;_____;
goodness sake thank you so guys sosososo much *hugs* You have no idea how much I appreciate all of your advice, especially right now. Thank you very, very much <3 ;w;
Here's where, I think, lies your "problem". There are many more happy, great moments ahead. You just need to let them in and not say that "that's as good as it's ever going to be".
I don't know you personally, but I've struggled with depression as well (kind of runs in the family, sadly) so I'll try to give you my point of view. I have days where I simply don't feel like doing anything. But those are truly the moments where you have to pick yourself up and "force" yourself to do things. If you let yourself go, it'll only get worse (not to sound pessimistic, but yeah, that's how I've experienced it).
Try to be social, try to talk to people and deal with possible failures during conversations (can't expect to turn into a smooth talker in a second). Be patient with yourself. And you know, sometimes, it only takes meeting one person to change your life entirely and make you happy. And that's obviously not going to happen with an anti-social attitude.
Of course, I can say a lot of things you should do, like I did above, but it really all depends on you and what feels right to you. You have to decide for yourself whether or not you want to work on this and actually do it (wanting is one thing, doing is another).
It's good that you're talking about it and please, don't stop. You've got the ball rolling now, don't stop kicking. I wish you all the best!
I hope I don't think that my DCP was as "good as it's going to get," but I probably do from time to time ;A; But I'm in a situation where, everyday, I'm at home in a town where I can't make friends outside of the internet. There's literally no way for me to go out and make friends just because of where I live, plus my school is a couple towns away (like an hour and a half drive?) and the last time I was there, I could NOT make any friends, no matter how hard I tried. So, I guess that's the reason why I think that my DCP was the best thing to ever happen to me, because it feels like there's no way to get to something better, at least not yet. (I was accepted for another program in February, but I had to cancel it because of some medical issues; though, I'm counting down the days until I can reapply haha)
But I will definitely take your advice and, once I start school again, I'm going to try very hard to start up conversations where I can and not let fear stop me. Social anxiety has stopped me too many times in the past from making friends, and I refuse to let it stop me anymore. (...i am anti-social, too, but i think social anxiety is more of a problem? i wrote that post when it was really late and i had no sleep, so i wasn't saying the right thing there lulz xD;
The hardest part is definitely going to force myself to do things, though. Some days are better than others, but I've found a few things that will help keep me on track and guide me towards doing thing. I think it's a cross behind a productivity/attention problem and this whole depression thing, but I've been fighting to get through it for a long time. I'll keep fighting and figuring out ways to overcome it. Thank you!! ;w;
I believe king_mickey rule said it best for me. I'll still try to help you out, and remember, you have lots of friends who want to help you!
I'll start off by saying: You need to concentrate on one problem at a time, instead of all of them at once. By doing the opposite, you're overwhelming and frustrating yourself from all angles. Boxing yourself in, really.
I've been there. I can't offer you advice on panic attacks but, I can give you small advice on the things you used to love doing.
I'm not sure why you loss interest in the things you do. It could be for a number of reasons; Obligation. Guilt. Forced. Required. Expectations.
^ Which can really suck. I know that it does because, it makes it less fun and that much easier to let those things go and not do them. Instead of fretting over what you're not doing,
try something new. Take a vacation. Do something you've always wanted to do. If the things you used to like don't appeal to you right now, I really recommend doing something different for the day. Better yet, go on a walk and don't think. Don't think about anything. Or drown your thoughts out with music. Those things you liked to do before will still be there, waiting for you, when you come back and feel ready to start anew.
Don't let anxiety win. I know the fear of "what if's" can drive a person crazy but, you have to put yourself out there. Or face whatever it is creating that anxiety in the first place. I know its not easy but, you need to keep telling yourself, "I deserve to be happy" or "Do what makes you happy." Or perhaps get something that will comfort you, when you start to feel scared and worried.
The important thing in all of this Rena, is that you're still getting up each day. You're stronger than what you think. A whole lot more braver than me by posting about your problems. You don't see it now but, you're already trying to work through the problem by seeking help from your friends that will try to be there for you in the way that they can be.
Its three in the morning here. So, I don't know if my advice is good or bad. I just hope it helps you out. Even just a tiny bit. x3 I wish you the best of luck and I know you can overcome this, Rena!
And I greatly appreciate all of your help!! <3 You guys are amazing, thank youuuu ;w;
I can't take a vacation (though it would be super nice if i could ;0
, but I'm gonna try to find fun things that make me happy; like... just take a break from the world before school starts? I haven't been playing a lot of video games recently, even though I've wanted to, but Kingdom Hearts always,
ALWAYS makes me happy, so I have more of a reason to play it right now xD To be honest, working on my projects (especially KHOC) has turned me off from working on them, like I feel too obligated to work on all of it now? Even if I try to work on little bits everyday, it's hard to keep up the momentum and keep working on it, even though I want to tell these stories
so much. So, a break would probably serve me well, maybe working on some other fun stuffs, too? (Like taking up another random hobby lulz)
And lulz I'm not sure if I'm brave at all, but I hope I'm becoming a little braver and stronger by trying to tackle this stuff ;u; *hugs* Thank you so much, KitKat. I really appreciate your help.
Let me get this out of the way first before I say anything else: Rena, I'm like you minus the depression stuff. I have panic attacks from time to time and I do not leave home (except for getting food and doing other things). I don't like to drive, which is sad because I love my yellow Mustang. T_T Not only that, I suffer from PTSD which makes it harder on me.
