I plan to do a bunch of them so I figured I should make a thread for them. Here's the first entry. It's based on a novel idea I had, where this short story is a scene from it. It starts in media res, in a sense, but I think you can gather what is being alluded to. I was also told that I don't write enough happy things which was what lead to this lol. Anyway, here we go~
and i want you.
PROMPT: BONDS OF FRIENDSHIP
CONTENT WARNING: NUDITY AND STUFFS
Peyton and Dejan walked along a small creek. The water nipped at their ankles as they struggled to keep their balance on the rocks. They had ditched their shoes back at the tent, not wanting to get them wet. Above, the sun filtered through the branches of the trees and danced on their skin. Dejan watched Peyton in front of him, who seemed to be taking the entire Event incredibly cavalier and calm. Inside he was on the verge of screaming and crying himself and couldn’t imagine how any of them were reacting differently. Peyton was taking it all in stride and Shane looked practically giddy the morning after. Did neither of them really have any concerns? All Dejan could think about was what his family would say when he told them, if he told them. What would he even say? Was he gay? Or was this something else entirely?
He had never thought about it before. They all knew Peyton was gay, of course. He had come out in highschool. At the time Dejan didn’t think much of it. Nothing had really changed. Peyton still smiled the same, laughed the same, joked around the same. He was more vocal about guys, sure, but that never seemed to turn inward on the group itself. Shane, of course, had girlfriends all throughout highschool. Was he really gay, too? F*ck.
Dejan wondered if Peyton thought about him like that before now. Wondered if he was thinking about him like that right this very moment. Suddenly he felt self-conscious. They were both shirtless as they walked the creek, but now Dejan was made far more aware of the slight chub around his hips and stomach and the muscles that he could see beneath Peyton’s skin. He never really felt like he had to worry about how he looked, at least not in that sort of way, but now it was consuming him. What if he wasn’t fit enough to be gay? Was that a thing?
Peyton looked back at him then, concerned. “Dejan.”
Dejan forced a smile and subconsciously wrapped an arm around his stomach. “Peyton.”
“Do you want to talk about the other night?” Peyton said. “It must be on your mind.”
“Just a bit,” Dejan lied. “But I don’t think I want to talk about it.”
Peyton nodded and continued to lead them down the creek. All around them the forest was alive and disinterested in whatever drama Dejan felt. The birds continued to chirp. The wind continued to blow. The ants continued to travel. None of them gave the slightest f*ck that Dejan was amid a gay crisis. Perhaps that was to give him some comfort, show him how small and insignificant he and his problems were in the grand scheme of things. Perhaps he would smile and sigh and realize how foolish he has been, how liking boys was no big deal. Perhaps. But that’s not what happened.
They reached the end of the creek, where the water met with a large rock wall. A small waterfall poured down from above, cascading down the rocks and forming the stream they had walked. Peyton gave a weak smile before removing his boxers and setting them on a nearby stone. This too only seemed to cause further worry in Dejan. What if his dick wasn’t big enough to be gay? Was that a thing? His size had never concerned him before now. That’s all he seemed to have been experiencing since it happened — concerns, growing in his heart like weeds. He tried to remember that it didn’t matter. Peyton had already seen him naked, had already seen more of him than he would ever thought imaginable, really. Dejan stripped himself of his own boxers and walked to the waterfall.
Peyton closed his eyes and let the water fall over him, running down his chest and back and legs. Dejan followed the water’s descent with his eyes and blushed when it reached his friend’s crotch. It wasn’t the first time that he had seen Peyton like that either, but for some reason, he could feel his cheeks burn like they never had before. Peyton seemed to notice as he let out a small chuckle before grabbing Dejan by the arm and pulling him into the water. He placed Dejan’s head directly under the stream and then rubbed his hair and laughed.
“Snap out of it,” he said with a grin, letting his hands fall from Dejon’s hair to his shoulders, to his arms, to his hands. He held onto Dejan’s fingers, their bodies close and nearly touching. “Talk to me,” he said quietly.
