
They'll draw the line on your faults even when you say you did it
You can own it all and it doesn't matter what you did or didn't
But it feels like fuck all if your spirit dies when it ain't living
Don't it make you livid?

It should. Done fucked around and finally understood
That you're just an amalgamation of the bullshit withstood
Fuck what anybody got to say about you, me, the air and the wood
Treat all you with the social distance because I will not remain where I stood

I'll be the hypocrite for my sake of my sanity and self-empowerment
Weaklings call it a power-trip when securing my power in
Myself second to God's guide through my finest hour and
Acknowledging the self where I can bloom like a flower tip

Stand for something or don't bother standing by me
Fool yourself and think we're the same outside humanity
I'm watching you panicking, dumb reactive and it's insanity
Peace it up somewhere else ain't got time for the vanity
Because i've already felt useless, been worthless, been cursed in
An endless cycle of validation to disprove that I was worth it
I always was and still am, but subtle reminders show im working
Towards my best version, kill what killed me to finally stop the hurting


Pride. Dies. Today.
Along with shame.

 

[Ðari]

[Persona 5] Survival Instinct//


Warning signs are at the front and hard to miss
These boring times can’t be allowed to insist
I already told you I’m burning too hot to resist
Don’t press with pressure because I’ll ensure you don’t persist

It won’t be quick, the struggle in any capacity is the vitriol
Seething from the ear orifice better treat the pain with fentanyl

Feel flesh meet flesh strike fast and true
Eyes, jaw, face chest, move out the cement shoes
Get out, I know you’re not deaf dude
Lift those feet and waddle, post haste? Rude.

Already know sleep won’t find you
Those chattering teeth remind you
Just who you think you’re working with
Freeze and feel even a fraction of what I’ve been feeling since

Since…since…I can’t really remember when…

 

[Ðari]

Usagi no Blundergat

Come see how heavy it gets
I been stressed out and I’m never gone stitch
Never been able to handle this shit
Daddy neglected his girls he a bitch
Whole lotta resentment from letting it sit
I keep on talking bout’ healing that’s never gone happen and it’s not coz I’m lazy as shit
Rabbit hole this every moments a trip
I’ll never run out of rope in this bitch
Fuck out my face with religion, its just a concept that everyone else bit
They tried to convince me that another exist, but I said I am God, I’m testing they patience with this
You just gone do what everyone else did
Lie and save face til you finally switch
Standing on business because I got too much in me to quit

Aw shit

Think this is new to me huh?
You got amnesia and it ain’t fooling me huh?
Survived the abuse and tomfoolery huh?
I’m throwing hands at the weak men and breaking them brutally huh
Clasping your hands to a god that don’t answer you back is almost illusory huh?
None of yall know what to do with me huh?
I’ll never run outta futility huh?
That kinda rejections what’s fueling me huh?

Aw shit

Death in this section was present, we prepping for war so we better equipped
I got an army of demons inside of my head they hit paranoia with truth bullets that’s never gone miss
Prepping with all disrespect ain’t no human that can step to my clique
Watch your reality switch, change and start over and over again as you fail to exist

You just be lying and saying you don’t know any better
I press your ego and now you under pressure
I live in the truth and I know that I’m ruthless and that’s my endeavor
My base form is a cutesy killer, but I’m killing all of the liars forever
Whatever

 

[Ðari]

Burning (Middle) Finger

Where my bombs sit im raring to gettem lit
See my palms quick combustion with each hit

These explosives they set in motion
Promotions im running potent
Proposals done in the moment
Corrosive has been your focus

I'm toxic bitch, middle fingers up
Flip the switch as I call your bluff
Look me in the eyes bitch you ain't got the stuff
Powder puffs, finger twirling til yall had enough

Think you had it rough, crashing out for acting tough
Since day one I said I'd fuck you cowards up
These hands have buried bodies in a couple scuffs
Better seal it up, gold the silence before I tear it up

 

[Ðari]

Its Giving Forgiveness

No man is a monolith, he makes apologies for sins the same
To be human is to sin, don't withold it or even smut their name
The process is tricky, you getting entangled inside your head again
Brain throwing wicked jabs and you taking them to the crown again

Catching a body and getting bodied by the mind repeatedly from issues unresolved
There is no one coming, you gotta claim the pain because you deserve it all
Put that on your body first and don't play with nobody
Don't be sorry first, instead you show them your apology

You didn't plan for pain, you didn't plan for hurt, but we here now
Care that remorse is felt for the affected and move on what you'll do and how
Not easy to embrace the weight of actions caused with any staying power
Steel your soul against the metals and sharpen it until it's ours

 

[Ðari]

Epicurus


Whats your life like, coming to life like a moving doll
Got strings attached, puppeteer-ed to answer the call
What agency is there for you, what space can you be tall
Theres gotta be more to it than this constant vitriol

Theres work to be done, effort to be made, got no more time to waste
The web has spun, you've made the grade, proceed with haste

