Memory Master

Her long blonde hair glowed with heavenly light as it swayed about gently in the soft breeze. The golden locks framed her pure, smooth skin, and called attention to her eyes, as blue as the deep oceans themselves.

~~~

Same description, but every part is longer and they relate to one another. Instead of making the description to be "fact a, fact b, fact c", you need to weave them together to make a picture. A picture - which is what you're trying to paint in words when it comes to descriptions, isn't made of parts. It's a whole in which everything intermingles.

Hardly. But either make every descriptive sentence longer, or find a way to connect them to each other.

The overall descriptions are fine, but they're really detached. There's not enough flow in the paragraph, mostly because your sentences are so short :\

Oh. wow. *scratches the back of her neck* I don't really know how to explain it. Maybe if you showed me an example and I could give you tips for improvement...

...I'm lolling because that's something I'm putting a lecture about for an upcoming anime convention here XD;
What would you like to know? Writing tips? Specific fanfiction tips? (they're not the same)

I don't know but if we don't use our own imagination then we can never get it right.

If you think their born from KH how do you know they have a developing stage.

But how can that be....Your saying a unborn heart is still developing and once its developed its born in darkness.
But the definition of born is brought into existence. If the heart is developing it exist does it not. So darkness brings hearts into existence which they develop from there.

I found the hole. It was only a matter of time.:tongue:

So what happens to the heart when it is released from the keyblade.
Next how can you take a heart that is developing.
Last how do we even know that their are developing hearts in Kingdom Hearts.

Perhaps the darkness is able to sustain the unborn heart. See darkness consumes unborn heart and darkness sustains unborn heart and thus unbirth.

If it is developing it cant sustain itself. How is the unborn heart going to be released while it is still developing.

Depending on your definition of unborn hearts if it is a fetus or not. I doubt it.

Well I reviewed over what you said and i remember this idea.

Ansem SoD says all hearts are born in darkness. What if unbirths are hearts not born in darkness.
It is connected to it because it is a heart not born in darkness.
By not being born in darkness. It is somewhat of in an unborn state. For example normally a heart is born in darkness but if a heart is not then it is as if it is unborn.
[IMG]

I wouldnt say exactly consumed by darkness because of the image. Also makes it seems redundant.
I would say the relation between the heartless and unbirths makes the keyblade react in the same way.

Ultimately, Hearts not born in darkness are unbirths. Ansem SoD says all hearts are born in darkness if a heart is not born in darkness its as if it is unborn. I like the idea of light taking on a form but...And extinct because maybe all hearts started to be born in darkness. Who knows....

But what do you think.[IMG]

Last thing, if you can why do you think the unbirths are extinct?

Next how do you think the unbirths are created?

It doesnt matter if its a old idea or new one. The main theory you go by.

Seeing as Rain mentioned the off topicness of our posts I'll carry it over to your page.


Yes Sephiroth did a great deal damage to Gaia in FFVII, however his role in KH1-2 have no real correlation to FF. And Xehanort didn't destroy the worlds, the heartless did-- a direct result of his research. Essentially he started it all but alone did little damage on his own part directly.

Got to take it a step at a time.

First what do you think the unbirths are....

Compromise will get us everywhere.

So far everything has revolved around the heart, body, and soul.
Especially the heart. Dont forget darkness is key in this also hearts are consumed by it and body and souls fade into it.

I expect this wont change. Also BBS is surely to have death and we know not all unbirths have symbols on them. Which could mean some are artificial.

So the questions are



Unbirths are what, could be soul, whole beings, or soul and heart? If we were talking about the three things that make a being.
Next how are they involved with darkness. Corrupted,transformed,or eroded.
If artificial, How are they created and from who I suspect MX or Ansem the Wise.
Gives true meaning to unbirths. Whole beings maybe like a reverse rebirth and soul, give to someone birth take unbirth.
Last why arent they around anymore.

Any ideas...

Memory Master, You got to suck it up your 16. Come on now, without these people we cant know if we are right or wrong unless someone points out the flaws. Look at my recent theory it was shut down and im just coming up with a new one.

Yeah me too