Dejan’s eyes closed tight. “I’m scared,” he whispered.
He could sense Peyton nodding in the way his grip swayed. “You have every right to be,” he said. “This is all new to you. It is scary.”
“I just don’t know what it means. What I am.”
“You’re Dejan,” Peyton said. “That hasn’t changed. You’re still my best friend. Still a ridiculous cute Indian boy who studies business. Still funny and kind and generous and caring. Still love video games and anime and slushies. Still watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine obsessively and deep down think about joining the RCMP and making it better for people like us. Still listen to 50’s and 60’s jazz and big band music. Still close your eyes and feel the trumpets in your blood.”
Peyton kissed Dejan on the forehead. “You’re still you.”
“But how can I be? I never looked at guys like this. It never even crossed my mind as a possibility. But now I look at you and I want you. And that’s terrifying.” He opened his eyes and looked like he was about to cry. “And it’s not just that. I keep thinking about how much I want to hold your hand and fall asleep with our bodies touching and just like, holding you. I really f*cking want to hold you and kiss you.”
“Then hold me,” Peyton said. “Then kiss me,” he said.
“But it can’t be that simple, can it? How can I even know if any of this is real? What if it was just… getting caught up in the moment? And all of these other feelings are just born of me overreacting? Overanalyzing?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know how you will know.”
“Well, how did you know that you were like that?”
Peyton looked down and away, avoiding Dejan’s attentive gaze. He let go of Dejan’s fingers, letting his arms go slack by his side. “I never just knew,” he said. “It was never that easy. Even after I came out, I still sometimes found myself questioning it. Maybe I’ll always question it. Maybe things aren’t so cut and dry.” He sighed, and turned away, resting his back against the rocks. “Maybe one day I’ll meet a girl and fall in love,” he said. “Probably right when I feel like I finally have all of this figured out,” he added with a small laugh.
Dejan rested against the rocks beside him. Their shoulders and arms touched. “So you’re saying I’ll always feel like this?”
“No,” he said. “Not exactly like this. It’ll get less scary. You’ll feel less awful about it. You’ll stop, hopefully, thinking there is something wrong with you, and you’ll learn to just take it as it comes.” He turned to look at Dejan, who still looked so scared and helpless. “Sexuality is a f*cking mess, Dej. And you won’t ever just have it click and then that will be that. But you will always have me, and we can stumble and figure out this shit together, if you want.”
Dejan smiled and he held Peyton’s hand and his heart seemed to light up.
“So you’re saying it never just hit you like ‘wow I am so f*cking gay’?” Dejan asked after a moment.
Peyton laughed. “It did, actually, sort of. I mean I didn’t think of it like that, but after one point, it did kind of hit me. After a long time of worrying and feeling ashamed and scared and denying it. All of the sudden it was like all the doors opened up inside me. I looked back over my life and a lot of things made more sense. Like why I always felt warm inside when you fell asleep on my shoulder while watching episodes of 1960’s Batman. Or when we covered Shane’s chest in fake blood and cuts for that project. Little things like that, all throughout my life, made more sense. And I felt… happy.”
“Warm, huh?” Dejan muttered quietly.
“Hm?”
Dejan faced Peyton. His expression was focused and serious, even as the water sometimes forced him to close and squint his eyes. He brushed his hair back with one hand and pulled Peyton forward, slightly out of the water with the other. “Peyton,” he said. “Can I kiss you right now?”
Peyton grinned. “Always.”
Their lips met under the water and even then they could feel the fires burn inside each other. Dejan held Peyton close, their flesh against flesh, his hand firmly on his neck while another wrapped around his waist and pressed against his back. Peyton felt right in his arms, like they were two puzzles pieces finally connecting after years apart. He wondered what it would have been like if he had missed out on this feeling his entire life. This feeling where everything was warm and familiar and right. Dejan smiled against Peyton’s lips, and skin. He tasted like wild berries. They stumbled back against the rock wall, water pouring over them as they continued to connect and disconnect their lips, their hands, their love.
