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KHI Editorials: 25 Qualities of a Hero

Written by Chihiro

Friday, 21 March 2008

Hey guys! I'm Chihiro, aka *Oathkeeper*. I provide icons and colored manga pages for the site, which I hope all of you have enjoyed thus far! If there's anything you should know about me, I'm a huge dork and will pretty much fangirl about anything and everything.

Today we have a special treat. The launching of our newest feature: KHInsider Editorials! Every so often, whenever there is no major news or event to cover, we will make the headlines ourselves, with special write-ups, commentary, and fun concerning the Kingdom Hearts series. More details will be provided later. Since this is our first editorial, please comment on this feature by clicking read more at the end of the update. You can even recommend what you'd like us to write about!

So presenting our first KHInsider Editorial, written by me! As we all know, the heroes of the Kingdom Hearts series all have very cliche and funny attributes you could only expect from the writings of a Japanese roleplaying game. What better way to highlight these qualities then to make fun of them!

25 Qualities of a Kingdom Hearts Hero

1. Angst is good. No need for explanation.
2. Inner conflict is a must. Now, this may include battling your (personal) inner turmoil – like choosing whether to fight with a shield or a sword. Or you can go to the extremes and battle with your “other half.”
3. LACK OF COMMON SENSE.
4. Act first, then angst about it later. Refer back to number 1.
5. Zero shock factor; I guess having a random key magically show up in your hands isn’t that unusual. The same goes for fighting with cards. Apparently, throwing cardboard cards with magical powers isn’t strange at all. Nope.
6. Must be able to fall at great heights without getting injured. Jumping off a roof doesn’t seem to hurt. If anything, it’s a guilty pleasure.
7. Shoes that are 10 sizes too big, along with a pair of puffy pants, must be a staple in your wardrobe.
8. Must be emotionally detached to surroundings and the feelings of those around you.
9. Must still believe in Santa Claus.
10. Unable to understand metaphorical speeches. Direct is always better.
11. Must be arrogant enough to think you can save the world on your own – aka, abandon your friends in a mysterious white castle you’ve never seen before.
12. Schooling is not required. This may explain the statement in number 3.
13. Must have a cooler, smarter, and better second half.
14. Must have hair that could kill as well as defy the laws of gravity. This also includes water.
15. There’s no need to understand girls. At all. Whatsoever.
16. Breaks all the rules of basic child safety – i.e.: talking to strange hooded men, running with dangerous objects, leaving your home without telling your mom.
17. Willingness to surrender anything and everything for a girl you haven’t even confessed your love for (well, verbally that is). This also includes self-inflicted pain.
18. Keeping a one-track mind is important. (Kairi)
19. Computer unfriendly.
20. Knowledge on how to fly a Gummiship is a must have quality.
21. Besides flying a Gummiship, knowing how to physically fly is a must.
22. Must take time out from saving the world to prove manly strength in tournaments.
23. Must be able to understand Donald. This also includes the Japanese voice actor for Donald.
24. Have a brain that makes Goofy look like the next Albert Einstein.
25. And most importantly, don’t forget about the angst.

Comments below!

[ Back ]

User Comments

...LOL
i like rule number 5....

Posted by Kyo, on 03/21/2008 at 04:31

Those 25 qualities were awesome! I would like to see more of them.

Posted by spyells, on 03/21/2008 at 04:32

Absolutely hilarious. 3,5,6,7,11,12,14,16, and 24 = The best.

Posted by Infinite, on 03/21/2008 at 04:51

Hahaha!!! That's a great list!

Posted by malakai, on 03/21/2008 at 04:53

i think number 5 is my favorite keek up the good work

Posted by Xziled, on 03/21/2008 at 05:58

Ummm... Nooot really feelin' it...

Posted by Kevin, on 03/21/2008 at 06:25

LOL, rules 3,5, and 24 are the best! ... I can understand English Donald... does that count for anything? :)

Posted by shadow1111111, on 03/21/2008 at 08:09

Well Done!

Posted by DanceMacabre, on 03/21/2008 at 08:14

awsome idea aint it
nd funny as.
cant wait to see more
^____^

Posted by monique, on 03/21/2008 at 08:52

lol that was a great list. but just an idea, it would be cool if they talked about like the best fight in KH

Posted by ravenger147, on 03/21/2008 at 09:11

2 and 5 were the best ;)

Posted by jazumin, on 03/21/2008 at 09:33

Lol this was hilarious

Posted by Maomi, on 03/21/2008 at 12:15

some of it was funny

Posted by Matt, on 03/21/2008 at 13:04

Haha! This is brillant (goes to buy shoes ten sizes bigger and gets Donald Dictionary)

Posted by Masterofshadow, on 03/21/2008 at 13:22

LOL! hilarious :)

Posted by TheSillyNinja, on 03/21/2008 at 13:28

Dude, all of this is SOOO freaking true! I applaude whoever came up with this ^_^

Posted by Chayn, on 03/21/2008 at 14:12

Awesome! The editorials are a great idea, keep them coming.

Posted by Chel, on 03/21/2008 at 14:20

Haha, very nice. Always good to start the day with a good laugh, right?

Posted by haX, on 03/21/2008 at 14:26

#1 is surely the best of them all :D

Posted by dr. s, on 03/21/2008 at 14:35

LOLOLOLOL....this is GREAT....
My favs are 3, 5, 9, 10, 11, 13(especially 13), 14, 15, 16, 18, 19, 22, 23, and 24. And don't forget the angst.

...Funny how '13' refers to Roxas, or Riku...either way, they're still awesome! *fangirl scream*

Posted by KC, on 03/21/2008 at 14:35

His first reaction to the Keyblade was always weird, I mean, what would YOU do if an oversized key magically popped into you hands? I seriously dont think my first reaction would be to start bashing things with it!

Posted by TrekerofHearts, on 03/21/2008 at 15:00

This made me giggle a bit. The lack of updates from Nomura and the new games is saddening. xD

But seriously, Sora, one track mind for Kairi?
NO! Kairi was safe on the islands in KH2. Twas all about Riku. Ya'figure that's why he bursted out in tears for Riku but not over Kairi? Fah.

Posted by ssceles, on 03/21/2008 at 15:12

Hey (: I think this is an interesting feature! Not exactly side-splittingly funny, but it does make me smile. I think commentaries would be great.

The thing is, could you possibly clarify what exactly would be included in the editorial? Would the commentaries be, say, discussions on a certain character's personality, or analyses on story development and the strengths and weaknesses in the game? Would that then mean it is something like forum discussions? Or would it include satires and parodies, in which case it might be confused with fanfiction? I'm sorry I have so many questions, it's just that I'm confused about what exactly an editorial will contain, especially after this first feature.

Posted by Squall, on 03/21/2008 at 15:26

I like number XIII. =D Roxas is SO much cooler...

This is a great add to the site! Please keep up these editorials!!

Posted by Xanthe, on 03/21/2008 at 16:03

that was good now do villians also whats angst?

Posted by eoin, on 03/21/2008 at 16:24

I love the list! It's so true! Haha.

Posted by Lilexchem, on 03/21/2008 at 17:07

I love this list
It's hilarious
I hope there are more like this

Posted by Amy, on 03/21/2008 at 17:25

Very well done.

Though Riku seems to have cornered the market on angst.

Posted by trombonesora, on 03/21/2008 at 17:33

Amen to 3 and 16!

I always wondered how in the world Sora could fall for some of this stuff.

Posted by cyberseraph, on 03/21/2008 at 17:36

hahahaa most of those are very true!

Posted by cheese, on 03/21/2008 at 17:46

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