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Help/Support ► well, it's not exactly running away, but i don't have a better phrase for it



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Angel

number one fan of teresa giudice
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so uh, yeah.

my mom threw a tantrum when i declared myself to be an atheist, and said some really mean shit.

guess who's not coming home for awhile?

to expand:
just because my mom KNOWS i'm atheist, does NOT by any means it's okay to say so to her face, for some reason. :/
anyways:

so my mom drags me to church (which oddly enough, could've been avoided if I STAYED SLEEPING ASJDHGJSDG), and since she made a remark about me being a non-believer the day before, i thought it would be okay to quit the 9 month hipocrisy streak and be more of a reluctant observer in mass, rather than a willing participant.

WRONG

i skip out on two signs of the cross during, and my mom tells me essentially to GTFO if I'm not going to be "respectful". i stay for the rest of the hour and i humor her, but she ignores me for the rest of the hour, with the one exception of not slamming the kneeling bench on my foot. mass ends, and we walk to the car. my mom starts saying how she and my father have tried to give me everything i've ever wanted and how ungrateful i am (an endless stream of joyful "thank you!"s and "your awesome!"s are not enough, when a belief in a higher power displays gratitude). i say that i would rather go in church and do nothing rather than continue to be a hippocrite and go through the motions, telling her flat out that i am an atheist. I also tell her that the only reason i've gone to church for quite some time (9 months, but i didn't give her an exact time period) was to keep her happy, and that if my presence was not enough anymore, then she should just say so.

she then launches into an attack on my beliefs, saying that i "shouldn't be using that word (atheist)" like i'm a theologist, or that i "have so many years of experience over her" (which i refuted repeatedly, with increasing futility).

she then tells me, quite hurtfully, that she will "treat [me] like treat god and jesus; like don't exist".

we pull into our garage, and say that i can't be expected to be her slave for the next two years, and she tells me that she will take away all my things. i run inside, and tell my father that "mom is punishing me for not being catholic anymore" (which i don't think he heard, since he had headphones on), and run up to my room, quickly trying to hide anything of value, but when i was finished with a rather half hearted attempt to hide my PS3, my mom barges in and dives for the games cabinet (she's been dying to do this since, well, ever). I grab my phone and wallet, and tell her I'm leaving.

Now, I'm at the "plaza" in my neighboorhood, and my aunt has apparently been talking to my mom about what to do, like my cousin has been with me.

I very much plan on staying here for awhile, at least until i am promised an apology. Which, knowing my mom, will come shortly following sundown.

please, don't write this off as "angsty teenager runs away because life is unfair", because my mom has gotten quite used to taking me and my presence for granted, and that's something I'm quite sick of.

(i see one tl;dr and you're getting junk punched)
 

Stavvy

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You should've taken your ps3 with you, and please, Steve's story was easily three times longer.

So your problem is you don't want your mom to treat you any differently now that you're a proclaimed (as in, you've told her now) atheist? Or that you're tired of her treating you like shit?
 

Angel

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You should've taken your ps3 with you, and please, Steve's story was easily three times longer.

So your problem is you don't want your mom to treat you any differently now that you're a proclaimed (as in, you've told her now) atheist? Or that you're tired of her treating you like shit?

i didn't have time to pack, and besides, she would've wrestled it off me, and i'd rather lose it than risk it being broken.

both, actually.

but regardless, after i come back, things are gonna change around my house.
 

Superschlock

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Well, I for one am a Christian, and Catholosicm isn't much different (from what I've been told; I need to read up) and I can understand your mom wanting you to come to know God (who exists from our religious viewpoints) but, her efforts are, well, ridiculous. I mean, if she wanted to talk to you (or vice-versa) thats fine, but completely boycotting you and punishing you is going kinda far, especially if you don't want to be going to church with her in the first place =/ It's not anyones decision what you do and don't believe in
 

stephaknee

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You have to tell your mom that, before being a Christian, she is your mother. And that she can't threaten you into believing in god. It's understandable that she's upset, as in her mind, you're doomed to burn in hell. But taking your shit isn't going to help the situation. I'm sure she won't let you stay out of the house for too long, though.
 

Enchanted Rose

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Honestly, you've acted far more maturely than her in this.

You probably need to explain to her your reasoning from turning away from the Catholic faith in as respectful and sensitive manner as you can muster.

It seems that you are something of a theologist really, so it shouldn't be too difficult for you to express your views, and she might benefit knowing that you have thought about this carefully and intelligently, even if she doesn't agree with the logic.

Possibly you could get in contact with your aunt and say that you want to explain things to your mother. This way she will see it's not a rebellion for the sake of it, but something that you've thought over.
At the moment, she may be in shock. She also probably doesn't understand the reasoning, making it harder to empathise or ultimately forgive you.

But mothers can never turn their back on children for too long. I think that you have the power here, and no doubt she'll have to uphold christian ideals of forgiveness.

Good luck Angel.
 