 

[Ðari]

Bonding


Reincarnated with a heart thats tough
Still thy tongue boy you talk too much
Fabricate stories on how you were never enough
Dispel distortions forthright and prepare for the flood

The hate runs deep but gets uprooted by love
A sigh of relief and raise your head up to the powers above
Wipe your brow and release yourself from the need to judge
Breathe in deep and expel whats seated itself in place of trust

Carrying heavier hearts than mine, I can say i'm responsibility's fool
My back filled with scars of mind, I can say I'm accountability's tool
Lost my presence in thoughts right now, I can think like Grecian's too
I draw strength from the lost right now, when I speak yall hearing me? cool

Everybody must be loved
shoulders back and approach the rough
Theirs no more space to judge
See my aura back powering up

Radiance that peaks on the rhythm of confident tune
Radiate peace from the heavenly peaks is my power move
Higher powers that be offer little speech but the rhetoric soothes
As I seek peace, i rarely speak as I let the voices fill up the room

 

[Ðari]

Heal By Completing Pain You Fucking Pussies


I denigrated from the greatest bitch, to greatest observer
Regenerate my existence and got back with the learners
Got tired of ego kicking my ass, my mind, and body
Got me probably ashamed because I can't blame nobody

I kid you not, the request for shame and inferiority dominated
In math class I ain't last past the pre-calculus computations
I'm serving lame as my temperament, the facts degraded
Care only about truth in front it all, the lies are dated

These pussies try and renounce you for their lack of healing
To abide by bitch made blame games while in they feelings
I'd say fuck your feelings, but I think you already knew the list was full
Fuck everybody that wanna whine about pain and can't resist it's pull

Stop fighting demons, and reconnect with the hurt at it's source
You face that shit til the pain burns off of you without remorse
So it's time to let it all go and scatter it into the wind
Collect your dues, live your life, step into your present skin

 

[Ðari]

Precious Metals


Raise your head and fix the attitude
Level the playing field with gratitude
The punching down is always rude
The loser talk has never been a boon

The power presented to me positions the soul for clarity
removing the diluted pieces of old, proclaiming agony
clutching at the ends of catastrophe and call it blasphemy
watching the pain be donating to me as if it's charity

Poor in value and attentiveness, I study hard to learn from this
A thirst for life, try to change his mind so he works for this
Wakes up every day, tired, doesn't matter coz he's concerned with it
Try to change his life, body, mind, because his hearts yearns for that

Love of his life, based everything truth because that's reality
Hold your tongue, don't contemplate a lie, that's a fatality
You'll kill the trust, better to be hated for your honesty
Raise your head, shoulders back, carry love and truth with integrity

Removin' heavy metals from my soul, picked apart and engulfed in flame
the purification of evils burning off the core values that pollute your name
we settle hard disputes to date, inner and outer so don't suppress the shame
carry your full existence's weight, because if you never change it stays the same

 

[Ðari]

Confession: Mother


One of these days I’ll part with the hurt
Instead of avoiding like you did with work
No apologies, shameless deeds, put you first
Them babies came at the time of the worst

Thought to abandon me, put the blame on me
Reject, put guilt, put shame on me
None of this pain was a game to me
External, internal was the shamed you’d feed

If I had to live then what was it all for?
To carry the resentment burning like a torch?
I’m burning on the inside, something inside is porous
I’m sensitive to all of the suffering I don’t have space to afford

People seem hellbent on tell you to forgive the folks
They’re human too and accountable too, they know the ropes
I’m untying the knots to make life a little more dope
One day I’ll forgive you and trust in you because that is my hope

 

[Ðari]

Visions of Yore


The mind is a garden, the man at the garden is waiting
Brought the watering can to feed the mind with patience
Temper the soul in alignment and keep the spirit elated
Raise your head, heart, and babies up there is no debating

Take a lick or three in the present, the injuries are sustained
Remembering pain, reliving it is excruciating on the brain
We not here to game the system, but mastery yet obtained
Head to God, carried on a prayer that belief can heal and change

Not a martyr for the innocent, my children don't deserve the stress
If life is painful lessons, then surely my actions will lead them to bless
the life they living, full and whole, not one thats free of mistakes to test
the gravity and strength they possess so they know their worth is more not less

For every other entity, don't see me as the enemy
I'll make friends with any entity, compliment you like a separate fee
The wounds run deep, but you deserve it all to get back on your feet
Catastrophe, if it ain't broke you yet then theres still strength to breed
Don't play with me, keep your message free of shame and greed
Shout it angrily, still got pain beneath all the names I breathe
Can't be indifferent, my problems won't go hidden cowardly
Clock me now, positive affirmations increase in power hourly

I deserve it all, to bare the burden of the self that is bathed in sin
I deserve it all, to carry the weight failures and pain that feels impossible to win
I deserve it all, to succeed and show the love that's buried beneath it all
She deserves it all, to be babied, forehead kisses, embarrassing photos on the wall