Eventually they broke away and rested their foreheads against each other, both of the boys all smiles and sparks.
“Well?” Peyton asked after a moment, still breathing slightly heavy.
“I never knew,” he replied, “that I had this heat inside.”
Peyton smiled. He wrapped his arms around Dejan once more.
And they held each other tight.
and i want you.
PROMPT: BONDS OF FRIENDSHIP
CONTENT WARNING: NUDITY AND STUFFS
He had never thought about it before. They all knew Peyton was gay, of course. He had come out in highschool. At the time Dejan didn’t think much of it. Nothing had really changed. Peyton still smiled the same, laughed the same, joked around the same. He was more vocal about guys, sure, but that never seemed to turn inward on the group itself. Shane, of course, had girlfriends all throughout highschool. Was he really gay, too? F*ck.
Dejan wondered if Peyton thought about him like that before now. Wondered if he was thinking about him like that right this very moment. Suddenly he felt self-conscious. They were both shirtless as they walked the creek, but now Dejan was made far more aware of the slight chub around his hips and stomach and the muscles that he could see beneath Peyton’s skin. He never really felt like he had to worry about how he looked, at least not in that sort of way, but now it was consuming him. What if he wasn’t fit enough to be gay? Was that a thing?
Peyton looked back at him then, concerned. “Dejan.”
Dejan forced a smile and subconsciously wrapped an arm around his stomach. “Peyton.”
“Do you want to talk about the other night?” Peyton said. “It must be on your mind.”
“Just a bit,” Dejan lied. “But I don’t think I want to talk about it.”
Peyton nodded and continued to lead them down the creek. All around them the forest was alive and disinterested in whatever drama Dejan felt. The birds continued to chirp. The wind continued to blow. The ants continued to travel. None of them gave the slightest f*ck that Dejan was amid a gay crisis. Perhaps that was to give him some comfort, show him how small and insignificant he and his problems were in the grand scheme of things. Perhaps he would smile and sigh and realize how foolish he has been, how liking boys was no big deal. Perhaps. But that’s not what happened.
They reached the end of the creek, where the water met with a large rock wall. A small waterfall poured down from above, cascading down the rocks and forming the stream they had walked. Peyton gave a weak smile before removing his boxers and setting them on a nearby stone. This too only seemed to cause further worry in Dejan. What if his dick wasn’t big enough to be gay? Was that a thing? His size had never concerned him before now. That’s all he seemed to have been experiencing since it happened — concerns, growing in his heart like weeds. He tried to remember that it didn’t matter. Peyton had already seen him naked, had already seen more of him than he would ever thought imaginable, really. Dejan stripped himself of his own boxers and walked to the waterfall.
Peyton closed his eyes and let the water fall over him, running down his chest and back and legs. Dejan followed the water’s descent with his eyes and blushed when it reached his friend’s crotch. It wasn’t the first time that he had seen Peyton like that either, but for some reason, he could feel his cheeks burn like they never had before. Peyton seemed to notice as he let out a small chuckle before grabbing Dejan by the arm and pulling him into the water. He placed Dejan’s head directly under the stream and then rubbed his hair and laughed.
“Snap out of it,” he said with a grin, letting his hands fall from Dejon’s hair to his shoulders, to his arms, to his hands. He held onto Dejan’s fingers, their bodies close and nearly touching. “Talk to me,” he said quietly.
Dejan’s eyes closed tight. “I’m scared,” he whispered.
He could sense Peyton nodding in the way his grip swayed. “You have every right to be,” he said. “This is all new to you. It is scary.”
“I just don’t know what it means. What I am.”