But I was able to get help from doctors, family members, and friends (both real life and on here). Yes, I can have those attacks from time to time, but I learned how to overcome it.
Anyway, you got friends to help out and you're doing the right thing by telling us and asking for advice. ^_^ Remember: All for one and one for all! We'll be with you as you'll be with us.
*hugs you* Keep living the beautiful live you have now and go beyond the skies!
;A; YOU CAN'T DRIVE YOUR MUSTANG?! omg i'm sorry ;____; *hugs* We should face our anxiety together!
But I'm in your exact same situation, obviously without the depression stuff. (I only realized that recently, but anxiety and panic attacks have been my major problem for years, so I know how awful that stuff is >.<)
But ahhhh, thank you, Roxie!! ;w; I'm going to go see my psychologist soon, so hopefully she can help me out with all of my problems and stuff.
If this is a recurring problem, consider seeing a psychiatrist and getting long-term anxiety or depression medication that will smooth out those roller-coaster moments and make you feel better. Although, word of caution, psychotropic medications often have bizarre side-effects, so you might have to work with your doctor to find the right one for you that causes the least side effects.
My other piece of advice is to stay away from KHI because it's filled with insane trolls.
I've been seeing a psychologist since my panic attacks and anxiety has started, but she's never, ever recommended medication for me, since she approaches things using relaxation techniques and other methods while she uses medication as a last resort. My mom has said that I need to go on medication multiple times, but my anxiety is so sporadic, I guess, that I don't see a point. (Since it has the tendency to get really bad for a little while, but then go away completely for a few months. It's weird lulz.) That, and I'm terrified of the side effects for anxiety medication. I've been able to face things on my own for a while and, although I do still have trouble, I don't see the need for medication for myself.
And lol fortunately, the RP and Writing sections don't have a lot of trolls, so I'm good xD I've been here for a super long time and I've met most of my online friends through this site ;u;
Okies, since I put this up, I found one of the main sources of my problems and it's a lot more pressing now, so... I guess I'll just ramble and see where that goes? lulz, I honestly don't know how to ask for advice on this, but if I can get any advice, then I would greatly, GREATLY appreciate it, since it's actually causing me to have breakdowns. Soooooo... here we go! owo (Also, I apologize in advance if this gets super rambly, but I'll try my best to make it as coherent and clear as possible~)
The main reason I've become more depressed recently is because of my mom's actions towards me. She met this guy online a little over a week ago, went out on a date with him, and then has gone to his house every night since.
So... why is this a big deal? Well, this is the first guy she's ever found, since my parents got separated in 2010, that has made her happy. All I want is for my mom to be happy, so I'm really happy for her. Unfortunately, she's treating me poorly because of it.
My mom is my best friend in the whole world, and I love her so much. We're super geeky together, we always have a great time, and we don't act like mother and daughter; we act more like best friends. But this guy has changed all of that. My mom is completely obsessed with him now, and it seems like he is the only thing that makes her happy. (It seems like not even her cats make her this happy anymore, which is RIDICULOUS. She's a vet and bottle-fed some of our cats when they were kittens, when they were a few days old, if that gives you an idea of how much they mean to her.)
I guess I sound like a jealous idiot, but the other night (actually, when I put up this thread), I stayed up, waiting for my mom to come home. She promised that she wasn't going to stay at his house overnight and would come home in a few hours. Then she called and said she was having chest pain. She's in pain a lot and has medical problems, so I worry about her a LOT. So, when she said this, I promised that I would stay awake because I was worried about her. So I tried to stay up until she got home, and she didn't get home until 8 AM because she didn't leave until around 7 AM. By then, I had two breakdowns, during one of which, I kept wondering, "Why doesn't my mom love me anymore?" A complete over exaggeration, yeah, but... I feel like my mom doesn't care about me now.
I've had several breakdowns since she started seeing this guy, because she acts like he's a million times more important. (Case and point: when she said that he would be the first to worry about her because of her medical problems, I screamed, "BULLSHIT," because I'm the one who has always, ALWAYS been the first to rush in to help my mom. When she said that we should have game night every week about two weeks ago, she promised that we would have it last Friday, then, when that didn't work out (because she went to this guy's house), she promised we would have it on Tuesday. When I asked her about it earlier, she said, "As long as it's not at night," when doing it at night is really our only option. Feeling pushed aside? Yuuuuuup.) She's also lied to me about several things since she started seeing this guy, when she would never do something like that before.
The problem is... I don't have the courage to tell her how upset she's making me. When I've tried to say something, she gets upset instead and makes me out to be the bad guy. Yet, I'm the one who's having breakdowns, who's trapped in our house, who has no friends who I can see in person.
I'm not in a situation where I can go and live on my own, so that's not an option. But I have to do something because the only "cure" for this right now is for me to go to sleep around the time that she leaves to see him at night, otherwise I wait up all night until she comes home. That's literally the only thing that fixes it.
I love my mom so much, but I have to do something. I can't handle her treating me badly like this anymore.
I hope I explained that well enough (I tried my best, but I've been having a hard time explaining everything ;~
, but this whole situation is breaking me down completely. I HAVE to do something, yet I feel like I'm not allowed to be mad or upset. I dunno what to do >__< Any suggestions? Am I stupid for getting upset over this? (If I need to explain more, I can~)