Angel

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Well, I for one am a Christian, and Catholosicm isn't much different (from what I've been told; I need to read up) and I can understand your mom wanting you to come to know God (who exists from our religious viewpoints) but, her efforts are, well, ridiculous. I mean, if she wanted to talk to you (or vice-versa) thats fine, but completely boycotting you and punishing you is going kinda far, especially if you don't want to be going to church with her in the first place =/ It's not anyones decision what you do and don't believe in

yeah, my mom tends to go over the top with punishments.

which is why i want to win our "battle of the wills", because then the only person in ANY place to punish me is my father. and he's MUCH more level headed and reasonable.

You have to tell your mom that, before being a Christian, she is your mother. And that she can't threaten you into believing in god. It's understandable that she's upset, as in her mind, you're doomed to burn in hell. But taking your shit isn't going to help the situation. I'm sure she won't let you stay out of the house for too long, though.

let me put it this way:

she fucking lost it when i went to a friend's house after trick or treating

AT 8 FUCKING 30

@Naomi: I have no immediate plans to contact any blood relatives other than my cousin for another 4 hours or so. And everyone on her side of the family is Catholic too, making it harder to get anyone she trusts on my side. The only person who can actually say anything is my dad, and if he's smart, he'll just stay the fuck out of it. I'd LOVE to sit down and calmly explain my reasons, but until my mom cools off and realizes she wants me around more than she wants me to be Catholic, that will be a futile effort.
 
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I wish there was some sort of magical third option here, but ultimately you've got to choose your battles and this one isn't worth fighting. You're not going to reason with her, because obviously she doesn't care about that which is reasonable in the first place. You can play by her rules and feel like a hypocrite or you can try to fight back and have your mother become your own worst enemy. It's just about that simple. Wait it out until you reach adulthood.
 

Angel

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I wish there was some sort of magical third option here, but ultimately you've got to choose your battles and this one isn't worth fighting. You're not going to reason with her, because obviously she doesn't care about that which is reasonable in the first place. You can play by her rules and feel like a hypocrite or you can try to fight back and have your mother become your own worst enemy. It's just about that simple. Wait it out until you reach adulthood.

She won't be my worst enemy when she calls me on the phone in tears after dark begging me to come home.
 

Aqua.

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Wow, no offense but your mom is acting like a bitch.

I would ask her why she thinks that her beliefs are higher than any other human, even if it's her son which she may see as "lower".

Im sure God wouldn't want a mother to erase her son from her life just because he doesn't agree with something she does. If she where really into the whole "catholic" thing, then she would fucking pray to God and ask him to let her son[you] find his way in life. If she where really desperate, she would probably use the words "let my son believe in you and see his errors of his ways blah blah ect.".

But seeing as how she isn't doing that [from what you have provided us with], she is most likely doing this because she feels she needs to control everything around her with her beliefs and anything that isn't what she thinks is right is wrong. [this part is sorta baised baised on my mom..]

Well.. I don't really know what to say.. you didn't really ask for advice or anything.. I think what you should do is vent. It might help you a lot. And don't get too over dramatic about it. Your mother just probably thinks that the best and only way for you to be happy and live is to dedicate yourself to God and all that..

Have you tried going to a friend's house who your parents have no contact with?
 

Angel

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aquaxion, as much as I would like to take refuge at a friend's house as a backup in case my mom draws from previously unknown stores of willpower, it's doubtful.

the only friend i could ask is 2 doors down from her, and i don't really feel comfortable asking anyone anyway.
 

Rabgix

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I wish you luck, but i wish you did believe in God. However its a step by step process. You cant force someone to believe in God right away or by threatening them. And God comanded parents to help their children, not hurt them or make them sad.

I will stand by you in this time with your mom. I turned to God just this year.
 

Aqua.

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I see.

Well, maybe you can stay at a mall or something.. or a starbucks? [yes starbucks lame idea i know]

Maybe once you two speak again, ask her if she could love you as her son by putting aside a detail on what your beliefs are.

Seriously she pisses me off though, trying to force someone into a belief and then treating them differently then how she would if you where catholic.. isn't that discrimination against religion/beliefs?

Lol, I know this may sound waaaaaaaaay too drastic, but you know I thought the Constitution said something about that... lol.. who knows maybe you can get some higher ups involved in this.. "/

Or make yourself look beat up so she can feel more guiltyer when she sees you again.
 

Stavvy

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That seems a bit extreme, considering he says that his mom will already feel like shit by the time she calls.
 

Banishing Blade

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She won't be my worst enemy when she calls me on the phone in tears after dark begging me to come home.

Because that feeling of gratitude and happiness will last forever, and she'll suddenly understand your viewpoint? Not a chance.

Sam's right. This isn't a fight worth fighting. Suck it up until you're 18 (or whatever qualifies as adulthood wherever you live).
 

Angel

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well, it's over, for now, albeit on a note i don't like.

right after i found an under-construction apartment to spend the night in, i get a text from her offering to take me to my favorite restaurant.

and here i am, waiting for the homemade rice and chicken to be done.

i don't know why the fuck i expected anything more from her.

oh and from now on, i'll have a bag packed in case she decides to pull this shit sometime again before school starts
 
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