“You’re Dejan,” Peyton said. “That hasn’t changed. You’re still my best friend. Still a ridiculous cute Indian boy who studies business. Still funny and kind and generous and caring. Still love video games and anime and slushies. Still watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine obsessively and deep down think about joining the RCMP and making it better for people like us. Still listen to 50’s and 60’s jazz and big band music. Still close your eyes and feel the trumpets in your blood.”
Peyton kissed Dejan on the forehead. “You’re still you.”
“But how can I be? I never looked at guys like this. It never even crossed my mind as a possibility. But now I look at you and I want you. And that’s terrifying.” He opened his eyes and looked like he was about to cry. “And it’s not just that. I keep thinking about how much I want to hold your hand and fall asleep with our bodies touching and just like, holding you. I really f*cking want to hold you and kiss you.”
“Then hold me,” Peyton said. “Then kiss me,” he said.
“But it can’t be that simple, can it? How can I even know if any of this is real? What if it was just… getting caught up in the moment? And all of these other feelings are just born of me overreacting? Overanalyzing?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know how you will know.”
“Well, how did you know that you were like that?”
Peyton looked down and away, avoiding Dejan’s attentive gaze. He let go of Dejan’s fingers, letting his arms go slack by his side. “I never just knew,” he said. “It was never that easy. Even after I came out, I still sometimes found myself questioning it. Maybe I’ll always question it. Maybe things aren’t so cut and dry.” He sighed, and turned away, resting his back against the rocks. “Maybe one day I’ll meet a girl and fall in love,” he said. “Probably right when I feel like I finally have all of this figured out,” he added with a small laugh.
Dejan rested against the rocks beside him. Their shoulders and arms touched. “So you’re saying I’ll always feel like this?”
“No,” he said. “Not exactly like this. It’ll get less scary. You’ll feel less awful about it. You’ll stop, hopefully, thinking there is something wrong with you, and you’ll learn to just take it as it comes.” He turned to look at Dejan, who still looked so scared and helpless. “Sexuality is a f*cking mess, Dej. And you won’t ever just have it click and then that will be that. But you will always have me, and we can stumble and figure out this shit together, if you want.”
Dejan smiled and he held Peyton’s hand and his heart seemed to light up.
“So you’re saying it never just hit you like ‘wow I am so f*cking gay’?” Dejan asked after a moment.
Peyton laughed. “It did, actually, sort of. I mean I didn’t think of it like that, but after one point, it did kind of hit me. After a long time of worrying and feeling ashamed and scared and denying it. All of the sudden it was like all the doors opened up inside me. I looked back over my life and a lot of things made more sense. Like why I always felt warm inside when you fell asleep on my shoulder while watching episodes of 1960’s Batman. Or when we covered Shane’s chest in fake blood and cuts for that project. Little things like that, all throughout my life, made more sense. And I felt… happy.”
“Warm, huh?” Dejan muttered quietly.
“Hm?”
Dejan faced Peyton. His expression was focused and serious, even as the water sometimes forced him to close and squint his eyes. He brushed his hair back with one hand and pulled Peyton forward, slightly out of the water with the other. “Peyton,” he said. “Can I kiss you right now?”
Peyton grinned. “Always.”
Their lips met under the water and even then they could feel the fires burn inside each other. Dejan held Peyton close, their flesh against flesh, his hand firmly on his neck while another wrapped around his waist and pressed against his back. Peyton felt right in his arms, like they were two puzzles pieces finally connecting after years apart. He wondered what it would have been like if he had missed out on this feeling his entire life. This feeling where everything was warm and familiar and right. Dejan smiled against Peyton’s lips, and skin. He tasted like wild berries. They stumbled back against the rock wall, water pouring over them as they continued to connect and disconnect their lips, their hands, their love.
Eventually they broke away and rested their foreheads against each other, both of the boys all smiles and sparks.
“Well?” Peyton asked after a moment, still breathing slightly heavy.
“I never knew,” he replied, “that I had this heat inside.”
Peyton smiled. He wrapped his arms around Dejan once more.
And they held each other tight.