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  • Im trying to post another chapter for Chosen but I dont wanna double post, could you please post something?
    How's it going? I want your opinion on something I worked on. Here it is:
    Suddenly, Lea saw a way to escape, a broken hole in the northeast corner of the huge room on top of some stairs. Lea turned to Isa, “There is escape, and we can get out of here.”

    The two boys ran closer to the exit, but something grabbed onto Isa’s blue jacket. Lea turned around to see what it was. Something invisible was pinning Isa to the ground.

    Isa (crying): Lea, leave me behind. I don’t want anything to happen to you.

    Lea ran over to his friend screaming in anger, “I’m not going to let you go.”

    Isa smiled at the brave redhead as his heart lifted out of his chest. Tears rolled down Lea’s face. He didn’t know what was going on, but he was upset. He got up running to the exit.

    Lea (his head turned back): Isa, I’ll find out what’s going on.

    Isa had already disappeared and all that remained was a slender-looking black shadow with huge antennas.

    Lea was finally at the exit about ready to escape when something scratched him. It threw him against one of the walls. He didn’t see what it was, but something told him to fight back. He got out his Frisbees swinging them one by one at the invisible creatures. It didn’t matter, because the scratches continued.

    Lea screamed thrusting his body out of the annoying scratching, “Who or whatever you are, I won’t let you get me like you did my friend! Got it memorized?!”

    Suddenly, a creepy laugh ran throughout the abandoned castle. A large gust threw Lea against a wall. “What’s going on?!” cried Lea.

    A man in a black coat with tan skin, white long hair, and golden eyes appeared. The man had some sort of weird Heart-shaped emblem on his chest. He walked over to the redhead smirking maliciously, “It shouldn’t be long till you’re a Heartless, Lea.”

    Lea (getting up): I won’t let you get me! (He dashed toward the man using his Frisbees as a weapon trying to hurt the man).

    He smirked as he dodged the Frisbees and grabbed the teenager by the chest. “You’re going to be one of us now, boy!”

    Lea: I don’t want to be like you, freaks! It’s your fault that Isa’s gone and I’ll avenge my friend’s memory by keeping myself safe from your grasp. (He wiggled as much as he could to loosen the grip the man had on him).

    Lea was able to get free, but only to have something sharp pierce into his chest. Lea’s eyes widen as he saw the black creature that had appeared after Isa disappeared standing in front of him. Lea’s heart flew out of his chest and consumed within the darkness vanished. The redhead’s body began to glow with a black aura and he suddenly felt himself losing memories of himself, Isa, and his life. “What’s happening to me?” cried Lea.

    The man smiled, “You’re turning into a Heartless.”

    Lea reached out his hand and darkness cornered all sides of his eyes. The man stood in front of him smirking with five Heartless appeared beside the man staring at Lea blankly.

    The darkness soon devoured Lea’s entire being. All that remained of Lea was a small Shadow Heartless. It gazed at Xehanort with a blank look.
    You should of seen what they changed Dogen's name to awhile back. I think that was longer than SS's current/ temp. name.
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