Okay so i decided i would critique the last chapter(because I've found that writing changes a lot after a couple chapters) and i'm like halfway through chapter 17. I'll finish it tonight and then have the actual critique up tomorrow.
About that last post yesterday (thread's dead now anyway so I think it's better to reply here): No offense, but I still do not think Sora did anything to earn his keyblade. Not initially anyway. He just got it at the Destiny Islands. Being overpowered by Heartless is hardly "earning" a keyblade. He DID rightfully earn it at Hollow Bastion. That's the whole point about the Kingdom Key in my opinion. Riku was supposed to get it, Sora got it instead because of Riku's darkness, Riku takes it away and only then after Sora's little revelation did Sora truly earn that keyblade. That's how I feel about it anyway.
Cool story bro. Like I care if those mods banned me.