It is like an addiction it was like a drug. Does that make sense? A drug and you just wanted it more and more.... Yet when you do it it feels nice but after it just gives you more pain... I still think of doing it somtimes but its been a very long time sense ive cut mywself. I still got a scar and the basicly stops me... ANd I didnt mean that kind of love. Love love not that kind of love... That was disurbing to read lol>< But I get what your saying. Im afriad no one will love me meaing family. A boyfriend would be nice... Him just beeing there and listeing to me when I need him and him there to help me and wont leave my side. My guess is thats what real love is... Not one to have... Er.... You know...(sorry not that kind of person who likes to talk about that subject dont ease) I just want him to be there for me and listen. Im just afriad I wont be love by ANYONE not friends family.... I feel like I will never get that feeling.